Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Hamilton, West Wing, or Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. The chapter title is a tribute to Frank Sinatra's 'The Way You Look Tonight'.

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Toby's POV

Leo sat at his desk as he read the UN speech and then he looked up. "Toby?"

Toby paced. "Yeah?"

Leo scratched his necked. "The pacing."

"Yeah." 'Okay.' Toby stood with his hands behind his back and sighed as his eyes darted around the room. "Hmm-mph."

Leo looked up again. "...Okay, now the standin' still is bothering me a little bit."

"Hmpff." Toby sighed. 'Okay.' He sat down and stroked his forehead. "This is the fifth time you're reading it. Are there words in there ya don't understand?" Leo took off his glasses as he stared Toby in the eye before Toby continued. "Of course there wouldn't be, 'cause you can't rise to a position like yours without-" He played with his tie before he stood up and resumed pacing. "HAA-uggg… Look, this is exactly … what we said we wanted it to be." Toby's volume escalated. "We said we were tired of reading about the President's scattershot foreign policy. We said - you want to fillet me for this, fine. We said when we go to the U.N., we were gonna-"

"I think it's great."

"We said we were gonna... Yeah?"

Leo's forehead creased. "I do." He grinned. "You know your wife's goin' ta have something to say about it, though."

"My ex-wife." Toby glanced down.

"Yeah." Leo confirmed.

"Why do you call her my wife?" Toby asked.

"It bothers you."

"Everything bothers me."

"Yeah."

He tilted his head. "But you pick that?"

Leo shrugged. "Yeah."

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Sam's POV

Toby strode through the Bullpen with folders in his hand. "He liked it."

' Gotta get this done.' Sam leaned against a desk. "Yeah?"

Toby stopped just before his doorway. "Heee... liked it a lot. Mostly what I wrote, not so much what you wrote." He headed into his office.

Sam crinkled his forehead. "Yeah? So how long do you think 'fore the old lady comes by ta give ya a whoopin'?"

He stopped and turned around. "Her office called already, didn't they?

Sam grinned. "You bet, baby."

'"HA-uggghhh." Toby groaned. "You prolly wanna rethink callin' me "baby," righ'?"

Sam chuckled. "Yeah."

Toby went into his office just as Ainsley glided through the Bullpen in a slinky black evening gown.

Sam noticed Ainsley. "Whoa, Nellie!" ' Holy shit, she looks good.'

"Hello." Ainsley smiled.

Sam stood up. "Hayes, you could make a good dog break his leash."

A woman in a gray sweater and cardigan filed paperwork at a desk. 'Excuse me?'

Ainsley's eyes twinkled suggestively. "Get to work. We have a social function to get to."

Sam raised his eyebrows. 'And I'll get to break my leash after that?' "Americans for the Preservation of Family Values an' White People?"

Ainsley batted her eyelashes. "The Federalist Society." She drawled.

"A hootenanny." He headed toward his office and Ainsley followed him.

"So what do we got?" Ainsley asked.

"32-50... is a consolidated appropriations act that we wanna drop in the U.N. speech … for Monday morning. I need you to review the final legislative language so we can shop it ... 'round the Hill over the weekend." Sam looked through his files.

Ainsley put her hand on her hip. "What does it call for?"

"Uh, I don't know."

"Sam."

He handed her papers. "It authorizes payment of nine hundred and twenty-six million in U.N. dues … over three years … for an exchange in the reduction of U.N. bureaucracy, as well as peace-keeping assessments by the General Assembly."

She read the documents. "And what are we concerned about?"

"Well, the language was drafted by Republicans." Sam raised his eyebrows.

Ainsley flipped through the pages. "We're inscrutable."

Sam smiled. "I just want you to look for legal land mines."

"Like what?" Ainsley asked.

Sam shrugged. "I dunno. … A ban on German food ... or a hidden amendment saying how annoying the French are."

"How 'bout this? We drop out the U.N. entirely … an' use the 926 million to take everybody in the country out to brunch?" Ainsley rolled up the speech.

Sam nodded as he pointed his pen at her. "Why don't you write that suggestion in the margins?"

"I'll be in my office." Ainsley swung her hips on her way out of the office as her hair trailed down her back.

"Whoa. I didn't even see that thing from the back." He pictured the dress falling to the floor as Ainsley gazed over her shoulder at him. Ainsley passed the woman in a gray cardigan and sweater set.

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Sam's POV

Sam called from his office. "Ginger?" He approached the Bullpen.

"She's not here." The woman in the gray cardigan organized documents that she printed.

"Is Bonnie here?" Sam asked.

"They went ta get something to eat." Celia said.

Sam ambled towards the woman. "Have we met?"

"No. I'm Celia Walton." She shook Sam's hand.

"Sam Seaborn. You're one of the people ... who was sent over for the week?"

"Yeah." She smiled and nodded.

"We appreciated your helping out."

"I go where I'm told. …. D'you mind ... if I …. say something ... ta you?" Celia asked.

Sam read his documents. "No."

"The way you talked to that woman before." She crossed her wrists just below her torso.

Sam furrowed his brow. "What woman?"

"I don't know her name. …. The ... 'dog'... on a leash'."

Sam chuckled. "That was Ainsley Hayes. She's an Associate Counsel."

"Yeah. … It was rude ... it was inappropriate … and it was offensive." Celia said.

'What?' "What did I do?" Sam asked.

"You demeaned her." Celia said.

Sam shook his head. "No, … she's my girlfriend. I'm allowed to flirt with my girlfriend... y'know…. Also, … she started it." He furrowed his brow and creased his forehead.

"Whatever." Celia said.

He bit his lip. "Well… Okay." He headed to his office and then turned around. 'How could that demean her? Am I not supposed to think about her like that?' "I wasn't demeaning her. ... I was complimenting her."

"She's an Associate White House Counsel and you're complimenting her on her sexuality?"

'I compliment her on alotta things.' "She looked good in that dress I thought." 'She always looks, but I mean like…. She looked extra good.'

"Okay." Celia returned to her work.

A redheaded woman marched in and glanced around the Bullpen. "Where is he?"

"Congresswoman?" Sam said.

"Where is he, Sam?" She pursed her lips.

"Toby?" Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Yes." Andy said.

"I … do not know." Sam said.

"Liar." Andy said.

"You … wanna talk about the speech?" Sam asked.

"I, …. and members of the House International Relations Committee, … yes…. I couldn't help but notice that your fingerprints are all over this too. ….. You an' Toby wanna be responsible for starting World War III?" Andy asked.

Sam shook his head. "No."

"Well, you're gonna." Andy's eyes grew wide.

Sam furrowed his brow. "I was having a good night … until, like, … three minutes ago."

"Where is he?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

"...You said that already." Andy said.

"But, … you've asked me again, and I still didn't know." Sam shrugged.

Andy stood in Toby's office doorway. "May I wait in his office?"

"Better his than mine." 'She might … hurt me or something.' Sam said as Andy slammed the door.

"HA-ugg." He sighed and turned back to Celia. "What were we talking 'bout?"

Celia looked up from the desk. " Look, ... I'm just a temporary hand here for a week, but … I don't think it's a joke or anything."

Sam's brows knit together. "And you say Ginger and Bonnie are out getting something … to … eat?"

She fiddled with post-its. "Yeah."

Toby entered the Bullpen with files. "I need these distributed." He handed the files to Celia.

"Andy's in your office." Sam said.

Toby's jaw dropped."You let her in my office?"

"Yeah." 'What was I supposed to do? I thought she might hurt me.'

"What the hell did you let her in my office for?" Toby stepped into Sam's office.

"Okay, ... well, … I'm just gonna step out for a minute an'... not … be ... in this area anymore." ' And I'm gonna sit down … and not touch anything.' Sam walked away.

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Ainsley's POV

' Good, they're getting serious about foreign policy. ….It's gonna ruffle some feathers, though.' Sam entered Ainsley's office through the double doors as Ainsley took notes at her desk. "Wait… what happened to your dress?"

"We're not goin' ta make the party. There's too much work to do." Ainsley said.

Sam's face fell. "I'm sorry, Babe."

"It's okay. There'll be other social functions." Ainsley kissed his cheek. "Anyway. There's a thing in this we need to be careful of."

"What?"

"They say they'll approve a new scale of peacekeeping assessments if there's a cost-sharing mechanism, but it isn't fully addressed here. … You're gonna want me to rewrite some of this language before the president goes to the U.N." Ainsley held a pen laced between her fingers.

"Mm-hmm." Sam contemplated.

"What?" Ainsley asked.

"Let me ask you something. ... Before, … when I said that … you were ... enough ta make a good dog ... break his leash, … you understand … that ... men, … we're the dog, … right?" Sam pointed to himself. "I … was the dog."

"I understood the metaphor." Ainsley said.

"Okay." Sam paced around the office with his hands in his pockets.

"The peacekeeping assessment has to be based on per capita income … of each country, wi' category J countries paying the … least … atta ninety percent discount."

Sam shrugged. "I meant it to make you feel good."

"It did." Ainsley said.

"Although I certainly meant it." He took his hands out of his pockets.

'I know.' "I appreciate it." Ainsley said.

"I didn't mean ta demean you." Sam said.

"I kinda need ya to listen along."

"Okay." Sam leaned on the edge of a table.

"Category A countries will be paying a premium, actually over-paying to cover the … discounts for Category J states." Ainsley said.

"Yeah." Sam agreed.

"So we need to be … more ... specific … about Category A. It's gonna be important." Ainsley said.

"I was told that I demeaned you." Sam said.

Ainsley shook her head. "You didn't."

Sam shrugged to the side. "I was told that I did."

"By whom?" Ainsley asked.

Sam crinkled his face. "By someone named Celia."

"She's mistaken." Ainsley blinked.

"You sure?" Sam asked, concerned.

Ainsley gestured towards herself. "If I felt demeaned, I'd be among the … very … first people to know it."

"Terrific." Sam said.

"Here're my notes." Ainsley said.

"I'll rewrite 'em now. You'll stick around?" Sam said.

"What else would I do on a Friday night?" Ainsley sat at her desk.

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Charlie tracked rainwater in through the Lobby as he limped through the double doors. "Ouch." ' Oh thank God, somewhere I can sit.' He hobbled through the Bullpen. "ka-HUHHHHHH." Charlie sat in Ginger's chair

' Is that … Charlie?' Sam stepped out of his office. "Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you in pain?" He stood in his office doorway.

"No." Charlie said.

Sam read over his speech rough drafts. "Charlie?"

"Yes?" Charlie asked.

Sam stopped in the middle of the room. "Have you been playing basketball?"

"Yes." Charlie said.

Sam put down the speech. "Didya get beat?"

"No." Charlie said.

Sam tilted his head. "Charlie?"

"Yes." Charlie said.

Sam rested against the desk. "Who'd ya play?"

"Doesn't matter." Charlie put his messenger bag on the floor.

"Ed?" Sam inquired.

"Nope." Charlie said.

"Larry?" Sam asked.

"No." Charlie readjusted his position in the chair.

"Jack?" Sam asked.

"No." Charlie said.

'I need coffee.' Sam sauntered past Ginger's desk. "Didya get beat by Manny?"

"No." Charlie said.

"Who?" Sam said.

Charlie reached into his pocket. "Deanna."

"Your sister?" Sam asked.

"Yes." Charlie said.

Sam poured coffee. "Your ...little... sister."

Charlie looked up at Sam. "...She plays varsity, Sam."

The pouring stopped. "Girl's….. varsity."

"She played a finesse game." Charlie said.

"Man, you can't walk." Sam walked back to the desk on the other side of Charlie.

"Yeah. I dunno what's happening to my life." Charlie said.

Sam rests on the edge of the desk. "Listen, I can tell you're down in the dumps, but let's talk about me."

Charlie nodded. "Okay."

"If your sister was getting ready for a night out, an' I said, "Deanna, you're enough to make a good dog break his leash," would you think I was a cad?"

Charlie creased his forehead. "I'd think you were a hick."

Ainsley walked in. "Sam…"

"Hang on. Because of the sentiment or the expression?" Sam asked.

"It's my sister?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah." Sam said.

"I'd beat you up." Charlie said.

"You and how many Girl Scouts?" Sam asked.

"If I could stand up…" Charlie started.

"Sam…" Ainsley said.

"But if it wasn't your sister?" Sam clarified.

"Then you're fine." Charlie said.

"He says I'm fine." Sam stood up.

"You're not, 'cause this isn't quite right." Ainsley said.

"Still?" Sam asked.

"It needs … to be clear ... that the ...total... assessment is down to 25 percent … from 27 percent … for Category A." Ainsley continued.

"We've been in this fight." Sam said.

Celia entered the bullpen as Ainsley continued. "But if we pay before we work out the lang-"

"Hang on." Sam spun around as held up his index finger. "Here she is. … Celia, I asked Ainsley, and she … said … she ... didn't … mind … at all. … Plus, … Charlie ... said he's fine with it."

Celia nodded. "Charlie's a man."

"Damn right." Charlie confirmed as Celia headed back to her desk.

Bonnie and Ginger both returned as Ainsley attempted to redirect Sam's attention. '"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"We need to be clear … we're not gonna take a bath … when other countries can afford to take on more." Ainsley said.

"Yes." Sam said

Ainsley touched his forearm. "This is important."

"Yeah, I also think it's important to make clear I am not a sexist." Sam said.

"And that I'm all man." Charlie added.

Ainsley turned towards Celia. "You're Celia?"

Celia looked up. "Yes."

"He's not a sexist." Ainsley turned back to Sam.

"If you're willing to let your sexuality diminish your power." Celia interrupted.

Ainsley turned back to Celia, taken aback. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, ... 'I'm surprised ... you're willing to let you … sexuality … diminish your power'." Celia repeated.

"I don't even know what that means." Ainsley said.

"I think you do." Celia said.

"An' I think you think I'm made outta candy glass, Celia. If somebody says something that offends you, tell them, ... but all women don't have to think alike." Ainsley said.

"I didn't say they did," Celia creased her forehead. "and when somebody said something that offended me, I did .. say so."

"I like it …. when the guys tease me. It's an ... inadvertent show of respect that I'm on the team, and I don't mind it when it gets sexual. … And … you know why? ... I like sex!" Ainsley's volume escalated.

'Yes, she does.' Sam thought.

Charlie's eyes got wide. "Hello."

"I don't think that whatever sexuality ... I may have ... diminishes my power. … I think it enhances it."

Celia's face scrunched. "And what .. kinda feminism d'ya call that?"

Ainsley gestured towards herself. "My kind."

Ginger shrugged. "It's called Lipstick Feminism. …. I call it … Stiletto... Feminism."

"Stilettos?" Sam's interest peaked as he pictured Ainsley wearing nothing but red lipstick and black stillettos.

"You're not inna enough trouble already?" Ainsley scolded.

"I suppose I am."

"Isn't the point ... that Sam wouldn't have been able … to find ... another way ta be ... chummy … with a woman who's sexually appealing?"

"He would be able to, but that isn't the point. The point is that ... sexual revolution ... tends to get in the way of … actual... revolution. Nonsense issues distract attention away from real ones: pay equity, child care, honest-to-God sexual harassment and, ... in this case, ... a speech in front of the U.N. General Assembly. ...So, you," Ainsley spun around. "25 percent on the assesments for Category A." She turned to Charlie. "You... I don't know what your thing is." She turned back to Celia. "And you, stop trying to take the fun out of my day. …. With that, I'm goin' to get a cupcake."

'Of course she is, because she only had 3 cookies with her dinner.' " Well, for the moment at least, I'm gonna do what she's telling me to do." He headed towards his office.

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