The Journal of Renault, Bishop of Valor

Chapter 5

Alright, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this: I fucked up a bit.
I was on a roll and then I just died again not even an eighth into writing this chapter.

But now I'm back, despite my brain a little more mush than before thanks to work and COVID-19 bullcrap (#BlameWalmart).

If you want to stay up-to-date with this series or any other fanfics I do, feel free to join my brand new Discord server (link is on my Twitter page, guligotgames)

And as always, I hope you enjoy!

The sun was barely over the horizon, and there I was standing in the cold light of early, shivering and shaking trying to keep warm. The training ground was empty and silent except for the soft moan of the morning breeze. Still in pain over my training incident with Briar, I clutched my back in agony and winced. I hated the pain; it only aggravated me even more than I already was. I was annoyed by the fact that I lost to him, but even more annoyed that he did it in embarrassing fashion. I grimaced even more as I tried to stretch out my sore muscles, the feeling of red-hot needles piercing my skin. I clenched my teeth together as I grabbed one of the training blades from the barrel, my muscles silently groaning in excruciating pain. I can't embarrass myself in battle like I did in training, I thought. I have to better myself, starting now.

With both hands, I grasped the handle of the blade and faced the training dummy in front of me. I took a deep breath and swung upward towards the arm. CLUNK! The uppercut landed. I took another swing, this time at the midsection. CLUNK! Another hit. I smiled and wiped the sweat from my forehead, and then I remembered what Briar had said: "Good effort, but all in a losing effort". Cocky bastard, I thought. He'd best be prepared to eat those wo-

"Well, well. Look who's up and early today," a voice had called behind me.

I turned around panting like a tired mutt, and who else but Briar was standing there. Damn it, I thought. Not him again.

"I didn't take you for the early morning training type," he snickered. "You must still be angry over our battle."
"Pissed," I replied heavily. "I can't believe I let you kick my ass."

"You know full well why I beat you, Renault."

I didn't answer.

"You lost because you were acting too rash for your own good. Instead of focusing on my weak points, you got angry and started swinging wildly. You let your mind do the talking instead of your weapon and you'll find yourself dead in a real battle in a matter of seconds. You have to learn how to exploit your opponent's weaknesses before you start swinging." Briar walked over and picked up another practice blade. "There's so much more to battle that both you and I have to learn, but before you can reach my level of understanding you have to relearn the basics. And that's what I intend to help you with."

"I don't need your damn help," I muttered angrily. "I can do this myself."
Briar frowned and shook his head. "Renault, trust me when I say this: I'm not trying to insult your skill, nor am I trying to make you look worthless. I want you to succeed as a mercenary in this guild as much as I want myself to succeed, but if this is how you're going to go about your training, dare I say it, you may never end up the person you want to be. If you really want to beat my ass that bad, the least I can do is help you improve."

Perhaps he was right. I didn't use my head when we fought and I wasn't using my head now. I was so upset at the fact that I lost in embarrassing fashion that I was too busy to point out my own flaws. As I looked down at the blade in my hand, I wondered what I could have said or done better. He was right; I let my anger get a hold of me and let it control my actions. If I was going to prove myself better than him, I have to learn to control my anger and put all that energy into my focus.

"Alright," I sighed. "What do you have in mind?"

Briar smiled once more. "That's more like it. Seeing as how I already taught you about maintaining your fighting stance, let me teach you a few more secrets I know."

I nodded.
"Now then, prepare yourself Renault!"

Little did I realize that as we clashed weapons, there hiding in the corner was the Captain watching us with a big, gritty smile.

I woke up to find myself in a bed inside the church. My head was absolutely killing me and my body felt weak and hot. Damn that Nergal to hell, I thought as I rubbed the temple of my head. It felt like someone hit me on the head with a plank of wood. When I was fully awake, I had come to the realization that not only was I in physical pain but I was also stripped naked in this bed. Thank the Gods no one else was in here to see me like this, especially a woman, I thought. But as soon as that thought crossed my mind, an old bishop walked into the room with a warm and wrinkly smile on his face. I quickly covered my bare parts up as he advanced towards the bed and sat down.

"How do you feel, dear child?" he spoke raspily. "Are you well?"

I didn't answer. It seemed like such a stupid question. Was I well? No I wasn't! I was exhausted, traumatized, and in pain.

"You seem to have had quite the night last night to wake me from my slumber," he chuckled. "Though I would say you aren't the first to come at my door like you did."

I looked back down at my naked body and asked, "Where are my clothes?"

"Drying right by the fireplace," he replied calmly. "Don't worry. Your things are in safe hands, dear child of Elimine."

"My name is Renault," I replied coldly. This didn't phase the old man in the slightest.

"We are blessed to have you in our presence, Renault. I am Saint Bell, leader of the church of Saint Elimine." He paused shortly. "Oh! But you must be hungry!" He clapped twice loudly, and from the doorway came a young man around my age, dressed in formal church clothing. His wide, brown eyes were fixed on his master. "Yoder, please fetch this young man some breakfast." The man bowed respectfully and, without a word, ran out of the room. The old man chuckled. "Ah yes, that young boy Yoder...I found him roaming the streets I did. Poor boy was begging for loose change, all covered in dirt and grime. So I took him in, raised him well, and now he's got the makings of a fine church pastor, don't you think?"

"Yeah, sure," I muttered.

This made Bell frown in discontent. "My dear boy, you look upset. Do tell me what is wrong."

"It's that damned Nergal...he warped my friend's dead body with his malicious magic! Worst of all, he used me!"

"A necromancer, you say?" Bell gasped. "The most sinful of all magi! Corrupting the peaceful dead in their slumber and using them as their puppets! Disgraceful, I say!"

"That's one way to put it."

I told Bell everything. I told him about Briar's death, about how I met Nergal, how I murdered a man just to bring back an old friend. All he could do was shake his head.

Just then, Yoder returned with a piping hot bowl of what looked like oats and fresh milk. He set them down by the night table and bowed to Saint Bell. "Bless you, dear Yoder," Bell chuckled, bowing back. "Now, have you said your prayers today?"

"No master. I was about to once I had delivered your meals," Yoder replied in a soft voice.

"Very well. Run along, young man. Do not keep Saint Elimine waiting now."

Yoder nodded and ran back out. He seemed like a nice young lad. Made me feel bad about myself in a way.

"Now then, I shall allow you to eat your breakfast and clothe yourself. Should you need anything, I will be in the next room over." As he exited the room, he told me one last thing: "And I do hope you'll stick around for the mass. It would do you some good to say a prayer or two."

I didn't say a word back. I wanted to deny his request, to leave the church and go after Nergal. I had no interest in religion or praying. My mind was set: I had to face Nergal and teach him a lesson. As I sat in bed pondering my plan, I looked over at the clothes Saint Bell left for me, a white and beige tunic with a magenta undercloth and a light purple cape, then took a bite of the oats before me. They tasted sweet, almost like honey, but were very crunchy at first. The milk made it much soggier and easier to down. When I had finished both, I came to the decision to stay after all and humor Saint Bell.

As the church bell struck twelve times to signal noontime and I put on the last item of clothing, I walked out into the main hall and sat at the front quietly, trying to avoid attention. The doors behind me swung open and a wave of commoners entered silently, taking their seats without so much a whisper. As the last patron sat, Saint Bell advanced towards the podium and began the mass. Bell raised his hands slowly and fluidly.

"Dear children of Saint Elimine," he boomed, "I bid you all welcome to our church once more. Today, we are joined by yet another lost soul, looking to condone his sins and forever serve Her for all his days and in the great beyond. Blessed am I, as we all should be, to welcome in our newest companion in faith, Renault. Would you care to stand, dear boy?"

I sighed and stood to my feet, bowing to the crowd unenthusiastically. The crowd did not stand, instead replying simply with "Blessed are we to have you, Renault." Good grief, I thought, this is stupid. But I did choose to stay. Can't walk out now. I sat back down and watched as Bell began to talk for two hours. I could have left at any time. I could have simply fallen asleep, or walk out and focus on my mission.

But I didn't.

Instead, I allowed myself to become absorbed in this religion Bell preached. My boredom turned to fascination as I learned about Saint Elimine and the history of Etruria and Elibe. I became increasingly drawn in by this newfound knowledge that, hours ago, I never even cared about.

And just like that, the mass was over. With one last bow, Bell spoke softly to the crowd: "Remember, children of Elimine. She sees and loves all, and blessed are you in Her presence."

As the people left following the mass, Saint Bell called me over to the podium with a beckoning finger. I walked up to him, unaware of what he was going to say. As I came closer, a smile stretched out across his face.

"So?" he spoke. "How do you feel?"

"I feel…" How could I explain how I felt when I had no idea what I was feeling? Was I calmer than last night? Was I pleased to be in a safe haven at last? Was I still angry and upset over what happened to Briar? What could I say?
"I feel...fine," I said unsurely. "I don't know why, but I feel like all my worries are just...gone. Vanished."

"Not gone, Renault. Not yet," Bell replied heartily. "This feeling you feel is just the beginning of your atonement."

"The beginning?"

"Yes. You have much left to learn and much left to forget. It is the path that was created for you."

Much left to learn. Those words again.

"Should you choose to," Bell sighed, extending an arm around me and leading me down from the stage, "you can stay here and continue to serve the church well. Call it...an escape from your past. A reclusive life atoning and serving Saint Elimine for the rest of your days. A chance to start anew and walk a different path. What say you?"

Without hesitating, I replied simply, "And if I were to walk away?"

Bell frowned. "I'm afraid you would live your life a lonesome vagabond with a chip on your shoulder. A chip that you'll never rid yourself of. Should you stray from the path of right, the path of the sacred man, you will find yourself no better than Nergal."

So I have no choice, I thought. Really, I want to exact my revenge on Nergal. Yet at the same time, Bell had a point. If I were to leave now, if I were to fight Nergal, I wouldn't be the better man even if I defeated him. I would still live a life of sin, a life full of trauma and blood. I could not let that happen. I knew I had to make myself better. I chose the life of a sword-swinging brute and allowed myself to get caught up in Nergal's mess. Now I have to see myself out of it.

"When do we start?" I asked him.

Bell smiled once more and gave me a pat on the back. "There's no time like the present."

And with those words, my lifelong journey as a religious man began.

Thank you so much for reading! I wish I could have added Yoder to the list of characters, but neither of the names he went by (Yoder, Yodel, Jobel, Mitre, etc.) were findable (which is just stupid). But eh, I guess I'll just be waiting for them "I didn't know Renault and Yoder met!" comments I guess. Don't forget to join the Discord with the link on my Twitter bio (guligotgames on Twitter, or use the link above), and be sure to leave a review if you enjoy this series!