Paul.
Dark brown, nearly black, eyes focus on the back of my head from the frame of the bathroom door before leaning more to the right to look at me in the mirror.
"You off?" Dad's voice reverberates off of the bathroom walls, while I finish the last stroke of the razor down my face and wash it off in the sink before splashing my face with water and patting it dry with the hand towel next to me.
"Yeah." I say it shortly, clearing my throat, turning to go back to my room and finish getting dressed, but my way is blocked completely, dad eyeing me as if he wants to have another go round of yelling at one another until I get past the point of return and shift in the middle of the damn house.
"Are we gonna talk about last night or pretend it didn't happen like we've been doing since this whole…" He still refuses to call my phasing what it really is, completely in denial about the fact of what I am, now.
"We can talk about it." I mumble, leaning against the counter. "Doesn't mean it's gonna do any good. I doubt this is something that can be talked away."
"Well, something's gotta give because I'm not living with an atomic bomb waiting to explode into a giant wolf when he gets pissed off the slightest bit, either."
"Believe it or not I'm getting a better handle on it, Pop."
He doesn't look the least bit convinced.
"I have a porch that's obliterated, now, I just had a wall fixed back up from you plowing through it over an argument about curfew."
I just watch as the hopeless look flashes in his eyes.
"I know things aren't normal, and I know they probably won't be at all for a very long time but…I don't know about all this. I don't know if it's worth it."
This is what it always boils down to.
Whether the gene I possess is actually worth it or not.
"It's worth it to me." I can't help but defend it sternly, cutting my eyes at him.
"You realize I feel like I'm talking to a completely different kid than what was standing before me a year ago? You're bigger than me now, you're taller than me, your temper is a hell of a lot worse and you've always had a shitty one so what you've got now is exponential."
"And all that change is contributing to the fact that I'm doing something bigger than myself, temper or not. I don't know why you can't just be proud of me for protecting the tribe and our community."
Unable to argue with me anymore, seeing how important it is to me, he just gives a small nod.
"We can just agree to disagree." He voices, calmly.
It's always that last jab that he has to get in that turns an argument into a full blown fight, and he knows.
That's why he does it.
"You know what? If you want to raise hell to someone over it, you can talk to Sam about it." I harshly bite out, shoving past him, our shoulders abrasively knocking past each other.
I get to my room, pulling my shorts and a grey t-shirt on, stepping to the door.
"Where you headed?" Dad asks me next.
I ignore him, slamming the back door shut before walking around to the front of the house and heading toward the tree line, taking one last glance at the front porch to see the damage I caused last night.
"Shit." I mumble.
XXX
"The whole damn thing'll have to be rebuilt." Jared listens to me as he pulls his shorts on before stepping closer to the tree line that ends and becomes open land. "Dad's probably gonna call Sam and bitch his ear off about my temper and all the other bullshit he says has gotten worse since I changed…again."
"Eh, Sam can take it. He's a big boy." Jared comments.
"But it's not Sam's fault. He's going through the same thing we are. He's just trying to figure it out, too. Just because he was the first to phase doesn't mean he has all the answers and solutions to our individual problems. And it sure as hell doesn't mean my dad needs to take it all out on him." I state next.
"You could just rip the bandaid off and tell him what happened with Sam and Emily." Jared suggests. "He wouldn't be harassing Sam for answers then. It would just prove he knows almost as much as us about control."
"That's not mine to tell." I shake my head, my mouth pulling downward.
"Look, you and your dad will figure it out. Me and my folks did."
"Because your parents think you're an angel who can do no wrong. They're probably honored that you've been blessed with the gene that allows you to protect."
"Not necessarily." Jared counters, raising his brows, while I just looks at him as if he's full of it. "So, mom sheds a tear every now and then because she's so proud, big deal." He adds.
"I'm sure my Dad sheds a tear because he thinks I'm cursed." Jared puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me on our way to the car.
"I know you're going through a lot with your dad, but leave it here. Because Emily has got a complete stranger living with her right now and the last thing any of us needs is for you to keep drumming about your dad until you get on a rant and get yourself fired up all over again and next thing you know, 'BAM!'" Jared claps his hands once. "Big ole wolf right in the middle of the fucking kitchen!"
"Why the hell is this girl living there, again?" I question him. Even after he filled me in last night I was still confused. I just knew Sam wasn't happy about it and Jared wasn't either until he decided she might be fun.
"She's Emily's cousin. I was too distracted by the fact she brought home a stray to even think about why she was even staying there." Jared explains."She's hot, though, so that makes it a little more tolerable." He says next with a shrug, catching the way I roll my eyes and the venomous thoughts that seep from my subconscious about outsiders. "You will not be that pissed when you see her." He adds.
"Your judgment sucks." I remind him, to which he responds, "On a scale from one to ten, she's a fucking twenty."
"You think that way about any girl." I point out, having heard his speech on girls he found attractive plenty of times.
"If this chick told me I could fuck her but there was a guarantee she would slit my throat afterwards, I'd use my last dying breath to thank her." He keeps on and I look at him as if he's crazy.
"You need help, dude." I tell him.
"Just wait until you get an eyeful. It'll have you whacked out, too. Until Sam scolds you and tells you to think respectful thoughts about her and how if Emily knew you were imaging her cousin in not respectful ways she'd kill you and he'd help her bury your body." He sighs out. "But like I said, she's Tommy Clearwater's daughter so she's probably freaking bonkers."
We both know if she is crazy it's more than likely not because of Tommy himself, but more so because of who he chose to procreate with.
Horror stories have been told about the infamous Belinda Augustine.
Sue Clearwater had always been convinced her sister in-law was a soul eating demon who thrived off of making people miserable and that's why Harry's baby brother ended up dead.
Everyone just skirts around anything having to do with Tom if they're around Sue, not wanting to hear someone so kind and patient spew pure hatred for as long as she's allowed.
"And that's why I don't care how hot she is. I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole." I mumble to him.
"Paul, I tried to get her number last night but she shot me down." He starts, looking at me, and I can't help but laugh at how he looks over it. "I'm serious, if I can't get her to give in to the lean mean Jared love machine, you might have to take one for the team." It's said so seriously that I have to question if he's actually joking or not.
"What hell are you talking about, 'take one for the team'? What team?" I ask him.
"Sam's with Emily, he doesn't even see the faces of any other chicks except her which is nice but me and you are willing and ready bachelors."
I know where this is going and immediately shake my head.
"I guarantee you if you got laid, you wouldn't be so angry all the time."
My face twists and he sees it before he's rushing to explain.
"I'm so chill because I have a healthy relationship with girls. I love chicks. I'm not picky. You, however, haven't gotten as much as a hand to hold ever since you and Nicole broke up a whole year ago and I guarantee you just getting some will make you not so pissy." He suggests. "So, if I can't get with this girl, you've gotta try."
"You want me to try to get in Emily's cousin's pants?"
"Home run. Knock the ball completely out of the park."
"For the 'team'?"
"Your wins are my wins." Jared assures me.
"Hell no." I let him down.
"What?!"
"Jared, I don't need to open that can of worms. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings or disrespect Emily or their family, or have Sam angry with me more than he already is for the shit with my dad…I don't care how beautiful or hot she is, I'm staying far away especially if she's the spawn of Satan herself." I decide.
"Completely your loss. Crazy chicks are fun." Jared says as if he's reminiscing.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Hell yeah."
"You ask Tom Clearwater how much fun he's having, then." I tell him.
Jared looks at me, his face falling, completely unamused as he lets it sink in.
"That's fucked up." He tells me as I stifle a laugh, his fist hits my shoulder lightly, repeating, "that's fucked up, man," only making me struggle more not to laugh.
We eventually get to Emily's, parking beside her truck, having been ordered to drive here instead of show up on foot to seem less suspicious to Emily's company.
Her door's pulled open to let the warm air in, the sun taking its time to start shining today after a week of storms.
The wood of the porch creeks under our weight as we make our way inside, seeing our Alpha's fiancé sitting at the table eating her breakfast while Sam gets himself some more orange juice.
"Good morning." She greets us with her warm smile.
It cracks away at my irritability with her immediately.
The one person I can't stay mad at for long at all.
She's too good.
"Good morning." I squeeze her shoulder gently to regard her as Jared and I walk to the counter where the breakfast food awaits.
Huge cinnamon rolls, a pile of bacon, a bowl of scrambled eggs that are nearly overflowing the glass of that which contains them.
The house already smells different, no longer cloaked with just Emily and Sam's scent but another as well.
"Where's Marisela?" Jared asks Emily in a teasing manner, trying to get on her nerves so early in the morning.
"Getting ready to go to Sue's with me." Em kicks her foot out at his thigh as he passes, making contact despite him trying to dodge it.
"Can you stop beating me up?" He asks her while he sits down, mouth full of bacon.
"Can you not speak with a mouthful?" She counters, her dark brows raising.
He finishes chewing by the time I make a plate and sit down next to them.
"So, I've already talked to Mari but I'm talking to you guys about it, too." She starts to us, moving her bangs from her dark eyes. "I need guys to be careful around her."
"No shit." Jared says immediately, as if we already know that, Sam glaring at him for his tone and choice of words towards Emily. "Sorry." He says next to her.
"I don't just mean the…" She turns her two middle fingers to touch her thumb, making a little wolf with her hand. "…situation. I'm also talking about the situation in which you're teenagers who get into trouble and she's here because she kept getting into trouble, therefor I don't need troublemakers grouping together and giving me and your parents blood pressure problems."
"O ye of so little faith, Em." Jared shakes his head, sipping his juice. "Have we ever been anything but absolute saints?"
Sam keeps his lips sealed tight, eyes on Emily because he can just guess what she's about to bring up.
She holds her fingers to her right ear mimicking a phone as she mimics Jared crying as she says, "Emily, I'm wasted off my ass, I'm failing school, and this chick thinks she might be knocked up with my kid. What am I gonna do?"
Recanting the voicemail he had left on her phone at four in the morning a few days before his first phase months ago.
"Okay, low blow." He points at her as she chuckles, standing up. "That's a total cheap shot. I was going through a lot."
"You're a saint, though, remember?" She jokes, cleaning her plate off before turning the sink water on to wash it.
I start tearing at the sweet, sticky dough of my cinnamon roll as the boards upstairs shift ever so slightly, signaling the wake of Emily's cousin.
Looking to the stairs and seeing merely the bottom of her feet, deep burgundy nail polish on her toe nails, the color contrasting with the pale taupe of her skin…I force myself to look down at my food while Jared kicks at my ankle under the table, his eyes staying on her as she reaches the floor.
"Good morning, princess Mari." Emily greets her, her voice practically dripping in adoration for her, it's a returned sentiment as Mari replies, "good morning."
"What happened?!" The temptation to look up and see what's gotten Em wound up is as strong as steel, having to force myself not to look.
"I fell down the stairs last night." She explains. "Flat on my chest." She adds, and I hear the clanging of a clean plate leaving the cabinet.
"That looks awful, Mari." Emily whispers to her.
"I think it broke my left tit." She whispers back, completely unaware that me, Sam, and Jared, can hear her.
Jared looks down at his own bare chest, a hand coming to his pectoral.
Is that possible? He asks Sam and I, to which I bury my face in my hands to get a grip, while Sam forces back a chuckle.
"I bet." Em replies to Mari. "We can have Sue look at it when we go over there."
"Sue is not looking at these." She scoffs under her breath.
"Sue has already seen those, and everything else you've got. She changed your diapers and gave you baths." Emily states quietly.
"That's not the same." Mari argues lowly.
Sam clears his throat to hopefully change the subject and I bite my tongue to keep from thanking him aloud for it.
"Are you going with us to Sue's?" Marisela asks.
"Um—" Sam's cut off by Jared.
"—Depends on if Leah's gonna be there or not."
I can feel Sam glare at him from here while I try to finish my food.
The air shifts uncomfortably as something in Marisela turns sour, rotten, and it wraps around each word as she takes the opportunity to dig into Sam passively.
"Yeah, when are we gonna talk about that?" She asks him and solely him, eliminating even the possibility of Emily getting pulled into it.
I finish my eggs and cinnamon roll, my bacon looking less and less appealing as I contemplate just leaving.
"It's not necessarily your business, Marisela." Sam isn't rude or dismissive towards her, just stern, trying to leave no room for an argument.
I can practically hear the eagerness to go for his jugular in the way she takes in a breath, my hands balling into fists.
"It's fucked that you wasted four years of Leah's life just to turn around and shack up with a cousin who's like her sister." She cuts out. "Well, was like her sister. I doubt the sentiment is the same."
Sam stands up, making the hair of my arms stand on end.
She moves when he does, taking a step closer to him after loudly plopping the plate onto the counter, making Emily jump in her place with its abrupt racket.
I finally look at her to size her up just as Emily is letting out a sharp, "Marisela."
My breath constricts in my lungs.
Eyes the color of dark honey, framed with thick lashes, pin-straight black hair that cascades down her shoulders, stopping right under her chest that's smattered in fresh bruising from her collar bone and across her sternum. The black tank top she's wearing makes no attempt to hide it.
My throat goes dry, my head swimming.
The entirety of her steals my attention away from the back and forth she's having with Sam that I'm confident won't get out of control.
After what happened to Emily he buckled down.
Mari's words she's tossing carelessly to him are probably like someone throwing cereal at the back of his head, but even then, I feel the need to try to defuse it.
I go to stand, my legs feel as if they might buckle out from underneath me.
Jared stares at me while the situation at hand gets louder and louder, Mari beginning to throw in a language we can't even understand into the mix, a burgundy finger nail jabbing at Sam's chest as she looks up at him like a little lap dog bitching out a Doberman.
Emily grabs her arm to pull her away from him, Marisela snatching away so harshly it makes Emily stumble back a couple steps.
This is what gets to Sam, making a move to get her hand away from him but she yanks away, barking, "don't fucking touch me!" to him.
"Hey!" Emily shouts, silencing Marisela when she grabs her arm and forces her a few feet back. "If this is how you start your mornings then no wonder your mom needed a break." This is the first time I've heard something of the nature come from her, looking at Mari as if she can't recognize who she is in this moment.
A scarier thought is she probably can recognize her, it's just not Marisela she's seeing, but the one who gave her everything but her hair, skin, and eyes.
Marisela just keeps her ice cold stare on Sam, her chest heaving with her breath, trying to calm down, as is mine I'm realizing.
Sam glances at me as if I've just fucked my life up, a look of pity that drags me back to reality from what just occurred in the midst of a screaming match between Mari and herself.
We know what's happened, there's no way around it.
I feel myself heat up the more it registers in my mind what I've done — more so what my body has done.
Compelled to touch her, to learn her, a rage starts simmering within my blood. I feel betrayed by myself, angry, because if she's an echo of her mother, then I'm Tom, about to spend my life fighting like hell to not willingly let her run me into the ground.