Paul.
I can practically feel the hum of energy radiating from members of our tribe, most of them family, as there's a constant influx of guests arriving at Harry and Sue's. All come into the house to say, "hello," ask where to put the food they brought, ask who all is here or who all is supposed to be coming.
Jared and I try to avoid the large groups that trickle through the door one by one in waves.
As soon as more people walk back outside to speak to Harry and Billy, more people come in the house.
Jared, Sam, and I have a good chunk of our day taking shifts of patrol, deciding to take a couple hours off to enjoy our family and friends.
Sue has had Jared and I helping to finish dishes that she's cooked, help get everything organized and prepared, sent us to the store twice for more drinks and more ice, while Sam has been helping Harry finish with small things that needed fixing up around the house so everything would be perfect for the guests.
Emily and Sue have been teaching Mari to cook, which has resulted in several pieces of fried chicken to be thrown out because they were burnt to a crisp under Marisela's care.
I would've eaten the damn chicken just to make her feel better about causing food to be wasted.
Sue had merely shrugged it off as "a learning experience," while her niece had gone back home to shower and get ready for tonight, so each time the door opens I'm picking my head up from my spot on the couch, talking with Jared, only to be disappointed that it's not her.
This time it opens to reveal Jared's mom, holding a large tin pan that's covered with tinfoil to keep it warm and bugs away from it.
"Ma!" Jared calls out as she greets Sue, asking where the food goes.
"What is it?" Sue asks her.
"Mac N' Cheese." She replies.
"Okay, that can go right here." Sue takes the pan while Emily clears out more counter space—attempts to, at least.
"We'll have to start putting food on the table." Em says to her as Jared's mother steps around the counter to greet her with a tight hug and warm smile.
"I know she heard me." Jared grumbles, pouting.
"You are such a mama's boy." I say to him, lowly, cutting my eyes to aggravate him.
"Yeah, and what about it?" He asks, raising his dark brows.
I have to respect how much he loves his mother, despite the fact that I pick at him a lot over it. But that's all it is. Just aggravating. He knows that.
"Ma!" He tries again as she goes to the door and she stops, looking toward us.
"Are you being good?" Her face lights up as she comes toward us, long black hair reaching her waist, green eyes narrowing at the two of us as if we've been in trouble.
"Yes, we are." Jared assures her in a dragged out voice as if he's bored out of his mind with being on his best behavior.
"I know you are." She agrees, smiling, and he stands as she gets to us, hugging her and she lets out a groan, chuckling as he lets up.
"Sorry." He mumbles as they pull away.
She just kisses his cheek before trying to smooth down his hair, frowning when it won't lay down.
"When are we eating?" He whispers to her as if she has some secret grown-up insight.
"I don't know, ask Sue." She says to him.
"She told me if I ask again she's gonna hit me with a wood spoon." He complains under his breath and she laughs.
"Patience." She pats his shoulder, smiling at me. "Is dad coming tonight?" She asks.
"He should be." I nod I response.
"Good, good." She sighs out. "I'll be outside if you need to whine about anything else." Her attention is on Jared once more, poking fun at him.
"Funny, mom." He says to her and she chuckles, patting his cheek before turning to head out to the yard. "My stomach is chewing a hole in itself, right now." He adds, falling back on the couch.
I just keep my eyes glued to the door, trying to hear what's happening outside, hoping to hear any sign of her.
Harry and Billy's laughter, Jared's mother speaking to Leah, Sam and Seth talking about baseball, Embry and Quil placing bets on what kid is going to win the intense game of tag, the voices and conversations of various cousins, extended family, aunts and uncles, and family friends is all I hear.
"Do you even think she's still coming?" I ask Jared in a whisper, and he looks at me.
"...Ya know, when I said try to score, I didn't mean buy the whole damn team."
I visibly wince at his words, the subject of them a touchy one at the moment.
"She's not a 'team'." I correct him, rolling my eyes. "And I can't control it." I add, taking a sip of soda straight from the can, and he raises his brows.
"Is it all magical like Sam thinks his is?" Jared asks me.
I don't know exactly how to describe it, struggling to form sentences even remembering the feeling that had possessed me and hadn't let me go no matter how hard I've tried to fight it off of me.
Possessed. That's a fitting term.
It stings to even compare it to something so malicious
"Something like that." I reply. "I'm supposed to take her back to her old house tonight after we get done here."
Jared gets that look on his face he gets when hears something he likes.
"It's not gonna be like that." I tell him immediately.
"I never said it was. I'm just glad you're actually willing to spend some time with her." He admits. "But you'll tell me what happens, right?"
I furrow my brows, unamused, and he chuckles, patting my shoulder.
My attention is grasped upon hearing a car door shut and a sharp gasp, followed by the sound of Jared's mother exclaiming, "oh my gosh, look at you!" loudly, accompanied by Marisela's soft chuckle in response.
My feet are darting to the kitchen before I can control myself, peeking out of the window to see her embracing Jared's mom with a wide smile on her face, the single dimple in her right cheek poking out.
"...What ya doin'?" Sue's voice catches me off guard, her and Emily staring at me.
"Oh, I-I was looking to see who all is here." I shrug, trying to play it off.
Emily doesn't even know yet that I've called been forced to call dibs on her cousin, and I would like it to stay that way for now.
Meanwhile I'm almost one hundred percent certain that Sue knows about it, she's just keeping it to herself.
"Mmhmm." Sue mumbles as steps climb up on the porch and approach the door.
It swings open and in she comes, centimeters from me, letting out an, "oops, sorry," when she door knocks against my shoe as she steps inside.
She realizes it's me, doing a double take before that smile comes back.
"Hey." It's spoken nervously, but she sounds like she's pleased to see me.
I feel like I'm high just off the fact I've made her happy in some capacity, just by being here.
"Hey." My throat goes dry as my own nerves get the best of me, my eyes quickly examining her as she steps to her aunt.
Her dark hair is now pulled up in a ponytail tail, a neat one, light makeup enhancing her already flawless - in my mind - features.
She's changed into nearly white jean shorts and a T-shirt. Her feet are bare so I assume she stepped out of her shoes before coming into the house.
"When are we eating?" She asks Sue, and she sighs out.
"Did Jared send you?" Sue asks her, flatly.
"No!" Jared calls to deny it from his spot on the couch.
"I think we're waiting on a few more people, and then we'll eat." Emily cuts in with a patient assurance.
Mari huffs out a breath and walks to the den, kicking Jared's feet off the coffee table before sitting on it right across from him.
"I'm bored." She whispers to him in a grumble, resting her elbow on her knee, her chin cradled in her hand.
He leans forward, her knees between his, their faces inches from one another as he says back, "You know what you can do about it?" just as quietly as her.
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end and I feel heat poke at my skin, my fist clenching tightly.
"Go steal me a piece of chicken." He mumbles, next, and her laugh permeates the small space, tugging at his own mouth as he leans back once again, taking in a breath.
"I don't feel like facing aunt Sue's wrath." Mari replies to him and he shrugs before continuing.
"So, I heard you're going to visit your old house tonight." He starts, raising his brows.
"Did your boyfriend tell you that?" She asks him.
"Yes, he sure did." He shoots back. "Are you not scared it's gonna be too weird?"
"No, not really." She sighs. "I just don't know how it could be in good shape with no one having lived in it for so long."
"Paul and his dad lived there 'til he was, like, ten." Jared states. "When they moved back."
"Moved back?" This seems to catch her attention, as if her ears perk up.
"Time to eat!" Sue exclaims, which completely wipes their conversation from Jared's mind as he's the first one to the kitchen as Sue opens the front door, asking Harry if he and the guests outside are ready to eat.
They all agree and soon there's a swarm of family going in and out of the house like they were when they first got here, except instead of organizing and placing food down, they're now filling their plates.
I don't go until Marisela goes, and of course she doesn't go until some of the crowd eases off to find a spot to situate and eat comfortably in.
Emily and Sue are right along with us, Sam deliberately waiting for Emily as well.
He sees that I've done the same as him, glancing from me to Mari before his fiancée has once again captured his attention by just existing.
I'm unable to read his expression before it shifts to utter cheer at the sight of Emily who is talking his ear off while she walks ahead of him in the food line.
I think he's happy I've found my 'one,' perhaps his nervous she won't return the feeling...or maybe he hopes I won't continue to be bitter of it, maybe he figured there was no room left to be bitter with the all-consuming loyalty and adoration that burns for an imprint so he's shocked that I've even been able to fight it even a little bit.
She doesn't even acknowledge that I'm behind her, I don't think she's noticed, not until it's time to grab something to drink and I offer to pour soda in her cup for her since she's got her hands full.
"Thank you." She says to me as I hand the cup back to her. "I didn't know you lived in my old house." She states next.
"Said who?" I play dumb, but it comes off crass.
"Jared." She replies cautiously.
"Yeah, it's a long story. I'll tell you about it later...maybe." I say next as the two of us look for somewhere to sit.
There's an open spot by my dad at the full table that's set up outside, packed out with mostly men, including Billy, Harry, and Quil Ateara's Grandfather, or "Old Quil", as we call him.
She makes a bee-line for the spot right next to Leah at a different table several yards away, the same table Sue, Seth, Embry's mother and Jared's mother are sitting.
My next option is at the small table that contains Jacob, Embry, and Quil, and I decide it'd make me more uncomfortable to be around them than it would make them, so I opt for the safe bet of sitting beside my dad, settling for stealing a look at Marisela every now and then.
I don't even hear the conversation around me, dad and his buddies cracking up constantly retelling funny stories of hunting, fishing, and trouble making back in their glory days while Old Quil just shakes his head remembering how hard they were to deal with as young men.
Stories I've heard all before over the years, but still entertaining no matter how many times they're told.
"...Remember when we took Tommy snipe hunting?" It's chuckled out by Harry, my dad already laughing as soon as the words leave his mouth as if the memory is forever engrained into his mind, replaying at the mention of it.
"Oh, God, how could I forget?" Billy asks Harry, in the same shape as my father, their smiles stretching wide across their faces.
This is a story I haven't ever heard.
"What happened?" I ask them.
"My baby brother had just turned eighteen," Harry starts, "and all any of us could hear was that he was really a man, now. We got tired of hearing him constantly brag about being a man that Billy finally said, 'You know what, you're not a man. You're not a man until you bring home a Snipe." He explains. "So, of course, he goes, 'Okay, easy. Let's go tonight,' so we get our guns ready and our flashlights and things we'll need to catch a snipe, and we get out there and we stay out there for about two hours. Well, he didn't want to be out there past three a.m. because that was 'witching hour,' as he called it. So, he's reminding us of the time again and again and again and we're deliberately dragging on as slow as we can and as long as we can to make us stay out there longer. Well it gets to be about 2:50 in the morning and he's starting to panic just a little bit. And Billy and your dad are teasing him a little bit so he decides that he's not going to let the time get in the way of proving himself as a man. We give him a shotgun, and point him in the direction of where we claimed Snipes were, and then we quietly but quickly run off and get out of sight. He makes it about fifteen feet before he realizes that we've left him, and he gets so scared that he craps on himself." The three of them are belly laughing by the time the kicker of the story comes up, dad holding his now red face in his hands, trying to calm down.
"Then we felt bad," Billy continues, catching his own breath, "so while we're still out there trying to help him get himself cleaned up, he's trying to get some leaves or something to wipe off with, and Nate accidentally grabs the damn poison oak and hands it to him." Another round of laughter, a smile pulling at my lips.
"I got a phone call the next morning and he thought his girlfriend at the time had been cheating or something because he had an itchy rash everywhere, the poor kid." Dad's eyes are completely shut with how hard he's laughing as Billy and Harry once again join in.
"He was something else." Harry says, next.
They get their chuckles out, completely, the three of them catching a breath before an appreciative solemness falls over them momentarily, as if remembering he's no longer here to laugh about it with them.
It only lasts for a few seconds before another conversation is started.
Once the food is eaten and the desserts come out, it's yet another long wait in line, Jared yapping about all the fun to be had this summer.
The way I see it, it won't be much different than it's been the last several months since our phasing: eating, sleeping, trying to get better control of ourselves, and keeping leeches off the land.
I hear a faint, infectious laugh and glance over to see Mari and Jared's mother in conversation, Sue also chuckling.
Perhaps the summer may be a bit different than what the past months have been.
I go to look away but my chin is grasped in the hold of curiosity when I hear Sue say, "Embry, you remember my niece."
Looking on as his eyes shoot to Mari, a dumb, awkward smile pulling at his lips as he nods his head just a little.
"Oh, yeah." He reaches his hand out and she takes it, returning the grin.
"Dude, are you gonna go or what?" Jared's nearly barking in my ear impatiently.
It's as if my tunnel vision has cleared, my ears now being filled with the sound of everyone around us speaking, Marisela and Embry's continued exchange falling to the background as I snap back to reality.
I glance quickly one last time to see Jacob and Quil are also greeting her, the three of them looking as if they've never seen anyone of the opposite sex around our age before.
Jared follows my line of sight and scoffs, rolling his eyes.
"Nothing to get pissed over. They're the weaker kids, dude. There's not a snowball shot in hell. Just get some cake and go. I'm fucking hungry." He mumbles as he nudges me along, and I step out of the line and discard my empty paper plate in the garbage bag before heading back into Harry and Sue's house as my body shakes and shifts, fur daring to break at my skin and I'm white-knuckling the kitchen counter to try to get a grip on myself before I wreck another house — one that isn't even mine.
I'm tempted to just go off into the woods and let the wolf run it out until exhaustion. Blow off tonight entirely. I can just tell Marisela I'm sick or something.
The image of her face when I said I could take her back there comes to mind, and I'm burying any idea that doesn't have anything to do with following through with the plans we made.
Steps on the porch telling of incoming company has me darting down the hall into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door.
Baby babbles echo down to me as steps grow closer but turn off at the first room one the right — Sue and Harry's.
"Sue said just lay it out on the bed." Emily's voice sounds, and Marisela's follows it with an, "okay."
I can hear the both of them making funny noises to get the baby to squeal with laughter.
"Alright, Claire, let's see what we've got," Em says to her niece.
I'm assuming they're about to change her diaper and I know I guessed correctly as soon as Emily goes "oh, yuck, Claire!" and the smell of shit hits me in the face.
I'm silently gagging, Emily and Mari are gagging while Claire laughs, probably thinking it's another game of them making funny noises.
"That's from the depths of hell." Marisela chokes out, her voice has a nasally pitch as if she's holding her nose. "No wonder your mom practically threw you at us, kid."
Emily chuckles, before clearing her throat and pushing past the jokes.
"So, about tonight..." She starts, and I hear Mari sigh.
"What about tonight?" Mari questions.
"I need you home by nine o'clock."
Mari must be giving her a look because she quickly adds, "It shouldn't take you longer than ten minutes to look around the place, anyway, Marisela."
"Why exactly is my cousin giving me a curfew?" She asks and now it's Emily's turn to sigh.
"Because we have wild animals and I don't want you to get hurt." Emily states. "Not like I did." She throws in for good measure.
"Because wild animals? Not because it has something to do with the fact I'm gonna be with one of the guys you've told me to stay away from?"
"That's not what I meant when I said it, Marisela, and you know that." Emily replies calmly. "I don't mind you're gonna be with him. I just..." She trails off. "...Sam wants you home at nine o'clock. Okay?"
"Oh, Sam wants me home at nine. So, Sam's in charge of me now, is that it? I have to listen to him 'or else'?" An entirely new can of worms is unleashed.
"No, he's not. But you are in my care as of right now, and it's our house, our rules. If you don't like it, go somewhere else. But we're the most lenient around here, so, tread lightly with your expectations if you do choose to go somewhere else." Emily warns before she turns her attention back to Claire and pipes, "all clean, stinky girl."
There's another bout of silence.
"Marisela, take it, or leave it and just don't go at all. I'm not stepping down on this, and I shouldn't have to. I'm not putting up with the crappy attitude."
"I don't have an attitude." Mari mumbles, zipping Claire's diaper bag up.
"Yes, you do. You've had one since you've been here. Me and you have never argued or bickered until you got here, and it's not because I'm the one walking around picking fights with people. It's like you're not comfortable unless someone's arguing with you over something dumb."
"Of course you think that. Whereas perfect cousin Emily does no wrong." Marisela snaps, snatching the bedroom door open.
"Just two days ago I had to convince you that Sam wasn't the one solely to blame for everything that went to pot in his relationship with Leah. But now you're saying I think I do nothing wrong? Me being perfect is the picture you've painted in your own mind, Marisela, that's not on me." Emily states, keeping her voice calm to not make her niece think something's not right. "I'm taking Claire back to her mom, and then we're talking."
"You'll just go out there and get Sam involved so you don't have to be the bad guy." Mari remarks.
"Okay, screw it, you're not going anywhere tonight." Emily says sternly as Claire starts to get fussy.
"Of course I'm not. How else would you force me into accepting that you're in charge? That's why you and mom have gotten along all these years. You're both—"
"Claire Bear!" I hear the baby's mother say cheerfully after opening the door, immediately stopping Marisela and Emily's argument. "Are you ready for your bath?" She asks her next, and I hear Claire's excited noise of her feet kicking together before her mother lets out an exaggerated groan from Emily passing the baby to her.
"Here's her stuff." Mari says, handing off the diaper bag.
They say their 'good-bye's, Emily agreeing to keep Claire next weekend while her sister and brother-in-law go out of town, and once again Emily and Marisela are alone.
"Huh, you're gonna have to go an entire two days without starting a argument in the house since Claire's gonna be there. How will you possibly survive?" Emily comments, sarcastically.
I decide if I don't interrupt now, they'll just keep going at it until it escalates and more people will get involved, so I open the door and head down the hall, the two of them looking at me, probably embarrassed that I've heard them.
Em looks at me as if she's also sick and tired of having very little peace lately.
"I'm done talking to you, right now." Emily says to her.
"Thank God." Marisela scoffs, not even giving me or her cousin a second glance before pulling the door open and slamming it shut as she leaves.
I feel as though I'm about to have to plant my feet into the hard wood floor to keep from going after her.
Even knowing she's in the wrong doesn't kick away the urge to make her feel better and try to fix whatever it is that's gotten her so upset to the point she's lashing out.
Emily lets out a deep breath of relief, pulling me back to the moment, bracing herself against the counter before putting her head down on it, burying her face in her folded arms.
"Paul, I don't think I can do this." She admits to me. "I thought I was doing the right thing by agreeing to let her come for the summer but she's been here for almost a week and my brain is absolutely fried from just the waves of turmoil she just throws around like candy. It's like she freaking thrives off of it." She stands back up, tilting her head back to keep the tears in her eyes from falling down her face. "I just think she needs to go back home. She can't be like this around you guys. She'll end up gutted like a fish."
I get an image in my head that makes me cringe, but also makes my heart tense at the thought of it.
"I'm sorry, Em." I say it as steady as I can.
"No, I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed." Her voice cracks.
"I can talk to her, if you want me to." I already plan on it, anyway, the next time I can get her alone, and Emily looks at me, those years finally breaking her lashes.
"I know what happened. Sam told me." She informs me, and I feel the color drain from my face momentarily. "I'm not so sure how good of an idea it is for someone who loves to push buttons, to be with someone who gets his buttons pushed easily." She adds. "I don't think whatever causes imprinting takes things like that into consideration."
"We might not even be together. Ever. It might be a 'just friends' thing." I add to try to make her feel better.
I'm not sure it works, the corners of her mouth pulled down with a frown before she takes in a breath and says, "She can't go tonight."
"That's okay." I assure her. "There's all summer to show her around."
"Yeah, I guess..." She mumbles just as the door opens once again, Sam standing in the doorway.
"There you are." His face lights up in joy before he realizes she's not happy, his brows furrowing in concern as he steps to her. "Hey, what's going on?" He whispers, worried, and she starts tearing up again.
I just give her a sad smile before stepping to the door to give them privacy.
When I get back outside the sun's already setting, and I'm heading towards dad's truck to grab my phone I'd left in it, seeing there's still a chunk of our tribe that are still hanging out, socializing while their food digests. Once I shut the door back, I glance around to see if I can spot Mari, but the sound of smacking infiltrates my ears and I'm looking to my right to see Jared standing beside me, chowing down on another piece of chocolate cake.
"She just left. My mom's taking her home." He tells me. "I thought you guys were going to her old place?" He adds.
"She got into it with Emily, and Em said she couldn't go." I shrug.
"Oh, damn..." He sighs, patting my back. "Maybe next time."
"Emily said she couldn't go. Not Sam." I scoff out quietly, knowing Sam isn't even paying attention to try to hear what I'm saying all the way out here.
"...No." Jared shakes his head despite his own nervous smile. "You'll get your ass stomped, dude." He whispers. "What about patrol?"
"Cover for me." I nudge him.
"The fuck am I supposed to say?!"
"Get creative, I don't know."
"You realize you're blowing us off for a chick, right?"
"She wanted to go see her old house tonight so I'm gonna make it happen. Hopefully it'll make her happy enough that she'll stop being in a mood so much because at this point Emily's gonna ship her right back to her mom, and I don't necessarily want that." I explains.
"Okay, what the hell happened to do the dude that was making himself sick because he was so repulsed with who he's been paired with for the rest of his life? Have you seen the light, or something?"
"Maybe." I look at my phone to see it's nearly 8:00p.m.
"You know you're gonna get caught and me and you are both gonna die, right?" He asks next.
"Oh, for sure. Just stall him as best as you can." I pat his shoulder before heading for the woods, hearing him call,"wha—Paul, c'mon, man!" at me as I disappear into the tree line.