Chapter 29

'So, what? You're never gonna talk to her? You hate your mother that much?' Luke shook his head, passing Jess a hot cup of tea.

'I don't hate my mother.' He said begrudgingly.

He felt ridiculous in Luke's oversized clothes. His underwear was still wet and his hair was drying in tangled clumps, but he took the tea anyway. At least they'd finally stopped bickering about his fight with Kirk. That whole absurdity was embarrassing enough as it was and Luke witnessing made it even more so. The only good thing to come out of it was that he definitely felt calmer than he had all day. Either the water or all the punching and yelling had absorbed his frustration. He vaguely wondered if he should start pushing himself into large bodies of water if it worked this well.

Of course, Luke had also visibly cooled down. If he didn't know any better, Jess might even say his uncle had looked a little guilty for getting him all wet. He'd even made a big deal out of checking his face and arms for bruises, before Jess had swatted his arms away with an eye roll and a snarky remark.

Now, it was surreal to see his old bed in this old apartment. Luke must've made the bed and changed the sheets after he'd left because it definitely wasn't as messy as he'd left it. In fact, the apartment was bigger than he remembered and he felt a pang of emotion in his chest. Pain? Guilt? He tried to push it down for the moment.

'Coulda fooled me.' His uncle sighed. 'You barely talk to her. How long's it been? Weeks? Months?'

He looked down at the hot liquid in front of him. 'It's complicated.'

'She's not some monster, Jess.'

The tea stung Jess's tongue, as he said. 'I know that.'

'She misses you.'

'What did she say?' He asked, then scowled at his voice, regretting his words. Why did he suddenly sound like he was five?

'That you could come home if you want and that she was glad you're getting your GED.'

He shook his head. His uncle was such a bad liar. 'Is that what she said? Was that before or after Caesar called you an ambulance for brain damage?'

He gave him a displeased look, then sighed. 'Maybe those weren't her exact words. But I'm sure that's what she's thinking.'

He scoffed. 'It's not.'

'Jess.'

'Not unless she's got brain damage, in which case, you two can share a room here in looney town.'

'Jess.' His uncle looked tired.

'You know I have nothing to say to her, right?'

'I know she's gonna be just thrilled to hear you're goin' around punching guys instead of just answering her calls.'

He snorted. 'Trust me, unless it's that boyfriend of hers, I doubt she'll care.'

Luke's expression softened and his shoulders slumped. 'He left. He left her weeks ago.' His uncle paused, waiting for him to react, but Jess couldn't quite muster a reaction. He sloshed the red-brown liquid around in his cup.

What was he supposed to say? Good? Finally? About time? Two years ago, he would've gloated and possibly celebrated. But now, he felt no satisfaction, only numbness. The news hardly changed anything.

Luke continued. 'You can let this grudge of yours go now. Your mom's lonely. She misses you and she wants you to call.'

'I'm sure she's fine.' Jess said quietly. It was a lie. If anything, knowing Liz, he was sure she was anything but fine. Selfish as it was, he was almost glad he wasn't there for it. The thought left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, like bile.

'I'm sure she is too, but you still need to call her. You know how she gets.' Luke held his eye pointedly for a moment.

It wasn't his fault though. Did Luke think it was? Was it? No, it's not like he could stop the drinking even if he still lived with Liz. It was just part of the cycle his mother went through. Didn't Luke know that? Or was there something else Jess didn't know about?

'Why can't you just stay out of this?' Jess asked again, but there was no force in his voice this time, only a weak submission.

His uncle lifted himself out of his chair, recognizing that the conversation was over. 'Your burger's still downstairs. I'll wrap it up for you.'

He hung his head and sighed, watching his uncle walk away.

'Oh, and I hope you're happy now that you gave Kirk something to bitch about for the next three decades. Can't wait to see how Lorelai deals with this.' He could hear Luke chuckling, as he adjusted his baseball hat, leaving the door wide open behind him.

When Jess returned to the Gilmore house, there were several clues that something was wrong. The house was dark. Music was blaring from upstairs, from Lorelai's room, while heavy thuds were coming out of Rory's.

'I'm reorganizing my books.' Rory said, not looking up even as he stepped into her room. She wasn't reorganizing so much as tossing books with unnecessary force into piles. It seemed that the frenzy had been going on for some time, because her room was messier than he'd ever seen it.

It seemed she'd tried and abandoned reorganizing clothes, shoes and CDs. Even getting to her was hard with all the stuff spilled on the floor. Jess didn't really care about the mess, but he was concerned that Rory wasn't more fazed by it. He was also concerned that her face looked red, tears streaks were visible across her cheek.

'Rory?'

He was only rewarded with the sullen toss of a few CDs in the general direction of the window.

'Hey, are you okay?' He tried again.

'I'm fine.' More CD tossing. One of the CD cases cracked as it slammed against the corner of her desk.

'Did you fight with Lorelai?' He asked carefully.

Rory glared at him. 'I don't wanna talk about it.'

He nodded slowly. He knew the feeling too well. 'Okay.'

She sniffed, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand, then glanced at him curiously. 'What are you wearing?'

'Luke gave me his shirt after he pushed me in the lake.'

The corners of her lips lifted. 'Again?'

'Yep.' He stared at his reflection in the mirror on her dresser as he tried to arrange his awful-looking damp hair. He wondered whether he should tell her everything else that happened. He'd held the phone on the way back for what had felt like hours, shifting it between his hands with sweaty palms, contemplating whether or not to call Liz before he'd snapped it shut and switched it off. What would Rory say about that? That he should've called her? Or that he was right not to? He wanted to ask her, but if she knew the whole story, would she, like Luke, think it was his fault too?

But Rory wasn't paying much attention to him. She'd moved on to violent book tossing, as some books ended up to the left and some to the right of the bed. The fight must've been bad.

Lorelai must've finally told her about her grandmother, but had that upset her this much? Or was this something else about Yale? Or about the trip to Europe? Jess had no clue, though he had the sinking feeling it was probably about him.

'I know you knew.' She said emotionlessly.

'What?'

She dropped the books in her hand, turning to face him. 'What the hell, Jess? About my grandmother. You knew!'

'Rory, come on … Your mom, she–'

'Oh yeah, she told me. You took my mom's side in this! I can't believe you!'

'She told me not to say anything. I thought she was gonna tell you.' He defended.

'Oh, so now you do what she tells you?'

'I didn't think it was a big deal, so what if your –'

She cut him off. 'Of course, it was a big deal! We should've been doing damage control! We should've called my grandmother the very next day she found out! We should've explained the situation and you should've met my grandpa and then maybe they wouldn't think –'

'Who cares what they're gonna think?'

'They're my grandparents!'

'You're freaking out 'cause they found out you're having sex. Big deal!'

'That's not what this is about. You lied to me!' She paced away to the opposite corner of the room.

'I didn't lie to you. I never do, Rory. I was going to tell you. And it shouldn't even matter what they know! Just… screw them. I'm here and we're together and they don't get a say in that. What do they even care?'

'They said they want me to move to their house.' She looked away, her fingers picking at the desk next to her.

'What? You talked to them?' He furrowed his brows. It must've happened that afternoon, after he stormed off.

She shrugged. 'I had no reason not to.'

'But you're not actually moving in with them though, right?' He asked.

'I don't know.' She said, her face crumpling.

'Rory…' He stepped closer, sidestepping the piles of books and CDs on the floor.

'No.' She finally said, sniffing. 'I… I'm not going. I just really hate this.'

'What else did they say? That they want me out? Is that what this is about?' He asked incredulously.

She groaned. 'Not everything in my life's about you, Jess!'

'What else are they gonna do then? Call the propriety police? I think we can stand up to them if it comes to that.'

She crossed her arms, looking away. 'Well, it's a little hard to do that when my grandmother knows you as the gangster who showed up to her dinner with a black eye.'

'So you want me to meet her again? Is that it?'

'No, it's too late for that. It's not gonna help.' She snapped, making it sound like it was his fault.

He snapped back. 'I guess maybe you need to grow a backbone and tell them off then, Rory.'

Her eyes flashed. 'Well, I'm sorry I can't just put on a leather jacket and scream at them to go screw themselves! I'm not like you!'

'I'm not asking you to be!' He was already regretting the words, wondering why this fight just wasn't just ending already.

'Isn't that why you and my mom felt like I couldn't handle it? Because I could never stand up for myself or fight if I had to?' She threw her arms up desperately.

'No, it's 'cause your mom was sure you'd freak out, which you are.'

'I'm freaking out because you didn't tell me! I had to find out from my grandmother! Do you know how humiliating that was?'

'Humiliating, huh?' He pursed his lips. She was humiliated. By him. Her words stung more than she knew.

'Or how long it took for me to even have a relationship with my grandparents? For them to accept me as a part of the family?'

He scoffed. 'Yeah, can't let dating a black-eyed gangster like me ruin that now, can we?'

She shook her head resolutely. 'No, no, don't make this about you! You know that's not what this is about.'

'So this is all just about this petty fight with your rich grandparents? Come on!'

'It's not petty. You don't know what happened!' Rory exclaimed.

'What it boils down to is that they found out you're having sex. You're eighteen. Big freaking deal, Rory! It's not like they're cutting you out of their will.' Wrong thing to say. Again. Why couldn't he say the thing that will calm her down and get them out of this loop?

She shook her head in frustration. 'It's just like you to start throwing insults the minute we start having a serious conversation!'

'What serious conversation? I don't even know what we're talking about at this point.'

'You're always avoiding things. You never tell me anything! Even if my mom hadn't asked you to, you still wouldn't have told me!' She was yelling.

'You're being dramatic and I'm not getting dragged into it.' He wanted the fight to stop because it hurt to see that she meant every word. It hurt and it scared him. He turned towards the door. It seemed that if he didn't leave, they'd never stop fighting.

'Dramatic?' The word made her even angrier. She followed him out, into the living room. 'What's next? Calling me hysterical?'

He winced. 'That's not what I said.'

'Is it because I wanna have a serious conversation for once? So anything other than movies and books and food and you'll storm off!' She was angrier than he'd ever seen her. Her hands waved at the living room, fleeting towards the door.

'Hey, that's not fair. Why are you picking a fight?'

'Ugh. You're impossible.' She groaned, waving at the door. 'Just get out!'

'I was leaving anyway.' He made his way towards the door. He'd done this so many times. In so many different versions of so many arguments in his life. But it rarely ever hurt like this.

'Fine. Go then!' Her voice broke off. She was either hoarse from all the yelling or crying. He didn't dare look back to find out which.

'Gladly!'

The door slammed shut behind him and the rushing in his ear filled the silence.

A/N: Please, please, don't forget to review if you're reading! (BTW, this is not the end yet.)