Summary: Feral tree begins first steps of courting ritual.
The sounds of footfall and light chatter marked the end of yet another successful Star Sanses meeting. Monsters, primarily Sanses and Papyruses, slowly flittered out the room. Very few stayed behind to ask questions or express concerns regarding universal threats.
Dream sat alone on his side of the table, skull propped up by his arms, which rested on the smooth wooden surface below his elbows. Not a single person disturbed him, as most were too busy talking the supposedly most knowledgable in their group: Ink, the Guardian of AUs.
Who also happened to be the skeleton the yellow-clad being's golden eyelights currently fixated on.
So fixated, in fact, he failed to notice Blue bounce up to him after waving goodbye to his brother.
"Heya, Dream!" He chirped, slipping into the neighboring seat. "What are you doing?"
Dream hummed, eyeing Ink a few more seconds before glancing toward him and answering, "Nothing much, just watching Ink. He's so confident when he is in his element."
Azure eyelights jumped back and forth between him and the artist, then their blue-armored owner smirked slyly.
"Does somebody have a crush?" He prodded in a sing-songy voice.
"What- No, I just like him as a friend..." The guardian instantly denied, only to have his eyelights drift back to the aforementioned skeleton as he murmured affectionately, "Even when he does that adorable thing where he gets paint all over his hands and smears it across his face."
"You do have a crush!" Blue gasped, eyelights morphing into twinkling stars.
"Blue..." Dream softly warned, nigh sighing in relief when Ink, unlike some of the other monsters in the room, ignored the Underswap Sans' outburst.
Luckily, however, they didn't appear to have any intentions of inquiring about it since they - alongside the last few monsters in the room, barring the duo seated at the table - left.
Unfortunately, taking Ink along with them.
His half-second of mourning the artist's departure got interrupted by Blue excitedly proclaiming, "You should ask him to be your boyfriend!"
The yellow-clad skeleton's expression shifted, brows furrowing while a thoughtful frown tugged down the corners of his mouth. "Hmm... You think so?"
"Yeah, you two would be so cute together!"
He pondered the idea for a moment, eventually straightening confidently and declaring, "You know what, I think I will! It's about time I shifted my focus away from my brother and settled down with a nice skeleton."
"That's the spirit!" Blue cheered.
Alas, his glee was fleeting, for when Red walked through the meeting room's door, barely able to open his jaws to greet them, Dream lunged across the table and tackled him to the ground. All the while, holding a magically summoned knife to his throat.
"Wait- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Blue shrieked, jumping from his chair with enough force to send it flying backward.
"Yeah, sunbeam. What the heck?!" The Underfell Sans growled.
Dream merely pushed the sharp edge of his blade further against Red's vertebra, causing crimson marrow to bead from the subsequent wound. "In order to prove my worth to my prospective mate, I must demonstrate my many prowesses and bring this land to its knees so it may never defy us." He pushed off the other and made way for the exit. "Though, defeating someone as weak as you will not earn me much credit."
Blue shouted after him, "Dream, no! Things don't work like that here; there are other ways - that don't involve assaulting/enslaving people - to show romantic interest!"
The words went unheeded as the Guardian of Positivity vanished behind the door and into the hallway. Startled screams followed by an ear-piercing war cry that simultaneously sounded like an eldritch horror and a rustling tree in a hurricane soon echoed beyond.
Blue grimaced. "Egh... Shoot, we have to go after him."
Red, however, was too lost in a sudden revelation to care.
"Hold on a second..." He started. "Does that mean Nightmare's been trying to get laid this whole time?! After everything, the fights, terror, and destruction, all we have to do is hook him up with a nice piece of bone to fuc-"
Blue teleported beside him and slapped a hand over his pointed jaws, causing him to freeze up in surprise. Then shrink away slightly at the subsequent glower he received.
"Red, you can shut up now." The Underswap Sans stated.