Hi, friends! Hope you're all doing well. I'll keep this short and sweet today because I'm so exhausted right now I can barely hold my eyes open: thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and favoriting and following - and extra huge, special thank you to everyone leaving reviews because they make my day. I hope you enjoy chapter 11!

Chapter Eleven

Anna

After watching Paul shift into a wolf, I didn't see him for three whole days. If not for seeing Felicity every day at school, I'd have thought I imagined the entire thing.

But she'd apparently been holding back a lot when she chattered at me before because she had so much to say pertaining to the wolves in the midst of everything. How worried she was about their safety. How concerned she was about Jacob dealing with Bella Swan now being an enemy. How scared she was for her own safety—and mine because I was being pulled into everything now too. How she felt guilty for all those feelings because she truly adored Jacob and Paul was an amazing friend.

Felicity had a lot to say, and though there was still much I didn't quite understand I was mostly quiet as I gave her a listening ear. That was what she needed. She didn't need someone to explain away her thoughts or address her concerns. She just needed to vent—and someone to listen while she did.

Once I understood this, I felt better about the stability of our friendship. Listening was my strong suit. It was when I needed to start and lead actual conversations that things got tricky. But listening and giving reassuring nods? I could handle that.

As the days passed with no Paul, however, I doubted whatever was supposed to be happening with him more and more. Though Felicity said the pack was dealing with new problems the Cullen family presented, I still lost stock in the idea that I was important to Paul.

Not that this was hard considering I'd never really let myself believe it, anyway.

But that didn't stop him from taking over the forefront of my thoughts most of the time. By Friday afternoon, it was getting annoying. So what if Paul didn't want to see me? If he'd been exaggerating how he saw me for whatever reason? I'd been fine without him before, and I could be fine without him now. Heck, I'd be better than before because now I at least had Felicity as a friend. That was one more than I'd had back in Colorado.

Home after parting ways with her a few minutes before, I decided I could use a distraction. "Hey, Alex," I called to my brother who was puttering around in the kitchen.

"Yeah?" he said, though his focus was more on the sandwich he was throwing together than me.

"Why don't we go visit Grandpa?" I suggested, thinking that it was the perfect way to get my mind off him. Our grandfather was awesome. Funny and kind. He'd been having a hard time since our grandmother died, which was why the family had uprooted to Forks in the first place, but he'd been a hoot when we went over there for Easter.

Alex popped his head around the corner, a sandwich raised to his mouth. "I don't know; I think mom's there," he said, then took a huge bite of his sandwich before ducking back into the kitchen to hopefully clean up his mess.

I got up from the couch and went to stand in the doorway as he quickly tucked away his ingredients. "Shouldn't she be at work?" Mom was a bookkeeper at a local restaurant, and while it wasn't full-time I found it off she was spending so little time at the restaurant and so much time apparently with Grandpa.

He shook his head. "No, she worked this morning. That's why I'm having a sandwich. Mom said she was probably going to stop over to see Gramps this afternoon and Dad would bring something home for dinner if she was late. Obviously, she's late, so…" he trailed off with a shrug.

"Is it just me or is it weird that Mom is spending so much time with Grandpa when we've only gotten to see him a couple of times since we moved here?" I asked, pursing my lips. I had a bad feeling about this.

My brother's face was solemn. "Definitely not just you. We were supposed to move here so we could all keep him more company."

"But it seems like they're trying to limit how much time we spend with him," I added.

Alex nodded. "I'm kind of scared to ask why," he admitted.

"Yeah." My stomach churned as I thought of my awesome yet frail grandfather. He had been having a hard time since his wife died, but I thought it was mainly grief. Which was tough but could heal over time. What if there was something more?

"Hey," Alex said, reaching out to nudge my shoulder. "Don't get worked up over what it might be. We could be overreacting. We don't really know what's up."

I bit my lip. "Should we try to ask?"

"Well—" Alex started, but was interrupted by his phone ringing. "It's Dad," he said as he clicked the screen and put it on speaker. "Hey."

"Hey, Al, I'm leaving work now. I'm going to stop and grab some fried chicken on the way home. Is that okay? Ask your sister too."

My brother swallowed another bite of his sandwich. "You're on speaker. Annie can hear you."

"Hi, Dad," I said.

"Hi, sweetheart," Dad said, his voice warm. My parents weren't perfect, but they definitely loved me. I smiled. "Chicken good for you? I should be home with it in about an hour. I'm dropping some off for your mother at Grandpa's too."

And the worry for my grandfather was back. "Okay."

My brother's eyes flashed at me while my father asked, "You alright? You sound off."

Of course he could tell with only one word. My family knew me and my anxiety better than anyone. Though it seemed like Paul was starting to catch on a little bit… I pushed thoughts of him away and tried to focus on sounding normal when I responded, "I'm fine."

Alex sighed. "She's alright, Dad. We were just talking about Gramps. She's worried." He paused. Then he went for it. "We both kind of are. We haven't gotten to see him much since we moved here. Is he okay?"

Dad was silent on the other end of the line for a few moments. "He's having a hard time, but we all knew that. It's nothing for you kids to worry about. Relax, and I'll be home in about an hour. You hear that, Annie? Relax."

I huffed out a breath at him singling me out, but he wasn't wrong—I was so tense. My heart was beating extra fast. "I'll try."

"Good," he said, knowing that was the best he was going to get out of me. It was all I could truthfully promise. "See you soon. Love you two."

"Love you," I said while Alex said, "Later," then hung up. He looked at me. "Well. Fuck."

I snorted, but there was no humor in it. "Confirmed." There was definitely more going on than our parents wanted us to know. Our parents were so protective, and it sometimes showed in odd ways. Like now, where they were keeping secrets so we wouldn't get upset but doing such a terrible job at actually being secretive that we were worried anyway.

"You know how they are, though," Alex said, resigned as he walked to the sink to wash his hands, since he was now done with his sandwich. "They're going to keep dancing around the truth until they have no choice but to tell us."

I rubbed my stomach, already anticipating how the uncertainty was going to make me feel. "I wish they could realize it doesn't help me at all to leave me wondering."

Alex's jaw hardened. "I wish they'd realize you need more help than some deep breathing and kind words, but who am I to have a say?"

My shoulders tensed even more. "Al…"

He waved his hand. "Not on you, Annie, so don't get worked up. Not mad at you at all."

"But you're mad at them?"

He ran a hand through his hair, leaning against the counter. "Sometimes. I get that they do what they think is best. I just wish they'd have more open minds when making that decision, you know?"

"Yeah," I said, because I did know. I knew better than anyone. My parents had taken me to get help for my anxiety a few years prior, but had decided against any sort of medicine for me. They'd reasoned that I was too young. And at the time I'd accepted it because I was seeing someone who helped teach me coping mechanisms and since things were so bad for me at the time—I'd have panic attacks more days than not—there had been improvement. But then my improvement had plateaued. I still felt sick often. Breathing could be difficult. I shook a lot. My mind had a tendency to spiral. But my parents continued to refuse, and since the therapy wasn't helping, I'd asked my parents if I could at least end it to take that pressure off me, and they'd agreed.

Now, a couple of years later, I struggled daily. Some days were worse than others, largely depending on what was happening, where I was, who I was with. But I knew it sucked for Alex to see it.

"You're a good brother, you know?" I said as there was a knock on the door.

Alex rolled his eyes on his way to answer it. "I'm adequate."

I laughed quietly as I went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Turning around, I saw Alex in the kitchen doorway. "There's someone at the door for you."

My brow furrowed. "For me?" I'd seen Felicity earlier and she'd mentioned spending time with Jacob tonight. There was no one else I could think of who'd show up to see me…well. I could think of one person. But I didn't believe it.

"Yes, you. Now go."

I made my way to the front door, my heart racing the whole time. Despite myself, I kind of hoped it was him. After days of nothing, I had no reason to believe it would be—but my rapidly beating heart and butterfly-filled stomach weren't on board with that rationality.

Surprisingly, thankfully, amazingly…they weren't disappointed.

"Hey, Anna," Paul said with a smile when I opened the door to see him waiting out in the hall. His face seemed drawn, like he was extra tired, but no less beautiful. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Um…" I mumbled, glancing behind me where sure enough Alex was not even trying to pretend he wasn't eavesdropping. "Um, yeah. Yeah." I nodded, then stepped out to join him in the hallway, pulling the door closed behind me. I led him a little way down, toward his apartment, to make it slightly tougher for Alex to hear when he pressed his ear to the door.

Paul was still smiling as he followed, watching me with warm eyes the whole time. "It's so nice to see you. Sorry I haven't been around much." He paused. "Well, I've been around. But you haven't seen me. Sorry about that. Things are just…complicated right now."

I shrugged. "It's okay."

He shook his head. "No, it's not. I told you that you're important to me and it was not a lie. Me disappearing for 74 hours doesn't help me prove it or you believe it. And I know you're having trouble believing it. I get that. But I guess I'll just have to not mess up anymore. For now, though, I'm sorry."

My mind was spinning—at the sincerity in his words, at the mix of emotions on his face, at what he was saying and what it meant—but I latched onto one thing. "74 hours?"

"74 hours." He sighed. "It sucked."

I giggled. "So not just three days, but 74 hours. You counted them."

"I was here, there, and everywhere but I never got to stop by and even say hi to you. It was terrible. So yeah, I counted." He grinned. "I've been keeping track of all kinds of stuff since I met you."

That wiped the smile off my face. "I don't think I want to know what."

He laughed. "Nothing bad. How long I go without seeing you, for one. That you are often unsettled, but you get extra nervous around new people, two. That you appreciate crunchy snacks, three. I could keep going."

While it was awkward hearing him so casually point out my anxiety, I appreciated that he didn't shy away from it or act like it was negative. It was simply something he'd noticed about me, like everything else. "Is this some kind of wolf thing?" I kept my voice low.

"It's a Paul thing," he said. "Or, more specifically, it's a Paul-plus-Anna thing."

I crossed my arms over my chest, unsure what was the right thing to say. I let my mouth take over, trying not to over-think. "That could be creepy."

His brows went up. "Could be creepy? That's an improvement, I'd say."

"Still stalkerish," I added. "But…" I trailed off, then decided to go for it. "But maybe I'm starting to like it."

Did I think he'd been grinning before? His smile was so wide he was almost baring his teeth at me now. "Perfect! Speaking of perfect, I wanted to invite you to a bonfire down on the rez tomorrow."

I blinked. "The bonfire? What does that have to do with perfect?"

He winked. "I'm inviting you. You're the perfect."

"Shut up," I said, rolling my eyes.

Paul laughed again. He did that a lot. I wondered what it was like to be so openly happy all the time. Or if I'd ever get to the point where I could experience that for myself. "And yes," Paul said, drawing me out of my heavy thoughts, "the bonfire."

"Well, if it's the bonfire," I responded, determined not to let myself fall into bad thoughts and drag this conversation downhill. "I guess I'll go."

"You guess?" Paul scoffed. "You're practically drooling at the idea of spending time with this piece of perfection." He gestured at himself.

I tilted my head to the side. "I thought I was the perfect here."

"Don't be greedy, Anna. There's enough perfect for the both of us."

"So we're just the most perfect couple then," I said, then slapped my hand over my face as I immediately regretted it. This was why I didn't let myself speak without carefully considering my words. I had a tendency to say the stupidest things. "Sorry," I muttered, hand still covering my shame. "That was dumb."

Paul's hand locked around my wrist, gently pulling my arm down. Instead of letting my hand fall back to my side, he linked our fingers together. "I liked it," he told me, his tone earnest. "And you've experienced firsthand me saying something not only stupid but cruel. Plus, I say regular, run-of-the-mill dumb shit all the time. Just another thing that makes us a perfect couple."

"Okay," I said, my voice trembling. "I'll definitely go to that bonfire, then."

He squeezed my fingers. "And while we're here and things are going in my favor, I was wondering if maybe we could hang out sometime?"

"Hang out?" I asked, frazzled.

He smiled. "Well, I'm trying to be sly about asking you on a date, but if you're going to be skeptical, I might as well call a spade a spade. I want to spend time together, me and you alone. Some perfect couple bonding time, if you will."

I bit my lip. "I don't know…"

"What's wrong?" he asked, eager. "Let's fix whatever is making you unsure right now. We've got this."

A breathless laugh fell out of my mouth. "I'm nervous."

He nodded. "Okay, we can handle that. Nervous about what?"

I widened my eyes. "Literally everything. Going somewhere. Being around people. Messing up whatever we do. Saying the wrong thing. Making a fool of myself. Making you hate me." That last one was especially hard to admit out loud. "I could go on."

"We don't have to go somewhere where we're around people. We could hang out at my apartment. Felicity can go to La Push or something. She's got other places she can be, so it'll only be the two of us. So that takes care of two. Messing up whatever we do…" He rubbed his free hand on his chin in thought. "I mean, I don't know what we'll do yet but I know I couldn't give two flying…fudges…if you mess up. So that should hopefully alleviate some of your worry. Same goes for saying the wrong thing, honestly. Not a single thing you say could be wrong. I always want to hear what you have to say no matter what. As for making a fool of yourself—Anna. I am the biggest fool there is. Trust me. And me hating you? Anna." He stopped, staring at me.

Self-conscious as I processed all he was saying, I shifted from foot to foot. "What?"

His thumb stroked the back of my hand soothingly. "Do you really think there's any way on this earth that I could hate you? Because let me tell you that's never, ever, ever, ever going to happen. It's impossible."

I snorted. "That's what you think now. Oh, and you said fudges instead of fuck, and that was unnecessary. I've heard cuss words before. You don't have to always sensor yourself around me. You even let the word shit slip in earlier and I survived it."

"It's a sign of respect," he said. "I respect you more than anyone else, so you're the only person I don't swear around."

I found that hard to believe. "What about small children?"

He smirked. "Parents hate me because I've got a potty mouth and tend to unintentionally teach kids their first bad word."

My lips twitched. "That's kind of funny."

"Oh, it's very funny," he agreed. "But it's not what we're talking about right now. We're talking about you and what makes you unsettled about the idea of us dating. I addressed each of your points. Any questions or further concerns?"

Now I had trouble meeting his eyes. "It's nice you're so eager to put me at ease, but just because you gave me reasons not to worry doesn't mean I won't. That's not how my brain works. I wish it did," I rushed to add. "You made great points. It was all very sweet. And kind. But I can't help it."

He ducked until he was in the line of my gaze, which was currently aimed at doorknob of an apartment behind him. "That's okay. Do you think me talking you through it like this will help you be less nervous, at least? Even a little?"

Oh my god, he continued to be so sweet. My heart felt like it was going to burst. "Yeah." I figured he deserved a little hope. "And the more time I spend with you, the more comfortable I get. Usually, at least."

He straightened, squeezing my fingers yet again in reassurance. "Good, good, that's good to know. Anything else?"

I looked up at him. He deserved honesty. "I feel like this is all too good to be true. It's hard to believe you could be saying all this stuff, being so kind, and mean it. I'm wary that you might be saying all the right things to make me trust you and then you'll take it all back once you get…whatever it is you want."

Paul's face hardened, and I tensed. I hadn't even noticed I'd relaxed a bit standing there with him, but now my body locked up tight. "I would never. Never, Anna. Never. Never deceive you like that. Never hurt you like that. Just imagining it hurts me." He pulled in a slow breath, his eyes falling closed. He held it for a moment. Then blew out slowly, clearly trying to calm himself. When he opened his eyes to look at me again, his gaze was back to warm. "I know those seem like empty words to you. There's nothing I can really do to prove them except give it time. You'll see I'm not going to hurt you. And you'll understand more tomorrow, too."

"To-tomorrow," I stuttered. They'd said the bonfire was going to be for sharing the legends of the Quileute tribe, and I'd gain more understanding of the shapeshifters that way. It was odd that Paul also thought I'd get reassurance about all he was promising.

"Yes," he said, a small smile on his lips. "Part of the legends is an explanation of why you got to know the secret in the first place. And spoiler alert." He leaned in close before whispering, "It has to do with me."

I was at a loss. For words, for thoughts, for breath. I was practically panting as we stared into each other's eyes.

We were suddenly snapped out of the moment when the door to the stairs opened down the hall, another tenant giving us a little side-eye as they ducked into their apartment. I stepped back, reality flooding into my brain. "I have to go," I said. "My dad will be home soon."

Paul frowned. "You don't want me to meet your dad?"

My eyes had to be the size of saucers. "That's not what I meant! I just…we're figuring things out, and it'd be awkward, and—"

He chuckled, squeezing my hand once more before letting go. I missed it right away. "I'm kidding. It's okay. How about I get your answer on that date tomorrow after the bonfire? You'll have time to think that way and more perspective on everything."

I sighed in relief. "Yes. Yes, that's perfect. Thank you."

He finger-gunned at me. "What'd I say? We're perfect."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Right. So where do I have to be and when tomorrow?"

"You can head over with me and Felicity, if you're okay with that? Around six?"

Nodding, I walked over to my door. "Sounds good." Then, because I got a strange burst of confidence, I asked, "You'll be there, right? You're not about to disappear for 74 hours now that you've seen me?"

Paul threw his head back and laughed. At that moment, I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen or heard in my life. Had I thought before that he was openly happy all the time? That was nothing compared to this showing of joy. If we ended up working out the way he was making it seem we would, I'd strive to make moments like this a regular occurrence.

"Yes, Anna, I will be there," he said between laughs. "Nothing in the world could keep me away."

A smile was fighting to take over my face, and I knew I was doing a terrible job at hiding it. "I'll hold you to that."

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