Hi, friends! I don't really have much to say here this time, so I'll just let you get to reading. Enjoy!

Chapter Fifteen

Anna

It was surreal going to school Monday morning as if my entire world hadn't changed even more over the weekend. We were closing in on the end of the school year, gearing up for finals and graduation, but none of that felt real anymore in the face of the people I knew that could turn into wolves and the one wolf in particular that was somehow linked to me.

Felicity's eagerness to befriend me made much more sense now. The rest of the school had known her as she went through her drama with her ex. They judged her. She couldn't make true friends with any of them because their minds weren't open enough to see her as Felicity, the person—they were caught up in Felicity, the divorced senior in high school who was disowned by her parents. And then she got imprinted on by Jacob and had no one to commiserate with in the ups and downs of her relationships and experiences and life in general. Even before I knew the secret and was in the fully know, it made sense for her to want a friend—so much so that she'd take what she could get. Me.

Whether or not I was a good option for her remained to be seen, but I felt grateful for the friendship nonetheless and told her so when I saw her. "I'm really glad we're friends," I said, uncertain how this would be received but still needing to say it.

She grinned, her eyes happy. "I'm glad, too. How are you handling everything? Anything I can help you work through?"

I shook my head. "No. I'm fine." I'd been bursting with questions before, but after the bonfire and talking with Paul enough was answered that I was content to let the information I had simmer in my mind. I was sure there was more, and I'd learn about it in due time as it came up, but for now I was good.

"Let me know if that changes," she said solemnly. "I know I tend to talk a lot, but if there's ever something on your mind, I will listen and try to help. I promise."

I gave her a grateful smile. "I know. And I appreciate it."

Her expression turned knowing. "Which is why you started our day with your rare show of affection."

Wringing my hands a little because I kind of wanted to move on from this topic now that I'd said what I needed to say and prolonging it was doing a number on my nerves, I shrugged.

Luckily I was saved by the class being called to attention so even if she'd wanted to continue the conversation, it was ended.

But then at lunch, where Alex did not join us because apparently he was back to his own new friends, she brought it back up. "So are you finally starting to understand that you do have friends? And that we think you're great even if you're quiet most of the time?"

"Felicity—" I started, unable to touch the sandwich in front of me I'd brought in hopes of eating today.

"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable," she said quickly. "Or put you on the spot. I just… Paul doesn't say much about what you two talk about. But he's said that he tries to be open and straightforward so you won't get too nervous. I was thinking maybe I could try the same? He kind of has an advantage of being your imprint but you've been such a good friend to be, and I want to try to do the same for you."

That was…one of the most caring things anyone had ever said to me. "I haven't done much," I said, because it was true. And it had been as much for my benefit as it had been hers. "It's not hard to listen when someone speaks."

She scoffed. "Trust me, it can be. It is for many people."

"You've been a good friend to me too, though. I've never thought you weren't caring about my feelings or anything."

She took a sip of her water, her eyes shifting for a moment before focusing back on me. I clasped my hands together in my lap because I knew whatever she was about to say was going to be a hit. "Are you really nervous all the time? Why? Did something…happen to you?"

I blinked. I didn't know what I was expecting her to say, but I definitely hadn't been prepared for that.

Felicity continued when I didn't respond. "And is it really nerves? It sounds weird to just be nervous all the time for no reason at all. Not that I'm judging you or anything, but I want to understand. I want to help. I want us to be good friends. And we can't get closer unless I know how to not make you nervous and uncomfortable all the time. I want us to be able to relax with each other and talk and laugh and have fun. In order to make that happen, I need to know what I'm working with."

How was I supposed to respond to this? Was this the time to tell her about my anxiety? My stomach turned at the idea. It hadn't felt this…heavy when I told Paul. Possibly because I blurted it out without thinking and didn't have time to consider the consequences. But now all I could do was think about how sharing this information would be received. How Felicity could and would likely act differently around me. Then again, she already knew something was wrong with me. Was I truly that obvious?

Yes. I was a mess. Of course Felicity, who spent time with me every day at school and had me at her house to hang out before and took me with her to her friends' house and had been at the bonfire with us, could see it. There was no way to hide it. So now the question was, would it help or hurt to open up to her?

"Anna?" Felicity asked, her expression concerned. "Are you okay?"

I didn't feel okay. My stomach was turning. My hands were shaking. "I—I…" I could either share with her and open up the possibility of finally having a best friend, no secrets…or I could deflect and drag this on even longer and possibly lose this person who cared enough to go out on a limb and ask. The one person in a long time who sought me out and put effort into being my friend and paid enough attention to notice that I wasn't okay most of the time.

I cleared my throat, not quite able to meet her eyes. But I quietly said, "I have anxiety."

There was a stretch of silence as she took in what I said and I freaked out internally anticipating her reaction.

Then she said, "That's it?"

Of all the things she could have said, I'd never have expected that. "Is it…is it not enough?" What had she wanted me to say? Anxiety wasn't anything to sneeze at. It practically ruled my life. There were days I thought I was lucky I lasted as long as I had living with the way I felt day in and day out.

Her eyes widened and she rushed to say, "Oh, no. No, no, that's not what I meant! I'm not doubting that it's hard for you or anything like that. I just thought—well, it doesn't matter what I thought—"

"What did you think?" I couldn't help but ask.

She forced a small laugh. "I thought…well, I was worried there was something seriously wrong with you or something. Like, something incurable that made you pull away or hold back from people. Or maybe that you were severely agoraphobic? I'm not entirely sure."

Slowly, my brain began to process what she'd just said. Something seriously wrong with you. As if anxiety eating away at my insides all day every day wasn't a big deal. Something incurable, as if I wouldn't cure my anxiety if I could. If getting over it was as easy as that, I'd have done it years ago. I looked down at the untouched sandwich in front of me—that I hadn't been able to take even a bite of because my stomach couldn't handle it. "Oh," was all I could say.

"Are you okay?" she asked, but I couldn't meet her gaze. "Are you getting help?"

My eyes slammed closed. Help. Right. This was a bad idea. I knew Felicity wasn't trying to be hurtful, that she didn't know how much she didn't understand and I needed to be patient with her, but I couldn't do this. Not right now. Maybe not ever. Definitely not right here in the few minutes that were left of lunch. "I need to go."

"What?" Her voice was surprised. "Anna, talk to me. I won't judge. I want to help."

Little did she know that her words had already colored this whole conversation with judgment. With expectation of what I should have been doing, and I couldn't handle walking her through the differences in what she expected and the reality of my life. "Later," I lied.

Then I all but ran out of the lunchroom, making sure to drop my sandwich in the trash on my way.

Paul

I hadn't been home since talking to Anna Sunday night. First I'd gone to Emily's house to shovel some sustenance in my mouth before rushing out to take over patrol. Then we'd had our midnight meeting with the leeches to train for fighting the army of newly made vampires the redhead was planning to attack with. Then it was back to Emily's for some breakfast before another patrol. It was nearing dinnertime when I finally dragged myself through the door to my apartment, but I was considering forgoing food for the first time ever and just taking a good long nap.

The expression on Felicity's face stopped me in my tracks, however.

"What's wrong, doll?" I asked, vaguely wondering where Jacob was if Felicity was sad. Wasn't it a wolf's job to soothe their imprint when they were upset? How long had she been here alone looking on the verge of tears? "Whose ass do I have to kick?"

She laughed a little, but it sounded as unhappy as she looked. "You're about to wish you hadn't said that."

Now I straightened. "Why? Did something happen to Anna? Is she okay?" My body tensed, ready to head for the door if she indicated Anna needed me.

"She's fine, Paulie," Felicity said with a sigh. "But I messed up."

I wasn't so sure Anna was fine if something had happened that had Felicity this upset, but I would need to hear the situation before I could really decide on a course of action, so I sat down on the comfy chair. "I'm going to need more detail than that, doll. How did you mess up? You're probably just being hard on yourself." She hadn't yet confirmed that this had to do with Anna, but I figured it was. And Felicity and Anna seemed to have a good friendship. It worked for them. So I couldn't picture Felicity messing it up in some way that was beyond repair.

She ran a hand through her hair, slumping back in her seat on the couch. "I'm really not. I wish I was."

"You're going to kill me with suspense," I said, forcing my tone to remain light even though I was getting tense again with concern. "Spit it out, doll."

"So I was talking to Anna, right?" she started, and I nodded—not that she looked at me to even notice. "It was lunch. Earlier in the day we'd had a good talk about how we're glad to be friends and have each other. It was nice. And Anna had started it. She wanted to let me know she appreciated me. So I thought I could share the sentiment, but take it a step further too. Put forth effort into being a super great friend because she'd been so good to me. I wanted her to know I was here for her if she needed anything, and that I wanted to put an effort into making sure she was as comfortable as possible around me. You know how she gets so nervous, Paul."

Now she looked at me for confirmation, so I nodded again as a sinking feeling started in my stomach. I could imagine where this was going, and if the conversation didn't end well…

"And I let her know there was no pressure, but I asked her…I asked her if her problem was really nerves. Or if it was something else. Because I needed to know what I was working with in order to be the best friend I could be."

Felicity stopped there, and my skin was crawling with discomfort. While she was coming from a good place, it wasn't the most tactful way to approach the subject. If I was uncomfortable just hearing about it, I could only imagine how Anna must have felt. "Did she answer you?"

She peeked over at me, shifting in her seat. "I don't want to share if you don't know yet. It's not my place."

Her respect gave me a glimmer of hope. "I already know. She told me before the bonfire."

Felicity studied me for a moment, to determine the truthfulness of my words most likely. But I'd never lie about this. Not about Anna. She deserved better. "She told me she has anxiety."

"Right," I said right away, nodding. "And how did you react to that?"

Her hand rose to her mouth as she bit at one of her nails. "See, that's where I'm fairly certain I messed up."

"Fairly certain?"

"She left the lunchroom pretty quick after, and has been avoiding me ever since. And she didn't look too happy. I don't know if I made her mad or what, but I'm not even entirely sure what I did wrong." She huffed out a breath. "She'd need to talk to me so I could fix it."

"Right," I said, not really sure if I agreed because it sounded like she was in the wrong here—and even if she wasn't, I still would have wanted to take Anna's side. "But what did you say?"

She cringed. "I said, 'That's it?'" After letting that absurdity sink in for a moment, she continued in a rush, "And that's where she first seemed to start shutting down. So of course I started rambling because I didn't mean it the way it sounded. It's just that I thought it might have been something way worse, you know?" No. I didn't know. "And then she asked what I thought it might have been—and I'm pretty sure my answer to that made it even worse because I thought it was something incurable or possibly life-threatening or—or, I don't know! But I wasn't trying to be mean. And then I asked her if she was okay and if she was getting help, because there is help for that kind of stuff, and then she left. And now I think she's mad at me and I don't know how to fix it."

I took that all in for a moment, my anger rising but trying to keep a level head through it. My exhaustion didn't help. "Felicity…what the fuck?"

Even though she clearly felt guilty, clearly knew she was in the wrong here, she still had it in her to look surprised. "What?"

"She shared what she struggles with daily, and your response was that it isn't that bad?" I asked, incredulous.

She shook her head in denial. "No. No, that's not what I said or what I meant!"

"But you think it could be worse," I pressed.

"What was I supposed to say?" she asked, frustration coloring her tone. "Oh man, that sucks? I think trying to have a positive outlook on it, and ask about help—which is hopeful—wasn't so bad."

I stared at her, trying to fit what she was saying with the kind and caring friend I'd grown to know. "What do you know about anxiety?"

She threw her hands up with a sigh. "Not much, okay? But I know that lots of people have it and there are doctors who can help and medicine that can help and it doesn't have to be something hopeless."

My brow furrowed. "Who said Anna was hopeless?"

"No one, but that's kind of how she acts."

And there was my anger, rising yet again. "Did you even try to talk to her about it? Before you came to this conclusion?"

"She didn't let me!"

"Maybe because your first reaction didn't make her feel like she could."

Felicity rubbed her face. I didn't particularly want to make her more upset…but she was so wrong here and I couldn't take it. "I don't know what to say, Paul."

"So maybe you should say nothing," I suggested. "And when you talk to her next, let her share how she feels and her experiences and what she goes through before you jump to conclusions and cast judgments."

"I don't even know if she'll let me talk to her again," she said tearfully.

"I'm going to talk to her," I said, standing from my chair. Was I dead tired? Yes. But my imprint needed me. Sleep could wait.

"Will you tell her I'm sorry for whatever I did?" Felicity asked.

I watched her for a moment, then shook my head. "No. I don't think you understand enough yet to really be sorry, and I refuse to lie to my imprint."

"Paul!" Felicity exclaimed.

"You can tell her yourself," I said as consolation. "But first you need to take some time to get over whatever you think you already know that made you jump to conclusions with her. Maybe do some actual research. That way when you do get the chance to talk to her again, you don't have to put your foot in your mouth."

Her gaze fell to the floor in front of her and color rose in her cheeks. "I'm already willing to listen to what Anna has to say. I didn't mean to scare her off in the first place."

"That's good," I said on my way to the door. "It's a good start."

I knocked on Anna's door nervous about whether she'd be willing to see me. If she felt like Felicity wasn't trying to understand her, I hoped she didn't think I was the same.

But then the door opened and Anna's sweet face peered up at me. Before I could say anything, she grabbed my shirt and pulled me forward into the apartment, slamming the door shut behind me. We stood close, our bodies nearly touching, and stared at each other.

Then she wrapped her arms around me, pressing her face into my chest. On instinct, my own arms wrapped around her instantly and nothing had ever felt more right than this girl in my arms. Her voice was muffled against my shirt as she said, "I'm pretty sure Felicity hates me."

My heart broke as I felt her tears soaking into the fabric. "Oh, Anna, no. She doesn't hate you."

"I messed everything up," she cried.

"You absolutely didn't," I promised. "Felicity's upset too, you know. She thinks she messed everything up with you."

There was a pause before Anna asked softly, "Did she tell you what happened?"

"How you shared with her and she jumped to conclusions without letting you elaborate? Yeah, she told me."

"Are you…" she paused. "Are you mad at me?"

My arms tightened. "Of course not. I'm on your side here."

Her head pulled back and her teary eyes met mine. "Really?"

"Always," I said. "But especially now. She should have let you share more before assuming to know what anything is like for you."

She bit her lip. "I feel bad. I left kind of quick. I should have given her the benefit of the doubt, but—"

"You were not obligated to do anything," I said firmly. "You were probably feeling hurt, right? Like she wasn't even trying to understand you?"

She nodded. "But I should have been more patient."

"You owed her nothing then and you owe her nothing now. It's all up to you and how you feel. You don't owe it to anyone to set aside your feelings, especially not when it's about this."

Her head tipped to the side as she studied me. "Do you not think I should talk to her and try to work it out?"

"I think you should do whatever you're comfortable with and whatever makes you happy. It's up to you if working things out with Felicity will fall into either of those categories."

She leaned her head back on my chest, and I raised one hand to run it through her hair. "I don't want to not be friends with her. But I'm nervous."

"I don't blame you," I said.

"I think maybe I should let it be for today," she said uncertainly. "I can talk to her tomorrow at school…" she trailed off.

I pressed a kiss to her hair. "If that's what you want to do, then it sounds like a good idea."

"You said she was upset? That she thinks she messed up?"

"Yes," I confirmed.

"So she won't get mad at me when I tell her…things?"

"She shouldn't. But if she does, then it's her problem." I waited a second, then added, "Honestly, though, Anna, I think this might all be a big case of Felicity putting her foot in her mouth. Which doesn't mean I'm taking her side or anything, but I don't think you need to be worried about talking to her. She said to tell you she was sorry. I told her I wouldn't because I wasn't sure if she understood enough to mean it yet, but I want you to know that she cares enough to try."

We were both quiet for a few moments, just standing there in our embrace. Then, quietly, "So I can try too."

Pride filled my body. She was so strong. "No matter what happens, remember I'm on your side, okay?"

Now her arms tightened around me, holding me close. "The same goes for you, you know? You've been so good to me. I'm on your side too."

I grinned into her soft hair. "Always?"

There was the slightest hint of laughter in her voice causing a warmth in my chest, when she said, "Always."

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