I'm baaaack! Hello, friends! Sorry for the ridiculously long delay. I have no excuses. I've just been trying to, you know, live. But I'm here now! With a new chapter! It's all in Anna's POV, and I hope you enjoy :)

Chapter Sixteen

Anna

Paul had told me yesterday that I could feel however I wanted to feel. I was justified no matter what. He'd said that Felicity felt bad and wanted to hear me out. And I trusted him, I did.

But Tuesday morning I was feeling insecure. So instead of facing Felicity like a good friend, I avoided her. I went to class late so she couldn't catch me before the day started. I spent gym in the nurse's office. I hid in the far corner of the library during lunch. By the time the end of the day rolled around, I was feeling a good dose of shame on top of my growing insecurity.

Could I really just never talk to Felicity again? Reality said no because I doubted I could avoid Felicity forever while also staying…friends…with Paul.

This became more evident when I received a text from Paul at the end of the day.

Paul: You maybe up for game night tonight?

I ducked into the restroom so I could focus on replying without running into anyone while my attention was divided. But how should I respond? Hey, Paul, no can do because I'm being a bit of a chicken today?

Ridiculous.

I needed to suck it up. Get over myself and talk to Felicity. Stop acting childish.

But just the thought made my stomach twist. I hadn't been able to eat much of anything since the day before. If for no other reason, that was a good one to do something to resolve this situation.

Maybe…maybe I didn't have to figure it out alone.

Anna: Can I talk to you?

Holding my breath after sending the message, I didn't have to wait long before my phone started ringing and I released a long gush of air. "Hey," I answered breathlessly.

"Hey," Paul's warm voice came over the line, and some of the tension eased from my bones. How was he already having such a strong effect on me? It should worry me more than it actually did. "What's wrong?"

So relieved to be talking to him, I gave a weak chuckle. "Can I say everything?"

"Really?" he asked, tone concerned. "Tell me about it."

"Okay, so that was a little dramatic. But I've kind of been avoiding Felicity all day."

He paused. "How would you feel if I told you I knew that already?"

My mind went blank. "I…don't know?"

"She mentioned that she hasn't seen you all day and asked if I could draw you out. I told her no, because it's up to you if you want to talk to her. But then she brought up another game night, and total honesty here? I'd love to do another one of those. So I said I'd float the idea out there. But no pressure at all if you're not ready, Anna, I swear."

The line went silent as I processed all those words. First he'd said no…then he'd said yes because it meant we'd get to hang out. Oddly, I almost wanted to smile. "You're on my side, right?"

His answer was immediate. "Absolutely."

"So I want you to be honest with me, okay?"

"Of course."

"Do you think I'm being stupid? Avoiding her and considering making up an excuse not to have game night? Should I just get over it?" I tried to keep my voice casual, but I was nervous to hear his opinion.

It took him a moment to respond, which made me feel a little better—at least he was taking my questions seriously. "Stupid? Not at all. And you should never feel like you have to force yourself to get over something. If you're upset, then you be upset. However…" he paused for a second before continuing, "if you are worried about how the conversation with Felicity will go and that's why you're putting it off, then I don't think you have that much to worry about."

"So you think I'm overreacting?" I surmised.

"No," he said firmly. "I think you might feel better if you rip off the band-aid, though. And if you think about it, a game night is ideal, yeah? I'll be there, and I've got your back no matter what. And if you want to leave, all you have to do it walk down the hall to get home. Something you'll be able to do at any point if you want to, no questions asked."

What he was saying made sense. Part of me wanted to continue cowering anyway, too meek to deal with the confrontation that was sure to come. But a bigger part of me wanted to do like Paul said and get it over with. Better to do it tonight with Paul there than some other time, likely at school, when I was put on the spot and alone.

"Okay," I said quietly.

"You sure?" he asked, catching the hesitation in my voice.

So I made sure I sounded more confident this time. "Yes. It's like you said, I should rip off the band-aid. And this is the ideal situation in which to do it. When should I come over?"

He scoffed. "I will come get you around six. Does that work?"

Now it was my turn to scoff, but it was with amusement. "You have to come pick me up for a walk down the hall?"

"Yes," he said, no room for argument.

I let out a short laugh. "Alright, then. Six works."

His voice was warm when he said, "Awesome. I'll see you soon. Let me know if you need anything else before then."

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. He was so attentive. "See you soon."

The call ended and I figured I should get to the car before Alex left without me. When I got there, he was very curious as to why I took so long, and also why he hadn't seen me at lunch.

I distracted him from his concerns by saying I was hanging out with friends tonight.

"So you're actually making friends?" he asked cautiously.

Rolling my eyes, I nodded. "Yes."

"And you're sure—"

I cut him off before he could say too much. I didn't need my mind going in the directions he was trying to take it. "I'm not stupid, Alex. I'm not going to make the same mistakes twice. They're not like the people I knew there."

The car was silent for a moment. "I don't think you're stupid. But I did notice you not in the cafeteria today, and you clearly didn't want to talk about it. Not a good sign."

"Felicity said something that upset me, but she's already tried to apologize, and I'm sure she's going to apologize again tonight. It's mostly a misunderstanding I'm overreacting to. Nothing to worry about, honestly."

Another moment of silence. "Okay, if you say so."

"Okay."

And that was that…for now, at least. He'd probably try to bring it up again soon, but by then Felicity and I will have hopefully worked out our issue and I'd be able to tell him things were good with more certainty.

Our parents still weren't home when six o'clock rolled around and Paul knocked on our door, so Alex promised to let them know where I was when they got home.

I slipped out the door instead of opening it up and inviting Paul inside. The last thing I needed was Alex trying to get more information on the situation with Felicity out of him.

"Hey," I said with a small smile in the hallway.

"Hey yourself," Paul murmured, his eyes lighting up. "It's great to see you."

My smile grew. "I guess it's okay to see you too."

He grinned. "Don't want to seem too eager, I get it."

Shaking my head, I made to move around him so we could head over to his and Felicity's apartment.

A large, warm hand slipped around mine, stopping me. "Wait for me. I'm supposed to be walking you over."

"Ah, yes, the long, precarious walk down the hall. How could I forget?"

He forced a frown, but his gaze was dancing as it stayed pinned on me. "I don't know, but I'm taking this very seriously. Hand holding at all times is necessary."

"Necessary," I repeated.

"Don't want to lose you," he said with a wink.

"Oh my god," I couldn't help but laugh through a groan. "Laying it on thick."

"Me?" he asked, abashed. "Never."

I laughed.

And I was still laughing when he pushed open his door, gesturing me through ahead of him. He followed closely behind since our hands were still linked.

So of course he ran into me when I stopped inside the door—because Felicity was right there.

I let out a little squeak as Paul's free arm wrapped around my stomach to keep me from pitching forward. My startle at Felicity turned into something else entirely as I felt his entire hard front pressed against my back.

Wow.

Paul and Felicity were talking, and then another deep voice joined in, but I couldn't focus on that quite yet. Warmth was coursing through my body. It stole my breath, kicked up my heart rate.

But then he was gone from behind me and his hands were on my shoulders, face in front of mine.

As I met his eyes, his voice registered. "Anna, you okay?"

Blinking at him, I registered where we were, what was happening, my response…and I blushed. Then nodded.

His stare roamed my face, and I was clearly hiding nothing because his brows went high. His smile was wider than any I'd ever seen on anyone. "Oh, you're more than okay," he said quietly.

Biting my lip, I looked down, preparing to beg him to forget this ever happened. It was too soon. He probably wasn't even interested that way. I was coming across too desperate. In what universe would he reciprocate? Just because he was so nice and funny and…everything…didn't mean he was that interested. There was no way, he was so beautiful.

"Hey," he murmured gently. "Anna. Look at me, please."

I moved my gaze from the ground to above his head.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," he said. "If you knew even half of how obsessed I am with you, you'd be running in the other direction. If either of us should be embarrassed, it's definitely me."

Oh no, he was overcompensating trying to make me feel better. Somehow that was worse. So I met his eyes. "Can we please forget this happened? Please?"

He studied my expression. "I don't think we should. I don't think you understand how I really feel, and what I really want to happen here. I don't like the idea of you under any false perceptions of us. Of how serious I want us to be." He paused. "And I don't mean that in any way you're not comfortable with. I just mean…well. I mean I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to. And even if you do tell me to, I'd for sure put up a fight."

"Okay, understood," I rushed to say, not even processing what he'd said. My heart was beating too fast for a different reason now and I couldn't focus on anything but moving on. That was mortifying, and I knew Felicity and her boyfriend were nearby, probably listening to all of this. Not the time or place to have a conversation like this.

Paul sighed, and my heart sank. He was getting tired of me already. "You don't mean that, but I get it. We should talk about this later."

I nodded, too upset to really feel relief. "Yeah." More like we could never talk about this again because he was surely changing his mind right then as we spoke, but now wasn't the time to discuss that either.

"Anna?" Felicity asked uncertainly from where she stood by the couch. "Can we talk?"

Going from the interaction with Paul to this was like going from the frying pan into the fire, but I couldn't run away from this forever. "Sure." My voice was barely a breath, though somehow everyone heard it. Paul led me over to sit in an armchair, then took his place hovering over my shoulder.

Felicity sat on the couch, Jacob beside her with a solemn expression as she wrung her hands in her lap. "I know I messed up. I'm not entirely sure how…but I'm willing to admit that I don't understand. And that I shouldn't jump to assumptions. I don't expect you to be totally comfortable with me again right away, but I'm willing to do whatever you need to keep you as a friend. We balance each other out so well, Anna, and I really have been enjoying being friends with you. I'll listen to you if you want to talk about what you go through, or I'll never bring it up ever again if that's what you need. But no matter what, I won't brush anything off or minimize your feelings. And I'm so sorry that's how I made you feel when you tried to be open with me. It was dumb and ignorant…and I just hope you believe me when I say I want to be better."

I don't know what I expected from Felicity, but I really should have anticipated the short speech she gave. Rambling was her nervous habit, I thought fondly. It was a lot to process on the spot. "I appreciate your apology." I paused. "And obviously I accept it."

Felicity released a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad."

The corners of my lips twitched as I held back a little smile. It wasn't right to be happy at her uncertainty—but I couldn't deny that it was a good feeling to have a friend who cared this much about keeping me in her life. "Honestly? I'd do anything to get past this situation right now. The awkwardness of it all makes me feel terrible. But I'm glad, too. I'm glad you care at all."

She smiled. "Of course I care!"

I shrugged. "I don't have much experience with good friends, so this is new."

"Well, get used to it," she warned before going quiet for a moment. Her expression was contemplative and I just knew she was about to ask something I didn't want to answer. "So not to be pushy or anything, but are you getting help? There's therapists and stuff, right? Does that not help?"

Pressing my lips together, I tried to decide what to say. I supposed I could tell what actually happened. But that felt like a cop-out. Like I was shifting the responsibility for my troubles to someone else. It was the truth at this point in time, but what would this small group of new friends think?

Paul's hand cupped my shoulder. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Surprisingly, Jacob spoke up right after Paul was done speaking, "But if you do answer, know that we aren't going to judge you. No matter what it is."

I watched him and I had to look confused—I knew Felicity wanted to be my best friend…was that why Jacob was trying to keep this conversation as smooth as possible? Or did he actually care?

He gave a soft smile. "You're pack, Anna. You've got our support always." His smile grew. "But also we know a little bit about experiencing things others don't easily understand."

Paul's hand squeezed a little at my shoulder, reinforcing Jacob's words. And I knew it was true—they'd given me no reason to doubt them so far.

So I decided to go with the truth.

"When my parents first realized that I was struggling more than an average nervous, shy child, they did send me to get help. I had a therapist for a while, and I did improve in that time. Maybe it's hard to believe seeing me now, but I was much worse—I rarely ate, could barely do much without bursting into tears…and I shook. A lot. I still do sometimes, but it was bad." I paused to take a deep breath, and Paul took that break to sit on the arm of my chair and wrap his arm around my shoulders. His warmth was nice. "I was diagnosed with severe anxiety, both generalized and social. There were prescriptions recommended, but my parents said no. They think I'm too young to be medicated. So I kept going to my sessions, but then I got to a point where they weren't really helping me improve anymore—and it just made me feel kind of hopeless, you know? Like, I was getting better. And then it stopped and I was better than before but still not good, still not normal, and nothing was helping. I asked my parents to stop scheduling appointments for me, and they agreed. That was around two years ago now, I think. And this is how I've been ever since: an anxious mess." I forced a short laugh that had no humor but would hopefully lessen the weight of the word vomit I'd just given the room at large.

Paul's arm curled around me more, pulling me into his chest. "Shit, Anna. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too, Anna," Felicity said quietly. "I didn't know."

The tension in the room was gravitating toward my abdomen. My chest was heavy, my stomach was swirling, and I wanted nothing more than to move on. "I appreciate it, and thanks for listening, but what I need right now is for everything to be normal. You know now, so if I act weird that's why, but I can't…I can't talk about this anymore. Please." My words were mumbled into Paul's shirt, but clearly they were understood because Paul pressed a quick kiss to my hair—making my cheeks warm—before letting go and standing up. Free of Paul's clutches, I could also see that Jacob had risen as well.

"Okay!" Paul clapped his hands. "Game night! We played a game that was a little too easy for Anna Banana over here last time. So I think we should bring out the big boys this time."

Felicity was clearly having more trouble redirecting after the previous conversation, and her expression was as confused as her voice as she asked, "The big boys?"

Paul's face was joyous as he fumbled through a cabinet along the wall, where they'd apparently stashed the multitude of games he had purchased to prep for the last game night. Finally, he found what he was looking for because he yelled, "Ah-ha!" There was some banging as he yanked the box he wanted out from underneath others before he finally turned around, holding a game above his head. "The ultimate equalizer!"

I blinked. Blinked again. Tilted my head a little. "Sorry?"

"Yes!" he said enthusiastically. "You can't outsmart us all at this game, Anna. It's all up to chance."

"You're ridiculous," I said incredulously.

"And delusional," Felicity added.

"Yeah," Jacob agreed. "I'm sure Anna will still find a way to whoop your ass at this game."

"Shut your dirty mouth," Paul said, but his face was lit with a smile. "I have a chance this time. Now make yourself useful and go get snacks."

I moved to stand. "I can help—"

"No, no," Felicity interrupted, gesturing for me to stay seated. "I can help him. Come on, Jacob."

Jacob halted for a moment, looking at me. "What would you like to drink?"

"Water, please."

I could tell he wanted to offer me something else, anything else, but he nodded and went with Felicity to the kitchen to gather supplies.

Just Paul and me in the room now, I watched as he began setting up the game on the coffee table. "What color would you like?"

"Yellow, please."

He grinned. "Perfect, then I can be blue right next to you."

"Perfect," I agreed with a small smile.

Paul stopped moving for a moment, glancing up at me. "I want you to know that I'm so proud of you. I know none of this has been easy for you. But the way you laid it all out? Full honesty for not just me but Anna and Jacob, too? Anna, that was amazing."

Feeling mushy, I had to admit, "It's because you were right next to me. I wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise."

His eyes sparkled. "Thank you."

I rolled my eyes. "Thank you."

"Thank us," he amended. "The perfect couple that continues to be perfect."

Felicity and Jacob came back into the room then, so Paul went back to setting up the game, but the smile never quite left his lips.

For the rest of the night, he seemed so happy—even when I won Sorry instead of him.

Even when Jacob came in second place.

Even when the game was finally over, Paul in third place and Felicity last, and we put the pieces away and made a little small talk before calling it a night.

And especially when he walked me down the hall, placing light kisses on my hands and then my forehead before I went inside my apartment.

And based on the knowing looks on my family's faces that night, I got the feeling I wasn't hiding my happiness either.

I hope you liked it! Please, let me know your thoughts! Chapter 17 will be up in the near future (which I know since I've already written it - gasp, I know), and it's all Paul's POV and very pack-centric. But that's all I'm going to say. Thank you for reading! Until next time, take care! :)