Chapter 12
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It was midafternoon when Billy finally took a break from his time studying in the library. He hadn't seen Dorrek since breakfast and the tray Cassie brought him for lunch still rested on his table holding an empty cup and a plate of crumbs. He fell back into his chair and let out a long breath. His brain felt exhausted and he knew he needed a break.
Grabbing his red cloak again he wrapped it around his shoulders and headed outside. Even though the tattered hem of the cape only went to his waist it still helped to keep in most of his body warmth to fight off the chill in the winter air. As he walked he tried to convince himself that he was only out here for some fresh air and to admire the scenery; there was no secret desire to find Dorrek. As gorgeous as the landscape was, his heart still fought off his thoughts and debated his inner monologue; insisting that Billy knew fully well that Dorrek had been spending more and more time outside and he had high odds of finding the royal out here.
That train of thought led his mind down another road as he wandered the courtyards. Just adjusting to using Dorrek's title in his head was a bit disorienting. He'd always known, from the luxury of the palace alone, that Dorrek must have been a well-to-do person from a first class family. But prince? And prince of what? Thinking back to a few days ago when Dorrek mentioned memories of war and danger in his childhood, and of course mentioning the death of his mother, Wiccan could only imagine what sort of life the prince had been living. Clearly something along the lines of political rebellion, or resistance, or usurping had been going on but the stranger thing was: Why didn't Billy remember something so important? Wouldn't something of that caliber been broadcast on the news? Been in the papers? But he had no recollection of anything of the sort.
Perhaps it was part of the spell, a small inner voice chimed in, right before he was pulled from his thoughts and realized where he'd wandered himself off to. The result of the struggle between his head and his heart fighting over control of him and his actions, clearly while his mind had been distracting him from his denial his heart had still been putting up a fight.
His heart won the battle when the footpath Billy had taken did in fact lead to a small circular grotto made of stone pillars with a thin statue in the center that looked like it would function as a fountain in any other season and sitting on a marble bench was Dorrek reading to himself quietly.
Without any hesitation or fear Billy turned off the path and headed over. Dorrek seemed aware of his presence but continued reading, engrossed in his book. Tilting his head slightly Billy was able to get a glimpse of the cover.
"Hmm, Romeo and Juliet." Billy commented and Dorrek's head snapped up as he closed the book and held it back cover side up.
"I'm only reading it for the war between the Montagues and the Capulets." Dorrek told him, perhaps a bit too quickly as Billy's lips turned up in a smile he tried to hide.
"Still, it's a romance." He said as he took a seat on the edge of the fountain across from the prince.
Dorrek shook his head and rolled his eyes, "Fine. Yes, it's a romance. But I'll have you know it was my guardian who first had me read it and he was the toughest soldier in our army."
Billy's brow furrowed and he looked at Dorrek amused, "Is that what you're afraid of? That I won't think you're masculine for reading Romeo and Juliet?"
Dorrek didn't respond, he only rolled his eyes again and avoided eye contact.
Wiccan chuckled, "Well, you don't have to worry about that. The town where I'm from would tell you I'm not the manliest person around."
Dorrek now turned to him with a quirked blonde brow looking a bit confused, "Because you fly around in a cape?" he guessed.
"No, they don't know I'm Wiccan." Billy chuckled again but it was sadder now as his mind dug up the real reason. He bit his lip and glanced at the ground resting his elbows on his knees and he hunched forward, "I meant because I like men."
Dorrek's head snapped to him again, this time in shock. The young mage looked back at him, his head still tilted toward the ground as his brown eyes watched from under his lashes, already expecting this reaction.
Billy shrugged, "It comes with the stereotype I guess."
A silence fell over them as he turned away again pretending to be more focused on the icicles at the tops of the pillars. Dorrek took the silent moment to process that information. It brought plenty of questions to mind but Dorrek didn't want to make Billy feel worse by interrogating him on the specifics of the stereotype he'd mentioned. So instead he chose a question that hopefully would take their conversation down a less darkened path. "So. . .do you have a man back home you care for?"
Wiccan shook his head back to looking at his feet, though he didn't seem to be ashamed, just pondering in his own mind the same as Dorrek was.
"Well, you can still look, that's a gift in itself. To be allowed to search for your other half."
Billy scoffed, "I'm not sure I'd say I'm really all that accepted –"
"I didn't say accepted." Dorrek cut him off, "I said allowed."
Wiccan's head turned to him, his eyebrows pinching together as he took his turn being confused now.
Dorrek looked down at his book and flipped through the pages, going back and forth, "Love is something I was taught at an early age was a weakness. Something a ruler should never have, an urge to never surrender to." He shrugged, "It never really bothered me though, I was always meant for an arranged marriage anyway I suppose."
"You. . ." Billy tried to piece a sentence together, "You aren't allowed to find love?"
Dorrek took a deep breath, "Love is what cripples people –"
"Love is also what gives people great strength. . . courage. . . to just live without it. . ." he trailed off images of what a bleak loveless future really looked like floating through his mind.
Dorrek turned his blue eyes back to him, "My parents found love in each other, look where that brought them. . .My mother and father came from two worlds that. . . didn't like each other very much, to put it lightly."
Billy glanced down at the copy of Romeo and Juliet understanding Dorrek's connection to the novel. His parents loved and lost too.
"That's why my guardian had me read this book. To remind me that love cannot win everything. That placing so much trust in it is foolish. That it will cost you your power, your kingdom and your life."
Dorrek took another deep breath. This was what made the witch's spell so hopeless. 'If you can learn to love another and gain their love in return.' Love was the one thing Dorrek had been preened to reject, for it to now be his only hope. . . he had no idea where to begin. He knew nothing of love, much less how to find it.
"Maybe love will find you one day then. And it will be too strong to ignore." Billy finally said and Dorrek looked from the book back up to him as the young man shrugged. "Love can't always be explained."
Dorrek stared at him as he pondered that sentence. But his analyzing was interrupted by Kate's voice in the distance, "What about using this when setting the table tonight? And then you can change the seating arraignments to –"
"That's it. Get out of my kitchen!" Cassie called back.
"Ugh. Eli don't you agree that –"
"Kate I can't begin to express to you how little I give a –"
"Do you think Kate and Eli are in love?" Billy asked out of the blue.
Dorrek's brow lifted as if questioning his sanity and he chuckled, "They fight all the time."
"Exactly." Wiccan turned to him with a glint in his eyes, "They fight like an old married couple."
"You don't have to be rude." Kate replied to whatever Eli had said, "Just because my taste and sense of décor are better then yours by light years –"
As they continued to listen to the couple arguing Dorrek and Billy descended into chuckles and fits of laughter of their own. Dorrek couldn't count how many moments in the past handful of days where he'd found himself laughing sincerely. And perhaps more shocking was how he couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed like this. If there ever was such a time.
When he looked to Billy he saw his head turned in the direction of the castle, his eyes lit up as he laughed with a large smile on his face Dorrek never wanted to fade.
Hearing Kate talk about decorating brought something new to mind, "You've been helping Kate around the castle."
Billy turned to him, then cleared his throat. "Yeah." He looked down at his hands as they glowed dimly, "I figured since you're pretty much all healed I could use some of my magic to help her when I was taking a break from the library."
It was the least he could do, Billy thought to himself. Kate was the reason he hadn't spent a single night in that damp and dank cell in the tower. She'd let him out and given him the suite. Every good thing that had progressed since that point was all because of her.
"She seemed set on 'returning the castle to its former glory' – her words."
Dorrek hummed in agreement and turned back toward the castle. He remembered when Kate would organize all their events, everything from a simple dinner with a visiting Prime Minister to an elaborate gala with hundreds of guests. Kate thrived in high society, she knew how to schmooze the rich whenever they needed to find entrepreneurs, she knew how to flatter the royals, and she could hide any suspected motive behind a simple bat of her eyelashes. Everything of course had to have his approval as the prince, and a small smile appeared on his face at the memory of how Kate's face would light up as she'd discuss the décor, music, guest lists and all the other minute details she'd woven together into the most fabulous party. He also felt a pinch of guilt because back then he'd never really thought to thank her for all her hard work. He'd been too busy moping at the idea of having to sit through hours of entertaining people he cared nothing for. It was a small consolation to know that with Billy here Kate had been able to relive her prime just a bit.
"It'd be a shame not to use it for a dance." He said out loud accidentally. Billy turned to him and Dorrek nervously covered the slip, "We used to have them all the time, I'm sure Kate's told you."
Wiccan paused for only half a second, then nodded, "She has." Then a small blush colored his face, ". . . And. . . I'm sure having a dance to plan again would make her ecstatic."
Dorrek's mind took a moment to process what Billy had just said. He couldn't possibly have heard him right. Or he was looking too far into Wiccan's words and finding a meaning that hadn't been intended.
But Billy's next sentence removed all doubt, "So. . . sure, let's do it."
Dorrek continued to look at him in silence and shock, then he cleared his throat, "I'll, uh, go find Kate and tell her."
"Okay." Wiccan replied softly sounding shy all of a sudden as he looked down and played with a fraying piece of his cloak. As Dorrek headed back for the castle he clenched his free hand that wasn't holding his book. He made a fist and uncurled it, then made a fist again. Why were his palms suddenly sweaty?
.
.
"All I did was suggest it, I never imagined he'd say yes!" Dorrek exclaimed as Eli and Kate helped him get ready. It wasn't an easy task. The form Dorrek was trapped in now was much larger than his human one, so any clothes that weren't torn into shreds from one of his old fits still would be several sizes too small. However, Kate – with all her scheming – had planned for this and had already gotten a suit ready for him. She was sitting on his bed while he rested in the chair in front of the vanity; with a needle and thread in her hand she was finishing up a few perfections to the cuff of one sleeve. Eli was off to the side polishing Dorrek's boots looking like he was trying this hardest to not spoil Kate's moment as she raved.
"This is perfect!" she gushed ignoring his worrying. "It's the perfect setting for telling him how you feel."
"I don't know what I feel!" Dorrek said angrily. The frustration aimed at himself though and not the others. "So how in the world am I supposed to tell him?"
"Well there are ways without words." Kate suggested with a quirked brow and a smirk that he saw in the reflection of the vanity's mirror.
Dorrek's stomach twisted in anxiety at the idea of making a brazen move like what Kate was suggesting. He looked down at his lap making sure he couldn't even see Kate or her reflection in his peripheral vision.
"The rose does only have four petals left." Eli spoke up bringing over his shoes. "Kate may have a point."
She turned and opened her mouth to speak but Eli held up a finger and cut her off, "Don't you dare say I told you so."
Reluctantly she closed her mouth and brought over his clothes. Then she turned her back so Dorrek could change. He untied his plum robe and took the clothes and boots Eli passed him.
"And it's not as though you would have to worry about offending him." His advisor went on, turning and bringing the robe back to the prince's closet. "He's already admitted his orientation preferences to you."
"If anyone wants my opinion. . ." Kate butted in still turned away as she twisted a piece of hair around with her now pointed and green fingernail.
"We don't." Eli cut her off again.
But in true Kate fashion, she didn't listen, "Don't get discouraged. Just formulate a plan in your head and stick to it. Like any military strategy."
Eli turned on her greatly offended, "I'll have you know there's more to military strategy then that!"
"But not more to it when dealing with love." She replied very matter of fact-ly.
"This isn't love." Dorrek chimed in as he tucked his shirt into his pants.
"Well you care for him don't you?" Kate asked in clarification as she turned back around and Dorrek sat down in the chair.
He mulled it over. He knew he hadn't liked seeing Billy hurt or sad. His gut turned at just the memory of his bruises. And he'd gone after the mage that fateful night in the first place when he could have just left him to die. But something had pulled him from the castle that he hadn't left in years, something had gotten him to leave without a second thought. Could that be love? Even then? It seemed illogical, but as everyone knew, what was love if not illogical?
"With the music, the candlelight, it will all fall into place Sire." Kate said with a smile. He huffed and glanced to her in the mirror, wishing he had her confidence.
.
.
"Why did I say yes!?" Billy asked himself out loud as he got out of the tub and dried off. He'd felt a few butterflies earlier at the idea but now they'd turned into a whole swarm of angry hornets. He felt a bit nauseous too and hoped he wouldn't get sick tonight.
He dressed from the waist down before walking out to his room where Cassie was ironing his shirt. Beside her hanging off the handle of the wardrobe was a red dress jacket. It looked a bit military like Eli's coat with buttons at the end of the sleeves and going down the center. The collar was a bit higher giving it a regal shape and the bottom would probably end at his mid thigh.
"Here you are dear." Cassie said passing him the navy button down shirt which he immediately put on. Then he did the matching tie before she came over with a navy vest she held out as he slid his arms through. He did the buttons all the way down making sure the tie laid flat under it as Cassie helped him put on the coat like she'd done with the vest.
It fit him like a glove. So much so that he wondered if Kate had been planning this long before Dorrek suggested it. All the times he'd caught her smirking at him or peeking sly glances flashed through his mind.
He grabbed the open sides of the coat and walked toward the floor length mirror. Cassie passed him a brush and he combed through his hair getting it to lay flat before he brushed it to one side to keep it off his forehead.
When he was ready Cassie made her way into the reflection behind him grinning like a child on Christmas day. "Oh you shine up like a new penny!"
He blushed and looked down at his polished shoes. Cassie's giddiness faded a bit but her smile didn't falter. "Nervous?"
He licked his lips and nodded his head. "It's not too obvious, is it?"
She chuckled, "Last time I saw Dorrek he was just as nervous as you are."
Billy turned from his reflection to look directly at her with a bit of surprise, "Really?"
"Mmm-hmm." She nodded, "A word of advice: don't let him step on your toes."
"You mean figuratively, right?" he asked, the anxiety creeping back up at the idea of actually dancing tonight.
Cassie only gave him a sly look before she turned and headed for the door. She stopped after she pushed it open and beckon him with a finger. He knew she'd give him no choice to back out now so he took a deep breath then he followed her.
Walking slower because of his nerves put Cassie several paces in front of him so she reached the main stairwell first. By the time Billy got there she was already at the bottom joining Kate and Eli. Billy hesitated at the top and pulled at his jacket again nervously. Movement in his peripheral vision drew his gaze back up and he saw Dorrek enter at the top of the staircase across from him. He was wearing a darker plum dress coat over an ivory vest both which concealed his wings. Instead of a tie he had one of those sashes under the jacket that marked him as royalty that matched the plum coat except the sash had gold trim. Even from the distance they were at Billy could hear when Dorrek cleared his throat and he remembered what Cassie said about the prince being nervous too. It helped a little knowing that he wasn't the only one.
Trying to ignore the buzzing angry bees in his stomach Billy started down the stairs. Dorrek took that cue and the two met on the landing. Billy did his best to meet Dorrek's eyes but he could feel his face heat up with his furious blush. Dorrek saw and couldn't stop the timid smile that took over his face. Seeing it made Billy's own mouth turn up in one corner in a shyer little grin.
There was a small 'hem hem' from the bottom of the steps that made them both turn just in time to see Kate elbow Cassie in the stomach. As she rubbed the spot below her ribs the blonde muttered to her friend, "It's getting cold."
Kate rolled her eyes and both Billy and Dorrek chuckled which helped relive the nervous tension.
They glanced at each other once more before moving down the last flight of steps and heading into the dining hall for the dinner Cassie had prepared. Billy stuffed his hands into his pockets as he toyed nervously with his fingers but was glad that so far no other anxiety based reactions were sabotaging himself.
When they entered the dining hall he was surprised to see that the chairs had been moved so instead of sitting at either end of the long table they would sit across from each other in the middle of the long sides, putting them closer together.
He glanced at Dorrek out of the corner of his eye and saw the taller man glancing back. The eye contact lasted only a second before they both turned back to the room and headed for the table. Any discomfort from the change of seating was wiped away when Billy got a glance at the food – as always. Cassie had outdone herself, every spring of herbs had been placed with delicate almost artistic precision, each lemon slice on each type of fish had been sculpted into a flower shape, and he could have sworn she used a piping bag to get the perfect swirl in the mashed potatoes. Even Dorrek, who'd known Cassie much longer and had spent years attending extravagant galas looked shocked by the details Cassie and Kate had sought out for the evening.
With the spread of options in front of them Billy was able to distract himself from his nerves by debating what to put on his plate. As they dug in Kate walked over and placed a bottle of wine on the table.
"Kate." Dorrek scolded giving her a look, of course she returned it with another of her classic mischievous grins.
"What?" she asked feigning innocence. Dorrek rolled his eyes and Billy almost laughed.
"It's a nice thought Kate, but I'm not old enough." He told her.
"It's just wine." She shrugged, "And I won't tell anyone."
This time a laugh did escape him as she winked and headed back to the kitchen.
"You don't seem the type to drink irresponsibly anyway." Dorrek commented with a small smile.
"Thanks." He replied as some of his shyness returned. Wanting to keep it at bay he glanced up from his plate to the bottle Kate had left and got an idea. Billy put down his knife from his right hand and curling his fingers a dim blue glow wrapped around the thin neck like a ribbon and lifted the bottle as it began to pour itself. Dorrek's movements froze as he watched, his eyes flickering between the levitating bottle and the fluid movements of Billy's fingers. The way they cradled the small ball of blue light in his palm brought to mind how delicate someone would be when petting a small bird. Dorrek's blue eyes looked into Billy's brown ones that were focused on pouring the wine. The look in those chocolate irises was deep as the mage watched his own work. There was little emotion in his gaze, mostly concentration, but in that blank stare Dorrek could also make out a hint of wonder from how transfixed his eyes were on his magic, like he was mesmerized by his own ability.
"Do you use your powers much at home?" Dorrek asked as the bottle returned to the table and Billy's attention moved to him and his question. "For daily things?"
"Not really." Billy responded as he took the drink he'd poured, "I like doing things for myself. I prefer not to rely on my magic."
Dorrek nodded, "That's smart. . . and selfless."
Billy looked at him confused, his brows pinching together, "How is it selfless?"
Dorrek took a deep breath, grabbing the wine bottle and pouring a drink for himself. "Great power. . . tends to lead to great corruption." He looked across the table and shrugged, "My mentor taught me that. It was his reasoning behind all the sacrifices a good ruler has to make. The more you give up for your power, the less you take it for granted, the more fair and just you are with it."
He placed the bottle back down, "But you already don't use your powers for yourself. You use them mainly for the benefit of others. Which just proves what a good person you naturally are."
Dorrek avoided eye contact and returned to cutting up his food before popping a piece into his mouth. Billy took the time to try and control his blush at the compliment as he sipped his drink. The wine was alright, even though the label on the bottle suggested it was expensive and the finest you could buy – so he assumed by default that alcohol must be an acquired taste.
Dorrek then cleared his throat and asked a new question to keep the silence from lingering too long.
"If your abilities weren't dampened here. . . what could you do?" he looked up at him curiously, quirking a blonde brow. Billy put down his drink and smirked as he met Dorrek's gaze. Something about the silence and his expression answered enough of the question that Dorrek's eyes went wide and Billy felt an odd surge of pride for being able to stun him to such a degree. The royal would have never imagined that someone as youthful and small in stature as the young man across from him could possess enough power to put a confident grin like that on his face.
"Really?" Dorrek asked and Billy shrugged still grinning, "What would you be able to do?"
"Well. . ." he looked down at his plate and started spinning his fork slowly, "If I'm capable of doing the things my mother could. . . then it's some pretty world altering. . . chaos magic."
Billy glanced up and saw Dorrek was still looking at him in shock though he was relieved to see no fear in his blue eyes, just amazement. Billy gave a tiny smile before he broke their eye contact and looked back down at his plate taking a few more bites of food. But Dorrek knew him well enough by now that he saw the meaning behind his body language.
"That isn't something you're happy about I take it?" he stated like a question but it sounded more like a plain fact. Dorrek had gotten to know him better then Billy had thought. He took another sip of his wine, despite the off-putting flavor and aftertaste. He was hoping the alcohol would help him calm down and loosen up like people claimed it did, especially with where the conversation had gone. But oddly enough, even a tad uncomfortable, Billy had no desire to change the subject or lie to Dorrek. It was like something inside him wanted to open up.
Somehow he had the courage to look Dorrek in the eye when he responded, "It's just hard to think, that one day, people might look at me the way they'd look at a nuke being launched. Like. . . like –"
"Like you're a destructive beast that will hurt them." Dorrek finished not taking his eyes of Billy.
Everything inside Billy froze, it took his mind a moment to wrap around the new concept that entered it. But eventually it clicked. He held his gaze with Dorrek's finally coming to the conclusion that the cursed prince across the table from him might just be the only person – other than the Scarlet Witch herself – who could understand Billy's worst fears.
"It's not just how other people might look at me one day." He continued to pour out his soul, "It's the times when I look in the mirror and that's all I see staring back. The powerful mage who could destroy the world."
"You'll never be that." Dorrek said almost immediately, "You only make the world more beautiful."
Again, there was a long stare between them, but this time Dorrek seemed to get embarrassed by what he'd said. So he cleared his throat again "And I think Kate would agree, I mean, -" he gestured around the room with a nonchalant wave of his hand, "Look at everything you've done with your gift to help her improve the castle."
Billy smiled and nodded his head in agreement.
"Kate wouldn't even let me in the ballroom earlier." Dorrek went on, "She said she wanted it to be a surprise."
"I didn't help her with much. Just got the cobwebs that were too high up to reach and used a spell that polished the marble." Billy told him honestly as he finished the last bits of food on his plate.
Dorrek looked to the door as he downed the last of his drink. "Should we see if she'd let us sneak in and look now?"
Billy glanced to the kitchen door checking for any sign that Kate was listening in. When he saw none he turned to Dorrek who was looking at him out of the corner of his eye.
"We better hurry." Billy smiled.
They shared a slightly mischievous grin, like when you were about to go searching through your parent's bedroom for your birthday present. As quietly as they could they both hurried from their seats to the door, tugging at their formal jackets to straighten them, and snuck out. Luckily all they had to do was cross the foyer, pass the stairs and make it to the set of gilded doors. Dorrek pushed them open when they made it there without being caught and even after helping Kate Billy's jaw still dropped in shock at all she'd been able to put together in one afternoon. Huge golden pots full of flowers were perfectly spaced out around the oval room. The perfect bunches of flowers almost looked like Kate had taken flowering shrubs and just repotted them the bundles were so large. Most of the flowers were white, or pale colors like light blue or yellow and were tucked between dark green leaves. They complimented the white ivory of the marble walls and pillars and didn't clash with the gold trim. Those gold embellishments sparkled a bit in the lighting which was coming from a brightly lit chandelier. However, because it was so high up the electric bulb's lighting faded the closer you got to the floor leaving a cozy light and nothing that hurt your eyes. On each pillar was a sconce with two thin tall candles that were lit to help add a bit more light to the dim shadowy corners and enhanced the warm welcoming glow. Billy and Dorrek parted as they each wandered about the room admiring Kate's handiwork. As he roamed he noticed there was soft music playing in the background, he didn't see any kind of speaker system but had no doubt that Kate in her own cleverness would have figured out some way. He approached the nearest bushel of flowers, above it and every other vase banners hung that were dark purple and in the center had a shape that Billy hadn't ever seen before. . . but he'd read about.
"These are Skrull banners." He said as he turned to Dorrek who was across the room. He remembered the description of them from that one history book he'd read what seemed like a lifetime ago. He'd been packing his brain with so much studying on magic since then it was a wonder he recalled it.
Dorrek turned to him looking away from the painted mosaic in the ceiling with his hands clasped behind his back.
He gave a single nod, "You read about them I take it?"
Billy nodded back then looked at the banner again, that feeling of awe returning at the fact that the alien race he'd been reading about was really real. And that Dorrek was their prince.
"What do you think of the Skrull Empyre?" Dorrek asked taking a few steps in his direction. Billy turned away from the banner and also took a few steps toward the center of the room.
"It's fascinating. Especially given all the wars and attacks they've survived."
Dorrek gave a small smile, "There's much more to us then war."
His tone was soft and when Billy's eyes returned to him he looked a bit sad. Billy knew Dorrek had often talked about how his mentor raised him to be strong, conversations like the one they'd had about love being a weakness or only a few minutes ago when Dorrek had mentioned his philosophies on great power and sacrifice. If there were more to the Skrulls and their culture then war then it was something Dorrek had been excluded from. One of his sacrifices.
Billy wanted to drive that dejection from Dorrek's face, so in an attempt to cheer him up he asked, "Did you host many Skrull dances here?"
The change in Dorrek was instant, a small curve to his lips hinted at a smile and he looked around the room with renewed eyes, stepping closer to the center of the floor, "We would host a mixed event. Skrull dances and human ones."
"Is there that much of a difference?" he continued to inquire, having not read much about happy times in that history book on the Skrulls. It must have been in the earlier volumes. And besides, he'd much rather hear it from Dorrek.
"Skrull dances aren't like human ones. The number one rule to them is that the pair doesn't touch."
Billy looked thrown for a loop with that information, "Really?"
Dorrek shook his head up and down still smiling, "The idea of public displays of affection isn't behavior that is accepted in the public eye. Touches between partners are seen as private and bringing them into social settings is scandalous. Even the most promiscuous people don't dare challenge the sanctity of one's privacy."
"That's so different from earth." Billy replied with an incredulous shake of his head. Nearly everywhere you went you saw people kissing or holding hands. Some made out shamelessly not caring if anyone saw. For a moment he pictured what a relationship to the Skrull must be like. To walk side by side with your partner down the street but not touch he'd find difficult. His hand would probably burn with wanting. But on the other hand he supposed that yearning is what aided the relationships to last. Absence did make the heart grow fonder they said.
By restricting hand holding, cuddling and kissing to private locales perhaps the Skrulls were onto something. Billy could picture Skrulls cherishing that time cuddling on a couch or giving a kiss goodnight so much more than humans. They tended to take that for granted. And then of course there was the lust. Advertisements on every corner in the city in some way promoted sex or sexiness – even in an age where everything was meant to be seen as beautiful ads still showcased certain 'ideal body images'. The Skrull culture wouldn't have that. Sex or anything remotely sexual in an ad would be taboo and therefore the notion of an 'ideal man or woman' would not exist. Maybe it would be better if earth were that way, he pondered. Less lust and more private intimacy. He glanced at Dorrek and felt a blush color his face again so he looked away.
"So how do you dance without touching someone?" he asked turning his eyes back to Dorrek. The taller man smiled and stepped closer, as they'd talked they'd drifted onto the dancefloor but now Dorrek's steps brought him to directly meeting Billy face to face. Dorrek looked down at him for a minute and Billy felt his heart pick up its rhythm. Then Dorrek raised one hand, his elbow bent at a perfect ninety-degree angle by his side like he was taking an oath and his open palm turned toward Billy.
"You mimic this with your arm." He instructed and Billy did so, stepping to the left so he and Dorrek weren't perfectly lined up but their right hands were. Their fingers hovered in the air facing each other but keeping space between them. "Then you step back as I step forward. Then the reverse."
Billy nodded and followed the steps Dorrek instructed him. He was grateful for the light music in the background now, it would have felt foolish dancing in nothing but silence.
"Tale as old as time, true as it can be, barely even friends then somebody bends, unexpectedly. Just a little change, small to say the least, both a little scared, neither one prepared, la sorcière et la bête."
Once they'd completed the two steps Dorrek continued his lesson.
"After the two steps we turn in a circle, then do the same two steps, then we each spin and when we face each other again we swap arms so our left hands are facing each other. Then repeat the whole thing."
Billy nodded and did so, following the movement of Dorrek's sure steps to help guide his cautious novice ones. With each repetition the motion of the steps became easier and it felt like the music got a bit louder and flowed through their strides.** The golden light of the room reflecting off the polished marble made it feel like they were a world away, out of the reach and eyes of everyone. With each spin Billy felt he had the steps down better than the last repetition. They switched arms gracefully and he followed Dorrek's feet in their perfect cycle. 'Don't let him step on your toes.' Cassie had advised earlier, but in that moment it seemed impossible, they moved with a flow that felt so natural and well rehearsed even Billy had trouble accepting that he'd only learned the steps mere moments ago. The remembrance of Cassie's words brought a new blush to his face, one reason, it was obvious that one way or another she and Kate must have planned for the pair of them to end their evening in this room. And for another reason – he was dancing with Dorrek!
He hoped his blush went unnoticed but when he looked away from their floating hands and blue met brown he could tell by that handsome smile that he'd been caught. It was only the twinkle in Dorrek's own eyes that kept Billy from being completely swallowed up by embarrassment. Cassie had also said Dorrek was as nervous as he was so he let that fact keep him calm, finding comfort that they were on equal ground and heading into this new territory on the same nervous page.
"Ever just the same, ever a surprise, ever as before, ever just as sure, as the sun will rise. Tale as old as time, tune as old as song, bittersweet and strange finding you can change, learning you were wrong. Certain as the sun, rising in the east, tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, la sorcière et la bête. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, la sorcière et la bête."
Eventually the song faded to a close and they both stopped moving. A new song began but the moment had shifted. Slowly they both dropped their arms and took a step apart. Dorrek turned and Billy knew what he felt, because there was an anxiety filled little voice trying to take control of him too. It wanted an out, an escape. He watched Dorrek's head turn toward a pair of glass doors that led to another balcony. Instead of trying to keep Dorrek here in the ballroom with him, Billy knew the cool air would help both their nerves.
He was the one who initiated the first step toward the doors and when he looked over his shoulder he saw Dorrek smile gratefully at him before he followed.
They walked out to the balcony and Billy leaned on his forearms resting on the stone railing looking out at the garden under the moonlight.
"I can't even remember the last time I danced." Dorrek admitted and Billy turned looking at him from over his shoulder as he took the last few steps and joined Billy at the rail. He had his hands clasped behind his back as he too looked out across the grounds. "Even the last dozen or so parties we had, it just. . . stopped appealing to me."
He smiled and turned to Billy who grinned back at him. The earlier nervousness was gone and it was easy to just fall into a calm peaceful moment.
"Your culture is fascinating." Billy carried on the conversation, "The no touching rule makes the whole thing so much more. . . intense." He admitted with another blush.
Dorrek chuckled and moved just a tad closer to him turning his head back to gaze out at the calm night. "It does. When you remove the lust that comes with physical contact it's almost like you can look into the other person's soul. The connection just becomes so much deeper."
Billy nodded along with his words in agreement, it seemed it was easier for Dorrek to say things like that when they weren't making eye contact. Given that he'd been raised to resent love in all its forms Billy didn't mind or take it personally, he just enjoyed the little glimpses into what Dorrek's true thoughts were, not the ones ingrained by his tough mentor.
When he did eventually turn he saw Dorrek was surprisingly already looking at him and his face became even warmer. This time though he didn't look away shyly. He held eye contact with Dorrek until they both cleared their throats simultaneously and readjusted their positions. Billy spun slowly and rested his elbows back on the rail so he looked into the ballroom again. It glowed with golden light that bounced off the ivory marble and made any gold trim shimmer and sparkle. Kate really had created a scene from a fairytale.
"I've never danced with another man before." Dorrek spoke up and Billy looked to his right at him. He was standing at an angle with his left hand resting on the rail, his body facing Billy though he looked shyly at the ground; but his eyes turned to him when he noticed Billy's stare. "It's different."
Billy opened his mouth to respond, but only air came out in a white puff. It collided and mixed with the air Dorrek exhaled. He licked his lips and tried again, "Different how?"
Dorrek was quiet for a long pause as their stare continued, "Good different."
Then Billy realized how close the taller man seemed to be, how their bodies had moved closer without their permission. Their shoulders nearly brushed and would be if not for the angle of Dorrek's body facing Billy head on. The white puffs of their breaths in the cold night air met closer and closer. It was like they were standing still but the rotation of the earth adjusted in a way that brought them nearer to each other. He felt frozen in place and wondered if he couldn't move, or if something in him just really didn't want to. His body was so still and his eyes were so focused on Dorrek he wasn't even sure if he was still breathing.
"Tell me to stop." Dorrek whispered hesitating less than an inch away. It sounded almost like a plead. After being taught how weak love made someone Dorrek was indecisive about pursuing it. Even if the enchantress required it to break the curse, Dorrek didn't want that to be the only reason for his actions. He still wanted some say in them. He wanted to go after love the right way, not just because some witch said he should. And after everything Billy had done to try and help him the last thing he wanted was to hurt the young man. He didn't want to make a mistake and hurt his feelings. Make him feel like he'd been used. But he had no more inner strength to stop himself. He needed Billy for that. He needed the young mage to tell him to stop, to draw the line, to give him a reason not to surrender to the feelings racing through his veins right now.
Billy stayed perfectly still as he watched Dorrek closely. His resolve was crumbling, Billy realized, and he was hoping Wiccan would be the force that could hold back his own urges with a refusal. But Billy didn't want that, he didn't think any person should be taught what Dorrek was taught about romance. Everyone should have the opportunity to feel, whether it was the kind of love that lasted weeks and was silly and foolish, or if it was the kind of love that lasted a lifetime or more. Everyone deserved a chance at that.
Or maybe it was him being selfish and making excuses – because some instinct in him was trying to tell him something. Something he couldn't make out, couldn't put into words, something he could only feel and experience, not explain. He wasn't going to fight it, and he didn't want Dorrek to fight it either. His eyes flashed from Dorrek's eyes to his lips, then back again, "No."
He stopped breathing when he felt that beautiful pressure against his mouth moving just as easily as they'd moved while dancing. That seamless gliding of moving back and forth in absolute perfection. Dorrek's large hand came up and cupped Billy's face and the mage's hand moved to cover the thick green wrist, holding on gently. His lips pushed back as Dorrek's moved but all too soon he pulled back. There was shock and hesitation in Dorrek's face, which was still close enough that their noses almost touched, and he looked at Billy like he was waiting for some kind of angry outburst. Instead, he leaned forward and continued their moment.
That seemed to be enough of an answer to whatever questions Dorrek had been asking himself as his hand slid down into the curve of Billy's neck and shoulder. Wiccan's own fingers gripped Dorrek's wrist tighter as their mouths moved together faster, then slower as they caught gasps of air each time they shifted, then moved faster again.
Even with the snow surrounding them for acres, neither one felt cold, only delightful warmth.