Chapter 5

I looked around the clearing, the place oddly silent. I was in the Dark Forest, but the real question was where was Lightstar? I guess I'm much better off without her. Although it is kind of worrying to not see her here.

"Welcome back," Lightstar greeted, dramatically emerging from the underbrush after a while.

"Where were you?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. I shouldn't care and act indifferent that she was late, but something about it seemed off.

She flicked her tail dismissively. "No matter," she responded. "Since I was a bit busy we should waste no time and get right to training. Especially with your lack of cooperation recently."

As many times as she scared me and made me think she would kill me, she never did. She had reason to keep me alive so I used that to try to make this as miserable for her as it was for me. In other words, I used my annoyingly stubbornness to my advantage. It was enjoyable to watch her get angry, though not as much when she actually lashed out.

"Yeah, no," I told her. "I've told you I'm not training to take over the Clans or fulfill whatever other evil things you want me to do."

She laughed. I hated it when she laughed, it always meant bad news. Somehow her laughter was scarier than any amount of her rage. Probably because her fun was sick and twisted. She looked toward me with an almost sympathetic look.

"Oh Deathfire," she sighed. "You always think you're the one in charge. You forget the kind of power I have. I've been avoiding this, but I'm afraid you pushed me to do this." Fear raged inside me, freezing me in place. "I have something to show you."

I stiffly followed her out of the clearing. I heard a soft whimper. The voice sounded familiar. I'm probably imagining things.

"You know how I brought you here?" Lightstar asked. I nodded. "Well then, do you recognize that voice?"

She couldn't mean she brought someone else here, could she? "Hello?" I called out, hoping there was no response.

"Deathfire!" the voice exclaimed. Was that who I thought it was? Surely even she wouldn't. Yet it sounded like Puddlekit. A kit. The fox-heart! "Help me! There was this mean cat!"

"She's a kit," I whispered.

"And you're a disobedient little apprentice," Lightstar told me. "Besides, kits put up less of a fight."

"You wouldn't," I said.

"You know very well I would and will," she responded.

Lightstar stopped. "Where is she?" I asked.

"Look up," Lightstar told me. I did so and saw Puddlekit sitting on the lowest branch of a tree. "Needed a place where you'd struggle getting to her." Now we throw my poor climbing skills into this? Was that really necessary?

"Puddlekit, stay there," I told her. "I'll come up and get you."

"That's the mean cat!" Puddlekit told me. "Right there with you!"

"I know," I responded. "I'm sorry you got caught up in my problem. I'll be right up."

"No you won't," Lightstar told me. "You chose the hard way, you face the consequences."

I darted toward the tree. Lightstar bit my tail, yanking me off my feet backwards. I quickly got up and launched myself at her. I knocked her off balance for a moment, more out of surprise than anything, and managed to land a few blows to her back. She went to roll over, causing me to jump off. I ran toward the tree rather than continuing the fight and began climbing.

Lightstar had gotten back up and latched her jaws onto my scruff, trying to pull me away from the tree. My claws dug deep into the bark as she bit deeper down and pulled harder. There was no way I was holding on. I let go, causing both of us the fall back, me on top of her. She quickly rolled over, her teeth still clamped down leaving me unable to get away. She released her grip, but had me pinned.

"Hey Deathfire, remember when we first fought?" Lightstar asked. "Remember the spot I just dug at?"

"How could I forget?" I responded, suppressing those horrible memories.

"Maybe I should do it again," she told me. "See if anyone recognizes it."

She began clawing into my back, a place already marked by a scar. The familiar digging into my flesh, the sticky wet feeling of blood as it began dripping down my back, the continuous pain that had its own sort of cruel rhythm, the laughter accompanying it all. I could hear Puddlekit's whimpering, the only thing keeping me aware she was still there. The pain, the whimpering, the laughter, the cruelty.

I struggled to keep myself from making any noise showing weakness, if only for my own pride. In this place I was alone yet even then no one was safe. I can't fight her. She knows my every weakness. With that knowledge, she can own me. And she will. I began whimpering myself, but I didn't want her to stop as agonizing as it was because I knew who she'd hurt next.

"You thought you'd get away with your rebellion?" Lightstar asked. "You thought you could go against me?" I was so mouse-brained to think something like this wouldn't happen.

She stopped. The wound still hurt, but it at least wasn't getting worse. Yet things still were getting worse. Lightstar began climbing the tree as I fought to get to my feet. She grabbed Puddlekit's scruff and brought her down. She was going to make me watch whatever she did close up. She sat the kit down.

"Who owns you?" Lightstar asked.

"You do," I murmured.

"Who owns you?" she repeated.

"You do," I answered, louder this time.

"Who owns you?" she repeated once more.

"You own me, Lightstar!" I exclaimed. I dug my claws into the dirt. "I'm yours here, yours to command! I've disobeyed and I deserve whatever punishment you give! I'm yours to do with as you see fit!"

Every word was painful. I had given myself over to her. I had given up. After all, what could I do? She can hurt my friends, the kits, anyone I care about. I fell back to the ground. I looked up at her, her amused expression laced with fake pity.

"How nice. We finally see eye to eye," Lightstar remarked. "We certainly will have fun, won't we? But anyway, back to business. I hope you don't think your punishment is over."

"Please don't hurt her!" I pleaded. "I'll do anything! Just leave her out of this! I'm the one who was a mouse-brain and didn't listen! She doesn't deserve this, I do! You can leave me so broken that the Clan finds me out! Please!"

"It's cute to see you beg," she laughed. "Your sister did the same thing, begging me not to blind her. Then I blinded her. Now, the kit that your crush entrusted in your care dies." She slashed Puddlekit's throat.

"No!" I shouted. Puddlekit wasn't breathing.

"I hope you learned your lesson," Lightstar told me.

"I have," I answered, nodding numbly as I stared at the limp body of the kit.

"Good," she purred. "I'll see you tomorrow night."

I jerked awake, quickly becoming aware of the pain in my back. The wound. I quickly looked at Puddlekit. She was also bloody, and she wasn't moving. I quickly grabbed her and ran to the medicine cat den. It wasn't morning yet so that was good. I set her down and shook Tallblaze awake.

"G'morning Shorty," he mumbled.

"Get up now," I told him. "It's Puddlekit."

"What?" Tallblaze asked, quickly getting to his feet. I just silently led him over to the kit. He looked her over, his expression grim. "She's dead." He looked at me. "What happened?"

"It's all my fault," I murmured, letting myself collapse on the ground as I stared at the body. Tallblaze looked at me expectantly for more, but I didn't say anything.

"Does it have to do with Lightstar?" he asked. I nodded. "Okay, you can tell me about it once you're up to it, but for now I'll come up with a convincing lie for you while I deal with your wounds. To start, here's some thyme. You're definitely in some sort of shock." He sighed when I didn't respond. "Just take the thyme, I'm going to go ahead and get some stuff for your wound."

He first grabbed cobwebs and stopped the bleeding and then used some herbs to make sure it didn't get infected before covering it. He then quickly constructed a nest for me and led me over to it. "Just lay there and get some rest. I'm going to go alert Boulderfang," he told me. "Don't worry, he's not going to be mad at you." He then left me alone with my thoughts.

Boulderfang might not be mad at me yet, but he is going to find out about everything some day and he's going to hate me. Hate me for all this. I wouldn't blame him either, I hate myself for this too. My eyes flicked over to the herb stores and landed on the death berries. I shook my head, trying to get those thoughts out of it.

Boulderfang and Tallblaze entered the den. Boulderfang walked up to me. "What happened?" he asked. I looked down.

"She's probably not going to answer. She's really shaken," Tallblaze told him. "I haven't even got ten words out of her. Though from what I can tell it was just meant to be just a quick kill to cause problems as the other kits are completely fine."

"I'm glad your okay," Boulderfang told me, looking over at the body of his dead kit. He looked back over at me.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. You can't have known what was going to happen," Boulderfang reassured me. "Bad things happen. You can't stop all of them." I can't stop any of them. The two toms looked at each other, obviously somewhat worried.

"I've got things I should be doing, you might want to go be with your other kits since Shorty is staying here for now," Tallblaze told Boulderfang.

"Okay, I'll see you both later," he told us. He left the den. Tallblaze got busy preparing Puddlekit's body for her vigil.

It was obvious they were somewhat suppressing their grief, at least around me. They can be sad or mad or whatever, I can handle it. At least I want them to think I can. I'm not even sure if I can. I curled up into a ball, hoping for the day to pass quickly. But those are the days that pass the slowest.

Author's Note: Uh… Oops? Lol, I can't say oops, this all was 100% intentional. Everything I do to my characters is because I love them tho. I mean, where would they be without the horrible story I force them to endure? Uh, anyway, please leave a review if you'd like! I'll be back with another chapter next week! Blame Lightstar, not me!

-Rowan W.