Chapter 21

"Hey, you took off on me," Darkpaw said. She paused for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not," I answered. "I won't be until Deathfire is safe."

It felt like forever until we arrived back at camp after leaving the Gathering. "Tallblaze, come speak with me in my den," Wingstar told him.

I should tell Boulderfang what we heard. He'd probably want to know, especially since this will make Tallblaze act even more off most likely. He hadn't been the goofy guy he used to be since Deathfire was kidnapped. He was falling apart. I walked over to nursery where Boulderfang was sleeping with his kits. I prodded him awake.

"Can we talk for a moment?" I asked.

"Sure," he responded. We went and sat outside.

"The other Clans will be keeping an eye out for Deathfire," I told him. "Wingstar tried to announce her as dead, but Tallblaze told everyone she was alive and asked them to keep an eye out for her. He's actually getting chewed out by her right now."

"That's good," he said. "I suppose there's something else though?"

"Grasstail came up to me and Tallblaze at the end of the Gathering," I admitted. "He said some things..."

"How'd he say Deathfire is?" Boulderfang asked. "I'm assuming he said something about it."

"He basically just told us she's terrified and weak. She's doing what they say despite the fact she can barely move she's so hurt," I answered. "He may be lying, but I'm not sure he is."

"I don't think he would lie about that sort of thing. After all, there's no point to. We know they're treating her terribly and anything they would say would be bad," Boulderfang responded. "Especially since it's Grasstail. He's always found it fun just to best her and attempt to kill her. It's something he'd do."

"Tallblaze was really quiet afterwards. I think he's just beating himself up more," I told him.

"Yeah, he probably is," Boulderfang sighed. "I miss when he was a goofy idiot constantly trying to annoy everyone. He drove me insane, but it was better than this. I miss the way things used to be when Deathfire would purposely do what I told her not to do just to make me frustrated. She also drove me insane and she was very proud of it. I miss them both in a way. I miss the days when they were both happy because even if they both struggled some and wouldn't show it, they both were overall happy."

"Deathfire was such a troublemaker as an apprentice. She had a good heart, but she'd cause problem after problem. She yowled at a leader twice. She yowled at a warrior once. StarClan, she actually almost fell out of a tree once spying on me. Those weren't the times that mattered though. The day you left with Silentstorm and Songheart was the day we became friends. She told me it wasn't my fault what Flurrytail did and reassured me I deserved to be a warrior. One time, despite me telling her not to, she jumped on Grasstail when I was losing a fight against both him and Murderscar. She almost died, but she didn't care. She just wanted to protect me. And then there was the time Wingstar was blaming my mentorship for her yowling at Lightstar twice and she immediately jumped to my defense. She was constantly struggling with herself and the world, but she never let it make her anything but a great cat who cares about her friends and family deeply."

"I still remember the day she became a warrior. She asked me time and time again if I was sure she passed her warrior assessment and could become a warrior. She did great, but she always doubted herself a lot. She was just so excited though until she remembered neither Duskpelt or Limppaw would be there to see it. She's always just been an excitable, big-hearted, mischievous little cat and just the idea that she's alone and broken... It's terrible. She doesn't deserve it. I'd go and search and not come back until I find her if I didn't have my kits to worry about. I feel bad almost because I know she'd do anything to get any one of us back yet we didn't even try to sneak out after her. She's suffering! And we've barely done anything! She's alone and terrified and falling apart!"

"It's okay. We're trying when we can. We're doing the best we can. She wouldn't fault us," I reassured him. "We'll find her and save her eventually."

"She wouldn't fault us because she always blames herself for everything!" Boulderfang responded.

"Hey, it's not okay. I know that. But getting upset with ourselves will do nothing. Not a thing," I told him. "The only cats at fault are the ones who took her. And Wingstar, I'll blame her too. We'll get Deathfire back somehow. We've always saved the day before, we will again."

"Silkshade, just because you miraculously get out of every situation okay doesn't mean everyone will. She's getting tortured."

"If you don't recall, I don't get out of every situation okay. Not to mention if any cat knows a thing or two about being tortured, it's me. Do you not remember what I looked like when I came back from SunClan? Do you not remember everything that Lightstar did to me? Boulderfang, I gave up completely for a while. I still have moments where I'll get hesitant to leave a den thinking back to my prison. It doesn't bother me that much, but there's still those little moments every so often where my past comes back to haunt me. I get it, Boulderfang, I'm terrified for her. What she's going through. Because I know it's worse than what happened to me. There's no captor's leaving her alone as long as she behaves. There's no decent guards that she knows she's safe under. There's no one who knows where she is except her tormentors. There's no Clan that's willing to go to war over her. She has it worse than I did, I acknowledge that. I don't know what to do. So what I'm trying to do is stay calm and be hopeful because if I don't, I'll completely break down. She's not going to get out of this situation okay. She's not just going to be injured and weak, she's going to be traumatized for life. Is that what you want me to say? That these days are going to haunt her until the day she dies and perhaps then some? Does that make you feel better?"

We sat in silence for a moment before he responded. "I'm sorry. I'm just scared."

"We all are."

"Do you really think it's going to be that bad?"

"It's hard to adjust back to real life after going through something like that and I suspect it will be harder for her than it was for me for the simple fact I do believe she has it worse. She may never be fully the same."

"I just hope we get her back soon before she suffers much more."

"Me too."

We both sat out there a little longer in silence. Wherever Deathfire was out there, we'd find her and we'd bring her home. She'll be safe again someday. I don't care if it costs me my life.

Author's Note: Sorry for posting the chapter a couple days late. Past couple days were… hectic. But hey, here's the chapter! Leave a review if you want and I'll see you back here next week!

-Rowan W.