Chapter 23

"Come on, I know you two can do better than that!" Silentstorm exclaimed.

Where was I? This certainly isn't the warriors den. Oh right, Silentstorm and I had taken the apprentices out to train. But when had I fallen asleep? I should've been helping. I am aware I need as much sleep as I can, but I have a duty to uphold.

"What kind of secrets are you keeping? You can't be that good without some sort of special technique or something!" Meadowpaw exclaimed.

"It's just practice," Silentstorm answered.

"Practice? Don't be modest, you were born with that skill," I remarked.

"Practice and dedication is all it takes to be a great warrior," Silentstorm told me. "How about we take a breather?"

"Sorry if we woke you up!" Darkpaw said, walking over. "We we're going to let you sleep. StarClan knows you need it."

"If StarClan knew I needed it and cared, they'd send Deathfire back," I muttered.

"StarClan can't fix everything," Meadowpaw stated. "They just do their best to guide us and let us do the rest."

I sighed, tired of this blind faith in the whole 'StarClan knows what it's doing' thing. If StarClan actually cared about the good of the Clans, cats like Flurrytail, Grasstail, and Coldclaw would be dead, cats like Lightstar and Wingstar would have never got their nine lives, and neither me nor Deathfire would have suffered being kidnapped and tortured, but here we are. Did StarClan exist? Yes. Did they deserve the amount of devotion the Clans as a whole give them? No. All they did was watch us suffer and do nothing about it, only getting the credit when something good happened. StarClan was just a bunch of ordinary cats but dead. Nothing special about them. Almost no one else got that however; after all, we were taught otherwise. I sighed.

Two moons. It had been two moons. StarClan had done nothing. We were no closer to finding her either; she was long gone. If we hadn't found her yet, there was no way we ever would. We all were beginning to realize it. I had started hoping she'd die because I knew it would be easier than living like that for who knows how long.

I still couldn't believe it had been two moons. Two moons since the last time we all saw her. Two moons since we last goofed around with her. Two moons since everything had gone wrong. How could StarClan allow such a thing? They were supposed to be the good cats who helped the Clans yet they'd done nothing! Nothing to help us find her, nothing to convince Wingstar to search, nothing! Did they not care? Or was this apart of their cruel plan for the future? Did they think this would fix things? Like they thought me leaving for a moon would fix things? Well, I left, and I came back to much worse things. StarClan had no idea what they were doing. They were just over-glorified dead cats who thought they knew what they were doing. Deathfire was gone and there was nothing we could do about it.

I dug my claws into the dirt. Why her? What had she ever done that she would deserve this? Why is it okay that she was taken? Why not me? The Clan would've followed and found me if it had been I they took. Why did Deathfire have to get involved in all this in the first place? It was easier worrying about myself than her and at least I could fight better! Flurrytail is a coward, StarClan is cruel, and life is unfair. There's no other way to look at things.

"You okay?" Silentstorm asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I responded.

"I think we're done for the day," she stated. "Let's all go back to camp."

I nodded. "I'll follow in a moment."

"Hey Silkshade, can I talk to you?" Darkpaw asked hesitantly.

"Sure," I responded. What's this about?

The other two left. We sat in silence for a moment. "I have a question," Darkpaw murmured.

"Ask away," I responded.

She took a deep breath. "Did Flurrytail— Is she the one who—" She paused, getting her thoughts together. "Who kidnapped Deathfire?"

I stiffened, somewhat shocked with the question. I had been expecting it at first, but after two moons I began to believe she wouldn't. Should I really tell her the truth? That her own mother kidnapped a cat to torture? I shouldn't lie to her, she deserves to know.

"According to Tallblaze it was Lilyshade, Skystorm, Grasstail, Coldclaw, and Flurrytail," I answered.

"So she did," Darkpaw concluded. I nodded. "Why? Why would she do something like that? Why would she think it's okay?"

I hesitated. "I—I really don't know. Flurrytail is a bit of a mystery to me. I don't know why she's like this."

She didn't respond. I couldn't help but feel bad for putting this kind of knowledge on her. She had to live knowing her mom was a murderer, a kidnapper, a torturer, and a traitor. It can't be easy. I suppose it's better than lying to her, it would all come crashing down even harder then. Still, this question had to have been eating on her for two whole moons.

"I'm sorry," I told her after a moment.

"Why do I have to be the daughter of that—that fox-heart?" Darkpaw exclaimed. "I'd rather have no mom than be her kit! Why? It would have been better to never have been born than live with this knowledge! Or maybe I should have died instead of my brother, surely that fate was less cruel!"

I put my tail around the angered she-cat. She buried her face into my pelt. "She may be your mother, but family is a choice," I murmured. "You can even disown her if you want."

She sighed. "I just don't know what to think," she responded. "All I know is it hurts."

I didn't know what to say to that. I had been in a lot of bad situations, but for once, I could in no way relate. All I could do was be there to listen.

"How dare you?" Flurrytail growled.

I jumped to my feet, putting myself between Darkpaw and Flurrytail. "How dare I what?" I asked. "This is your fault, you know. You're the one driving your daughter away."

"You know how many times I've told you not to tell cats?" she asked.

"Darkpaw stumbled upon one of your little meetings on her own," I answered. "Again, your fault. You should've been sneakier apparently."

"You accuse me for this?" Flurrytail demanded. "I should kill you here and now."

"Stop it!" Darkpaw exclaimed. "Silkshade is just trying to comfort me because finding out my mother whom I greatly admired has killed and tortured cats has been really hard for me!"

"You're just a child, you wouldn't understand," Flurrytail told her. "Shut your little muzzle and stay out of my business."

"I hate you!" Darkpaw yowled. "I hate you, you fox-heart!"

"No you don't," Flurrytail laughed. "You know you don't. You care for me a lot, whether I'm evil or not."

"Just do me a favor and get out of my life!" Darkpaw exclaimed. "I wish you weren't my mother!"

There was silence for a moment. Then I felt Flurrytail ram into me. Taken off guard, I was pinned in a moment with her claws at my throat. "I should end you," Flurrytail growled. "After all, you're nothing but a bother." She was quiet for a moment, probably thinking. "However, that won't hurt you that much, will it? Why take out my anger on you when I've got my own little thing to play with?"

"Don't you dare," I growled.

"Oh, I've already dared. It's not like you can do anything to stop me!" Flurrytail told me. "It'll be plenty fun. Not to mention it has been a little while since I've visited Deathfire; part of me misses her too, you know. It's difficult not having her around anymore, I have to go to her if I want some fun. Dreadful, isn't it?"

"You will never be my mother!" Darkpaw exclaimed and ran off.

"I guess that's unfortunate," Flurrytail sighed. "But if someone wants to be your enemy, why deny them it?"

"Don't drag Darkpaw farther in this than she has to be," I warned.

"Only if you do the same," Flurrytail responded. "That is my daughter, you know. I care about her."

Flurrytail sheathed her claws and got off me, going back towards camp. I gave her a little space ahead before I followed. I felt bad for Darkpaw, this was hurting her a lot. If only someone understood what it felt like to admit a family member was evil and disown them. Wait, I know this one. How could I forget Boulderfang and Tallblaze? Flurrytail was their sister and they struggled with it a lot for a while! Boulderfang was a bit busy right now, but Tallblaze was a bit depressed. Then again, Boulderfang never seemed outrageously angry about it. Tallblaze definitely seemed more angry. I'd say Tallblaze is our best bet.

I arrived back at camp and began searching for Darkpaw. I found her curled up in her nest. "Hey Darkpaw, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Yeah," she responded.

"Well, I was thinking that you might want to talk to someone who understands your situation a bit better. Someone with an evil family member. Would you be interested?" I asked.

"I guess so," she responded.

I flicked my tail for her to follow and I led her to the medicine den. "Hey Tallblaze, are you busy?" I asked.

"Unless reliving my regrets over and over again in my head counts, no," he responded.

"How about you don't do that?" I suggested. "Anyway, I was wondering if you and Darkpaw could just talk about something that you share in common. She needs a little help."

"And what is the thing?" he asked.

"Coping with having and disowning an evil family member," I answered.

He froze for a moment. "She knows?" he asked.

"She's known for a few moons now," I told him.

"Of course, I'll help," he said. "After all, it's what I'm here for. Not to mention I haven't had much to do."

"Great! I'll leave you two to get to know each other then," I responded.

I left the den, hoping he could help Darkpaw some and that something to do would help him take his mind off everything. I couldn't help but wonder how much longer this all could go on. This problem had been building since my kithood and still was prevalent. Something told me this would be going on for a whole lot longer. I sighed. Every problem has to end sometime, right?

Author's Note: Aw, Flurrytail actually cares about her daughter! How sweet! Now if only she wasn't such a fox-heart… Also looks like we're starting a support group for evil cats' kin. Anyway, in news, I finished writing book 6! Yay! And it look like this is going to turn out to be an 8 book series or maybe even 9. So if you like this series, yay! If you wish I'd stop writing it because you hate it but are nonetheless invested for one specific character, sorry. Anyway, feel free to drop a review, they are appreciated. See you back here next week!

-Rowan W.