Chapter 25

Tallblaze and Darkpaw had been talking some which had been seemingly helping Darkpaw so I was glad for that. Flurrytail was madder than ever, but this was her own fault and I felt no sympathy for her. I was realizing I only had around a moon longer until Darkpaw would become a warrior. Even if we hadn't got along at first, I had become closer to her and would miss training with her every day, even if we'd see each other often as we are in the same Clan.

"Hey Silkshade! Guess what?" Songkit said, running over to me.

"What?" I asked.

"We're becoming apprentices today! Isn't that great?" she asked.

That hit me hard. Deathfire would have loved to be here for this, but she'd be missing it. She had been gone for three moons. Then another thought struck me. It had been six moons since Songheart had died. Was that really so long ago? Were both so long ago? Time had flown in the worst way possible. I knew I was finally getting over Songheart's death, but it made me sad she wouldn't be here for this day. And they were missing their mother-figure as well.

"Songkit, I told you not to run off!" Boulderfang exclaimed.

"I was just telling Silkshade that we were going to become apprentices!" Songkit argued.

"Listen to your father," I told her. "You don't want your apprenticeship to be held back because you can't behave."

"Wait, they can do that?" she asked, horrified. She ran back towards the nursery.

"You're horribly mean," Boulderfang told me.

"But I'm affective," I responded.

"I'm going back over with the kits," he said.

"I'll come with, you probably need help wrangling them," I offered.

"Thanks, I need it. I don't know how I've managed this for three moons, I can't imagine doing this for six moons," he told me.

"I wouldn't know, I'm not exactly a mother or planning to be one," I said.

The two of us walked back over to the kits. "I wonder who my mentor is going to be," Songkit wondered aloud. "I want someone who is super cool and strong. What do you guys want in a mentor?"

"Just someone who knows what they're doing," Gravelkit responded. "I'll be a great warrior no matter what!"

"Well, me too, but I still want a good mentor so I can be better than I would be," Songkit explained. "What about you, Tigerkit?"

"I've already told you, I know who my mentor is going to be," he told her. "I'm not worried."

"Oh right, you're going to be a boring medicine cat," Songkit said. "Have fun with stinky herbs I guess."

"Medicine cats are very important, Songkit," Boulderfang reminded her. "It may not be the right path for you, but you don't need to call it boring."

"But it is," Songkit argued.

"Songkit," Boulderfang warned.

"Fine, medicine cats aren't boring," she sighed. "But herbs are still stinky." Boulderfang also sighed.

"Hey, these are your miracles of life," I told him. "It's your fault they're like this."

"Maybe, but I'm still going to blame Tallblaze," he sighed.

"It's what Deathfire would've wanted," I joked before comprehending what I just said. Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Is Deathfire ever coming back?" Tigerkit asked. "Are you sure she's not dead?"

"Deathfire will be back someday, I promise," Boulderfang answered. "We're sure she's not dead. Now how about you all go run along and tell Tallblaze you all are becoming apprentices today?"

"Okay!" Songkit exclaimed. "Come on guys!"

The three scurried off. Boulderfang sighed; it wasn't his typical annoyed sigh, but more a sorrowful, tired one. He was just as tired as I was if not more; he had much more responsibility than me and no one to take it over for him.

"Deathfire is coming back, I promise," he repeated. He sighed again. "I feel so guilty for feeding everyone else the false hope I live off of nowadays. I can't promise that, I don't know if we'll ever get her back. In fact, at this point I doubt we will."

"I'm sorry, I spoke without thinking," I apologized.

"No, it's fine," he told me. "A couple moons ago I got onto you about false hope and look at me, still clinging to it. I lost Songheart and then I lost Puddlekit to think that three moons ago may have been the last time I saw Deathfire? I can't lose so many cats so close together. I can't! I'm hurting so much because the cats I talk to about this kind of stuff are unavailable, even Tallblaze because even though he's here, there's a piece of him missing. He's not the same cat he was three moons ago. StarClan, are any of us the same cats we were three moons ago? When was the last time our group gathered together just to hang out? When was the last time we all goofed off and joked around?"

"Before Deathfire was taken," I answered.

"Everything is wrong. Everything is so wrong. Deathfire is gone and the world keeps moving like usual but I'm too busy trying to pick up the pieces of what I left behind to keep up. Maybe it would be better if Deathfire was dead! Then at least we wouldn't have to worry and she'd be safe. I don't know if I'm even prepared if we did miraculously find her. How bad off would she be? I remember how you looked the day you came back. How much worse would she be? You said it yourself, she'll never fully heal from this! Are we prepared for that? I just don't know how to handle any of this! There has to be something more we could do, we could've done!"

"We can't change what happened and we can only do so much. I wish there was some way we could fix this too, but we both know it is impossible. We're helpless in this situation, Boulderfang. It's terrible, but it's true. We need to accept that much. There is nothing we can do. I've even questioned giving up because what truly is the point when we're never going to find her? I don't know what to do either. I'm sorry, I can't help."

"I know we're helpless, that's the problem. She'd do anything for us and what have we done besides lose sleep? I wish I could just leave and search until I find her. Why haven't we stalked Flurrytail to see if she leads us to her? Why haven't we threatened her tormentors for information? Why aren't we doing more? If they aren't going to play fair, why should we?" He sighed. "Oh right, my moral code. That's why."

"My moral code says it's okay," I told him.

"No Silkshade, we aren't committing torture," he told me.

"What about stalking?" I asked.

"If someone is going to stalk anyone, it's going to be a cat with two working eyes," he answered. "Also it's too dangerous, if one of us found her alone and they found out, said cat would be dead."

"Fine," I huffed.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather around highrock for a Clan meeting!" Wingstar yowled.

"Well, it's time," he said.

Boulderfang went to go round up his children while I went to sit by Darkpaw.

"Today is a great day. Three kits are becoming apprentices," Wingstar began. "Songkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Songpaw. Your mentor will be Skyfang. Skyfang, you have trained your last apprentice well and you are ready for another. You have proven yourself to be tough yet caring. I know you will pass on all you know to Songpaw."

"Gravelkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Gravelpaw. Your mentor will be Flurrytail," Wingstar continued. I shifted uncomfortably. Boulderfang will not be happy about this. "Flurrytail, you have proven yourself ready for another apprentice. You have proven yourself to be cunning and loyal. I know you will pass on all you know to Gravelpaw."

"Tigerkit, you have chosen the way of the medicine cat. From this day on, until you receive your medicine cat name, you will be known as Tigerpaw. Tallblaze, of course, will be your mentor. Next half moon, you will be presented to StarClan to become a blessed medicine cat apprentice." The gathered cats chanted for the new apprentices. "Meeting dismissed."

"Boulderfang, I'm an apprentice now! Isn't that cool?" Songpaw exclaimed. I walked over towards them.

"Yes, that is great," Boulderfang responded. He still had the sorrowful note in his voice, still not over our earlier conversation although I doubted either of us had a desire to continue it.

"I can't wait to talk to StarClan," Tigerpaw said. "I hope I get to see Puddlekit! And meet Songheart!"

"Congratulations, you three," I told them.

"Thanks!" Songpaw exclaimed. "I'm going to become the best warrior now!"

"Hey, I have a question," Tigerpaw said.

"Ask away," Boulderfang told him.

"Do you think Deathfire will be proud of us when she comes back?" Tigerpaw asked.

Boulderfang was quiet for a moment. We all were. "Of course, she will be," Boulderfang finally answered. "Now how about you all run along and talk to your mentors? After all, you're their responsibility now." They ran off as we sat again in silence.

"I don't like that Flurrytail is Gravelpaw's mentor," Boulderfang finally said.

"I don't either, but who else could it be? They don't let parents train their kits and Silentstorm and I have apprentices. There is truly no other option," I responded.

"I just hope everything goes well," he said.

"As long as they stay out of our issues, they'll be fine," I reassured him.

"That's what I'm worried about," he told me. "Tigerpaw in particular is a really clever cat. I don't want them getting into danger."

"They'll be fine, Tallblaze will keep Tigerpaw out of trouble," I responded. "Well, at least that kind of trouble."

"I hope you're right," Boulderfang told me.

Author's Note: The kits are apprentices! If only the chapter's mood could be happier, yeesh. But this chapter houses what is probably my favorite line in the entire series. "Deathfire is gone and the world keeps moving like usual but I'm too busy trying to pick up the pieces of what I left behind to keep up." I might not like my writing typically, but boy, do I love that line. Sorry for rambling. Anyway, after this chapter, there's only five more until the end. Luckily, the next book is already written so you won't be waiting long after the massive cliffhanger at the end of this book for the next one. I'm warning you now though. Anyway, leave a review if you'd like. See you next week!

-Rowan W