Chapter 28

"So how bad is it?"

I opened my eyes. Light, there was light! They were here, weren't they? I then took in my surroundings. Right, I was in the SunClan medicine den. Everything is fine. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.

"I'm not going to lie, she's severely injured. Several of her wounds are infected. She's not well off, but she'll live," Violetnose answered from outside the den.

"And mentally?" Tallblaze asked. Tallblaze? He was here? I hadn't seen that mouse-brain in moons!

"I don't know. It's only been a little time and I don't know how she usually acts," Violetnose responded.

I fought to get to my feet, only to collapse back in the nest. Mouse-dung.

"What do you think you're doing?" a cat asked. I tensed, looking over to see a dark brown tom.

"I wanted to go see Tallblaze," I answered. "Who even are you?"

"He's talking to Violetnose, he'll see you in a minute. After all, you're the reason he came," he responded. "And I'm Fieldpaw, Violetnose's apprentice." I relaxed a little.

"So how long do you think it will be until she can come home?" Tallblaze asked.

"I'd say at least a moon, and even once she's back she won't be leaving the medicine den for a long time," Violetnose answered. "Look, I know you want to see her and you expect it to be bad, but do not overreact. That's good medicine cat advice in general."

"I'd like to think I'm prepared for the worse, but let's just see how bad it is," he responded.

Tallblaze walked into sight. He seemed much more tired than usual, but I suppose I should have expected that. I hadn't thought too much about how my absence affected my friends. There was a flash of terror in his expression before it morphed into a joyous expression.

"Hi Shorty!" he exclaimed.

"Hey Tallblaze," I responded. "Long time, no see."

"You don't know how much everyone missed you," he told me. "We were all so worried and searched everywhere but Wingstar would only let us search so long and we had to wait until morning and we should've done something more but we didn't and it's all my fault you went through this, I'm so sorry."

"I don't think it's your fault," I said. "It's okay, it's my fault for leaving camp. You guys tell me that stuff is a bad idea, but I did it anyway. Actually, I can't even blame myself this time, it's Flurrytail and her posse's fault. But I'm fine. It's fine. I'll live."

"You're right. I'm just glad you're safe now," he responded.

"So how is everyone doing?" I asked.

"Well, better now that you're safe," he answered. "Boulderfang's been taking the responsibility of taking care of everyone before himself, Silkshade's been absolutely crashing from exhaustion and ticking off Flurrytail simultaneously, and I've been wallowing in self-hate."

"So, you've all been working together to fill my absence by acting like me?" I asked.

"We didn't— Actually, you're right," he responded. "Well then."

"Surely that's not all," I said. "How are the kits?"

"They've been worried about you. Boulderfang has been taking care of them, but they've been apprenticed recently," he explained. "Tigerpaw is actually my apprentice! Skyfang is Songpaw's mentor and, well, Flurrytail was the only one available to mentor Gravelpaw."

I sighed. "I doubt Flurrytail will influence him that much."

"Also Darkpaw knows about her mother being evil and hates her now," he informed me. "Overall we haven't been having any extra problems. Well, Wingstar is worse, but you know. That issue been growing for a long time."

"Darkpaw knows?" I asked. He nodded. "Well, it was only a matter of time. I'm glad she isn't siding with her mother at least."

"Yeah, it is," he agreed. "How are you?"

I looked at my paws, silent for a moment. "I'd rather not talk about it," I murmured.

"That's okay, take your time," he reassured me. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. Are you excited to go back home?"

"Yeah, I am. I can't wait to see how much the kits have grown."

"You certainly won't be happy with how much they've grown. They'll tower over you now. I'm starting to get worried they'll pass me soon enough."

"I don't care how much taller they are, I'll just be happy to finally see them again."

He didn't hide his concern well, that was for sure. What did he expect? Me to act completely normal? He's smart enough, I doubt he did. Then again, I doubt he knew what to expect at all. Even when injured, I'm typically just as energetic and chaotic as usual. I was well aware I was acting off. I was trying to ignore my feelings, however, and his obvious concern isn't helping.

"They'll be happy to see you too," he told me.

"So, Violetnose said I'd be here how long?"

"She said at least a moon, possibly longer. It all depends on when you're ready for travel. Of course, even then you aren't walking so you better not make a fuss about it. Then you'll stay with me until you're fully ready to go back to warrior duties. And not just physically." Yeah, I know what he's implying there.

"I don't care, I just want to get back as soon as possible."

"We all want the same. We really missed you."

"I missed you all too."

"I should probably get back to NightClan. Tigerpaw is probably freaking out over being in charge of the medicine den, even if nothing's going to happen. Just send for me if you need anything; I'm a medicine cat, I can get away with it."

"Tell everyone hi for me."

"Will do. Bye, Shorty! Behave for Violetnose, will ya?"

"I will. See ya soon hopefully!"

He left the medicine den. I curled up in my nest, tired. I think it's about time for a nap. I watched the entrance carefully as I laid there, attempting to get some more sleep. I felt like something was going to go wrong, even if I didn't know what. Tallblaze had been a better distraction than I realized.

Someone began walking into the den. I tensed, digging my claws into the dirt. It was just Snakeheart. I relaxed some, still slightly on edge for whatever reason. I noticed Violetnose shoot me a concerned look. Snakeheart set down a mouse in front of me.

"Hey Deathfire," Snakeheart greeted. "How are you doing?"

"Good," I lied. "It was great to see Tallblaze again." That much was true.

"That's great," she responded. "Well, I just came to drop that off. I have a patrol to lead. I'll see you around!"

"See you," I responded. She left the den. I curled back up in my nest.

"Shouldn't she be eating?" Fieldpaw asked Violetnose.

"I'm not hungry," I answered.

"Fieldpaw, you're a brilliant apprentice, but let me handle Deathfire, okay? I'll certainly use this to teach you some things, but this is far beyond your knowledge," Violetnose told him. "It's somewhat beyond my knowledge, actually. Medicine cats aren't very far along when it comes to mental health and such. This is a lot more complicated than even the several severely infected wounds that she has. And since this is such a complex case, I'm better off handling it as I have more experience. Understood?"

"Okay then," he said, shrugging. "I was just asking."

"Well, thank you for your concern, but I already noticed," she responded. "Also, Deathfire, I do expect you to try and at least eat a little bit sometime today. I understand you may not be hungry, you'll have a bit of a lack of appetite for a while after growing used to eating a lot less. You still have to eat though, you need your strength back."

"Okay," I responded.

"By the way, Fieldpaw, I need you to go out and get some more cobwebs. Yesterday seriously diminished our supply," she told her apprentice. He nodded, leaving. She walked up to me. "As for you, are you okay? You seem a bit anxious."

"No, I'm fine," I responded.

"Deathfire, it's my job to know how cats are doing, I know you're lying," she told me.

I sighed. "Okay, yeah I am. My fight or flight reflex is screaming at me, but there's nothing to fight or flight. I mean, this isn't the first time I've felt panic for no good reason."

"So what you're saying is the last three moons has your anxiety heightened?" she asked.

"Uh, I guess. If that means my typical panic level has gone up. I'm guessing that's what it means in context."

"Yup, that's what it means. If you need thyme to calm your nerves, you can have some."

"I'm fine, I'll get used to it. Just please no more cats in here than there needs to be."

"Of course, they wouldn't need to be in here anyway. How about you take that nap you seem to be wanting and after that you can eat a little bit?"

"I guess so."

I may be out, but I'm not free. I may never be free. All I know is I hated how I felt. Cats and sunlight have both been bad news for the past three moons and now I was surrounded by both. Not to mention who knows what Grasstail and Coldclaw are off doing. I know they're mouse-brains, but are they mouse-brained enough to break into SunClan camp? Then again, they broke into NightClan's camp. I shouldn't be worrying, I'm probably safe. I may never see those two again in my life for all I know.

Of course, with my luck, I'll probably see those two again and it won't be good when I do.

Author's Note: Two more chapters to go! Oh boy! Luckily, things are winding down. Deathfire is safe, Grasstail and Coldclaw are exiled, everything can only get better from here. That's a lie, things can always get worse. But I'm too nice to end a book on a cliffhanger. *has done it before* Anyway, I'm writing a warrior high fic I might publish. Feel free to leave a review! Come back next week as we approach book 5's finale!

-Rowan W.