Well, look at me returning in 2022 to finish this (at last!) I know this has been an incredibly long time coming, so if anybody happens to still be here from way back when, thanks for sticking it out, lol. I have, finally, brought this whole little adventure to a close ;) Chapters are now being posted simultaneously here and on AO3.
Chapter Nineteen
Bay
The week before the race is full of action. People training, racers on the beach, tourists betting and buying trinkets. The shops on Thisby are bustling and I'm busier than ever with deliveries. But Thursday I take a break to train Tempest.
And Puck Connolly.
Sean asked me to meet Puck on the cliffs for him this afternoon. He's been meeting her up here all week, but today Malvern seems to have a particularly personal vendetta for Sean. I stopped by the Yard at the end of my delivery route and Sean asked me to keep his appointment with Puck because he was buried in work. I think it's Malvern's attempt to sabotage Sean - to try to keep him from practicing before the race, so that maybe he'll loose and Malvern will keep Corr.
It's exactly the type of thing Malvern would do. And it's a useless attempt. You could blindfold Sean and tie his hands behind his back and he'd still win the races. I'm not worried about him. But he's obviously worried about Puck - and more so, he doesn't want to let her down. So I find myself riding Tempest out to the clifftop to meet Puck Connolly and her island bay for an afternoon of race training.
When I get up to the top of the cliffs, Puck's already waiting, sitting astride Dove. She looks at me in surprise as I trot up and stop Tempest in front of her. Puck's mouth turns down into a little half-frown before she brings the corners back up into something that looks like a smile.
"Where's Sean?" she asks.
"Hello, Puck."
She sighs. "I'm sorry. That was rude. Hello."
"Sean's working." I lean forward as if we're sharing a little secret. "Malvern's got him so buried he probably won't be done until dark. I think he's doing it on purpose."
Puck scowls for real this time. "I hate Malvern," she mutters.
My mouth quirks up despite myself. Perhaps Puck and I have more in common than I thought. "Huh, me too."
This time, Puck's smile looks real. "So, Sean sent you?"
"Uh, yeah. I guess he did. He...really wants to give you a chance, you know."
Puck looks at me for a long time, as if calculating something. "And you? Do you want to give me a chance?"
I look down and twirl a few strands of Tempest's mane between my fingers to stall. Do I want to give Puck Connolly a chance? A lot of thoughts race through my head, flashes of feelings, snippets of jealousy and confusion. Finally, I look back up at Puck. She's waiting expectantly, her mouth turned down in a little pout.
"At first, I didn't want to," I admit.
"And now?"
"Now? Now I'd really like to see you race on that little pony. Just to show up all the men who think you can't do it." I realize the words are true as I say them. I do want to see Puck race. I want to see her fly down that beach. I want to see her run true while the other racers struggled to keep their capaill from pulling them into the sea.
Puck scrutinizes my face for a long moment, as if trying to decide whether or not to believe me.
"Look, Puck, if I were going to sabotage you Sean wouldn't have sent me out here, trust me."
Puck looks stunned for a second, then she laughs. "Oh, Bay, I don't think you'd sabotage me." But she looks a little more relaxed now. "But you're right. Sean wouldn't send you if he thought you'd hurt me." She says it like it's a fact as steady as the surf on the beach. Then she gives me a devilish grin. "But how do I know Sean sent you?"
"I...what? You'll just have to believe me, I guess. Or you can ride all the way back to the Yard and ask him."
Puck laughs again. "I'm joking, Bay."
"Oh. Right."
"I...trust you."
"Well, thanks. Good." I stumble over the words a little, then clear my throat. "So, are you ready to ride?"
Puck nods.
"I, uh. What does Sean normally do with you?" I realize I never asked Sean how he trained Puck. After the first time I went with him to show Puck a capail uisce, I haven't been out with him and Puck. Sean didn't give me any instructions, either, which leads me to believe it's nothing crazy. I sit a little straighter as I realizes he trusts me with Puck. Or he was so swamped it slipped his mind. But being distracted is not in Sean's nature. Especially not for something this important.
Puck responds after a minute. "We ride. We race. I'm not sure how else to describe it."
I half-smile. "Ok. Do you usually warm-up first?"
She nods.
"Alright, let's walk then." I point out along the cliff edge and nudge Tempest into a walk. Somewhat to my surprise, Puck nods and urges Dove to follow. Dove rides beside Tempest with half an eye on the bigger capail, ears perked and nostrils flared. For Tempest's part, he mostly ignores Dove. For now.
"Where'd you get him?" Puck asks after a minute. She's staring at Tempest with something like awe in her eyes.
"I caught him." I can't hide the pride in my voice. "From the sea."
Puck's eyes widen in admiration.
"Sean helped," I quickly add.
"How do you catch a capail uisce?" Puck asks.
I watch the ground underneath us for a minute before responding. "Well, first you have to create a bond. Or, at least, I did. I went down to the beach and watched the uisce come up out of the water for a while before I picked Tempest. After that...well, it was a matter of figuring out how to lure him up alone. And then forming a bond with him so that I trusted him enough not to eat me." After a beat, I added, "And scaring Sean Kendrick senseless."
Puck looked over in surprise. "You scared Sean Kendrick?"
I chuckled, remembering the night I called Tempest out of the sea. "Yeah. For a second. I called a capail uisce out of the water. I don't think even Sean's done that."
"Are you bragging?" Puck asked with a wry twist to her mouth.
"Maybe," I admit.
"What do you mean, he hasn't called a capail?" she asked a moment later.
"Well, he didn't summon Corr, you know. Corr was...his dad's first." I get quiet when I mention Sean's dad. I don't know what he's told Puck about his father or how much he'd like me saying without him around.
"I know," Puck whispers.
We ride in silence to the end of the cliff, then start back to where we began.
Puck chews the inside of her lip, like she's thinking hard about something. Finally, she asks, "Why do you do it, Bay?"
"Huh?"
"Why do you ride the capaill uisce? Aren't you scared?"
I think about it for a moment. Am I scared? I'm terrified. We all are. But am I scared of Tempest? Probably less than I should be. Am I scared to ride in the races? Absolutely. But I'm also excited.
"Of course, I'm scared," I say. "But I don't think any of this is about fear, Puck. It's about doing what makes you free even if it terrifies you."
"Will racing set you free?" Puck asks.
"At first, I thought it would. Now? I'm not so sure. But it's too late to back out now. And I'm not lying when I say the money would be nice."
Puck gives me a wry smile. "Seems like we've got something in common then."
"Is that why you're racing? The money?"
She shrugs, but she frowns. "Yeah. That and...some other things."
"You know we can't all win, right?" I ask. It's a test and I make no pretenses that it isn't.
She seems to deflate. "I know," she answers quietly. "I'm trying not to think about it."
"Sorry," I mumble.
"'S ok. It's the truth. I mean, it is every year, isn't it? There's only one winner and it can't be everybody."
I nod. It's been Sean for the last four years. Why should we expect it to be different this year? What in the world makes me and Puck think we've got a chance against Sean? I guess what makes everybody else think that they have a chance against him. That wild, indescribable hope that maybe one day, they'll be the winner. That they won't die, that they won't bleed out on the sands. That they'll at least live to try another year.
"What will you do if you don't win?" I ask.
Puck blinks, eyes suspiciously misty. "Honestly? I don't know."
I don't press her. I can tell she's telling the truth and that she's staked everything on this race. At the beginning, I thought I had too, but now I'm starting to think there's less riding on this race than I thought. I've learned a lot about myself, my family, since I put my name on that blackboard and maybe I'm not the same girl that walked into the butcher's shops all those nights ago, or stood on the rock with Peg and pledged to ride.
"Well," I look over at Puck as we pull our horses to a stop at the back edge of the cliff. "Let's make sure you don't lose then."
She looks up in surprise as I kick Tempest into a gallop back down the clifftop. But she's grinning as she spurs Dove to follow. Our hoofbeats thunder across the grass in tandem, the wind whipping at our hair.
In this moment, we are gloriously free.
The next morning, I'm up early, heading into Skarmouth to start my deliveries for the day. The early morning streets are full of people going to work, the smell of fish from the docks, and the smell of bread from Palsson's. I like the way Skarmouth feels in the morning. Everyone going somewhere with a purpose, the island ticking like clockwork. I run into Sean Kendrick looking dark and serious, walking up the street as I come out of the butcher's shop with an armload of packages.
"Good morning!" I call as I pack Selkie's saddlebags with brown-paper wrapped meat.
Sean nods at me and crosses the street. He stops at Selkie's nose and strokes my little black horse.
"You look darker than usual," I say. "What's on your mind?"
"Puck asked me over for dinner," Sean says. I hide a grin by bending down to get my next armful of packages. Only Sean Kendrick would treat a dinner invitation like an impending storm.
"Last night?" I ask. She must've gone over to the Yard after we practiced.
"Yes." Sean's tone of voice is cautious, like he's trying to suss out my reason for asking.
I stand back up and look over at him. He's purposefully looking at Selkie and not me.
"Well, are you going?" I arrange more packages on Selkie's back.
He shrugs. "I don't know. I have a lot to do at the Yard."
"You always have a lot to do at the Yard," I say. "That didn't stop you from putting your name on the board at Gratton's. Or going to the Scorpio Festival. Or training Corr."
"That's different."
"No, that's familiar."
Sean looks up sharply.
I make sure I'm studiously tying a knot in the rope holding my packages together.
"I ride horses, Bay. I don't go to dinner."
"Well, you have to eat sometime, right? What difference does it make whether you do it at Puck's house or in your flat?"
"Because I'd be a guest in Puck's house."
"I think you'd make a good guest."
"Seriously, Bay. I don't remember ever going to anyone's house for dinner. Malvern doesn't count. He only asks me to dinner when he wants to flaunt or demand I do something for him."
"Puck just wants you."
Sean pauses in scratching Selkie's neck. "I can't show up to Puck's house as just me."
"Why not? You show up everywhere else as just you."
"Because…" Sean sighs. "Because I don't think death and the sea are a good thing to bring to Puck Connolly's house."
"Then don't bring her death and the sea," I say. "Bring her…" I look down the street, thinking of what Sean could bring Puck that Puck would like. Flowers are too unlike Sean, and besides, it's October. Too late for flowers. Trinkets are too unlike Puck and would seem like an empty gesture. Then I catch the scent of the bakery on the wind and I nod. "Bring her bread," I say. Bread is practical. And edible. Two aspects Puck will appreciate.
"Bread?" Sean raises one eyebrow skeptically.
"You know, the stuff from Palsson's? That goes with practically anything and tastes like heaven?" I lick my lips as I describe it. I've yet to meet anyone from Thisby who will turn down a Palsson loaf.
"I know what bread is, Bay," he says wryly.
I grin. "Great, then you're off to a good start."
"You're mocking me."
"I would never." I finish securing the packages and walk up to Sean, on the other side of Selkie's head. "I think dinner at Puck Connolly's house will be fun, Sean. Besides, you should take the night to relax and spend time with her. The races are almost here. We don't know what Thisby will look like when they're over. You might not have this chance again." My voice catches at the end and I hide it by wiping a sleeve across my face.
Sean looks at me steadily over Selkie's nose. He doesn't deny it. We both know that nothing after the races is certain. He sighs.
"Here, I'll give you a leg up," he says.
He stands by Selkie's stirrup and laces his hands. I put my foot in his cupped hands and mount Selkie, settling in amongst the packages of grains and meats and tack. I pick up the reins, but I'm not letting Sean off the hook that easily. I look back down at him. He stands by my stirrup looking down the street.
"So, will you go?" I ask.
"If I can decide which bread to buy," he says.