Meeting Mr. Magne
Author's Note: Another thank you to everyone who has read up until this point. Having readers always motivates me to keep going! And I can assure you, this chapter may be my most interesting one thus far. But you be the judge of that. :)
Happy Hotel Lobby
Douglas sat down and read some newspapers in hopes of finding some information about his next potential target. He was eating a sandwich Vaggie made for him, and kept a constant smile on his face as the egg bois received their room keys one by one. He continues to relax and enjoy himself while-
Happy Hotel Balcony
Douglas is suddenly teleported to the penthouse balcony in a chair next to the table across from Alastor. The radio demon had an intimidating grin on his face, though he intended to remain happy looking, Douglas could sense his inner frustration.
"Alastor, what an odd surprise for me to show up at absolute random." The holy warrior said with a slightly sarcastic tone. "Can I... help you?" He asks while raising an eyebrow curiously. The radio demon continues to smile darkly as he speaks.
"Help for me is one thing but help for another is impossible at this point in time." He states. Douglas pauses for a moment.
"Uh... what are you saying?" He asks curiously. Alastor snaps and a photo of Mimzy levitates next to him.
"Take a look at this chubby sweet cake." He instructs. "This charming woman is someone I had no real romantic feelings for myself, but she was my admirer and a true friend of mine." He states before glaring darkly with his eyes. "She was murdered a few minutes ago due to your irresponsible tactics." He says with audible frustration in his voice.
"What?" Douglas asks. "What do you mean murdered? Do you mean someone else came from Heaven to kill demons? Because I didn't do it." He says defensively. Alastor snaps and the picture of Mimzy vanishes.
"I'd like you to pull out two things. Your list and your strongest weapon." The radio demon instructs.
"Alright, fine," Douglas responds as he sets his list and Glock on the table in front of him. Alastor picks up the gun and examines it from different angles.
"Hm, this gun doesn't look quite like the one you showed me the last time we spoke." He states. "And it doesn't look superior to that model either." He comments before staring at Douglas in an interrogative grin. "Did you model this one yourself?" The young warrior shakes his head.
"No sir, this happens to be a spare Glock I was given." He says, causing Alastor to chuckle darkly.
"Well then I think you may know what this means." He says as he grabs the list and points to a TV demon. "This vile creature was close to Velvet, and now he's obtained the very same weapon you lost the night you slept with her." Douglas facepalms.
"I did not sleep with Velvet!" He exclaims. Alastor points at another demon wearing heart sunglasses.
"Do you recognize this man?" He asks. Douglas flinches.
"Yeah, that's the guy who tried to get me to sleep with him once I walked into the studio!" He exclaims in frustration. Alastor hands both the gun and the list back to Douglas.
"Well if you haven't learned yet, these two men are very powerful, and now you've killed Velvet, the girl who brought the porn studio and the 666 news higher ratings than they've ever seen before is gone." He states as he points to one of the corners. "And you see that owl person?" The radio demon asks. Douglas stares at the photo of a black owl wearing a glaring top hat.
"Yeah, what about him?" He asks curiously. Alastor's smile shrinks into an intimidating smirk.
"That man has more hitmen in his pocket than anyone else in Hell. He's funded both of the other gentlemen, and he's taken sex slaves from the man in the sunglasses, all while this media was covered up by the tyrant with the virtual face." He says as he points at Douglas and raises his staff, the list levitates in front of the holy soldier's face and the two crossed-out ones glow. "You have already killed both the oldest and youngest overlords in Hell, and the people around them are only going to become more dangerous the longer they're kept alive." He warns.
"What should I do?" Douglas asks, genuinely uncertain, and worried about what may happen next. Alastor teleports the list and pistol back into Douglas's pockets.
"Well son, I knew the Armageddon was coming, but I had no clue it would be a teenage boy who brings it." He chuckles and glances at the sky. "I pictured a large angel with great strength or even a small nun who would come and drown all of Hell out with holy water" He then makes eye contact with the young warrior again. "But instead they sent you. Someone younger, and someone with far more spirit to exterminate those of us the rest of the exterminators don't dare to mess with each cleanse." Douglas frowns lightly.
"Alastor, I understand my goals as well as you do, but tell me. What are you suggesting?" He enunciates.
"I'm saying that with Cherri, Tom, and now Mimzy shot by the deadliest pistol Hell has ever seen, your mere presence alone is a threat to everyone's life here." His smile shrinks into a small smirk. "Tell me my friend from the other side, do you intend to kill overlords? Or everyone in Hell no matter how much or little power and hope they have at living their eternity?" Douglas rapidly shakes his head.
"No, no, no! Overlords only!" He exclaims panicking. "I was told no sins would be added to my judgment, but I don't want to kill anyone who isn't a threat!" He clarifies. Alastor smiles and nods.
"Then my only suggestion, do it faster." He recommends. Douglas sighs and nods.
"Well I promised Charlie I wouldn't kill anyone today, but if people are dying around me, I better finish my job before things get too ugly." He pulls out his list and looks over it again. "By the way, was that lady's life at stake what prevented you from immediately attacking Sir Pentious?" The radio demon nods.
"Shameful as I am to admit it, I haven't smitten a single soul in Hell. I built my power up by tearing other stronger beings down, and Pentious was far inferior to my capabilities." He then lowers his eyebrows. "But I know Vox will pay for Mimzy's execution. The longer he's alive, the more devastating his defeat will become." Alastor says in an evil tone. Douglas flips the list toward him.
"Sir, I understand the needs of many outweigh the needs of a few, so I'm ready to fight the next overlord now." He drags his finger across the side of the parchment to point at them. "Of these remaining overlords, who would I have the best chance at beating?" He asks. Alastor shrugs and sits back in his chair.
"What can I say? You have a gun, don't you? Your best bet is shooting the man who sits before you right now." He states, causing Douglas to sigh.
"Alastor, I don't want to kill you." He admits.
"I wouldn't either." The radio demon responds. "But if it's for the greater good of Heaven, perhaps you should shoot." He squints. "After all, you did just say the needs of many outweigh the needs of a few." The young warrior sighs.
"Alastor please, all joking aside. I really need to know who I should go after next." He remarks. Alastor nods.
"Well son, this is going to hurt you, but here's who I recommend." He states as Lucifer's photo glows. Douglas's eyes widen a little.
"Isn't this Charlie's dad?" He asks with worry. Alastor nods.
"Indeed. He's the King of Hell and one of the strongest beings in the history of the universe." He smirks teasingly. "A perfect opponent for a rookie like you." He states.
"Are you insane?! If this guy is really that powerful, how the hell do I have a better shot against him than the others?!" He asks fearfully. Alastor smirks and stares directly into Douglas's eyes.
"Do you believe in God?" Alastor asks casually. The young warrior's heart stops the moment he hears this. "If you're truly convinced that God is on your side, then your power is far more likely to triumph over the man who betrayed God than literally anyone else in Hell."
"Well... yes but..." Douglas begins to say, however, he's unable to finish the sentence.
"Then would you like some help getting there?" The radio demon asks. Douglas holds up his index finger.
"I'm honestly a little scared to face him this early!" He exclaims. Alastor sighs and smirks darkly.
"So you're in favor of more people in Hell dying?" He asks. Douglas sighs deeply.
"No, I just..." He sighs and holds his head down. "I really promised Charlie I wouldn't kill anyone today no matter what. If I'm breaking this promise, how do you think she'll take it if I kill her own father?" He asks. Alastor closes his eyes and thinks for a second.
"Because lad, your mission is to kill the overlords. The longer you're here, the more casualties Hell will receive. But if you finish sooner, no more non-overlords will need to perish." He raises his staff. "Ready to go?" Douglas holds his hand out.
"Wait! One more question!" He exclaims. Alastor lowers his staff and raises an eyebrow. "What's gonna happen to Hell after all the overlords fall?" He asks. Alastor shrugs and raises his staff.
"I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that yet. Goodbye friend from the other side." He raises his staff and Douglas disappears.
Magne Palace
Douglas reappears right inside the palace behind the front doors. He looks around and sees a ton of interesting things. There was a red carpet that leads up a staircase and two large doors next to said staircase. Neither door was closed though, and it appeared one lead to the kitchen and another to the basement. But the thing that interested Douglas the most is the giant photos across the ceiling walls. He noticed the stairway leads higher than the ceiling to the current level, but he wasn't sure if he should climb up or check out another room first. There are no butlers or guards around, which surprises him a little. He decides to put one hand in his pocket at all costs in case he needs to shoot as he steps forward. He soon hears a little bit of chatter downstairs.
"Huh?" He mumbles quietly. He enters the door on the right and makes his way down a red carpet of stairs leading to a large room with a long table with a gold tablecloth. Seven demons were sitting there at different chairs, and the one who's back was turned towards Douglas was talking.
"So yeah, my parents are now working with the wealthiest demon in Hell to ensure death to the strongest angels in Heaven!" He says. The other six all begin to cheer in a hearty way.
"Yeah!"
"That's what I'm talking about!"
"Atta boy Sevy!"
"Oh yeah." The guy says as Douglas silently slips closer until he reaches the bottom of the stairs. He's certain the carpet is what silenced his footsteps. "What can I say? Now that the young slut and old hag are gone, the rest of us overlords are gonna make sure Heaven pays the price." He lowers his eyebrows evilly. "It's the void for all of those who chose God over Satan." Douglas raises an eyebrow.
"The void?" He mumbles to himself. Suddenly the guy turns his head around, all of them gasp for a moment upon seeing him, but moments later, the guy seemingly in charge grimaces at him.
"Well, well, well. Look what we have here. An intruder at the Magne Palace." He says as the other demons chuckle a few times. Douglas examined his face. He looks like some sort of sea creature, but the only thing that really makes that decipherable are his greenish-yellow teeth and pale-teal clothes. The top hat on his head looks like a somewhat mutated green fish matching the color of his clothes.
"Yes, I'm an intruder," Douglas says a little uncertain. "But I'm only here to see Mr. Magne." He states. The group of demons chuckle as their leader just grins at him the entire time.
"Haven't you heard the only way to see our king is to buy a ticket in advance and come to a performance?" He asks as he and the other six stand up from their chairs and give him evil looks. "Intruders are to be executed." He says harshly. Douglas takes a step back.
"I want no trouble from any of you. But I must speak with Lucifer." Douglas states. "If any of you guys would guide me to him, I'd really appreciate it." He says trying to be polite.
"Ha! You sound a lot like my ex-girlfriend Charlie." He says, causing Douglas to flinch.
"Who are you?" He asks, expecting him to keep his name silent.
"Is this guy for real?" One of the demons asks. The fish boy's smile shrinks for a moment.
"The name is Seviathan. Seviathan von Eldritch." He states as he steps a few inches closer, Douglas shivers as he notices the boy is almost half a foot taller than him. "And I'm heir to the throne of Hell." He states. Douglas raises an eyebrow.
"Wait, are you Lucifer's son?" He asks. The demons behind him laugh loudly.
"This kid is dumb!" One exclaims.
"You bet he is! So clueless!" Another says. Seviathan's smile grows as Douglas's frown grows.
"Not at all. I just happen to have the blessing to marry his daughter, and though that day may not be today, she'll come around eventually. We've got eternity in Hell for that." He says. Douglas gives a neutral frown.
"I'm sorry to rain on your parade, but Charlie's in a relationship with a girl right now." He says. The demons laugh louder, this time Seviathan joins them.
"Dude, you are too funny!" The aquatic duke exclaims. Once Douglas folds his arms they stop laughing, realizing he's serious. "I mean come on. You think Charlie is gonna choose some one-eyed lesbian peasant over a sharp-dressed rich duke like me?" He asks. Douglas shrugs.
"I don't know, you don't seem like the nicest guy around." He says with an annoyed look. Seviathan chuckles.
"Of course not. You think people in Hell get their charm for being nice?" He asks before holding up his pointer finger. "Besides, are you aware that her current girlfriend hates men?" He asks. Douglas frowns.
"I can understand having trust issues, but that doesn't make her a bad person." The holy soldier clarifies. The demons chuckle again.
"She's not bad huh?" One says. Seviathan nods.
"Exactly my point. If she's not evil, she'll never have the strength to take the throne once Lilith and Lucifer give it up. And even so, unlike that purple girl, I actually have King Lucifer's blessing to marry Charlie. She doesn't and she never will." He states. Douglas shrugs.
"Well don't you think maybe you'd have a better shot if you helped her out with her hotel?" He asks. The other six demons laugh again, but the duke just stands there with a smirk similar to Alastor's.
"Dude, are you a rich kid who grew up with a very fortunate family?" He asks. Douglas shakes his head as he continues. "Well even in Hell, God has made choices over who's rich and who isn't. If you're someone like me who never has the need to work a day in his afterlife, you're definitely not going to worry about butlering a bunch of less fortunate peasants who want a place to stay."
"But what if you're trying to help them turn good? So they can leave Hell and go to Heaven?" The young warrior asks. The demons laugh louder than ever before as Seviathan smirks largely and tries to hold in his laughter.
"This kid is the best!" One shouts as he pounds his fist on the table.
"Yeah! Lucifer should hire him on stage!" Another one exclaims as they all lean over the table and start to mess up the fine tablecloth indirectly.
"Please, dude! You're gonna give us all a heart attack!" Seviathan exclaims as he finally lets out his laughter. His face then resumes to normal. "But seriously kid. If a duke sends all his peasant's souls to Heaven, then who would he rule over?" He asks. Douglas shrugs.
"I don't know, but how much power do you really have if you're not biologically related to the royal family or in a confirmed marriage with the princess?" He asks. Seviathan smirks and sets his hand on Douglas's shoulder.
"Why buddy, my family is the strongest family the Magnes know." He turns around and glances at his friends. "Can one of you grab me a sword please?" He asks. One of them pulls out a long pitch-black sword and tosses it to Seviathan. "Thank you." He says as he faces Douglas. "Tell me buddy, have you ever sword fought before?" Douglas shakes his head.
"No. I'm not really into blades. The Grim Reaper's scythe hurt me a little more than most." He says. Seviathan chuckles and stops touching him, taking a step back a little.
"Well, I've got some bad news for you, my man. Remember what I said happens to intruders?" Douglas's heart stops.
"Ex-execution?" He asks nervously, sliding his ice-cold hand into his pocket to grab his gun. Seviathan nods.
"Right on my dude! This is your ultimate test. You and I will fight, and if I win, you enter the void." He states, causing Douglas to raise an eyebrow again. What could this 'void' mean? "And if you win, well... let's just say that won't happen. I've never lost a single sword-fight in my life or even received a cut." He says darkly. Douglas holds his hand out.
"Wait a second, don't I get a sword too?" He asks. The demons chuckle darkly as Seviathan's smirk lowers.
"If you come to a sword fight, it's customary that you provide your own blade." He says as he takes a few steps back. Footsteps are heard coming down the stairs, but nobody pays attention to them.
"Wait a minute!" Douglas shouts as he holds his hands out.
"En Garde!" Seviathan shouts as he lunges forward and attempts to stab him.
"CEASE!" A loud voice calls out, stopping the fish boy in his tracks, the sword less than three inches from Douglas's chest. The holy soldier turns around to see a man with a white and red top hat and an apple staff. He has unusually stylish blond hair and very shiny white teeth.
"Sir? What are you doing here?" Seviathan asks, nervously retracting his sword and putting hit behind his back.
"I heard a bit of a ruckus." He says as he softly sets his hand behind Douglas's back. He feels odd about this. This man's hand oddly doesn't make him feel uncomfortable or threatened. "Are you okay son?" He asks. Douglas notices his voice sounds very young for a man of his appeared age.
"Yeah, I think so." He states as the man faces the other demons.
"Seviathan, what did I tell you about greeting intruders?" He asks. Seviathan stammers.
"Uh, kill them?" He asks. The man shakes his head.
"Not at first. At least get to know who they are first. This young man doesn't seem that threatening." He says as he holds his other hand out. "What's your name lad?" He asks.
"My name is Douglas." The young warrior says as he shakes his hand. "Are you King Lucifer?" He asks.
"As a matter of fact, I am!" He states as they shake hands. "And you look like the finest lad I've seen in decades!" He says enthusiastically.
"Hey, what about me?!" Seviathan asks. Lucifer chuckles and rolls his eyes.
"Come on Seviathan, sometimes you need to share the spotlight with a younger boy." He says half-joking, half-serious. The aquatic duke glares.
"Whatever Lucy." He responds in a sassy tone. Lucifer gives him an evil smirk as he continues. "How about you take your new friend upstairs before I puncture him like a juice box?" He says threateningly, aiming the sword towards Douglas. Lucifer raises his staff for a moment and the sword turns into a cardboard paper towel sword. "Hey! That was an expensive weapon!" Seviathan pouts immediately after.
"Not anymore." Lucifer taunts while metronoming his finger at him. "And I'll be sure to tell your parents about your attitude later." Seviathan begins steaming at this comment, but the demons behind him start chuckling.
"Arg! Just get lost!" The fish boy says in frustration while pointing the paper towel roll at the staircase. Lucifer smirks savagely.
"Whatever you say, Colonel Cardboard." The king reacts, causing Douglas to start laughing. "Come on son," Lucifer says as he pulls Douglas up the stairs with him by hand. The young warrior hears the demons continue laughing at Seviathan's expense until they get upstairs. He has so many questions for the king.
"So, you're Lucifer? King of all Hell?" Douglas asks curiously. The humble man chuckles and nods charismatically.
"Why yes, I am!" He exclaims proudly as he raises his staff. "I'm also a man of many talents on stage!" He says as a bunch of items appear around him. "I can juggle!" He says tossing five balls in the air and catching them respectively as they come to his hands.
"Whoa!" Douglas exclaims in awe. The king suddenly summons a puppet over his arm.
"Hey Gerald, how are you doing today?" He asks, then begins speaking for the doll. "I don't know sir, I've been a little down lately." He gives the doll a high-pitched voice, then makes a mock sad gloom. "Awe Gerry, what's wrong?" He asks the puppet dummy. "I had my left side removed," He begins to say, both Lucifer and the puppet turn towards Douglas. "But now I'm alright." He delivers the punchline, causing Douglas to burst out in laughter.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" He fails to contain his laughter. "That was hilarious, ha!" He exclaims. Lucifer smiles and his props disappear.
"Why thank you, Douglas, you may be my newest fan." He says rather humbly before pointing up the stairway. "In fact, might I offer you a tour of our palace? It took over two centuries to build all this, and we're still adding more to it year by year!" He says enthusiastically. The holy soldier pauses for a moment and thinks.
*What is this man playing at? He doesn't seem like a bad guy, but he's known to be one of the evilest beings in the history of the universe. If I let him show me the palace, he'll probably take an opportunity to stab me while I'm off guard! Or he'll throw me into an incinerator... or worse! Why haven't I just shot him by now? Am I really letting myself hold back? This is Lucifer Magne, and I have to kill him!* He thinks, reluctantly sliding his hands into his pocket and gripping the handle of his Glock silently. Just as he's ready to draw and shoot, the king holds his index finger up.
"I've got it, Douglas! Perhaps you need a little song to persuade you!" He says as he raises his staff. The young warrior raises an eyebrow.
"A song?" He asks. The king nods as a microphone appears in his hand.
"As I've said, I'm a man of many talents, and if you're going to spend life in Hell, you'll soon get to see them all." He remarks. "I've written a dedication to the current tragedy going on in our world."
"A tragedy?" Douglas asks. "What do you mean tragedy?" He asks, not sure what the king means. Lucifer sighs and faces the window.
"Why don't I show you what I mean through a small song?" He asks. "In the style of a medieval minstrel." He states. Douglas lets go of the gun and folds his arms.
"Alright sir, you have my attention. Try to enlighten me through entertainment." He asks. Lucifer nods and turns on the mic.
"The holy Heaven's soldier is here, see the townsfolk panic in fear." He sings as the illusion of people in the streets fearing appears next to him. "See what happened on the news, I can tell our lives are screwed." Douglas gasps at the sight of Tom Trench falling to the ground.
*Oh dear lord!* Douglas thinks as the king faces him and continues the song.
"The warrior will smite everyone, everybody inside Hell." Illusions of Velvet, Niffty, and Pentious appear. They fall when mentioned. "Prostitutes, maids, a dorky-ass snake," then the illusion of the Happy Hotel appears. "And even the new Hazbin Hotel." Douglas flinches upon hearing that last line.
"Not the Hazbin Hotel!" Douglas exclaims, feigning fear. Lucifer teleports the mic away and steps closer to him.
"Tell me about it! If the man who killed those guilty souls goes there..." He glooms and removes his hat, revealing his stylish blonde hair. "Something could happen to my thoughtful, wonderful, innocent daughter." He says sadly. Douglas raises an eyebrow.
"Would you by chance be referring to Princess Charlie?" He asks. The king begins to smile lightly.
"Do you know her?" He asks. Douglas gives him a thumbs up.
"You bet I do." He says happily before giving him a daring grin. "And I promise if that holy menace wants to touch her, he'll have to go through me first!" He pledges. Lucifer chuckles and pats him on the back.
"You my friend, are one brave kid." He says as he points up the stairs. "Might I please show you the palace?" He asks before whispering something by surprise. "This could be your home one day." Douglas flinches upon hearing that. They both begin walking up the stairs.
"What does that mean sir?" He asks. Lucifer smiles.
"Well, I was thinking you look like a tough kid. You seem fearless over the thought of some boy from Heaven killing you, and you have more muscle tone than anyone else in this building!" He compliments. "How would you like to become one of our knights?" He offers. Douglas pauses. He knows he can't accept the offer without either betraying God, or backstabbing Lucifer later, but he's intrigued by the instant offer.
"Well sir, it sounds like a real honor, but wouldn't you need to give me a quest before I gain my knight status?" He asks. They reach the top and appear near a large drink dispenser with a brownish-yellow liquid.
"I mean, perhaps I could send you to the Hazbin Hotel to make sure Alastor isn't molesting my daughter." He says as he grabs a cup and dispenses some of the drink. Douglas's eyes widen for a moment. He then gives him a confused frown.
"Alastor is asexual. He's not gonna get in touch with Charlie... literally." He mumbles. Lucifer turns the dispenser off as his cup is full.
"Well when you have a full eternity in Hell, you never know when the most innocent abstinent souls are going to change their ways. Anyone who's sober today may be a parent tomorrow." He says before taking a large sip of his drink. "Just ask my wife."
"What do you mean?" Douglas asks. Lucifer has a bit of a flashback.
Flashback
Lucifer and his demoness queen lie in bed just after a heated round of intercourse. Both of them are warm and breathless as they begin to relax.
"That sure was one helluva time Apple Pie." The queen tells him.
"You said it, Lily," Lucifer responds.
"And you did remember to use protection, right?" She asks. Lucifer's smile begins to shrink.
"Um well... funny story Lily." He says as her eyes shoot open and stare at him. "When you called me Daddy, I kinda thought..." He chuckles a couple of times as a raging glare appears on her face.
"LUCIFER!" She screams.
Present:
The king shivers a little in place, the liquid in his cup beginning to create a wave that goes upward and downward as he moves. Douglas taps the king on the shoulder to snap him out of it.
"Sir, are you okay? What do you mean just ask your wife?" He asks. Lucifer glooms and looks down at his drink.
"I don't want to talk about it." He says in a down tone. His smile slowly makes his way back to his face as he holds his cup out. "By the way, you wanna try a sip of this delicious drink?" He asks. Douglas flinches.
"I'm only sixteen! I'm not drinking a beer!" He exclaims as the king laughs a little.
"Relax, it's apple juice." Lucifer clarifies as he grabs another cup and holds it out. "Here, feel free to get a little for yourself." He states generously. Douglas holds his hand out and waves it.
"No thanks. I'm really not thirsty." He says quickly. The king sighs and looks at his watch for a moment.
"Well, it's almost 6:00 P.M. I'd better speak to my wife before dinner." He says as he enters a room. Douglas thinks about following him, but he sooner realizes he'd rather not. He pulls out his list and stares at Lucifer's picture.
*Why does Tytus want him dead? He's the nicest king in history!* Douglas thinks. *At first I couldn't understand why Charlie was so kind and loving, but now I clearly see her father Lucifer raised her to be compassionate. I'll never know for sure why God banished him from Heaven and killing him will only make me feel like I belong in Hell more.* He thinks shamefully. Momentarily, a much taller woman with dark red horns and a thin prickly crown steps out of the room.
"Excuse me, young child." She says in a very deep voice. Douglas shivers internally once he looks into her eyes. She had to be at least six-nine in height alone, and her dark purple dress and large eyelashes only eluded the sheer intimidation in her otherwise shiny silver eyes.
"Y-yeah?" Douglas asks in a quiet voice, visibly fearing the taller woman. She closes her eyes and holds out an arm, to present the cider dispenser.
"I have no quarrel with you whatsoever, but my husband worked very hard on perfecting the recipe for this apple cider, and I'd much rather you try it than refuse." She states before her intimidation drops and she makes a slight gloom. "He has very sensitive feelings, and I'd be very sad to see you hurt them."
"Oh, okay," Douglas says as he grabs a cup and starts dispensing some cider into it. "I'm sorry if I hurt his feelings, I'm just not much of an apple person." He states. "I've always been more into pumpkins." He says as the cup fills up and he stops dispensing.
"Pumpkins?" She asks. "You do have an interesting taste preference dear boy." She comments before smiling lightly as he begins sipping the drink. "Do you like it?" She asks.
"Mhm!" Douglas hums as he continues to drink. He stops for a moment. "It's really good!" He exclaims as he continues chugging the delicious liquid. The large woman chuckles softly.
"Well, that's a delight." She says as she extends an arm. "By the way, I'm Queen Lilith, Lucifer's wife." She introduces. Just as Douglas is about to shake her hand, a snake slithers around her arm and hisses softly at him.
"AH!" Douglas shrieks as he jumps back in fright, spilling a bit of juice on the floor. Lilith giggles a few times.
"Don't be alarmed dear, this is my pet serpent, Eden. She won't bite unless I command her to." She assures. Douglas nervously takes the queen's hand and shakes it gently. Eden smiles cutely and lowers her face on his hand in a snuggling manner.
"Wow, she's well-trained." The young soldier comments. "Where'd you get her?"
"Lucifer gave her to me as a sign of affection. Supposedly she was his best friend," She states before glancing away from him. "Before his departure." Douglas instantly thinks back to how Alastor said Lucifer betrayed God. Perhaps Eden was Lucifer's friend?
"Oh, I gotcha." He mumbles as they end the handshake. Lilith then turns around and enters the room again.
"By the way, we'll be performing in three hours. Maybe my husband will offer you a front-row seat." She says with a small smile on her face. Douglas smiles and nods.
"That sounds nice!" He says cheerfully. Lilith nods.
"Well then, I'll see you when I perform." She says as she closes the door. Only moments later, Lucifer walks back out.
"And that was my wife, isn't she a beauty?" He asks in a dreamy tone. Douglas chuckles and gives a nervous smile.
"Isn't it a little weird for me to make attractive comments about your wife?" He asks. Lucifer chuckles a few times.
"Of course not! It's all in good fun!" He says before giving a sinister smirk. "But if anyone dare touch my precious Lily, God will forget they ever existed." He says darkly, causing Douglas to whimper slightly internally. "But that will never happen, not with a knight like you here," Lucifer says with his charisma back. The holy soldier chuckles a couple of times.
"Yeah, I guess so." He says nervously. "But yeah, your wife seems cool." He compliments. Lucifer gives him a dreamy look.
"I know right? Isn't she the best?" He says with awe in his voice. "I swear she's the dark angel to my light. She's the most beautiful thing in the world and I'm so glad I left Heaven for this beauty!" He says, causing Douglas to gasp internally. "God's no fun, he doesn't allow sex in Heaven." Lucifer mumbles.
"Right..." Douglas comments uncertain. The king then points to the stairway.
"You know, we have a lot of rooms in this palace, but there's one room specifically you should see. It's my favorite room aside from the bedroom!" He says before mumbling. "And sometimes Lilith locks me out of the bedroom because I make a joke at her expense." Douglas raises an eyebrow.
"You let her do that?" He asks. "If I get married, rule number 1 is we both have access to the whole house and nobody is allowed to prohibit any of it." The young warrior states. Lucifer giggles.
"It's cute when she gets all dominant, and she's a real sweetheart about it too." He says as they start walking down the stairs. "Every time she locks me out and I knock on the door, I ask: 'Hey honey, can I please come in?' and she responds with: 'Sleep on the couch tonight, Lucy!'" Douglas rolls his eyes.
"It's a good thing I can teleport." He remarks sarcastically. Lucifer proceeds.
"But then within an hour of me on the couch, she comes down and says: 'I'm sorry Apple Pie, I can't stay mad at you and I miss having you in bed with me.'" The king says while blushing a little and facing him. "Isn't that so sweet?!" He exclaims in a lovestruck tone. Douglas smiles and nods.
"I'm happy for you." He says as his stomach gurgles a little. Lucifer notices and faces him.
"Are you hungry Sir Douglas?" Lucifer asks in a gentlemanly tone. Douglas chuckles and grips his stomach, which is beginning to hurt a little.
"Not a knight yet. I haven't been knighted." He chuckles as his stomach gurgles again, a little louder.
"I gotcha, but if you're hungry, we've got plenty of food here in the palace." He offers as Douglas shakes his head.
"No thank you. I'm not hungry." He assures. The king shrugs.
"Suit yourself, but you are more than welcome to have some dinner if you'd like." He states. "Although, I should tell you the kitchen doesn't have any tables. It's kind of a take what you need and go somewhere to eat it." He states. Douglas nods.
"No eat with the family sort of thing?" He asks. Lucifer sighs and nods.
"Yeah. We haven't eaten together since the day Charlie moved out." He states in a sad tone. "And I'm still waiting for her to come back and marry Seviathan." He remarks. The young warrior frowns as they reach the bottom of the stairs.
"Why do you want her to marry Seviathan? Wouldn't you rather she be happy choosing her own mate?" He asks as the king shrugs.
"As soon as she picks a good one, I'll accept it. But she has a reputation of choosing the wrong mate." He says in a disappointed tone. Douglas's stomach aches again, gurgling loudly. Lucifer notices instantly. "Are you okay son? You need to use the bathroom?" He asks with concern. Douglas shakes his head.
"No, really I'm fine." He insists, noticing his body temperature is warmer than usual. Lucifer nods once and leads the way forward.
"Alright, but let me know if you need anything." He says. They enter a large theater room from behind the stage. "Tada! Our performance room! This is the best room in the house other than the bedroom!" He says cheerfully before mumbling something. "Well, on the right night I guess." He chuckles softly. Douglas raises an eyebrow.
"Isn't it a bad idea for a king and queen to allow public access to their palace?" He asks. Lucifer chuckles and shakes his head.
"Are you kidding? It's the best way to maintain popularity!" He exclaims before smirking evilly. "And if anyone does dare try to attack me or my wife, we torture them on stage in front of everyone." He says before chuckling darkly. Douglas grabs his stomach but continues to ignore the pain.
"So... if I could go back a ways, does Charlie ever come to your performances?" The king shakes his head.
"Unfortunately, no. She's usually spending time with her girlfriend." He says sounding audibly annoyed at the word 'girlfriend.'
"Sir, does Vaggie bother you?" Douglas asks. Lucifer holds his arms out in a shrugging manner.
"How can anyone tolerate her at all?" He asks, causing Douglas to gasp. But the dark backstage is a bit too dark for Lucifer to notice his expression. "She doesn't trust a single man in Hell! She thinks we're a bunch of thieves, rapists, murderers, etc. And yet she is the one who normally carries a spear with her!" Douglas groans softly. "I know, isn't that disgusting? Men and women are in Hell, so what about all the ladies here? What do you think they did? Huh?" He rants aimlessly.
"Do you... think she had poor experience with men while she was alive?" Douglas asks quietly. Lucifer shrugs.
"I don't know, but she does not have my blessing to marry my daughter, and that's final!" He says firmly. "I have nothing against my daughter liking girls, but she can't marry a girl who hates the male sex." He says before stepping closer and frowning begrudgingly. "Did you know literally at the last family reunion when I last saw Charlie, Vaggie threatened me with a spear when I moved in to hug her?!" He asks. Douglas sighs deeply.
"That's pretty unreasonable." He admits. "When was that by the way?" The holy soldier asks.
"About three years ago," Lucifer says in a down tone. "Haven't seen my daughter since, and I told her she can come to see me whenever she'd like. But Vaggie is not welcome here, period." He establishes. Douglas's stomach gurgles very loudly this time, causing him to groan loudly.
"Ow." He mumbles under his breath. The king quickly steps over to the light switch.
"Douglas, are you okay?" He asks before turning the lights on. "AH!" He couldn't contain his scream upon seeing him. Douglas's skin has almost fully lost its color, and he begins sweating buckets the moment the stage lights activate.
"What is it?" He asks as he leans against the wall and grips his stomach.
"You don't look so good!" Lucifer exclaims as he summons an apple in his hand. "Here, maybe you should have some fruit." He offers. Douglas holds his hand out.
"If I eat one bite of anything, I'm going to puke!" He exclaims as he aids his stomach, praying for the pain to stop. He then gives the king a serious look. "What was in that apple juice you shared with me?" He asks. Lucifer shrugs.
"You know? The usual. Some corn syrup, apple cider vinegar, other artificial ingredients, and a large amount of secret ingredient." He says. Douglas makes direct eye contact.
"What is the secret ingredient?" He asks weakly.
"Well, I can't share it w-"
"WHAT'S THE FUCKING INGREDIENT?!" Douglas shouts loudly. Lucifer holds his arms out defensively.
"It's just a bunch of cyanide!" He answers. The young warrior growls under his breath and grabs a flask of holy water.
"I should've known you'd try to murder me." He says as he starts to open the flask with what little strength he has, desperately fighting to remove the cork.
"What are you saying? Cyanide comes from apples, and we demons are already dead. So of course, I'm gonna add more cyanide for more flavor." He states as he points to him. "And you yourself said you liked it." He says defensively. Douglas glares at him.
"Some people must be allergic to it." He states as the cork comes out. He flips the water into his mouth and chugs it quickly. The king's expression changes the moment he sees the cross on the front.
"Wait... is that holy water?!" Lucifer shouts in both shock and anger. The holy soldier finishes the liquid, exhales in refreshment, and wipes his lips.
"You bet it is, and it's an all-natural antidote for people of Heaven." He states. Lucifer nods and bangs his staff against the floor.
"I know! I used to be an angel too you know?!" He exclaims before pointing the staff out toward him. "You're the bastard who killed Rosie and Velvet, aren't you?!" He asks aggressively. Douglas glares back at him.
"You bet I am, and I was sent here to kill you and your wife!" He responds firmly. "I thought you seemed really nice, but I should've known you wanted me dead!" He says, summoning a pumpkin. Lucifer frowns.
"And to think I almost knighted you and gave you my daughter's blessing." He says in disappointment. Douglas's eyes widen.
"You were gonna let me marry Charlie?" He asks. The king shrugs.
"I mean, I was willing to consider it. You seemed like the son I never had, and you had all the qualities both Charlie and Seviathan have that I want in my future son in law." He summons an apple into his own hands. "But if you're fighting for God, then never!" He says in anger.
"Why did you betray God?" Douglas asks, taking a step forward threateningly. Lucifer takes a step forward as well, showing no fear.
"Because he was keeping me from reaching my fullest potential power! And I found that power in Hell!" He then lowers his tone. "You know son, it's never too late to betray God. We can forfeit this fight if you resort to satanism." He offers.
"As if I'm betraying God! He's helped me survive on my own since I was eight!" He shouts.
"Well then, prepare for a duel in which you've never imagined, little boy." He says in a taunting voice.
"Bring it, old man!" Douglas returns. Both men summon a few more fruits and prepare their fight.
Author's note: Well that was a lot of interacting. I knew I'd have fun with this bond, but I didn't know for sure how intense I could make it. Anyways, the fight will take place in the next chapter. Until then, I hope you enjoyed!
Side Note: The song Lucifer sings is a parody of Squidly's: "The Dragon is Here" song from that medieval Spongebob song. Just for reference.
Deceased:
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