Chapter 12
It had been a few weeks and Natalie felt good about the progress so far with her work and school. She had been interviewing quite a few agents and support staff and was getting a much better picture at the psychological lives of NCIS personnel. She was at home one evening when her cell went off. It was her grandfather so she picked up while saving the interview transcripts she received from a student working with her.
"Hey Grandpa," she said sitting back on her couch, "How are you?"
"Hey Sweetie, I've got some bad news." He sounded distraught and Natalie started to worry. "Chris Pachi was found murdered in an elevator tonight."
"Agent Pachi? I had been interviewing with him. Oh My God." Natalie was stunned. She assumed something could technically happen to the people she spoke with but never really thought it would happen. "I'm speechless."
Tom spoke, "I know it comes as a shock to all of us. And I hate to impose but would you mind making yourself available if anyone needs to talk. I know some of the people you've been working with would probably feel more comfortable talking to you than to our on staff psychologists and councellors."
"Yes, of course, did you want me to come in tonight?" Natalie was already thinking in her head who would be hurt most by Agent Pachi's passing. Doctor Mallard would be distraught having to autopsy a collegue and after everything that just happened with a terrorist in autopsy NCIS was already pretty shook up.
"If you don't mind, I have Agent Gibbs's team working on the case. I've been a little worried about them since the terrorist but I know Gibbs would want to investigate Chris's death himself," Tom said.
Natalie was already grabbing a few things and getting ready to call a cab, "Where they close?" she asked.
"As close as anybody who works in the same office would be I guess," he answered. "I'm gonna send a car for you, I don't want you taking a cab. But speaking of how is your drivers training going?"
"Well I have my learners which I am very happy to announce. Passed the test just last week and I'm not going great with my instructor. He makes me nervous." She decided she'd might as well sit back down if she was going to have to wait for a car. "I was going to ask Agent Gibbs if he'd be willing still since he offered weeks ago."
"Just be careful, Gibbs has an aggressive driving style," Tom chuckled.
"I will. How are you doing with this?" Natalie asked in her professional voice.
"I don't know," he sighed. "Chris was a good man, good agent. He's not the first agent I've lost but something like this…" he paused, "It's bad Nat."
She could only imagine, "You said it was a murder?" She hoped she could get him talking a bit; not only for himself but so she could help everyone else.
"Looks like. He had a gun shot to his neck, bled out from it knicking an artery. But worse, someone disembowled him." She heard her grandfather sigh again. It was obviously very difficult. "I don't need to tell you everything is classified for this."
"I know," she paused trying to think of something to help her grandpa, "I know it must be difficult to lose an agent this way, but you are a strong and capable leader. You have great people working for you who will do everything to find Chris's killer. Have you called his mother yet? I know he was a pretty solitary around the office but someone should find his planner too, he had been in a relationship for a while. He was very private about it."
"I hadn't realized he had a woman. Did he talk to you about her? Do you know her name? We can contact her and let her know, I've already informed his mother and she took it pretty hard."
Natalie felt awkward. She flashed back to her second interview with Agent Pachi.
"So Chris, how have you been this past week?" she asked the middle aged agent in front of her.He took a sip of his coffee, "Not bad. I've been combing through some cold cases after I got a tip from one a few years ago.""Somehow I don't think a cold case is what has you so anxious today." Natalie noticed he was antsy, and seemed distracted. She felt the case was just a cover for what was going on. She wished she could get him to open up more outside of his relationship with his mother. He was pretty work driven. Had a few friends from college he still saw and a cousin that worked in DC but he never talked about his romantic life."No my partner wants…" he stopped talking and looked down. He huffed, "I've never told anyone, not even my mother and my partner wants to meet her.""Have you been dating long?" Natalie asked.Chris smiled, "Over 10 years." Chris got a far away look for a minute and Natalie let him be. "His name is George Wilks. He's a high school math teacher." Chris was obviously waiting for a reaction. But Natalie wasn't phased by things like homosexuality. Any sexuality really. To her, what mattered most in a relationship was that the people cared for each other, and that the relationship was healthy."10 years is a long time, Congrats." She smiled and Chris was obviously not expecting her acceptance. "I'm guessing it's been hard on you, keeping George a secret?"Chris looked ashamed before saying a soft, "yes.""Can I tell you something?" she asked tilting her head to the side."To be honest, I've wanted to tell people many times, but, in my job… I just didn't want to be judged."Natalie reached over and supportively touched his arm, "You're from a generation that was unaccepting of different lifestyle other than monogamous heterosexuality. It's natural to feel awkward. But I want you to remember something. You have been with someone you obviously love, it was all over your face when you were talking about him, and that couldn't happen if you didn't accept yourself. Telling your mom and introducing George doesn't mean you have to open yourself up to everyone in your life." Natalie sat back, "You don't have to put a label to it. You just have to be happy. Have you been hiding this from your mom out of fear?" she asked."I don't know." Chris sighed, "I wasn't always…like this. I just thought I hadn't found the right woman. I met George on a flight back from London. He was visiting his sister who was at school there and I was returning from a stint abroad. We talked. He was obviously gay. But he's always respected my want for privacy. He was charming and sweet and I had never felt like I did with him with any woman I had been with. It suddenly clicked. At first, I felt ashamed. But with George as a friend first, I slowly opened up. He has always made me feel safe. My mother has always wanted me to be happy, she's tried to set me up on dates over the past decade but stopped trying lately, I think she knows but I am truly afraid she'll reject me. I'm afraid of being treated differently." He shook his head, "Outside of George you are the only person I've ever spoken to about this. I mean George's family has met me but in my life, no one knows. I don't know why I felt comfortable talking with you..""I do." Natalie said, "You don't want to be viewed differently by the people you work with because it really doesn't matter who you date or what your lifestyle is, you are still the same Agent Chris Pachi. Your personal life doesn't define who you are or how you act but telling someone you see at work could start to effect you, you begin to wonder if they are keeping it quite, if they are treating you differently. Talking to an NCIS councellor will always make you wonder while talking to me feels safe. I'm outside your work sphere. Also I'm younger and from a generation more accepting to things but I want to tell you that no councellor working for NCIS would ever judge you or treat you differently. And I think talking to your mom would be good for you. I know you love her, and I'll be here to help support you any way I can." Natalie took a moment to pause and let that sink in, "So how's your relationship with George with your work?""He's great. He's the most understanding and patient person I've ever met. He's a great teacher too. His students love him and he teaches math with fun. He gets upset sometimes if we make plans and I have to cancel last minute but he understands how important my work is, that what we do here matters. The same way I understand his after school math programs are important to him." Chris smiled, "We sound so well adjusted but we've had ups and downs. Mostly in the beginning when I was first coming to terms with myself."Natalie smiled, "I'm glad. You do sound like you have a healthy relationship and I think that's really important for you both. It doesn't matter what kind of job you have, every job has its own unique quirks and demands that can take a toll on relationships and it's how you approach everything that really matters. So I have one last question for you today if that's alright, I know you need to get back to work."Chris nodded, "Sure, but please know this has helped me feel better.""I'm glad, but through all of this, you've admitted to a partner, that he's male, and you love him and he loves you, but you seem afraid. Can you say the words or are you afraid to really admit it out loud?" Natalie felt it was important for Chris's own mental health with regards to his lifestyle that he say the words. Admit it out loud to himself."I hadn't realized I don't until you said something. I wonder if George notices." Chris's brow was furrowed. "If I say it, it becomes real.""It's already real Chris," she said gently.He nodded before he whispered, "I'm gay?" in a questioningly manner."How did that feel?" Natalie asked."Strange." Chris said, "But true." He finished his coffee in one gulp and stood up, turning to go. He reached the door and turned back around. In a much more strong voice he said, "I Chris Pachi am a gay man and I love George." He smirked."Maybe when you get home you can tell him that?" she suggested."I will. Thank-you."
"Grandpa I don't know how to tell you this but, Chris was involved with a man. His name is George Wilks. He's a high school math teacher. They lived together."
"He's not on Chris's emergency contact list." Tom said. "I had no idea."
"He was very private about it, he just told his mom last week I think." Natalie felt awkward telling Chris's secret like this, "He never wanted anyone to see him differently and please don't tell anyone I just wanted to make sure George knew because Chris and he were really in love."
Tom spoke quietly through the phone, "I know this must be hard for you and I will handle it with delicacy and care myself."
"Thanks." Natalie said. Her phone beeped for a text and she quickly checked it. "Grandpa I have to go your car for me is here. Will I see you at NCIS?" she asked grabbing her things and locking up.
"I'm not sure, I'm going to head to Pachi's and see if Mr. Wilks is home so that I can break the news personally."
Natalie was waving to the agent behind the wheel when she said her goodbyes, "Then if I see you, I see you then. Good luck, and I'm here if you need to talk."
"Hey," said Agent DiNozzo. "You know?" he asked gently.
Natalie nodded her head, "Yeah, I'm still in shock. Agent Pachi was a good man. I hear you are on the case?"
DiNozzo pulled away from the curb, "Yeah, Gibbs had me out picking up some things when Morrow asked for me to swing by."
"I appreciate the ride" she told him.
"No licence yet?" he asked. He had stopped flirting with her but still flirted on occasion. Usually when he was stressed out and avoiding something.
"I have my learners. But my instructor makes me so nervous. He's kinda mean. I can't believe he teaches teenagers how to drive." She chuckled, "Maybe he thinks less of me because of my age."
DiNozzo shook his head, "Nope, he's just a jerk. At least that's what I'm going with because how could anyone be mean to you. You are so sweet. Until you go into Professional Mode. Then you can be intimidating and Abby says you can get scary when you're mad."
"Oh God Abby told you about that?!" she wailed. "I'm gonna kill her."
Laughing DiNozzo said, "Yep, so remind me to not grab your ass at a bar. While drunk."
"I was so upset. That guy was a total creep and I wasn't the first girl he was creeping on. I had a couple drinks-"
"A couple! Way Abby tells it you were well into your cups" Tony interupted.
Nat shook her head, "I mistakenly told her I'd never been drunk."
Tony was laughing so hard he nearly missed their turn. "Abby would be the one to get you drunk."
"Kate was there for a bit but got called away with a family thing. I watched this guy hitting on girls and just being way to aggressive and he was all hands when I was dancing with Abby that I told him to back off. He wouldn't so I laid into him."
"And you were all kicked out of the bar, followed by you knocking the guy out, who's friend took offence and when he went after Abby you took him down like a bad-ass."
"She told you about that part? I'm embarrassed. I've been taking Krav Maga and I guess the training worked?" she wimpered out. "How many people know?"
"A few." Tony pulled into a parking spot at NCIS HQ, "But it was mostly to praise how bad ass you were and that people should not mess with you."
They got out of the car and headed into the building. Natalie went to pin her badge to her shirt when she realized she never changed out of her casual clothes. She was wearing a sundress that went to her knees. It was dark blue with sunflowers on. DC had a heat wave and after school today she changed into something to cool off not even thinking she'd be going anywhere. It had little spagetti straps and she hadn't grabbed a sweater to cover up. She blushed when they entered the elevator.
"So do I comment on the dress or will you beat me up?" Tony asked.
She blushed even harder, "Depends what you say."
"Well there's two ways, One would be you look nice and its normal to be dressed casually when you get called in…" he paused waiting for my reaction.
"Thank-you that's nice of you Tony, I appreciate that you are trying to make me feel better."
"The second would be that dress suits you…" the bell for the elevator went and the doors opened, "and you look smokin' hot." He quickly exited and was speed walking to his desk calling out to Gibbs.
Natalie was stuck stunned in the elevator and almost missed getting out before the doors closed. She checked herself out in the reflection of the doors. Her breasts where rather prominent in the dress and it was fitted with a flirty frill at the bottom. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she still had lipstick on from earlier in the day but by now it was faded to a soft pink. She took a big breath and went to the bull pen. She said hellos to the team working on Pachi's murder and glanced at his desk. It still had much of his things around it. Not that he had much out. He was very neat and orderly.
After setting her things on a desk in the cubicle beside Gibbs's she stepped back over towards Gibbs and his team who were looking at the plasma. "Just wanted to say I'm in the building if anyone needs me tonight. My cell will be on me, and I'm gonna go check on Abby and Ducky while you guys work." They all nodded and she went downstairs to see Abby. She knew Abby would be busy but knew the goth would need a friend as well. She was a soft hearted individual and this would be hard for her.