Eric sat playing with an Etch-a-Sketch. "Man, who'd have thought: Hyde getting busted for possession? I mean, I always thought it'd be armed robbery…or pimping. You know, something cool," he said, chuckling.
Kelso laughed too. "Yeah, Hyde in jail. Hey, guys, you think he's anyone's girlfriend yet?"
"Kelso," Fez said seriously. "He's been in jail for three hours. …Of course he's someone's girlfriend. He has very pretty eyes."
"Well, if he was someone's girlfriend, I think it might look a little something like this." Eric turned the Etch-a-Sketch so the other boys could see it. On it was a crudely drawn picture of two people standing together with the larger figure's arm wrapped around the other.
"Yeah," smirked Kelso. He took the gadget and held it up. In a hoarse voice he said, "Hey there, Curly Q, would you like to perform an unspeakable act on me, or would you prefer that I perform one on you?"
Kelso laughed and answered in a high squeaky voice meant to be Hyde. "Well, they both sound good. Dealer's choice."
Fez reached over and took the Etch-a-Sketch. "You have done a horrible thing with a children's toy," he said earnestly.
Hyde leaned over Fez's shoulder and cleared his throat, "Ahem." He stood behind the boy, examining the illustration and said, "Huh. I bet you didn't want me to see this, did ya?"
Quickly Eric grabbed the toy back and shook it vigorously. "Hey, welcome back, man. We were worried about…. I'm sorry. I'm just… I'm so sorry."
"Yeah, uh…you know…'Curly Q' is…can be… is a term of affection," Kelso stammered.
Fez leaned closer to Hyde and asked cheerfully, "So, when do we meet your new fella?"
The curly-haired boy growled, "Shut it, Fez!"
Eric, trying to keep the peace quickly interrupted, "So, what happened? How'd you get out?"
Hyde's shoulder's slumped. "Red…of course."
"Are you ok?" Eric asked.
"Mostly…. Most of me. My ears and ass may never recover."
"What happened," asked Fez looking confused.
The other three boys looked at the foreign boy with disbelief.
"Fez, what happened to you that night we got busted in the stolen car? I mean when you got home? Did your host parents punish you?" Hyde inquired.
"No," Fez admitted. "We had tea and biscuits and I told them about the night. Then we all went to sleep. It was a very good night."
"Meanwhile, the rest of us got our asses handed to us," Hyde barked.
"What does it mean to be handed your ass? You carry them around?"
"No, no, no," Eric corrected. "It means we got in big trouble. I got a whipping."
"Me too. Edna beat me black and blue."
The boys looked at Kelso. He shrugged.
"Yeah, my dad whupped me and Tommy and Sully. …So, at least there's that."
"Why'd he whip Tommy too?" Eric asked.
"Dad said my brother should have known Sully stole the car since they're always hanging out. He even thought Tommy might have helped Sully steal it, but Tommy swore he didn't. …Didn't stop Dad from belting him good."
"Ooooooh," said Fez, understanding. "Did Red give you your ass today? Why did it make your ears hurt?"
Hyde rubbed his eyes wearily and sighed. "I meant that Red yelled at me and lectured me so long that my ears hurt. Then he… yeah, he whipped me. It was bad."
"Sorry. I'm so glad Red's never spanked me, man. He's seriously scary."
"Well you better get out of here then, Kelso. Red said he knows it was you who scratched the Toyota. He's gonna light your ass on fire, man."
"Gotta go! See ya!" Kelso called as he darted out the basement door.
"I'm coming too. I don't want a fire on my ass!" Fez retreated quickly.
"The car got scratched? I'm amazed Red hasn't blamed me," Eric said.
"Yeah, well, it's probably because the car isn't scratched. I just wanted Kelso to shut up. Besides, I kinda wanted them to leave so I could lay down."
Hyde stretched out on the couch. Eric watched him for a minute.
"You okay, Hyde?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess." After a moment, the boy whispered, "What's the worst whipping Red ever gave you?"
"The longest was for getting arrested. The overall worst was for being suspended."
"What made it the worst?"
"Um, it's kinda embarrassing. …Red made me… pull down my pantsandunderwear," Eric said quickly.
Hyde turned to look at his friend. "Me too, man. But don't tell Kelso or Fez. Or Donna. Definitely don't tell Jackie."
"Never," Eric promised.