The other car came out of nowhere and now the Vista Cruiser's rear axle was smashed. When the tow truck came, after the policeman had taken his report, the man informed Eric that the car was not drivable. Since it was nearly 2 AM, the car would be towed to a local mechanic's shop and repairs would begin in the morning.
The kids stood in front of a rundown, all-night diner. The redheaded boy looked around at the somber faces of his friends, sister, and girlfriend. "So…I'm going to runaway. Who's with me?"
Hyde snorted and shook his head, but said nothing.
"Well…. Let's just get the car fixed!" Jackie said optimistically.
"Sure," the curly-haired teen snapped. "All it will take is a couple hundred dollars, maybe more, and like four days. Maybe your parents won't notice if you don't come home, but Red and Kitty will."
"Man, who are we going to call to help us?" asked Donna. "Could you call Casey, Kelso?"
"He doesn't have any money, but he might come get us, at least. And there is a small chance that he won't tell my dad."
"Well," responded Eric. "Either way, Red's gonna notice that the Vista Cruiser is missing. Instant death."
"Don't forget, little brother," said Laurie smugly, "That Daddy said you couldn't take the car out of Point Place without his permission. Did you have his permission to drive to Chicago?"
"Um, just in case you're having an out-of-body experience right now, you are here too. You'll be in just as much trouble as me!" Eric yelled in exasperation.
"Now, sweetie, when has that ever been true?" Laurie smiled and walked into the diner.
The gang was huddled around a large table in the diner.
"Well, what did Casey say?" Donna asked when Kelso returned, looking disconsolate.
"He's coming."
"He better not be driving his Trans Am," she said.
"Nah, he's bringing my van. …But…um…he said that my dad's already pissed. Dad's been trying to find me since like 11 pm. He was out driving around when I called."
"Oh, man. Sucks to be you," Hyde chuckled.
"Thanks, Hyde," the boy said sarcastically. "For you, too, though, 'cause...when he was...uh...trying to find me, he...um...calledallyourparentstoo."
"What?" Eric bellowed. "Why was he looking for you? I thought you said you were spending the night at Fez's, like Hyde and me did. They'd never call there since his host parents don't speak much English."
"Yeah, I couldn't say that, because I was grounded. …So I just snuck out. Apparently, Dad noticed. So now it's a big thing, since we are all gone."
Everyone was gaping at Kelso. Faces red, or pale. Eyes wide or squinted.
"Goddammit, Kelso, you screwed us all," Hyde whispered, so the other diners wouldn't hear him.
"Sorry, man, but what would you have done? I couldn't miss Aerosmith. Aerosmith! It was worth it. But I am sorry that all of you are in trouble too."
Hyde paused, looked around, and finally said, "Yeah, man. I would have snuck out too."
No one else said anything. The group sat around silently eating and drinking, waiting for Casey to arrive.
Around 4:30 AM, Casey walked into the diner.
"Hey, dummies," he said, smiling.
"Hey," the group responded despondently.
"Thanks for coming, Casey. Did you tell Dad where I was? How angry is he?" Michael asked.
"I left Dad a note. I have a feeling somebody's gonna get his butt blistered when we get home," his brother smiled teasingly.
"Oh man. This sucks."
Casey looked around the table and jovially greeted the people he knew, "Foreplay! Hyde! Pinciotti! …Oh, hey, Laurie. I didn't know you were home for school."
"Just babysitting," she smiled sweetly.
"A damnable lie!" Eric yelled.
Hyde added, "Huh, I thought you flunked out."
"Shut it, maggots," Laurie hissed.
"Well, let's get this show on the road," said Casey. "I'm gonna grab a coffee. You guys head out to the van. ...Hey, Laurie, you sit up front with me."
The ride home was long, and mostly everyone slept. Hyde woke and found Eric watching Donna.
"Man, are you still pining?" he whispered.
"No, I'm just trying to figure out how to blame this all on Laurie," Eric joked.
"Any luck?"
"No, none. We're dead. All of us."
"Yeah, I figured." After a brief silence, Hyde said, "Man, I must be losing it. I just realized that I was hoping that Red would use the belt on us instead of a switch. What a crazy thing to hope for!"
Eric laughed and nodded, "Yeah, or maybe he'll think we're too old for a whipping now…." The two boys laughed hard, waking the others.
"What's so funny, you dorks," Jackie asked.
"We were just wondering if maybe Red would think we're too mature now to put his foot in our asses," Hyde shared.
"Yeah, right!" teased Donna. "You could be married with kids, and Red would still threaten to kick your butts. Sorry, no age limit for it!"
"Yeah, we know. What about you, Donna? What's Bob gonna say about our trip?" Eric inquired.
"He will be pissed. I'm a little worried. Especially if he listens to Red's parenting advice. …Although maybe it's really Pam I should be worrying about. She's the one who Dad's really listening to now that they're dating. So, Jackie, how's you're mom gonna react when we get home?"
"Uh…," said Jackie. "If she's heard about it, it could be bad. She doesn't like being lied to. She's got this hairbrush that she uses if she's really mad."
"What?" Donna yelped, while the boys laughed and nodded approvingly. "Shut up, dorks. Red's gonna beat your asses with his belt, so I don't want to hear it."
"Now, now, Donna. You've been a naughty girl. Sounds like you're gonna get a spanking too, so don't be ugly."
"Whatever, Hyde. Let's just drop it. I don't want to think about how much trouble we are going be in."
"Yeah, well, I bet running away sounds kinda good now, doesn't it?" Eric chuckled.
When the van pulled into the Formans' driveway, the kids received an unpleasant shock. All of their parents were sitting on folding chairs, drinking coffee, and waiting for their prodigals to return.
"Casey," Eric called from the back of the van. "I will give you $100 right now to drive me back to Chicago and leave me there."
Casey laughed. "Look, sorry, man. It's our last stop: Buttwhuppingville."
"Could you try not to enjoy this so much, Casey?" Kelso whined to his older brother.
"Don't worry, man. I won't let Daddy kill you. ...Publicly."
Once everyone piled out of the van and stood quietly in anticipation, Red spoke. "So, you knuckleheads went to Chicago without permission?"
"Yes, sir," they all replied in unison.
"Eric, what happened to the car?"
"Someone hit us, and it's being repaired now. The car will be okay, Dad. We're taking care of it," the boy said, trying to sound confident.
"And, more importantly, you are all ok," Kitty quickly added.
"For now," Red stated ominously. "Ok, everybody, collect your kids and be on your way. I've got two dumbasses to deal with."
As families began saying their goodbyes, thanking Red and Kitty for their hospitality, Red looked at the boys and pointed to the garage. Eric and Hyde hung their heads and made their way inside.
"Man, the first thing I am gonna do when Red finally kicks it," Eric began, "is burn this goddamn garage down."
"I'll help. ...You know, if I ever have kids, I won't whip them for taking trips or having accidents. I mean, seriously. It's only a car."
"Me neither, man. I'd never hit my kids."
"Yeah, unless they drank all your beer," Hyde laughed.
"Sure," the redheaded chuckled. "That goes without saying. Can't have a bunch greedy bastards, after all."
Soon the laughter died away and the boys' anxiety began to grow. Suddenly, Eric exclaimed, "Man, why isn't Laurie in here? That's bullshit that she's not in trouble too!"
"You're right. She went to the concert too. She should be in just as much trouble as we are!"
"Should we go ask Da—"
However, Eric didn't need to finish his thought, because his dad stomped in.
"You want to ask me something?" Red said fiercely. But Eric simply shook his head quickly.
"Yes, he does, Red. We want to know why Laurie isn't out here too. She should be in the same amount of trouble as us."
"She is in trouble. I'm going to deal with her after I take care of you idiots. So, boys, start from the beginning."
Neither of the boys spoke. Finally, Hyde said, "Ok, well, we lied when we asked to stay at Fez's. Then we took the car without permission to Chicago to see a concert…."
"And, in Chicago," Eric continued. "We were in an accident—that was not our fault!—and now the car is being repaired there. And we didn't call to tell you what happened. I'm sorry."
"Me, too."
Red stared at the boys. Then he shook his head began unbuckling his belt. As he pulled it through the loops, he said, "Eric, drop your pants and underpants and bend over the table."
"Yes, sir."
The belt fell sixteen times. Eric cried quietly, but otherwise said nothing. The boy pulled his boxers and then his pants into place. He moved stiffly back to where Hyde stood. His friend patted his back sympathetically.
"Steven, your turn."
Hyde walked to the table, but turned to face his foster father. "So, Red, is Laurie getting a whipping too?"
"You want to take her punishment too?"
"No way! It just doesn't seem fair for her not to get the same punishment as us, man."
"Danger, Will Robinson, danger!" Eric whispered emphatically.
"Well," said Red slowly, taking a step closer to Hyde. "I'm the parent. I decide who gets punished around here and how. So, right now, I suggest you worry about your own behind. Got it?"
Hyde nodded.
"What did you say? Boy, I am starting to think that you are not taking this punishment seriously."
"Yes, sir, I am. I… It's just that Laurie gets away with murder, and Eric and I don't get away with anything."
Hyde turned back to the work table and lowered his jeans. He pushed his boxers down to his knees. With his bare backside on display, Steven waited for the first smack. He heard the belt whistle through the air and the blow as it landed. Moments later the pain came. With each smack, there was sound and then fire, until the boy's behind was criss-crossed with pain. Red made quick work of the thrashing. When it was over, Hyde redressed and walked over to stand beside Eric.
"You're both grounded for a month. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," they both replied.
"Now, go to bed. I don't want to see you the rest of the day."
"Yes, sir."
As the boys walked back to the house, Hyde said, "You know, that concert, man…. It was worth the whipping."