The tables are quite splotchy today. Stews and gravies reside close to every plate and soup spoon. I know Lucas is watching as I clean the last bit of carrot off of the chair. The last task of the day before Clara comes over for her shift. I plan on doing a little afternoon fishing after work, for old times sake. I may love and hate my father, but he did give me the enjoyment of reeling in a large mouth bass. I'm not certain, though, what species of fish they have here in Hope Valley pond. When I return from the kitchen, apron removed, Lucas Bouchard stops me in my race to the door. I really don't want to talk. Talking means we have to acknowledge what happened in the saloon last night.
After Amos Dixon had been apprehended, I stayed behind in the saloon, picking up overturned lamps and Elizabeth's basket. It was my method of processing previous events, when Lucas's hand grazed mine. He helped me pick up the last of Elizabeth's grading. I couldn't stop shaking, and I knew he could see my trembling fingers. It wasn't out of fear for my life, but for fear of having to explain everything to him. Also, I was so embarrassed. I tried to save the day, and all I managed to do, was to cause a catastrophe. Lucas is alive, but he could have been dead.
"I'm g-glad it's all over," I finally croaked out the words.
"I'm so sorry, Nyrah, I never meant for this to happen."
"It isn't completely your fault," I assured him, "You were trying to do the right thing, and I can't blame your for that. Thank you for protecting your friends." I knew, of course, as to why everything happened, but I wanted to make certain that Lucas knew I held no anger toward him, so I kissed him on the cheek, then and there. Before he could recover from shock, I bolted from the room, out into the night.
I am cornered. Lucas smiles at me timidly, kindness and care within every movement. He holds out his hand, as if asking for me to give him mine. I just stare at it, uncertain what to do. I know he doesn't feel the same way, so I could lessen the blow of the truth if I were to just say it was out of friendship, or something...but I don't. I receive his hand, and he kisses it. I will swoon if he remains in this position any longer.
"I wanted to speak to you about last night," the room is uncomfortable. Gravity mingled with humidity gnaws on the surface of my skin. Please, kill me now; I can't handle the rejection! This cannot be happening. Before he can say any more, I destroy any chance he has to verbalize my worst fear.
"I'm sorry...Lucas...I never meant to do that. I was stressed and exhausted. I wasn't thinking clearly." I want to leave this second, and I am at a loss of how to read what he might be thinking. He remains calm, but something still shifts in his demeanor. "Please, excuse me," I finish. I have a bad habit of leaving before things can be resolved. I should work on that, but I'm not certain I want to. Not yet.
The sleek fishing pole in my hand is weightless. I had asked Lee which one was his favorite, and he surprised me in saying it wasn't the one I'm fishing with. A tiny twig, with snags, nails, and tree sap holding it together, had been his very first attempt in making one. Rosmary and Lee are like parents to me, sharing their lives and home with me. It has only been a few weeks, but they have shown me more kindness than my best friend has ever been allowed to. I rembered her in one of my nightmares last night. Images of where I was before all of this happened have been trickling into my memory. Her name is Sol Troy, and we both were attending a bridal shower. Dry erase messages adorned every mirror in the bathroom, and we followed the directions that were written, to perfection. I think I am here because of what we did. I'm worried for my best friend; she has a huge obsession with the Green Arrow. I don't know much about the tv show, other than the fact that it is very dangerous if she is living in its reality. This is crazy.
I'm approaching the pond, stewing in my own thoughts, when I catch a providential sighting of Nathan and Allie by the miniscule dock. I haven't met Allie yet; this should be fun. I am still apprehensive, but remain true to my course, hoping to join them. I am no longer upset with the mountie. I told him I would be, but I say a lot of things without thinking. I might just be a little too spontaneous for my own good. I almost always regret the decision afterward. Last night, for example. Two very horrifying, embarrassing, and unwise decisions lay clawing for life in the past. Nathan sees me approaching them both, and Allie gifts me a massive wave and a Cheshire grin.
I don't say anything, and set up my gear far enough away not to get in their way, yet close enough to make easy conversation. My line is in the water before Allie, calls my name, "Miss Sutton, would you like to join us? My uncle Nathan apologizes deeply for being rude to you before."
"Allie!" Nathan scolds her, but I return a crooked smile to the young girl.
"Well...you were, and she likes fishing; it is so rare to find another girl who loves it as much as I do." I feel a vapor of a tug beneath the water, and lift the line to see that my bait has vanished. Great. The container beside me, is squirming with succulent worms, and I pick a smaller one for shore fish. They tend to be on the smaller side, but I'm only cooking dinner for myself tonight. Rosemary and Lee are up in some big city, enjoying themselves...obviously. The mentioned needing to pick something up there.
"That's alright, I am content over here, but you are welcome to tell your uncle that he is forgiven. I also apologize."
"See uncle Nathan? She isn't as arrogant as you said she was." The conversation brings me to grin, and I leave my things behind to meet them by the dock. Nathan looks up at me and shivers beneath my withering gaze. I want him to think for a little while longer that his niece's comment set my fuse again. He sets his pole aside for a moment, fully engaged, he stands with his superior five inches above me.
"I'm sorry, I never meant to-" Allie and I are sprayed by the mist of the splash, which causes the girl to burst out in contagious giggles, and I join her. As I pretend to shake the dust from my hands, Nathan glares at me when he resurfaces. I am quick to grab onto Nathan's pole, and sit next to his niece just as he was moments ago.
"You have fished here before right , Allie?" Nathan sloshes nearer to me, but I pay him no heed. "Do you think there is a chance for a big one?" I ask.
"Definitely " Allie plays along, but then notices her uncle too late. "Watch out Miss Sutton!" The mountie is right in front of me now, four inches from my face as he pulls hard on my waist. I squeal as my skirts fold into the icy pond and I am forced to watch blue gill flick their fins from fright, wrists tangled in seaweed. My clothes turn into lead when I burst through water, gasping for air. Nathan is laughing...a lot...I am not sure I have ever seen him laugh this much before. Allie pulls both lines in before doing a cannon ball. I wipe the water from my eyes, and tilt my head.
"This. Means. War!" The three of us send wave upon wave into eachother's faces. This has to be the most fun I have had in years. It's almost as if we are a family; I haven't had one of those for a long time, but I stop myself before I can conjur more notions such as that. I love Lucas. Not Nathan.
After a half-hour of fun, Allie walks ahead toward their house, and Nathan and I stay behind, talking, carrying only my gear since Allie took theirs with her. Nathan offers to carry it for me, and I accept. The dust from the ground, sticks to the hem of my work dress, but I don't mind; my dress is already dirty from the pond water. I fiddle with the locket around my neck; it is the necklace I somehow brought with me from home. From the corner of my eye, I see Nathan observing me. The autumn breeze runs through his slick hair, while leaves scurry behind the squirrels. I break the silence with a hum, enjoying the beauty of Fall colors.
"I really do apologize, and I'm sorry for Allie's behavior. She shouldn't have said things so bluntly."
"But you meant them."
"I mean...at the time, I thought you just had something to hide."
"I do." Nathan halts when I say this. To release the tension, I begin to scan the form of a distant eagle detaching from the grass so he can soar. "I appreciate bluntness. I'm not offended by what she said."
"Your aren't?"
"No," I answer in a hushed tone, searching for an explanation as to why I was offended by his own bluntness and not Allie's. "Please, Nate, understand that the only reason I became angry with you is because I wasn't ready to talk about my parents or any other family. I know you were doing your job, and I respect that, but some things are still far too painful to remember."
"I'm sorry. I should have waited-."
"I'm not certain as to when I would have been ready, Nate."
"Don't call me that."
"Ok." The Constable shifts nervously, but I refuse to stop attempting to make eye contact with him. "My entire family died in a fire when I was four years-old." Nathan blinks, much like when I bested that man the other night. I continue, "A young girl doesn't know what she is doing. When I saw the first spark, I fled my sister's bedroom, played outside, and left the matches behind." I raise a hand to my face, lids clamped shut. I still hear the screams and the morbid shatter of windows when I sleep at night. Sleep is overrated anyway. Nate ponders for a moment, not certain what to say. I shiver from the nip in wind. Wet clothes are not the best for this weather.
"What are their names?" He finally asks. The five fish on the rope in his hand, stink like crazy. It might get to me soon if this conversation doesn't end in the near future.
"All four of them?" I scoff at the number so small, yet entire and infinite. "My father taught me how to defend myself you know. I hated him, but still tried to win his love. I realized too late that he actually did care for me." I know Nate didn't ask that, but I am not ready to share their names. Speaking them makes the loss final. I begin to walk away. Nate shuffles under my lead, until we approach the Coulter's home. My hair is all over the place, but I didn't seem to notice or mind till now.
"Goodnight, Nate." He is annoyed, but in seconds, he resigns, and chooses not to correct me.
"Here," he lifts up the fish for me to take, "Allie and I caught these before...everything."
"You are very sweet, but are you sure you want to give me your supper?"
"We have leftovers."
"How about this? I can cook the fish and bring the rest of it over for the two of you." Nathan almost objects, but I stop him with my index finger. "No arguments."
Hi! I'm back! Here is the long awaited chapter you have been dreaming about. Haha! Well, maybe not dreaming. Anyway, I have written this chapter and another chapter that will be posted right away after this one since the big absence. Moving is hard, Y'all. It is crazy hard. We just sold our house, so we will be moving Illinois, from Minnesota pretty soon.
I cannot tell you enough how much I love reading everyone's comments on my story. It was a picture in my head, and now it is a blossoming adventure I have fallen in love with. I hope to make things move a little faster at some point, but I also need to take it slowly because of all the complex dynamics here. Lucas, Nyrah, Nathan, and Elizabeth have so much more to navigate yet. NOT a spoiler, per se, but I already know who Nyrah ends up with, so I hope I am able to make make it easy and hard to figure it out at the same time . I would cherish to read your comments on who you think it could be.