Elizabeth's Journal Entry:
Life is a journey, defined not by a destination, but by the company we keep. I'm lucky enough to have the most amazing little man with whom I share my most precious moments. And wonderful friends who help me along the way. There are those who challenge me when I need it most, and others whose life challenges require my support. Through it all, I will never forget to appreciate the little moments that come and go so quickly. Because in fact there is nothing little about them. They will always form a very big part of who I am.
This morning is filled with the most exotic perfume called Spring. Lines of people pass me by as I find my way to Elizabeth's. It is Sunday.
Elizabeth buttons up her coat after finally finding her purse, while Lee and Rosemary are having a fine old time playing with little Jack. A puppet on each hand, Rosemary is stealing all of Jack's attention from her husband. Three taps sound.
"Who's at the door?" Lee asks the obvious, while Elizabeth rushes to answer it.
"Allie, what are you doing here?" The tea cup hovers half-way toward my lips. I forgot that this happens. Elizabeth is good at handling things like this. I have faith in her abilities.
"Is Miss Sutton here? She wasn't at her house, and I want to stay with her. I can't live with uncle Nathan anymore." That is unexpected, and I didn't sign up for this. But my concern outweighs my discomfort when Elizabeth makes eye contact with me. Elizabeth ushers the girl inside. A blue stachel and a suitcase find their way onto the floor. "What happened?" Elizabeth questions. I motion them to come closer since this involves me as well, and Allie joins us on the couch, past the subtle sun rays through the window. "I can't stay at our house," Allie laments, her thick brown hair tied tighter than normal into a ponytail.
The schoolteacher has her hands in her lap, "Allie, is this about your grandfather? Does your uncle know that you are here?"
The girl shakes her head, "He would have just tried to stop me." A quick hand on her arm, I interject, "I think we need to have a talk with him."
She shakes her head more fervently, begging us with her eyes for us to see reason, "I'm not talking to him right now." Her frown deepens.
"But maybe he could explain, " Elizabeth says.
"He doesn't listen, especially when it comes to grandpa. He won't even let me see him!"
Elizabeth shares a look with Rosemary and then me before addressing Allie once more. "Why don't you go to church with Mr. and Mrs. Coulter and little Jack. Nyrah and I will talk to your uncle and be right along." Allie appears uncertain, before I nod to the girl, signaling to give it a chance.
"It will be fun," Rosmary beams, "we'll take the long way around the pond."
"Come on, Allie, we are going to church now." Lee leads her out the door, little Jack in arm.
"What a morning." I puff a lock of my bangs away from my eyes. It is time to trim them again.
The early spring air is cold enough for clouds of steam to billow from our noses. The mighty church bell tolls in the distance, a cool mist spinning behind people as they weave their way to church. I decided to wear a red dress this morning, and I feel like a walking poppy flower. I guess it doesn't matter. And here I thought I have been getting out of my head lately. Elizabeth must have noticed something, so she asks me if everything is alright.
"I'm fine. I'm just worried for Allie and Nathan, " I lie. This doesn't mean I lack concern.
"I know what you mean." The woman curls a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry that Allie dragged you into all of this. She's just...a little lost since her grandfather arrived in town." Why is Elizabeth sorry? I'm not sorry at all. The situation is complicated, sure, but I have somehow been allowed to be a part of it. Allie trusts me enough to cry on my shoulder, and Nathan has proven to trust me as well. I have not been afforded this kind of friendship in my lifetime thus far. I'm addicted. "It really isn't a problem," I assure her, "I'm sorry they are having conflict, but I am touched that Allie wanted to stay with me." A red serge flits past the glint on the window just ahead, and I nudge Elizabeth. Only two or three individuals stroll down the main street past the infirmary. Gooseflesh prickles over my skin when we barge right in. Elizabeth is more anxious than I am.
"Goodmorning," she says immediately to Nate. I stand in silence with a wish that I could do the talking, since it is my home that Allie wants to stay in, but I hold my tongue. Elizabeth is the schoolteacher. Not me.
Archie Grant sits on the cot in his cell, shoes shuffling on the squeaky floor as he readjusts for comfort. His eyes land on me, a curious stare into my soul I'm not accustomed to. It is as if he is attempting to figure me out, so I pull my sleeves down with each hand, clutching to each hem to release nervous energy.
Nate is far more clean and organized than I am, but this is his workplace, so of course it needs to be spotless. Some documents are not replaceable.
Elizabeth converses with Nate just as she does in the show and we slink outside so Archie will not eavesdrop.
"Where is she now?" Nate is visibly distressed, but looks directly at me.
"She is at church. Lee and Rosemary are with her, " Elizabeth comments. Nathan becomes more annoyed than concerned now.
"I'm sorry she dragged you both into all this." A faint breeze tousles the ends of his hair. "She has a tendency to overreact."
I pipe up, jumping past Elizabeth, straight to what he is thinking, "Nate...Allie's suitcase was not empty."
I am the first to shake the pastor's hand. Mostly because I sat in the back pew. Everyone gathers outside, more sunshine dispelling the fog. Florence is beaming at everyone. Ned Yost and Molly are conversing with Bill, until the former mounty moves on toward Nathan. It appears that Nate has already broken the news to his niece about his refusal in allowing her to live with me; she is nowhere to be seen.
I realize it has only been a couple of days since Allie's sleepover, but I get the feeling that Nate is becoming distant.
His scent announces his presence. I have memorized the mixture of amber wood and vanilla. Lucas lingers in my vicinity, staring at Elizabeth now conversing with Nathan. Lucas is the curious type...intent with everything he says or does. His heart beats for Elizabeth; he aches for her and her precious little Jack in arm, spit-coated knuckles and all. The child wears a loppy hat, forehead nestled into his mother's neck.
I am caught in the act, his amusement crescendoing from hard coal into a spark. "Is there something on my face?" His brows raise.
I flap my gloves against my palm. "Only a beard." He feigns offense, a hand on his chest. I enjoy this new side of Lucas. He isn't that mysterious one-sided coin I painted him out to be. I'm not used to this yet. "What's wrong with it?" He scratches his neck.
Nose in the air, I pretend to be more dignified than normal. The upper half of my body resembles Mr. Thinker, and half of my mouth lifts. The very second worry peels over his face, I back down, choking on a laugh. "Don't worry. It suits you better than anyone else I know."
Lucas and I chat, absent-minded of the journey back into town. Not long after, though, does Lucas abandon me to meet with Elizabeth. Probably to discuss the recent novel she has been clacking away on her typewriter for. I snatch a snow-white blossom from a barrel of flowers, ripping its petals.
Nathan tugs his horse, Newton, along the edge of the street. A man on a mission. He is leaving for Benson Hills. I know this because I have seen it before on a television screen. A warm conversation between the two of them, and his leg glides over the saddle. The horse trots slow, but when I come closer to say goodbye, thinking Nathan sees me and will stop, Newton is driven to move quicker. Radiant beams from the star in the sky warm my back as I race forward, the mountie's name on my lips, but the heart in my ribcage soon sputters, and the sound dies in my throat. Did he not notice I wished to speak with him? The stone in my stomach morphs into a boulder. I know he will return. I know I'll survive for not being able to wish him well on his trip. I know his father is the only thing on his mind. But I cannot help the aura of despair tainting my shadow sulking beneath my feet.
Morning. Sometimes I dispise it. Not today. The carrots in the Fruits and Produce stall gleam brighter, and the windows of the mayor's old office are freshly polished. I wave at Molly, who is meandering past Dottie's Dress Shop. Abigail's Cafe is always inviting, so I take part in its treasures within. Mainly the coffee. Elizabeth and Allie are lost over a silver tray. It is difficult to choose between two dozen of the best muffins in Hope Valley.
"May I join you ladies?" Rosemary and Clara don't answer, totally engrossed in their harmless plotting. I see where their attention lies, and it is on Elizabeth. Naturally. I only invite myself to sit down at their table at this point. Bill saunters over and fills my usual cup of dark roast, before I submit my request for the vegetable omelet. When Bill disappears into the kitchen, gray apron strings drooping, Rosemary and Clara finally notice my presence.
"Oh, it's nice to see you, Nyrah." Clara then shifts to a spirit of whispers. "I think I am going to ask Elizabeth to be a bridesmaid." I have discovered since greeting dawn with a few roosters from a nearby cabin, that I am in a mood. A treacherous mood. I know I am to be one of Clara's bridesmaids as well, but a slime-ridden root of envy wraps around my body, paralyzing every muscle. Elizabeth will always be on everyone's mind; she is the main character. It is to be expected, so why do my lungs spasm whenever Lucas and Nathan talk with her? Why did Nathan spurn my act of friendship? I have half a mind to demand answers from him later.
The idea of Elizabeth being Clara's bridesmaid, though, is a good one. Crumbling the ill attitude of five seconds ago into the rubbish bin, I settle my discomfort for the sake of friendship.
"Am I interrupting something?" Elizabeth purses her lips with a hint of mischief. The two women scramble. It is more than obvious they are bursting at the seams. I find myself to be far less excited about this, which concerns me.
"Well," Clara's eyes sparkle, "Rosemary is my matron of honor, and Nyrah is one of my bridesmaids...would you be willing to be another of my bridesmaids?"
Elizabeth turns giddy. "Of course I will!" Clara and Elizabeth embrace, Rosemary joining from behind...I chomp on my breakfast, wondering if it would be stupid to squeal like a squirrel and bound up and invite myself into the group hug. I decide it would be.
"Come on, Nyrah." Clara stretches her arm, and I accept it, melting into the love.
A wild sneeze blasts out of me, possibly blowing another cloud of dust into the atmosphere. Half a second passes, another tingle inside my nose on the prowel. I hate dusting, but it must be done. I repeat this mantra to myself while brushing off dead skincells from a nightstand, before sneezing again. Wiping my nose with a handkerchief, I think about Nathan. An odd time for him to come to mind, but hey, I do my best thinking in the outhouse as well.
Lucas is outside. I know, because I swiped a moment to gaze over the town from the balcony earlier. He was paging through Elizabeth's novel on his lunch break, and mine is to begin after I finish cleaning this room.
I think about Nathan again when I spread the pea-green bedcover over fresh linen. I ponder his convictions in life, comparing them to my own. Both Allie and Fiona have implied that Nathan loves me. I decide not to stress over it, and just let things take its course. I need to remain cautious anyway. A small gasp finds its way out my mouth as I see Nate with his father. He is talking with Elizabeth, and Archie walks away. He is finally proved innocent. A rush of energy strengthens my hungry stomach, my mind on the mounty more than food. All I want to do is rush out into the street, and thank him for returning home, safe. Instead, I fluff the pillows, and do my job. The creaky hinges swings the entrance ajar, Archie lingering in the doorway. "Mr. Bouchard was kind enough to give me my old room back, but I think it is time for me to get going. I'm sorry if I have interrupted your cleaning." He tilts his head, and I realize who Nate gets this trait from.
My cheeks glow with a calm smile, "I knew you were innocent this time." I share with him.
The older gentleman sucks in a breath, relieved that the worst is over for now. "I asked my son why you call him 'Nate'. You seem to be the only person who calls him that."
I clear my throat. "What did he say about it?"
"He avoided the question, but he wasn't exactly open to sharing personal things with me. I've been curious, though." His teeth show, a twinkle in his eye, index tapping the side of his nose.
"I felt it suited him I suppose." I rub my palms and bow my head, before gleaning the courage to raise it again. "I'm not certain why I call him that."
"I believe you will soon." I have no inclination as to why he said it, but he ushers himself out before I can ask. Since I had just finished my duties befor he came in, I rush after the man to see him out. "Wait, may see you off?" His hand on my upper back, he nods in appreciation.
"You know, miss Sutton...you are the kind of woman I hope my son will have the courage to marry." The kind tone in his voice touches my heart, and I wait outside as he heads toward a tied horse. "Your son should have someone he loves and depend on," I respond. "I don't know if someone like me would be that for him."
"Oh, I wouldn't stick to that. I believe you deserve my son far more than he deserves you." A blush nips at my skin, and speaking of his son, Nathan and Allie are approaching, just far enough away to convince me they did not hear what Archie said. "Well," Archie announces to his family, "I suppose I should push off while there is still light out."
"You don't have to leave so soon, you know." Allie shrinks.
"I know that sweetie, but a friend of mine is holding a job for me up north. It's...time for grandpa to make a better life for himself." A slip of paper in his grasp, Allie casts her gaze to the gravel below. "I'm glad you came."
"Oh, honey, so am I." He displays what he is holding, finally, for his granddaughter. "I have something for you. I had some time last night, and I know how you love stories about your mom, so I wrote a few." Nate is stoic, almost as if he cannot believe there is a good side to his father, but I see his shell cracking. There is a newfound respect. One that he has had little reason to ever have before. Archie says he will send Allie some stories every month.
"You promise?" She confirms.
"I promise."
Allie gives her grandpa the largest hug, and Nathan's hands are behind his back. "We'll stay in touch," he says.
"Oh, I made you a sandwich." Allie waves the brown paper bag like a flag.
"Thank you sweetheart. Why don't you put it in my saddlebag, but before she wraps around her grandpa to approach the horse, he adds, "Take it easy one your uncle. He loves you very much."
Allie smiles, "Yeah, I know." I get the sense I shouldn't be standing here, spying on all of them, but I can't help it. The resolution of a lifetime of bitterness in real life is more impactful than behind a screen.
"It has been good to see you. Hopefully the next time will be under better circumstances." Archie steps closer to say goodbye to Nathan. The shake hands. "Take care of yourself." Nate holds a small grin, barely noticeable, before he hooks both thumbs on his belt when Archie begins to mount. "Hey, dad," The old man pivots in surprise, and a hand is over my soft mouth. I am happy, but I also could bleed into the soil at the sound of Nathan calling Archie, "dad." The sound of my own father's voice comes to mind. He was hard to please, but my four-year-old self fought hard to forgive him. Even after his death, because of me, I still found ways to make him proud. I say that my dad taught me everything I know about self-defense, because when I turned eighteen, I worked two jobs so I could train at the martial arts studio he founded. As soon as I claped eyes on it. Even with an added story and pewter gray paint, I recognized his workplace.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry...for everything." Archie holds Nate's apology by cutting in, a regarding hand on his son's shoulder. "You don't ever have to apologize to me, son."
We all watch, Allie between the two of us, as Archie Grant clicks with his mouth for the horse to walk, bedroll strapped in, and pale reigns turning the quarter horse out of town. I cannot figure out how Nate is feeling, because he must be experiencing a host of different emotions. Perhaps he does not know himself which one he feels more.
"Nate-"
"Why do you call me that?" He interrupts, no anger in his tone.
"I-I don't know," is all I can offer the mounty.
"Did you know he was innocent?" He asks. There is something Nathan is doing with his words, and I become more confused. Why didn't he simply ask me if I had 'thought' if Archie was innocent? It is as if he suspected I already knew, and I did, but how did he know that? I'm probably overthinking here. He probably means the question differently than I am taking it. "I thought he was...It turns out I was correct."
Nathan nods, not fully convinced. "Yeah, I guess everyone could see it except for me."
"Nate." He lifts his eyes. "You are a noble man, who was hurt by his father's decisions. You had every right to suspect him, and no one blames you." There is tension around our group, and I speak up once again. "Would you both enjoy some fishing with me tomorrow?"
"How is that a question?" Allie pipes up, totally on board. Nathan is less enthusiastic, but nods. "Yeah, fishing sounds great."
Hey! It has been a little over a week since the last update. This chapter was so hard for me to finish. I wouldn't necessarily call is "Writer's Block," but every time I picked up my phone to wrote some more, it just wouldn't come, even though I had some ideas. Also, it was just a little longer. Longer than usual. This is only because I was trying to fit the rest of this episode in one chapter. Talk about a challenge. If sections seem too rushed, I apologize. I'd still love you to share your thoughts in the comments if you'd like. I love that you are enjoying this romance as much as I am. :)
STAY FABULOUS!