"Law and Order: SVU" belongs to Dick Wolf and Universal Television. No profit is being made from this story.

Elliot was clutching her so tightly that it hurt. She swallowed, her hands pressing against his back, and kept telling herself to breathe.

After a minute, he leaned back away from her, looking ashamed and mortified.

"Sorry," he said shakily, his eyes tightly closed. "I'm sorry about that, Liv."

Hearing that name again from his lips sent a lump swelling in Olivia's throat. She swiftly got up and then stood awkwardly next to the bed, not sure what to do.

Another sob escaped and he broke it off immediately, turning his face away.

"I just...missed you," he murmured. "So, so much."

He sounded completely heartbroken and it threatened to undo her. She had to bite her lip to keep from breaking down.

"I missed you, too," she confessed quietly.

It was the truth and she couldn't deny it. She had missed him like she would have missed a limb being cut off.

She had gotten used to it not being there. But if she could have gotten it back somehow, she would have done anything in the world.

But she still couldn't believe what her eyes were seeing. Or understand how, after all but erasing himself from her life, it was possible for Elliot to be in front of her, looking the way he did. Fin had said he didn't look the same, but never in her worst nightmares could she have envisioned the actual evidence of it.

Tears filled her eyes again despite her best effort when he turned his head and looked at her fully.

He wasn't just thin. His face was practically skeletal, as if he was malnourished. It looked like he hadn't had a shave in months and his hair looked to be falling out in patches near the top of his head. He had painful-looking sores around his nose.

But worse than all of that, at least in her view, was how much his eyes didn't look like they belonged to him anymore. They were the one part of him that had always defined his features and been her window to his mood, thoughts, and personality for thirteen years.

The eyes looking back at her at that moment looked completely dead. It was as if he had no life inside of him anymore.

It scared the hell out of her, but she didn't know what to say. She had a million questions.

He spoke before she could and broke the silence.

"Why are you here?" he asked. "How did you know where I was?"

She bit her lip.

"A cop from Brooklyn came to see me," she replied quietly. "He said you were in the lockup there a few days ago." She swallowed and held something out. "And that you had this in your pocket."

His eyes fell on the photo she was holding out but he didn't move to take it. He looked back at her, an odd look on his face that she didn't like.

It looked like fear.

"Elliot-"

Olivia couldn't keep from asking the one thing that had been on her mind since she heard about it.

"What is going on?" she finally said. "Have you been taking drugs?"

She was trying to keep the astonishment from her voice and failing. Elliot stared down at the blanket, nervously toying with it.

He didn't see her suddenly look sharply at the marks on his wrist.

"Yes," he whispered.

He couldn't look at her.

"Where have you been sleeping?"

She couldn't bear to think about what her imagination was supplying her. The thought of Elliot on the streets was too painful to comprehend.

Instead of answering, he asked her a question of his own.

"Fin said you have a son," he said quietly. "Is that true, Liv?"

She swallowed hard, suddenly wanting to burst into tears of anger and sorrow.

He should have been the person she had told first. He should have been there to love her son the way she had loved his kids. He should have been the one she called those first few months every time she worried that she wasn't good enough to be a mother.

Damn it, Elliot. It should have been you.

"Yes," she replied. "I do. His name is Noah."

The happiness in her voice was unmistakable and made him tear up again. He looked at her, his eyes red.

"I'm happy for you," he said painfully.

Her chin trembled. But before she could speak again, a soft knock broke the tension. A nurse came in.

"Hi," she said brightly. "I just need to check your IV."

Olivia cleared her throat and moved a few steps away, gathering herself again. The nurse made some notes on his chart.

"Would you like anything?" the nurse went on. "The doctor wants you on an easy diet to give your stomach a break for now. I can bring you some crackers and ginger ale...or maybe some orange juice?"

The hunger pangs couldn't be ignored and neither could his most desperate desire at the moment.

"Yes, please, to all of it," he said quietly. "Also...am I allowed I take a shower?"

The nurse looked surprised.

"Of course," she replied. "I'll bring you what you'll need when I come back with the crackers and drinks."

"Thank you," he said gratefully.

When the nurse left, Olivia looked at him hesitantly.

"I should go," she said awkwardly. "Do you want me to come back?"

He suddenly looked at her so frantically that it made her slightly nervous.

"Yes," he said quickly. "Please, Liv. Please, come back today." His eyes bore intensely into hers. "Will you?"

She nodded and he seemed to relax. Then something occurred to her.

"Do you want me to call Kathy?" she asked. "I'm sure she'll want to know where you are, Elliot."

She didn't mention that she had spoken to his son. But she couldn't imagine that Kathy would actively ignore that he was hurting.

"I'll do it," he said. "Just, please...make sure you come back today. Please."

She wondered if he had forgotten that she could still spot his lying tell from a mile away. He must have. Because she saw him squint when he said he would talk to his wife, so Olivia had a feeling he wasn't going to.

Nevertheless, she could sense how important it was to him to hear her say she was coming back.

"I will," she said. "I promise, Elliot."

April 2012

Emanuel Hernandez was coming up from the basement when Raul and Marco came in.

Raul was dragging a suitcase behind him. He whipped it around and unzipped it while it was still upright.

Emanuel had to step back to keep from being hit in the legs when a man tumbled out from inside and onto the floor in a heap.

"What the fuck?" he said, gaping in shock at the man laying bound and unmoving in front of them. He looked at his brothers. "Who the hell is that?"

Marco looked slightly nervous.

"A cop," he replied.

Emanuel's eyes bugged out of his head.

"A cop?" he screeched. He looked over at his oldest brother. Raul narrowed his eyes at him. "Are you a fucking idiot?!"

He looked like he might have a stroke. He kept shaking his head.

"Christ," he said anxiously. "Oh, Christ...we're dead men. We're fucking dead men! What the hell did you do?"

"Would you relax?" Raul snapped finally. "Jesus. Nothing is going to happen, you asshole. Calm down." He rolled his eyes. "Just put him downstairs before he wakes up."

Emanuel looked at Raul like he was insane.

"This is a bad idea, man," he said. "This is really bad idea."

Marco piped in. "I told you."

Raul balled his fist angrily.

"Shut your mouth," he growled. "Man up, you pussies. Christ." He stalked over and gripped the cop roughly by one arm, sliding him toward Marco. "Take him down. Now."

Emanuel shook his head, but moved to help his younger brother pick the man up. He swung heavily between them, but remained unconscious.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Raul," he said.

Raul just glared.

"Fuck off," he said sourly. "This wasn't even my idea."

Another man walked in and caught the tail-end of their words as the other two went down the stairs. He raised his eyebrows at Raul Hernandez.

"Stop worrying," he said. "You just keep getting me my supply."

His face was cold and calculating.

"As long as he's here," he went on, eyes flickering toward the stairs, "No one will be giving you any trouble. I'll make sure of that."

January 2020

When she got back to the precinct, Fin was waiting for her. He motioned for her to close her office door before he spoke.

"I went looking for Elliot around some of the local homeless shelters," he said quietly. "Staff at one of them think he may have been there, but no one else seems to know him."

He was looking at her contritely.

"I'm going to keep looking, Olivia," he said. "I promise I'll do my best to find him."

She winced guiltily.

"I'm sorry, Fin," she said. "I didn't mean to blow up at you. This whole thing has been a shock." She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "You don't need to look for him anymore. I know where he is."

She inhaled slowly and looked at him.

"The cop that came to see me?" she reminded him. Fin nodded. "He told me Elliot was at a hospital in Brooklyn. That's where I just came from."

A worried look came over Fin's face.

"Shit," he said in alarm. "Is he alright?"

Olivia shook her head, uncertain of how much she should tell him. She was still trying to figure it out herself.

"No," she finally replied. "I don't think he is."

Fin looked to be weighing what to say.

"Well, I don't mean to make things any more complicated," he said, "but you need to see what Rollins just found out about our child victim. She recognized Elliot."

She followed him out of the office. Amanda was leaning over Kat's shoulder, looking at the other detective's computer. She looked up when Olivia and Fin approached

"You got something?" Olivia asked.

Rollins nodded.

"Melissa identified the photo of the cop who's DNA was on her shirt," she said.

Olivia glanced at Fin, wondering if they knew that Elliot had been her partner. From the way Amanda spoke, it didn't sound like it. She didn't bring it up.

"She said he was 'on the bed next to her in the basement,'" she continued.

Olivia looked at the other woman, confused.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

Kat jumped in then.

"She wouldn't say," she said. "But-"

She began typing.

"I had TARU looking for her image on the internet while we've been trying to locate her family, to see if it may have been part of any child pornography websites," she continued. "They just emailed me this morning. They got a hit."

She gestured for Olivia to look. Olivia bent over her other shoulder.

There on the screen, their victim looked out with big, solemn eyes. The advertisement under her promised "kinky adventures with your dream girl" to anyone interested. But instead of a phone number or email to contact, there was an unreadable encrypted code.

Olivia furrowed her brow. "What is that?"

"We don't know," Rollins answered. "TARU is still working on it."

Kat was looking at Olivia pensively.

"I couldn't stop thinking about what Melissa said," she began, "and that's when I noticed something. I had TARU enlarge the picture."

She made a few more keystrokes and the girl's face was suddenly blown up so much that the only thing in the frame was the edge of one eye. Kat motioned again.

"Look next to her," she said.

Olivia followed her direction.

Then her stomach jumped into her throat and she suddenly gripped the back of the chair Kat sat in. Fin looked sick when he realized what they were looking at.

The enlargement of the photo showed what looked like a rail, with a hand tied to it and an arm extended out.

An eagle, globe, and anchor tattoo was starkly visible on the forearm portion.

April 2012

He came back to consciousness in a dizzy haze. His head lolled to the side and he instantly felt the prickling sensation from his arms hanging upright in place.

He wiggled his fingers as much as he could from where his hands were tied painfully tight. A groan pushed against the gag, unable to fully form.

Elliot blinked heavily and looked around as best he could.

On a bed a few yards away, two boys sat silently, eating a tray of some kind of mushy substance. The chains on their wrists clanged each time one of them raised an arm, the slack enabling each boy to just barely lift a hand to his mouth.

On another bed, three small girls sat and stared at him. They watched his bare toes wiggling as he tried vainly to shift himself more upright.

One of the girls was drinking a bottle of something. Elliot's throat tightened involuntarily as he looked at her.

He was suddenly so thirsty that he would have sawed his arm clean off to get at that bottle if given half a chance.

Their captors had initiated the food and water "system" almost immediately. No one was allowed anything until he or she completed the daily assignment given by whoever decided to come downstairs. The girl currently in possession of the water had just come from a session with a pimp and both boys had taken turns with a man in his car earlier that day.

Each day so far, one of the men had came over to him and smugly told him that he could have food and water, too...just as soon as he had finished his assignment.

Elliot had managed to resist so far. But he was going on the fourth day of captivity, having had nothing to eat or drink. He was so weak that he could barely keep his eyes open.

He had a choice to make.

He could succumb slowly, starved to death and fatally dehydrated...or he could do what they wanted.

He just wasn't sure which one would be worse.

January 2020

Olivia had asked Amanda if she minded having Noah come over and watch a movie with her and her daughters that evening while she ran an errand. Amanda had been happy to have him.

She didn't mention where she was going and Amanda never asked.

It was nearly dusk when she walked back into Brookdale University Hospital and Medical Center. She went up to Elliot's room and knocked on the open door.

Then she abruptly stopped when she came inside. The room was empty.

A nurse walked by and saw her.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked

Olivia gestured inside the hospital room.

"Where is the patient that was here earlier?" she asked. "Elliot Stabler?"

The nurse scrolled down the Ipad she held.

"It says here..." Her finger stopped. "He checked out AMA about an hour ago, looks like."

Gobsmacked, Olivia shook her head, not understanding.

It didn't make sense. He had been so adamant earlier about her coming back there. Why would he leave?

The nurse walked away and that's when Olivia noticed the photograph laying in the middle of the sliding tray by the bed.

She walked in and picked it up, seeing the now-familar picture of she and Elliot, and saw light indentations shining through the glossy paper.

She flipped it over. There was writing on the back:

O-

Central Parking, 117 Kent Ave

Meet when dark at back exit.

Please.

-E

Biting her lip in thought, Olivia walked out of the room.

Elliot was shrouded in the darkness against the concrete wall, in a position that allowed him to watch every car that passed through the garage without being seen.

He saw one pull in and stop a few feet away. He tensed nervously, stiffening.

Then he recognized Olivia getting out and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Liv," he said quietly, coming out of the shadows toward her.

She couldn't hold back a gasp when she saw him.

Elliot had gotten to shave since she had last seen him hours before. He was wearing what looked like hospital scrubs, but otherwise, he looked...exactly the way she remembered.

It was an amazing, unbelievable sight after all this time. Tears pricked her eyes.

He stopped for a brief moment, gauging her expression, and then crossed the distance between them in three huge strides.

He reached out and surprised her by grabbed her into a fierce hug, so enthusiastically that he actually lifted her clear off the ground for a moment. She caught her breath as he set her back down.

"Sorry," he said, stepping back. "I'm sorry I keep hugging you-" He looked at his feet. "But, God, I missed you."

She shook her head

"Don't apologize," she replied. "I missed you, too, Elliot. You have no idea."

The wind picked up then and that's when she realized he was in short sleeves.

"Come on," she said. "Get in the car before you freeze."

He didn't need to be told twice. Once they were inside, she turned the heater on full blast.

He practically melted into the seat, it felt so nice. He had to stop a groan from escaping so he wouldn't embarrass himself.

She reached behind her to the backseat.

"I got you something," she said, pulling a white paper bag up between them. "I thought maybe you haven't eaten in awhile."

Surprised, Elliot looked down into it and saw an extra-large burger, fries, and salad. He raised his head again, blinking back tears.

Christ, he was starving. And she had anticipated it without him having to even tell her.

His awed expression made Olivia want to cry. He looked at her hesitantly and she quickly gestured at him.

"Go ahead," she encouraged. "It's all yours."

Like a flip had been switched, Elliot began shoveling down the food with primal urgency. He couldn't control himself. He nearly made himself sick, but he couldn't stop.

She watched him until he was finished. He blew out a shaking breath as he set the bag down.

"Thank you," he murmured gratefully.

He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes.

Olivia couldn't stand it anymore. She burst out with the question that she had been wanting to ask since the moment she had seen his DNA.

"Elliot," she said desperately. "What's happened to you? Please tell me what's going on. I don't understand."

His eyes snapped back open.

She was searching his face. The intensity of her stare was too much and he had to look away, swallowing.

"I can't tell you," he whispered.

His eyes were fixed on the mirror outside the window. He was suddenly tense.

Olivia shook her head in confusion.

"Why?" she asked, trying not sound as emotional as she felt. "You used to be able to tell me anything." She couldn't keep the hurt from her voice. "Why won't you talk to me? What happened to being my partner?"

She realized that she was bordering on hysterics and bit off the rest of her words.

Tears were leaking down his face as he gazed out the window.

"I can't tell you," he said again. He looked back at her desperately. "You have a son now, Olivia. You have a son."

"What does that have to do with anything?" she exploded crazily, unable to take it anymore. "Why are you on the street? Why are you taking drugs? Why are you acting like this, damn it?!"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T LET HIM FIND YOU!" Elliot finally shouted back, losing control.

Olivia was shocked into silence.

He balled his fists, shaking, and breathed hard.

"I can't stay in one place," he said harshly. "I can't be in a hospital where they can give out my name, I can't go home to my family, and I can't be around you, Olivia!"

The fear on his face made her feel sick.

"If he finds me, then he finds everyone I love," he said. "You, Kathy, my boys...he'll kill all of us. All of us." He swallowed frantically. "Including your son. He can find anyone. Anyone."

Tears gathered in her eyes as he gave up and sobbed, hanging his head.

"He already got my girls," he gasped. "I can't let him get anyone else."

She was horrified.

"Who, Elliot?" she asked. "Who did?"

Elliot shook his head, red eyes looking so frightened as he gazed at her that she wanted to cry out.

"That's the whole point, Liv," he whispered. "I can't remember. Anyone could be him. He could be anywhere."

"Why do you think that?" she asked.

His face twisted.

"Because I do remember his badge," he said shakily. "Olivia..he's U.S. Marshal."

April 2012

Elliot moaned, unable to stand it anymore. It had taken four days, but he had finally decided to relent. He had to have something to drink or he would die.

All of the sudden, footsteps rapidly descended down.

Elliot blinked wearily at the approaching figure and then was hit with such overwhelming relief when he recognized who it was that he almost collapsed down against his bonds.

Rescue had finally arrived. Thank God.

Deputy U.S. Marshal Brent Woodhouse stepped closer and stared down at Elliot laying bound and gagged on the bed for a long moment.

Then Raul Hernandez came up next to him and handed Woodhouse a paper bag. Elliot made a muffled sound of shock as he watched the marshal take it and then hand over a wad of cash.

"Thank you, sir," Woodhouse said teasingly.

He looked at Elliot again, and his next words made Elliot's stomach drop to his feet.

"You need to move them out quick," he said. "My team will be here within an hour."

Elliot's eyes widened in disbelief and horror.

Woodhouse smirked, seeing his expression, and then addressed him directly.

"Oh, and don't worry, Detective," he said. "I already called Captain Cragen to tell him what a fantastic job you've been doing. You're invaluable, really. In fact...I even recommended that you stay on for a longer assignment."

He smiled in amusement.

"Of course, you were happy to agree," he went on. "You're so dedicated! I told him how grateful I am for sending you."

Elliot shook his head desperately, unable to believe what was happening.

Woodhouse winked at him and followed Hernandez back up the stairs.