"Law and Order: SVU" belongs to Dick Wolf and Universal Television. No profit is being made from this story.

Sorry this update took longer. Deployed husband + three babies= no time to breathe.

Olivia shifted the pizza box carefully to the crook of her elbow and unlocked the apartment door. She followed Noah inside.

"Put your stuff in your room," she warned, seeing her son about to sling off his backpack.

She set the box on the kitchen table. There was no sign of life in the living room.

"Elliot?" she called. "I brought dinner."

No answer. Noah came in and eagerly reached for the lid of the box. She took three plates from the cabinet and set one in front of him, even though he was already devouring a slice of pizza.

She walked back to her bedroom. The door was open and she saw a rumpled space on her bed, but otherwise it appeared empty.

Then she saw half of a foot sticking out of the bathroom.

"Elliot?" she said in concern, hurrying into the room.

He jumped when he heard her call his name. But he didn't move from where he sat slumped against the bathtub.

Olivia appeared in the doorway, looking worried.

"Are you sick?" she asked.

Elliot could barely respond. He was so weak and dizzy that even blinking gave him a headache. She winced when a panicked look came over his face and he pulled himself up to the open toilet bowl to puke.

He collapsing back down to the floor when he finished, shaking so hard that he couldn't keep still.

"I can't move," he moaned in agony. His eyes were squeezed shut. "Oh, God. Oh, God."

A horrific realization slammed into her as she suddenly remembered.

He had been using drugs. This probably wasn't illness.

She inhaled slowly.

"It's withdrawal, isn't it?" she said softly, trying to keep her voice light and not sound judgmental.

It obviously didn't work. He wouldn't meet her eyes and what little she could see of his face was twisted with guilt. Her mind raced with anxiety as she tried to figure out what to do.

"Can you get up?" she asked. "I'll help you."

She took his shaking hands in hers and squeezed for a brief moment, trying to get him to look at her. He kept his face down and refused. But he let himself use her for balance as he climbed to his feet because he had no choice.

Elliot held on dizzily to her shoulder as she helped him back to her bed. She pulled the covers back and he laid down miserably. He was shivering uncontrollably.

She sat next to him and tucked the duvet around him as tightly as she could.

"What did you take when you overdosed?" she asked quietly.

His voice was lifeless when he answered

"Meth," he said woodenly. "I think."

Olivia had to fight the sudden urge to cry. She struggled to keep her voice steady.

"How long have you been using?"

He was suddenly so exhausted that he could hardly concentrate. He shook his head.

"Don't know," he slurred, struggling to stay awake. His next words made her freeze in shock. "They tied me up. Made me...keep taking them."

She had to force herself to keep breathing in. She wasn't expecting that.

He was practically asleep. She bit her lip and stroked over his forehead silently

"Just rest," she finally said. "It's going to be alright, Elliot. You just rest right now."

He didn't reply. He was already breathing deeply in slumber, unconsciously clutching the blankets around himself.

Olivia let out a shuddering breath. She composed herself and then went to retrieve the wastebasket from the bathroom to set next to him.

Then she left the room quietly, pulling the door partly closed.

Fin sat in his car in the precinct parking lot, his mind going in a million different directions. None of them were reassuring.

Their child victim had evidently been sex trafficked along with several others. And even though it hadn't been outright confirmed yet...it looked as if Elliot had, too.

It was sickening to think about.

How had it happened? Who had done it?

How was he going to tell Olivia?

She was going to find out regardless. But it didn't feel right to have such horrible, personal details about Elliot be discovered by opening a file. He knew how much she still cared for her partner and he felt like he owed it to her as a friend to let her know personally.

He also owed it to Elliot. Especially after the callous way he had ended their last meeting.

His cell phone rang in the middle of his thoughts. It was Olivia, as if she had been reading his mind.

"Hi, Liv," he answered.

"Hey," she replied quietly. "Where are you?"

She sounded...strange. Hesitant. His brow furrowed.

"I'm about to leave the station," he told her.

She paused.

"I know it's sudden, " she said, "but-" She swallowed. "I think I'm going to need help. Could you come over for a minute?"

He was surprised but agreed immediately.

"Sure," he said. "I'm on my way."

"Thanks," she said.

She paused before continuing.

"Before you get here," she said, "I'm going to need you to stop at a store and get some things. I'll pay you back."

His brow furrowed slightly.

"Ok," he replied. "What things?"

April 2012

Raul Hernandez came down into the basement holding a bottle of water and walked over to him. Elliot followed him with his eyes, so weak that he couldn't lift his head.

The man shook the water slowly back and forth in front of him. A moan of longing escaped as Elliot watched him.

"You know," Hernandez said conversationally. "It's been pretty impressive to see how long a fit guy like yourself can last without food of water. I've heard it can take up to a week to kill some people if they're really lucky."

He shrugged. "You're already halfway there. Maybe you'll be lucky, too."

He opened the bottle and took a long whimpered and then let out a choked sob.

"You ready for water now?" he asked flatly.

Elliot closed his eyes.

Then he finally nodded without opening them.

The other man took out his cell phone and texted rapidly. He received a reply almost immediately.

"Looks like you're in luck," he said, raising his eyes to Elliot. He waved the phone. "There's someone already interested and on the way."

Shoving the phone back in his pocket, Hernandez pulled out something else and came closer.

The feeling of the gun suddenly resting on his forehead made Elliot's eyes fly open. He froze, hardly even wanting to exhale.

"Let's just go over the ground rules, in case you forgot," Hernandez said menacingly. He slowly moved the gun between Elliot's eyes and watched the Adam's apple bob nervously. "Whatever the customer wants, you give him. If he leaves satisfied, you get to live. If not-"

He cocked the hammer back.

"You get your brains out of your ears," he concluded. He gestured to the children. "I'll be here the whole time. You try and do anything stupid and I'll pick one of them to shoot before you. Got that?"

Elliot swallowed behind the tape and nodded slowly again.

Hernandez backed away and went to the bottom of the stairs. Elliot's heart was hammering. When he heard footsteps coming down a few minutes later, his throat almost closed completely.

A burly red-haired man stepped off the last stair.

"How much?" he asked, reaching into his pocket.

"Six hundred for thirty minutes," Hernandez replied. The other man counted out six bills and handed them over. "I stay here the whole time. You have a problem with that, you can go somewhere else."

The red-haired man looked over at Elliot with a hungry expression that would end up remaining in his nightmares years later

"What, is he a biter or something?" the man asked, seeing the tape over his lips. "I'm not really into bondage, you know."

Hernandez sneered at the man.

"You want him untied, you pay extra," he said. "And it's not going to be the hands, so don't bother asking." He paused and then added, "I can take off the tape until you're finished."

He looked at Elliot threateningly.

"He knows what will happen if he bites."

The man seemed to agree. He began toeing off his shoes and untucking his shirt.

Elliot watched the man with rising dread as he walked closer, unbuckling his belt. He looked over at Hernandez again.

"Can he at least turn over?"

Elliot pressed his face against the mattress, groaning in pain each time the man moved, and tried to take his mind anywhere else he possibly could.

It didn't happen. He was sobbing before the man got through the first two minutes and didn't stop even after it was all over.

Once the man left, Marco Hernandez came down with water. Elliot didn't move, not even to try and lift his head. He turned his face slowly, tears running silently down onto the mattress beneath him, and mechanically opened his mouth.

As he swallowed a mouthful of water without feeling it, he found himself for the first time wishing he had just let himself die instead.

January 2020

"Baby," Olivia said, stepping up beside where her son sat eating. "Listen to me for a minute, ok?"

Noah gazed up at her obediently, chewing. She inhaled slowly and took a minute to think of her words.

"Do you remember that time you got sick after Dylan McCabe's birthday party last year?" she began.

He thought for a second.

"You mean when I threw up in the car?" he asked.

She nodded.

"And remember how yucky you felt and how you spent all day laying in my bed until you felt better?"

He nodded that he did.

"Well, right now, Elliot is sick kind of like that," she said. "He threw up just like you did then, so he's laying in my bed until he feels better, too. Fin is going to come over with some things to help him. If you want, I bet he will watch a movie with you, if you ask."

Noah's eyes lit up.

"Can I have popcorn?" he asked eagerly.

"Sure," she replied with a light smile.

"Can I stay up late?" Noah pressed excitedly.

She shook her head with a chuckle. "Don't push it," she said. "You can stay up until the movie is over."

He smiled.

"He'll be here soon," Olivia said. "Why don't you go turn on Netflix and pick something out? I'll make the popcorn."

Noah went into the living room and turned on the TV. She unwrapped a bag of popcorn and stuck it in the microwave. As it started popping, she poured a glass of water and moved quietly out of the kitchen.

She poked her head back into her bedroom. Elliot was shivering under the covers, looking uncomfortable even in his sleep.

Olivia set the glass on the bedside table. He murmured in his sleep and she reached out to rub his back through the blankets.

She heard a knock on the front door. Pursing her lips sadly, Olivia tucked the blankets more securely around him and went to answer it.

Fin stood on the other side with two shopping bags.

"Hey," she greeted him somberly. "Thanks so much, Fin. Come in."

"You alright?" he asked as he stepped inside

Fin had assumed that either Olivia or Noah was sick, judging by what she had asked him to bring over.

"I'm fine," she replied quietly.

She looked apprehensive. He looked at her hesitantly, but before he could say anything else, Noah ran over.

"Fin!" Noah yelled excitedly.

He smiled at Olivia's son.

"Hey, buddy," he said He held out his hand and Noah slapped him a high five. "How's it going?"

"You want to watch 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' with me?" he asked. "Mom made us popcorn."

Fin glanced at Olivia for a minute. She shook her head slightly, silently asking him not to ask questions right then.

"Sure," he said. "Let me help your mom with this stuff first and then we'll do it."

Noah went back into the living room. Fin went with Olivia into the kitchen, but was surprised when she gestured for him to follow her instead of unpacking the bags.

"Come here," she said quietly

He followed her as she walked to her bedroom, growing increasingly more uncomfortable as they approached. He had never actually been inside that room and it felt awkward that she seemed to be expecting him to.

"Olivia-" he began.

She put a finger to her lips, warning him to be quiet as she pushed open the door and stepped inside. He stopped mid-sentence, shocked into silence as he got a full view of her bed. Even with half of his face buried in a pillow, Fin recognized Elliot immediately.

He was breathing harshly, his eyes screwed tightly shut, and appeared to be racked with chills. He had curled into a tight ball under the covers and Fin could see sweat shining on his forehead.

His disbelief was evident on his face as Olivia beckoned him back out and closed the door again.

"You said he was at the hospital," Fin said lowly.

She shook her head helplessly, stopping in the hallway. He wasn't sure if it was for Elliot's benefit or Noah's that she didn't want to be overheard.

"He checked himself out the same day I went to see him," she murmured. "I couldn't just leave him." She turned to face him and Fin could see her eyes bright with tears. "He needs help, Fin. He's in drug withdrawal."

Fin tried to tread carefully when he spoke.

"Olivia, I know you want to help him," he began, "but just giving him the bottles of Gatorade and anti-nausea medicine I brought isn't going to cut it. He needs to be seen by a doctor who can get him safely off of whatever he's been using."

"I know that," she said. "But right now, I can almost guarantee that he won't go." He could see pain in her expression. "He thinks a U.S. Marshal is after him."

The words took Fin by surprise. She shook her head tearfully.

"He's terrified, Fin," she whispered. "He wouldn't stay in the hospital because he thought someone could be told he was there. He's afraid to go home. He didn't even want to come here because he was scared this guy will come after Noah and me."

"What guy?" he asked.

She shrugged helplessly.

"That's why he's so scared," she said. "He can't remember who it is." She rubbed a hand over her face. "Something bad has obviously happened to him. But until he can think clearly, I'm not sure there's anything we can do to find out exactly what."

Fin thought again of what he and Amanda had found out.

"Has he told you anything?" he asked.

She bit her lip.

"He said that someone tied him up and made him take drugs," she replied. "Which would make that picture we saw make more sense. We saw someone tied up and it definitely seems to be him."

Fin sighed heavily.

"I don't think that's all that happened to him," he said gravely.

The tone of his voice alarmed her. He looked like he regretted having to keep speaking as he told her what they had found out from the doctor that day.

"With everything we've found out so far," he said. " Olivia...it's sounding more and more like he was somehow a victim of the same sex traffickers as the little girl."

Hearing her own suspicions echoed by Fin made her heart sink. She hadn't wanted to believe it.

She couldn't believe it.

He shook his head. "But I'm not sure how a U.S. Marshal would fit into it. The doctor said they were the ones who rescued everyone."

"Mom!"

Olivia was so intensely focused that her son startled her when he came up to them. She quickly plastered a pleasant expression on her face and moved away from the hallway.

"What's up, Baby?" she said.

Noah was holding out the remote.

"It's asking for a password," he said.

Fin stepped away from the bedroom door as she began following after her son. She paused for a moment and looked back at him.

"We need to get her to tell us more about what happened," she said. "And find out who put those pictures on the Internet. Until Elliot can tell us, she's our only chance."

As she began putting the password into the TV, Noah smiled at Fin.

"Are you going to stay and watch it?" he asked.

Fin glanced at Olivia. She nodded.

"Sure will," he said, winking at the boy.

Olivia told Noah to get the popcorn. When he was out of earshot, Fin spoke to her again.

"I'll try to find out some available rehab options for him on Monday," he said. "It might help."

She nodded. He eyed her in concern.

"You want me to stay tonight?" he suggested quietly. "He's going to be in for a rough weekend. You're probably going to need some help."

As much as she hated to admit it, Olivia knew he was right.

Noah came back with a bowl brimming with popcorn.

"You're in luck tonight, buddy," she said tiredly. She shared a look with Fin. "Looks like we're having a slumber party.

May 2012

She was fixing lunch for her son when the phone rang. She reached for it as she was cutting the grilled cheese sandwich into squares.

"Hello?" Kathy answered pleasantly.

"Hi, Kathy," the male voice replied. "It's Don Cragen."

She smiled. The captain had been calling her every two weeks since Elliot had left, just to check that everything was alright and to ask if she needed anything.

He had never outright said so, but she had a strong feeling that her husband had asked his boss to do so while he was gone.

"Hi, Captain," she replied. "How are you?"

Cragen steeled himself as he sat in his office.

"I'm great," he said. "Thank you." He paused. "But there's something I need to tell you."

He was trying to keep his voice light so she wouldn't be alarmed. But she found her heart skipping a beat anyway.

"What happened?" she asked. Dread rose from her stomach immediately. "Oh, God...Elliot's hurt, isn't he, Don?"

The captain winced slightly.

"No," he quickly assured her. " He's not hurt, Kathy. He's fine." She breathed a sigh of relief. "But...well, it looks as if his assignment may be changing."

She sounded puzzled. "Changing how?"

"I just got word from the U.S. Marshal Deputy Director that Elliot asked to go deeper undercover," he told her. "Apparently, he's really helped with their case and they offered to keep him on with their team."

Kathy tried to control the anxiety she was feeling.

"What does that mean, deeper undercover?" she asked desperately. "Is he still going to come home when you said he would?"

Cragen spoke delicately, sensing she was upset.

"Unfortunately," he said, "I don't know that. If he's taken a different assignment, that means that he's now on the Marshals' timeline. Right now, I haven't heard anything about how long it might take."

She could hear him hesitate.

"What?" she prompted.

He hated to say it. But he couldn't lie to Elliot Stabler's wife.

"Kathy, federal undercover jobs can last a lot longer than a regular cop assignment," he said. "I'm not trying to worry you, but sometimes...well, sometimes certain assignments can take years."

Her stunned silence filled the air.

"Now, I'm not saying that's going to happen this time," he hurried to say. "But you need to be made aware of the possibility."

"No," she whispered. She was talking more to herself. "He promised me he wouldn't do this again after the last time. He promised."

Cragen tried awkwardly to reassure her.

"Elliot is doing such a great job, Kathy," he said. "Deputy Director Woodhouse said he's done tremendous things so far. I'm sure he's just trying to make sure he finishes the job. You know focused he gets...I know he would never do anything to purposely hurt you."

She was trying not to cry. She couldn't believe this.

"Can he call me?" she asked. "Please, Don...I just want to talk to him."

"I don't think he's going to be able to get in contact right now," he replied quietly. "They asked me to call you. I'm assuming it's because he's already undercover and can't risk any outside communication."

She shook her head, tears rolling down her face.

"I promise I'll do my absolute best to get him in contact with you," Cragen told her. "I'll make sure you're the first person he calls the moment he's able to."

Kathy hung up and tried to keep the sobs from spilling out.

I can't handle this again.

How could he do this?

January 2020

Elliot slept for almost thirty hours straight from Friday night into Sunday.

Olivia was worried sick. She kept going to check on him and telling Fin she thought something was wrong.

Fin kept trying to reassure her. He had seen a lot of addicts during his time working in Narcotics and even though it had been almost twenty years since then, he couldn't have forgotten if he'd wanted to.

As long as he stayed hydrated, the best thing for Elliot until they could get him into treatment of some kind was rest. His body was going through a lot and it would only get worse.

She didn't sleep very much, herself. She gave Fin the couch, but instead of bunking in Noah's room like she'd said she would, Olivia spent most of the night sitting up in her bedroom next to the bed.

Elliot woke periodically, but wasn't very coherent whenever he did. He downed the Gatorade with surprising verocity each time he was conscious and was obviously still extremely nauseous, although he didn't vomit again. He finally accepted the anti-emetic she gave him after a painful bout of dry-heaving that left his insides aching.

Fin had assumed that everyone was asleep when he bedded down at about 2 am that first night. Olivia had disappeared into her bedroom and hadn't returned and the apartment was quiet as he dozed off.

It didn't last. Some hours later, the silence was shattered by screaming and banging and nearly gave him a heart attack. He was off of the couch in seconds.

Olivia was roused out of her own light dose by Elliot moaning violently. She got to her feet and reached for the wastebasket quickly, thinking he was sick again.

She was surprised when she saw the bed was empty. But the sudden smashing noise from behind her made her jump and whip around fast.

Elliot was in her bathroom, standing at the sink and slamming his fists into the mirror. He was yelling furiously with each blow. The glass was already cracking and she could see blood running down his arms.

"Shit!" she cried, hurrying over to him. "Elliot, stop...stop!"

She tried to capture his hands so that he wouldn't keep doing damage to them but he kept twisting out of her attempts to still them.

Fin appeared in the room and hurried over when he saw Olivia struggling to hold onto Elliot as he fought and flailed around. She managed to grip his bloody fists.

He was running out of steam fast. He didn't even see Fin, but it didn't matter because he abruptly stopped fighting when he realized she wasn't going to let go of him.

"Let me go!" he screamed hysterically. "It's not fair! It's not fair!"

He slumped suddenly, howling like his soul was being crushed. Olivia folded him into a tight embrace, hooking her chin over his shoulder. Elliot cried brokenly against her, making her shake with his gasps.

"It's not fair," he sobbed. "He said he would let them go! I did what he wanted and then he killed them anyway!" He gripped her painfully, his knees threatening to drop him. "I want them back. I want my babies back."

Olivia pressed her hands into his back. From behind Elliot, Fin could see her crying.

"I know," she choked out, stroking his neck. "I know, Elliot. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Her eyes floated up over his shoulder to Fin, who was looking at her somberly. She nodded her head slightly at him as she spoke to Elliot.

"We're going to get the first aid kit and look at your hands, alright?" she asked him softly.

He nodded without lifting his head. She gestured toward the bathroom cabinet and Fin moved toward it. Elliot gasped violently when he suddenly realized someone else was there. She saw the fear on his face as his head came up fast.

"It's ok," she said quickly. "It's just Fin. He's here to help you, too."

The look of embarrassment that came over Elliot's face at having the other man see him in that moment hurt Olivia's heart. He moved away from her and turned his back on them.

"Can you go check on Noah?" she asked Fin softly, taking the box from him. "I'll take care of this."

Once they were alone, she gently took Elliot's arm and guided him to sit on top of the toilet. She held out her hands.

"Let me see," she said quietly.

He slowly raised his aching hands and placed his palms in hers, looking contrite and miserable.

She let go of one and smoothed her hand over his cheek before focusing on the damage.

Fin was standing in the kitchen waiting for her when Olivia came back out about a half-hour later.

"How's he doing?" he asked quietly.

She looked exhausted and unhinged.

"I got him back to bed. He's already asleep again," she replied. "Thankfully the cuts weren't very deep."

She leaned against the counter and buried her face in her hands.

"Olivia," Fin said gently. "I don't think we can wait until tomorrow. I think he should go to the hospital right now."

Olivia nodded, not moving from her position.

"You're right," she said into her hands.

Her shoulders began to shake. Fin moved over and wrapped an arm around her when she broke down into tears.