"Law and Order: SVU" belongs to Dick Wolf and Universal Television. No profit is being made from this story.
The quiet was suddenly punctuated by the sound of footfalls coming from her bedroom and they both knew that Elliot actually wasn't sleeping. Olivia wiped her face and blew out a breath.
"Do you want me to try and talk to him?" Fin asked quietly.
She shook her head.
"Let me give it a go, first," she replied tiredly. She took a minute to look at Fin fully in the face. "If I don't remember to say it later...thank you. Thank for being here, Fin."
She squeezed his arm gently.
"You're a good friend," she said. "I mean that."
He looked uncomfortable at her candidness. He just nodded.
Olivia walked quietly back to her bedroom and slowly opened the door.
Elliot had tried to relax but his emotions were going haywire. His legs were too restless to lay still and he had to move.
He paced back and forth beside the bed, wound up like a live wire and unable to stop shaking. His bandaged knuckles trembled as he clenched them by his sides.
He heard the door open and immediately whipped his head toward it without stopping the tread he was wearing across the carpet.
Olivia peeked in. Her face looked worn and anxious and he knew it was because of him, which made him feel even worse.
"Can I come in?" she asked quietly.
He scoffed, bordering on hysteria.
"It's your room," he said.
He turned his back on her and continued pacing. She stepped further inside.
She watched him for a few seconds before walking closer. He looked at her desperately, like he wanted to stop but couldn't.
"Hey," she said, reaching out to him. She took him lightly by the shoulder and felt him twitching as she gently turned him to face her. He was breathing frantically. "Talk to me. What's happening right now?"
He swallowed and shook his head.
"I can't-I can't keep still," he said miserably. "Usually-"
He started swaying on his feet. "I usually run until I can't anymore. I ran the Queensboro bridge three times once."
She eyed him helplessly, rubbing his shoulder.
"Elliot," she said. "Why don't I take you to the E.R.? You need to get some relief from this and a doctor can help you do that. You can start detoxing safely."
He shook his head fast, looking at her like a deer in the headlights. He jerked away from her.
"No," he said in a rush. "I can't. I told you, I can't."
His anxiety was obvious. He began pacing again, not looking at her.
He wasn't expecting to hear the amount of emotion that he did in her voice when she spoke again.
"Please, Elliot," she said. She had to pause a minute before she could go on. "You overdosed. You just cut the hell out of yourself. I can't bear to see you suffering like this. It's killing me."
He stopped and looked slowly back at her. He shook his head tearfully and gave a quiet, painful admission.
"It's killing me, too," he whispered.
She looked into his face, watching tears slipping out, and went over to him. He was trembling all over and he couldn't stop.
Olivia cupped his cheek gently.
"Then let's get you some help," she said. "Let's get you better, Elliot. You deserve that."
A tortured look was on his face and she could see his internal struggle as he considered her words.
He didn't want to be hooked on drugs. He couldn't even remember what it felt like to feel normal. He would do anything to escape the hell of addiction.
But he was scared. More than he knew how to tell anyone.
"I want to, Olivia," he finally admitted. "But I don't see how. What's going to stop anyone from finding out where I am?"
Olivia squeezed his shoulder.
"You're forgetting something," she said. "I'm captain now, Elliot. That means you get VIP status, partner."
She quirked an eyebrow. "Let me make a few quick phone calls and then we'll go. You just get ready. I'll take care of it."
Amanda was up, having to give Billie medicine for a fever that had developed the day before, so getting the phone call at 3 am didn't wake her. But seeing her boss' number on the screen as she answered definitely put her on alert.
"Hi, Olivia," she answered quietly, mindful of both of her daughters sleeping down the hall.
She was expecting to hear that she was needed at a crime scene, since that was usually the only reason she would be getting a call at that hour.
So when instead Olivia asked her for a phone number, she was slightly taken aback.
"Um...yeah, sure," she replied. "Give me just a second to find it." She scrolled through her contact numbers until she got to the one she needed. "Ok, got it. Are you ready?"
"Yes," Olivia said. She paused as Amanda dictated it. "Thank you, Amanda."
"Is everything alright?" Amanda asked hesitantly.
Standing in her kitchen, waiting for Elliot to come out of her room, Olivia took a deep breath.
"Yeah," she answered simply.
She disconnected the call and then dialed the number Amanda had given her.
Lieutenant Declan Murphy was working in Florence, Italy. He was sitting at the desk in his hotel room on Saturday evening when his burner phone rang from his sock drawer.
He looked over, startled. No one knew that number.
Except for Amanda. He had given it to her when he had discovered she was pregnant with their child. She would never call him.
Unless she was in trouble.
He reached for it quickly.
"Hello?"
"It's Olivia Benson," the voice on the other end said quietly. "Can you talk?"
Murphy raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Sure," he replied.
"I'm sorry to call you like this," she went on. "But I need your help."
"What's going on?" he asked immediately.
She explained the situation. He was taken aback.
"Can you do it?" she finished.
He didn't even hesitate.
"Absolutely," he said immediately.
He was already sitting in front of his computer, so it was easy to get to what he needed.
"Ok," he told her. "Give the hospital this." He gave her the information and waited as she wrote it down "I'll get in touch again once I talk to my boss and see what I can find out for you."
"Thank you, Murphy," she replied gratefully. "I'll keep you posted."
Once she hung up, Murphy began shooting off an email.
Fin assured her that he would stay with Noah and call when her son woke up so she could talk to him. Olivia hated to leave him in the middle of the night like this, but she knew he would be in good hands.
Elliot stood next to the front door, not looking at either of them. Olivia had explained to him what she had done and assured him that it was secure and foolproof, but it didn't stop the fear in his stomach. It was taking every ounce of willpower he had to go along with her.
She thanked Fin quietly and got her coat, asking him if he was ready to go. His throat was dry and nervousness came off of him in waves as he nodded silently.
"Hey," Fin said suddenly as she opened the apartment door. "Elliot."
Startled, Elliot turned toward him uncomfortably. He barely could look at him.
Fin walked over and picked up the coat he had laid on one of the kitchen chairs.
He held it out.
"Take my coat," he said quietly. "It will be warmer than that sweatshirt."
Olivia looked at her friend in surprised appreciation for the kind offer and gave him a tender smile. He wasn't looking at her. He stood still, hand outstretched, and tried to convey the feelings that he didn't have the courage to say to Elliot.
Swallowing, Elliot reached out and took the garment. He met Fin's eyes for a brief moment and then looked away.
"Thank you," he said.
He slipped it on, gratefully noticing the difference in warmth before they even stepped out of the apartment.
The intake nurse at Bellevue Hospital looked at the pair when they approached. He immediately noticed the man's bandaged fingers.
"How can I help you?" he asked.
Neither one immediately answered.
He saw the woman look a bit surprised and glance at her companion, as if expecting him to speak. Then he also noticed the man appeared to be shaking and his gaze was darting around.
The nurse looked at her. She rubbed the man's back for a brief second as he stood next to her and then spoke in a voice that was quietly authoritative.
"He's going through drug withdrawal," she said. "We were hoping he might be able to get some help."
The nurse immediately thought to himself that he would be a rich man if he'd had a dime for every time a junkie came there thinking they could give out a magic pill to get a fix.
Outwardly, he just handed the woman a clipboard to fill out and told them would get them shortly.
They went and sat down. Olivia glanced at Elliot's hands.
"You ok if I fill it out?" she asked.
He slumped wearily in the chair and just nodded.
Olivia took out the paper with the name and social security number of the undercover alias "Declan O'Rourke" that Murphy had used a few years prior and began writing them into the intake form.
November 2014
"Move," Raul Hernandez ordered as each child stepped out of the van. Emanuel pushed them quickly along to the back door of the house. "Inside, let's go."
Jorge popped the car trunk and stepped out of the driver's seat. He grabbed up the bundled tarp from inside and slung it over his shoulder.
Elliot's bare foot dangled out as he was carried inside the house.
Once he was aware again, Elliot looked around and immediately noticed something horrifyingly different about the cold room they were in. It appeared to be an attached garage.
The door windows were covered with black sheets, letting in only the barest sliver of light underneath. It was enough for them to see, but not by much.
In one corner, a video camera was sitting on a tripod next to an empty mattress on the ground.
January 2020
Olivia watched with no small amount of relief as Elliot dozed peacefully in the E.R bed.
A doctor had given him an intravenous dose of Zofran for his nausea, fluids, and Valium for the anxiety that had been obviously tormenting him. The combination had an immediate relaxing affect and he hadn't fought it.
She sat next to the bed watching the TV on low until he suddenly spoke, surprising her. He had been in and out of sleep for the last hour.
"How long do I have to stay here?"
She looked over to see him sitting up tiredly and gazing intently at her.
"I don't really know," she said. "We can find out when the doctor comes back in, I'm sure."
Elliot shifted uncomfortably, trying not to tug the IV line in his arm.
"They're going to ask questions," he said. "I know they will."
Olivia grimaced sympathetically. He seemed genuinely worried about it.
"It's up to you what to tell them, Elliot," she said. "You don't have to give details, but I would be honest if they want to know about what you're feeling physically, at least. They can't help you if they don't know."
He didn't look reassured.
The doctor came back in to check on them a few minutes later, knocking lightly. He held a chart in his hand.
"How are you feeling right now, Mr. O'Rourke?" the doctor asked him. "Is the medication working?"
Elliot hesitated.
"I guess," he answered. At Olivia's pointed look, he reluctantly elaborated. "I don't feel as shaky as I did before."
The doctor nodded.
"That's a good sign," he said. "How about the nausea?"
"Better," Elliot replied.
He glanced down at the chart and then at Olivia.
"Declan," he began. "I'd like to ask you some questions about your drug use. Are you comfortable with that or would you prefer for me to ask privately?"
She immediately picked up on what the doctor was trying to say.
"I can leave," she offered, getting ready to stand up.
Elliot shook his head.
"No," he said. "Don't." She sat back down slowly as he tipped his head up and acknowledged the doctor. "What do you want to know?'"
"How long have you been using methamphetamine?" the doctor asked.
He shrugged. "I don't know."
"When is the last time you used?"
"Three days ago," he answered.
The doctor made a notation. "How much did you use?"
Elliot hesitated. The doctor looked at him when he didn't answer after a minute.
"Enough to overdose," he finally replied.
The doctor wrote on the chart again.
"Do you have a history of drug use?" he asked. Elliot indicated that he did. "What else have you used?"
"I don't know, " he said again. The doctor looked a little confused at the answer so he tried to clarify. "Powder. Pills. I don't know what kind they were."
"Where did you get them?"
Olivia saw Elliot's throat bob as he swallowed hard. She winced sympathetically, seeing his struggle, but stayed silent.
"Someone gave them to me, " he replied.
The doctor took a minute to scribble something down.
"Ok," he said. " Now, I'd like you to be honest with me, Mr. O'Rourke." Olivia watched the doctor look at her partner openly. "Do you want to get treatment to stop your addiction?"
Elliot's face took on that desperate, ashamed look that made Olivia's heart ache every time she saw it. He nodded slightly.
"Then I'm going to recommend a two-week intensive inpatient program as a place to start," he said. "It's right here in our adjacent detox unit. You'll receive intensive medication treatment for withdrawal along with an individualized therapy regimen in our residential wing."
He winced.
"Stay there?" he asked. The doctor nodded. "Do I have to?"
"It's an option," the doctor said. "We do also offer outpatient treatment, but the risk for relapse is much, much higher outside of a controlled environment."
Elliot looked over at Olivia pleadingly. She spoke up at once.
"What happens during outpatient treatment? " she asked.
The doctor looked at her but made sure to address both of them.
"You'll receive the same medication and therapy that is offered through inpatient treatment," he replied. "You will stay at your residence rather than in a faculity and come there at a scheduled time every day to receive it. The program is generally longer and you'll need a tremendous amount of support from friends and family to ensure a successful transition."
"Support won't be a problem," Olivia said. "He'll definitely have as much as he needs." n
She paused uncertainly, looking at Elliot.
"But you need to do what you're most comfortable with, El-"
She caught herself reflexively and quickly corrected.
"-Declan, " she finished meaningfully. "What do you think?"
Elliot seemed torn.
"What if I don't go to treatment at all?" he asked. "Will the withdrawal end at some point?"
"Physically, yes," the doctor said. "Without any medication, you'll go through the same symptoms you came in with tonight for about two more weeks," the doctor answered. "They might be worse. There's no way to know."
He looked at Elliot seriously.
"Frankly, the mental effects are the main reason I strongly advocate a treatment program. There are numerous dangers to consider-risks of paranoia, potential for suicidal ideations, and intense cravings for substances, to name a few- that will be exponentially more likely to affect you in a negative way."
The doctor could see that he was becoming overwhelmed, so he paused.
"I'm going to give you one more bag of fluids before I discharge you," he said. "Think it over. The choice is entirely up to you."
A nurse came in to hook up another bag of IV fluids and then they were alone again.
"What do you think?" she asked quietly.
He looked at Olivia desperately.
"I want this to stop," he said. "I don't want to be on drugs, Liv. I don't."
Emotion choked him. "I can't-" He shook his head. "I don't want to stay there."
She could see him becoming tearful. She instinctively stood and walked closer.
Elliot tipped his head down.
"I won't do it," he insisted huskily. "I'll leave."
Olivia's voice was gentle but firm above him, but he wouldn't look at her.
"And then what, Elliot?" she asked emphatically. "You'll go back on the street, keep trying to survive with nothing except the shirt on your back? Is that what you'd rather do?"
Tears dripped off of his nose. She hated to upset him, it was breaking her heart, but she had to make him understand how much she longed to have him healthy and safe.
He shook his head again, his face twisted sadly. He couldn't speak from the tears choking him.
Without hesitation, she wrapped him into an embrace. He slumped in defeat.
"I told you," she said calmly. "I'm not just going to leave you, Elliot. I want you to get better and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you do. If you don't want to stay, I'm not going to force you to."
He exhaled shakily and looked up at her.
"But I can't keep staying with you, either, Liv," he said somberly. "I'm putting you and Noah at risk every minute I'm around you."
Olivia wished she could make him feel safer. She wished she could make him understand how she would die before letting anybody come after him, let alone after her and her son.
Hopefully, once his mind was clearer, he would.
"Then why not just try the inpatient program?" she suggested gently. "Being there right now, under this name, would make it the safest place you could be while you get off of the drugs."
And, she thought privately to herself while I find the son of a bitch who did this to you and kick his ass.
"It's only two weeks," she went on. "You'll be back before you know it."
As much as he hated to admit it, Elliot knew she was right.
Still, he looked like it was killing him to reluctantly nod in agreement.
When Kat arrived at work at 8 am on Monday morning, she noticed that neither the captain nor her lieutenant were there yet.
"Morning," she said to Amanda as she sat down at her desk. She switched on her computer. "How was your weekend?"
Amanda looked over from her desk.
"Not fun," she said sardonically. "Billie had a fever and barely slept."
Kat winced sympathetically. "Yuck."
Immediately upon lighting up, she saw an email from TARU waiting for her. She opened it.
After she read it, she looked over at Rollins.
"TARU says they have something to show us about that encrypted ad," she said.
Amanda raised her eyebrows. She realized the other detective wasn't sure if she should go since Fin wasn't there to tell her.
"I'll go with you," she said.
"Alright, Mr. O'Rourke," the doctor said, handing Elliot a clipboard. "I'm going to have you start on this questionnaire outlining your history. You can finish it at the Detox Unit. "
Elliot looked startled.
"I'm going there right now? " he asked.
The doctor nodded.
"Yes," he said. "I strongly advise that you start right away to start the recovery process as soon as possible."
Olivia saw the look of dread on his face, but he didn't say anything. The doctor turned to her as Elliot began filling it out and handed her one as well.
"This is an emergency contact form," he said. "He'll also need to have someone pick him up from the detox center once he is through with the program."
The paper asked for the name and number of someone to call in case of emergency, as well as the relationship to the patient.
She thought a minute and then wrote "Olivia O'Rourke" and "sister" in the spaces.
"That's good enough," the doctor said. He regarded Elliot. "Are you ready, Mr. O'Rourke?"
Elliot swallowed and nodded.
"I'll leave you to say your goodbyes," he said. "I'll meet you at the intake desk and then we'll head up there."
The doctor left. Elliot stood up from the bed he sat on and she stood, too.
He was doing a lousy job of concealing how nervous he was. Olivia approached and took him by the shoulders, seeing the fear in his eyes.
"We'll get through this, El," she said, slipping into his old nickname without thinking. "I swear to you. I'll be here as soon as you're through. I promise."
She pulled him into a hug. He mechanically circled her back for a moment and then stepped back. He had an expression like he was being taken to his own execution and her heart hurt.
"See you in two weeks, I guess, " he said woodenly.
She nodded, biting her lip. Then she had a thought as he was opening the door.
"Do you want me to call Kathy and tell her where you are?"
Elliot paused, looking back at her. His face fell with sorrow and he shook his head.
"I doubt she'll want to know, " he said sadly. "She doesn't want anything to do with me. She blames me for what happened to our girls."
She saw tears in his eyes. "She's right."
He walked out of the room, leaving Olivia to catch the breath that had suddenly left her.
"Morning," greeted CCU Detective Ian Nelson as the two women walked into his office.
"Hey, Nelson," Kat replied. "What have you got for us?"
He beckoned Tamin and Rollins over to his desk and clicked a desktop icon. The advertisement of Melissa Miller popped up, but the encryption had become a link.
"I cracked the encryption," he told them.
He clicked the link and they watched a website pop up.
"'Task Masters'?," Rollins read. "What's that?"
Detective Nelson hovered over a menu page at the top.
"It's a password subscription service," he explained. "Anyone can obtain a password for $23.95 a month and then use it to access the websites listed here."
He clicked on one called "Fun 4 Everyone."
"I called and purchased a password," he said. "All of these sites seem to offer porn videos-mostly legit stuff, by the looks of it."
He looked grim.
"Except for this one."
He brought up the website and the detectives watched the screen fill up with video thumbnails. He clicked the first one.
The screen enlarged and the video began playing.
Rollins felt her stomach clench.
A young girl lay naked on a mattress in the camera focus. After a moment, a man appeared and began to strip.
"How old is that girl?" Kat breathed in disbelief. "She looks like she hasn't even started puberty."
The man climbed naked on top of her and swallowed her form. All they could see was her feet being jerked as he proceeded to violate her.
Then they heard the noises coming from her and Amanda couldn't stand it.
"Turn it off," she murmured.
Nelson did.
"They're all like this," he said quietly. "I haven't gotten through them all yet, but it's a different kid in each one so far."
Kat looked horrified.
"There's got to be two hundred videos here," she said, looking at Amanda.
"Who put them there?" Amanda asked Nelson.
He picked up a notepad laying by the keyboard.
"It looks like the majority have come from these two email addresses," he said, showing them. "I'll let you know if I find more."
"Send me videos you haven't gotten to yet," Amanda told him. " We'll help you go through them."
She looked at Kat.
"Tell Fin when he comes in that we've got a long day ahead of us," she said grimly. " Hope you weren't planning anything tonight. This might take awhile."