"Law and Order: SVU" belongs to Dick Wolf and Universal Television. No profit is being made from this story.
A/N: If anyone happens to recognize any familiar dialogue inserted subtly into parts of this chapter, it comes from various episodes of "Organized Crime." I couldn't resist.
Instead of agreeing, Murphy sounded like he was about lay a hard truth down when he replied.
"Where are you right now?" Murphy asked her.
"I'm with Elliot and his family," she replied. "But I can leave right away."
"Get him on the line, Olivia," he went on matter-of-factly. "He needs to know something."
Elliot looked at her guardedly, seeing her expression. She pressed the speaker button, absently running her hand over his shoulder like she was trying to reassure him.
It immediately put him on edge and his heart began to pound nervously.
"He's here, Murphy," she said.
"Elliot," Murphy said. "We need to be sure before we jump on this. How do you know this is the man we're looking for?"
Olivia bit her lip to keep from speaking when she saw the look that crossed Elliot's face. He looked helpless, like he was doubting himself.
"I...guess I don't," he replied uncertainly. "Not really. I just remember them taking my wallet out of my pocket and my credit card was in it. I don't know if they ever used it."
Murphy didn't say anything for a minute.
"What is your gut telling you, Detective?" he finally asked.
Elliot inhaled deeply. He looked at her in anguish and uncertainty, seeming to be thinking hard.
"I think it's him," he replied at last.
"Ok," Murphy replied simply. He didn't question if Elliot was sure and Olivia was grateful. "I'm going to get in touch with La Guardia and see if I can get information about the purchase and talk to my boss. We'll get a team ready and meet you both at La Guardia in two hours."
Elliot looked at her in alarm. She immediately spoke up.
"Elliot doesn't need to be there, Murphy," she said. "I'll back you up."
"It's not about back up, Olivia," Murphy replied. "We don't know who we're looking for. Elliot has to identify this guy before we'll be able to arrest him."
Elliot realized with dread that he hadn't gotten through all of the photos that Murphy had given him to look at the previous day after his upset from seeing the picture of the red-haired man. They didn't know if the U.S. Marshal had been in that lineup and neither did he.
Olivia saw his face pale. She swallowed hard. They both knew Murphy was right. Still, she tried as hard as she could to shield him.
"What if we did a video call with him from the airport?" she asked. "He could make an ID that way."
Murphy sounded apologetic, as if knowing what she was trying to do and wishing he could.
"That won't hold up, Olivia," he said. "You know that. It would open the door for an attorney to claim doctoring or editing the video and we'd have to let the guy go."
She blew out a breath. The lieutenant continued on, speaking to him.
"Listen to me, Elliot," he said. " If this is who we're looking for, there will be an airport full of federal agents set up before the plane even lands and Olivia and I will be with you the entire time. He won't see you, you have my word on that. I don't intend to put you or anyone else in any danger."
Elliot started looking nauseated again.
"What if I can't identify him?" he asked weakly. "I think I remember what he looks like...but what if I don't? I couldn't tell you his name if I had to."
Olivia had a flash of inspiration.
"There is someone who might be able to help," she said, speaking to them both. "Murphy, give me a minute to make a call."
"Ok, " Murphy said. "Keep me posted. After this is all done, we'll meet like we planned, Elliot. Alright?"
It didn't sound alright. The whole thing sounded like the absolute last thing he wanted to do.
Elliot let out a shaky breath.
"Yeah, alright, Murphy," he muttered.
Olivia ended the call and looked at him. Even in his current state, she knew that he knew what she was about to do.
"Do you want to talk to him?" she asked quietly.
Emotion rose up so abruptly that it almost took his breath away. He had to close his eyes against the memories and terrible images that began suddenly flashing in front of him:
Tied up on the floor, he stumbled on bound feet when Jorge Hernandez lifted him bodily upright and held him still with an arm squeezed tight around his neck from behind. He choked for a horrifying moment when the man deliberately cut off his breath.
In front of him, the U.S. Marshal reached out and peeled the tape partway off of his mouth, leaving it hanging. He heard a gun being cocked behind him and his heart began thudding when he felt it being pressed hard against the back of his skull.
The man snapped his fingers at Raul Hernandez. Raul stepped over and grabbed a little girl up from where she sat on a bed. Her eyes widened as he put a gun against her temple.
Elliot felt like his heart would explode as he stood helplessly while the marshal took out the cell phone that had been taken from him and scrolled through the contacts list. He pressed the speaker button.
The other children remained silent as the other Hernandez brothers stood before them with guns aimed, knowing not to make a sound. The only thing that could be heard in the tense silence was Elliot trying not to hyperventilate as the call connected through.
"Elliot." Captain Cragen sounded pleased that he was calling. "How are things going out there?"
He glanced at the man in front of him and struggled to keep his voice from shaking.
"Everything is great, Captain," he said miserably. "Couldn't be better."
His voice cracked slightly despite is best efforts and he glanced in terror at the marshal, seeing his face harden. His expression was a clear warning.
He prayed that his captain could sense something was wrong, that he was there tracing his location. That someone was coming to their rescue. He prayed hard, harder than he ever had.
"That's good news," the captain said. "Any idea how much longer you might be helping them out there?" His voice was gently teasing. "Wouldn't want to lose one of my best guys to those federal sell-outs."
He swallowed as tears began building.
"No," he managed to say. " Don't really know yet."
"Olivia just came in," Cragen said. "She...hasn't been handling things well since I told her you left. Do you want me to tell her anything?"
The tears slipped out then, sliding hotly down his face, and he couldn't keep them from coming.
"I have to go, Captain," he managed to get out .
The marshal disconnected. Sobs abruptly overwhelmed him and he couldn't stop them. Hearing how he close he had been to Olivia suddenly made despair and agonizing feelings of homesickness come over him so fiercely that he almost collapsed.
Olivia watched a horrible, faraway look twist Elliot's face from out of nowhere in response to her question and it made her breath catch.
Where did he just go?
She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to that.
"Hey."
He seemed to snap back to himself fast, feeling her squeezing his shoulder, and saw her looking at him worriedly.
"I can't talk to him, Liv," he said quietly. He gazed at her apologetically.
"Don't worry about it," she said, nodding. "I'll do it. It's fine."
He shook his head like he was angry with himself. But he didn't object.
"I'll let you have some privacy," he said, getting up.
His voice had barely any life in it just then and it made her want to cry.
She nodded.
"Hey," she said, making him stop. He turned to look at her and she summoned up a smile as best she could. "I got extra egg drop."
A small, surprised smile came over his face. It looked like it took effort, but she was glad to see it.
Egg drop soup was his favorite. It always had been. She wondered if he was surprised because he had forgotten or because she had remembered.
"Thanks," he said softly.
He left the room, closing the door. She took a deep breath and then dialed.
Don Cragen was eating lunch at the kitchen table when Eileen came in, holding his phone. He could hear the video ringtone coming from it. He took it from her and was surprised to see Olivia's name on the screen.
He swallowed the bite he had taken, suddenly remembering that he had forgotten to return her call the week before. He connected to the call and a moment later, his former detective's face filled the screen.
"Hello, Captain," he said warmly, emphasizing her title with a proud smile. "Good to see you."
She didn't return his smile, which was unusual. In fact, her face looked decidedly...harder than normal.
"Do you have a minute?" she asked, not even dancing around with pleasantries. "I think we need to talk."
He nodded in slight confusion.
"Of course," he answered nonetheless. "Should I take this into the office?"
He was kidding. She, however, was not when she replied.
"Yes," she said firmly. "I think that would be smart."
As he walked down the hallway toward the stairs to his upstairs space that he and Eileen called "the office," he wryly thought that if she used that tone of voice on her subordinates, she was probably very effective at compelling them to comply.
He shut the office door, settled in behind his desk, and set the phone upright in the wireless charging dock so that she could more of his whole profile.
"Alright," he said. "Let's talk."
She launched right in with the whole situation, starting with the day that she discovered Elliot's DNA during a rape investigation and weaving all the way through to the emails given to her by Lieutenant Murphy.
It took fifteen minutes and by the end, Cragen was shocked speechless.
When she finished, she watched her former captain's face as he processed what she had said. He looked horrified and shocked.
"Jesus," he finally swore.
She could count on exactly one finger the number of times that she had ever heard the man swear in twenty years and that instance was it.
Cragen swallowed hard. He looked like he had questions but couldn't form them.
"Tell me how can I help," he finally said.
"Do you remember who recruited him for the undercover job?" she said. "He said that the marshal he kept seeing is the same one who came to his house with you to offer him the job."
He looked troubled as he thought.
"Brent Woodhouse," he replied after a minute. "I'm pretty sure that's who-" He cut himself off suddenly. "Damn."
"What?" she asked.
Cragen looked ill as he replied.
"He got a commendation for that organizing that assignment," he recalled uneasily. " I contributed to the letter of recommendation."
They both fell silent.
Olivia shook her head.
"How did this happen, Captain?" she asked. She sounded weary and he could see the guilt on her face clearly. "How could we have let this happen to him?"
Her words ended in a choked whisper and he wasn't sure if she was talking to him or to herself.
"It didn't 'happen' to him, Olivia," he said softly. "It was done to him."
He looked remorseful.
"Unfortunately, the year he left ended up making it easy to be distracted with other things. I was keeping in touch monthly with Woodhouse once he told me Elliot had joined their team..." He swallowed. "And then the situation with Carissa Gibson came about."
He didn't have to elaborate. She remembered the setup that had sent the captain briefly to jail and how hard she had fought to clear his name for the murder of Carissa Gibson. The only thing on his mind then would have been that he might be going to prison for murder. She didn't blame him. It was easy to see how Elliot would have become an afterthought, especially since he had been told the detective was busy with the other team.
She closed her eyes in anguish.
And then William Lewis had come along and changed her life and nothing was the same again. She had grown angry and bitter at Elliot afterward for not being there. She had spent so long wondering if the situation would have occurred if he had been there. Deep down, she had been angry that he wasn't.
"You can't blame yourself, Olivia," Don said, seeming to know where her mind had gone. "It won't help. We can't change what happened to any of us. We just have to try and deal with it now. That's what he needs."
"You're right," she said. She nodded, blinking rapidly. "You're right, Captain."
"Elliot can't remember what Woodhouse looks like?" he asked softly.
She shook her head, blowing out a breath.
"They gave him so many drugs, for so long...what if it's permanent? What if he isn't able to become 'himself' again?"
In the privacy, talking to a man she'd trusted so deeply for so long, Olivia let her internal worries out, unable to stop.
"I'm so worried for him, Captain," she admitted. "I don't know what to do."
He gave her a warm smile then, despite the heaviness.
"I remember you saying that the first time Noah got sick, Olivia," he said. "And the whole time, you knew what to do without realizing it. You cared for him. You did whatever you could to make him feel comfortable, even though you couldn't immediately take the pain away."
He regarded her kindly.
"You know what to do," he asserted. "You did it for 13 years while you were partners. Have his back."
She collected herself and he was pleased to see the determination come back into her eyes.
"I'm sorry to ask this," she said. " But I have to, Captain. Did you have any involvement in this? Even if it wasn't intentional? "
He wasn't offended by her statement.
"None," he assured her. "I promise you that."
"Why did you lie to me?" she asked. "Why did you tell me he retired when he was actually undercover?"
"I told Chief Wright about Elliot putting in retirement papers after the Fox shooting," he replied. "He recommended I let Elliot use up all of his paid time off first since he was close to getting more pension. The leave time was almost up when he told me about the undercover assignment. He wanted me to offer it to Elliot first before going ahead with the retirement paperwork, in case he had changed his mind."
The anger was clear in his voice when he finished. He could see it echoed on her face.
"I'll need to see those emails you mentioned, Olivia," he went on. "Because it sounds a lot like the chief lied to me about the whole undercover assignment. It would certainly explain what you said about Elliot still being shown as 'active' in the employee system. The chief delegates that stuff to HR and I was the one who set it up with them for Elliot to keep being paid."
"I'll send them to you once I get back home," she replied. " But right now, having a name helps tremendously. I really hope we can nail this guy."
Cragen paused.
"How is Elliot doing, Olivia?" he asked quietly. "Tell me the truth."
The look on her face was an answer in itself and it hurt his insides.
"He's struggling," she answered heavily. "He has nightmares. He shouts in his sleep, he's jumpy..." She swallowed hard. "And he's absolutely terrified of Brent Woodhouse." Her face hardened. "God help me, Captain...I want to rip this bastard's face off."
"I can sympathize," he said. "Just remember where the fight is, Olivia. Don't do anything rash that might hinder the case from proceeding."
She nodded.
"Thank you, Captain," she said.
"Keep me updated on what's happening," he went on. "Please." He waited a beat and then added, "And tell Elliot I'm here if he needs anything."
She ended the call and checked her watch. Then she called Lieutenant Murphy back.
"It's Benson," she said straight away when he answered. "I got a name."
Elliot headed toward the kitchen, but then stopped before coming in.
He could hear them all chatting away, Noah and his sons and Kathy, as well as gleeful squeals from Eliza punctuating the conversation. The sound of plates scraping and the smell of the Chinese food suddenly made his stomach clench.
He had been hungry before the call from the bank had thrown his nerves into chaos. Now, thinking about what he would possibly be facing in a few hours, he thought he might puke.
A dreadful, cold sweat spiked up and he quickly detoured out the front door fast, hoping he wouldn't vomit all over the front porch like a fool. He staggered near the steps and grabbed the porch railing with shaking hands, taking in deep breaths of fresh air.
The outside cool on his face and being in the quiet helped. He was relieved when the sick feeling dissipated without incident and exhaled a huge breath. He stayed where he was, a strange sense of calm coming over him as he saw the beautiful flower garden surrounding the porch.
He remembered how hard Kathy had always worked at cultivating it each spring, lovingly tending it before the winter months and ensuring lovely blooms in a season where most people's yards were dead. It had been one of her favorite hobbies during their marriage and he had always made a point to buy her garden tools and pretty plants just to see the delight on her face.
As he gazed at it, an unfamiliar gleam caught his eye. His brow furrowed as he went to look closer.
Kathy was wiping Eliza's face when she noticed movement out the side window. She was surprised to see Elliot walking down the porch stairs. She hadn't even heard him go out the door.
Then she saw what he was doing and her heart sank. She swallowed hard.
"Keep an eye on her," she told Dick, getting up. "I'll be right back."
She opened the glass storm door and slowly made her way across the porch, stepping off the stairs. She bit her lip as she stepped closer to where Elliot stood beside the garden.
Tears choked her as she watched him staring at the engraved rose-colored marble stone she had placed in the middle of the flowerbed less than a year earlier:
Maureen Janet Stabler Conners
1984-2019
Kathleen Sara Stabler
1987-2019
Elizabeth Patricia Stabler
1989-2019
God's Angels in Beautiful Souls
Cherished and Loved Forever
He crouched down and reached out to stroke the marble. His hand was shaking. She could see tears in his eyes.
Realizing she was there, he looked over at her and swallowed. Then he broke.
He began to sob, so hard that he gagged and nearly fell over.
"I didn't know-"
He could hardly gasp the words out.
"God, oh, God, I didn't know this would happen!" he said in anguish. "I couldn't get them out. I couldn't save them...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
He cried out like he was dying and her own tears spilled out then.
"I shouldn't have gone," he moaned. "They would still be here if I hadn't gone. I shouldn't have gone undercover."
She gasped in a tearful breath and stepped over in front of him, kneeling down before him. She reached for his hands and gripped them hard.
"Elliot," she said softly. "This was not your fault." She shook her head. "This was not your fault."
She gently cupped his cheek. His head was down and she couldn't get him to meet her gaze.
"Elliot, look at me," she insisted tenderly. "Look at my eyes." He swallowed, but nonetheless raised his eyes to hers, his expression devastated and worn. "This was not your fault."
She stroked his wet face, her own twisting without being able to help it, and he gripped her in a hug for a long, grieving moment.
When he broke away, he saw Olivia standing on the porch, obviously not wanting to intrude on the private moment but looking like she didn't have a choice.
"Sorry," she said quietly. "Murphy talked to the airline. The flight is coming in earlier than anticipated." She looked at him with quiet determination. "I got his name, Elliot, and we're getting a picture sent to the airport."
Elliot didn't reply, not trusting himself to speak. Kathy didn't know what was going on, but could sense by their body languages that it was serious. His face had gone white.
"Do you need me to watch Noah?" she offered softly.
Olivia looked at her.
"Yes," she replied. "Thank you, Kathy. I appreciate it."
Kathy nodded.
Olivia took a breath.
"Ready to do this? " she asked heavily.
Elliot sighed heavily and nodded.
"As I'll ever be, I guess," he replied in a gravelly voice.
Olivia went back inside to say goodbye to Noah. Elliot surprised Kathy when he abruptly turned and hugged her fiercely.
"I love you, Kath," he whispered to her. "Please don't forget that."
She smiled and kissed him sweetly. But she couldn't stop the sudden pit of nervousness that snaked into her belly as she watched them getting into Olivia's car.
His goodbye had sounded like he wasn't sure if he would be coming back again.