I just want to say that this is a Romitri fanfic but it'll take some time to get there. I can't have them falling back in love after like 5 chapters. Get real. This is Rose and Dimitri, two very stubborn people. So please be patient I promise it's worth the wait! Thank Ya

LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST

I ran my hand through my hair once more, after my err... activities with Adrian it had gotten pretty destroyed. I left the teacher housing and stumbled onto the sidewalk, pulling out my room assignment paper and heading toward the Guardian building.

By now all the students were in their classrooms so I was thankfully alone during my short walk. I didn't have the patience to deal with teenagers right now, or anyone else for that matter. Right when I was about to round the Guardian building a figure stepped out from the shadows.

"Miss Hathaway, where have you been?" Alberta asked blocking my path to the front door.

"Catching up with some friends," I said with a smirk. "Am I not allowed to have friends now? I didn't think that was on the list of shit I couldn't do," I put my hands on my hips and scowled. I hated being treated like a child and that is what everyone was doing. First, I'm being forced back here just like in high school, and then I'm being put on probation, and being forced to take stupid training sessions. I'm not a student here, so why was I being treated like one?

"'You are," She gave in, "but I was coming to talk to you and discovered you were nowhere to be found."

"Talk about what?"

"Your training sessions will begin tonight," She informed me.

"Why are you wasting time on me? I'm not a student." I protested.

"Yes, but we called more guardians here for a reason and we need every single one of you in the best shape. You're only as strong as your weakest link," she eyed me with amusement and patted my shoulder, "and that's you Miss Hathaway." She attempted to stroll past me but I grabbed her arm, maybe a little more roughly then necessary.

"I'm a Guardian!" I growled.

She simply looked down at my hand, still gripping her arm, and waited for me to release it. When I did she spoke, "well for the past four years you haven't been acting like one."

She left then, and I watched her disappear around the corner before entering the building. I went up the four flights of stairs and walked to the end of the hall to get to my room. Figures they'd keep me on the top floor and the end of the hall so it wouldn't be easy for me to escape without notice.

I opened my door and sighed. The room wasn't as small as the one I had as a teen, but it was definitely smaller than the one I've had for the past four years. The closet was bigger than I had expected at least, though my bathroom was not. It had a sink, a toilet, and a bathtub. I guess that's all you really needed but everything was cramped impossibly close together. I sighed and tried to focus on the positive, at least it had a fairly large mirror. My room was also on the small side, nothing like Adrian's luxury suite, not that I expected that. I had a queen-sized bed, a long wooden desk a bookshelf and a chest of six drawers. Unlike Adrian's room though, my room was on the corner of the building so it came with a large window that would allow the sun to shine through.

All of my suitcases and bags were piled on my new bed and I began to unpack knowing it would probably take all day. Not wanting to face any more people from my past, I took my time unpacking my clothes carefully folding them and even taking the time to organize my closet by color, knowing full well that in a matter of days my room would be in a mess and all of this effort would be for not.

Sooner than I was happy with all of my belongings were put away and my suitcases were tucked neatly underneath my bed. I sighed and slipped under the new sheets I had just covered the bed with. I'm so glad I thought to bring new sheets. I wouldn't sleep on those old cheap ones the Academy so generously provided. As the saying goes I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

(Flashback)

"Roza…"

"Dimitri I know this is such a mista-"

I was cutoff by an unexpected hug from Dimitri. I had just told him the worst news of my life, that I was pregnant, even though it seemed impossible it was his child. He was happy about it. Happy that I had this thing inside me at 17 years old. He was ecstatic to be ruining my life. He was joyous about making me become a mother before I had decided if I even liked children. He was grateful, he wanted this, where as I did not.

He tried to pull me to his lips, but I pushed him away and pulled myself out of his arms. "No!"

"No?" he repeated confused.

"Don't hug me! Don't kiss me! Don't smile! Don't be happy!" I yelled, exasperated.

"Roza I don't understand." He wasn't getting it.

"How could you be happy about this? I'm 17! I can't have a baby! What will happen to you? To us?" I explained.

"Oh Roza, don't be scared," he reached out for me placing his hands on my shoulders, "we'll get through this, you're strong I know you'll be a great mother."

I jerked away and put my hands up as a sign for him to stop. "No way! Mother? Who said I was going to be a mother? I'm not even 18 yet Dimitri, you cannot expect me to give up on all my dreams everything I've worked so hard for, for this mistake?"

"Mistake?" Dimitri repeated looking hurt.

"Yes. I love you Dimitri but this," I pointed to my stomach, "shouldn't be possible!"

"Rose it's a miracle, our miracle. I know this came at a bad time but I could not be happier, I never thought this could happen for us, I never thought I would be able to give you this, a family." He tried to reach out for me again but I took a step back not wanting him to touch me. The way he talked about this thing and our future I knew I was going to have to break his heart. I knew he already loved it and I knew his love for this child was already greater than his love for me.

"I don't want it," my voice was barely a whisper.

"What?" he recoiled looking at me stunned.

I cleared my throat and willed my voice to be strong, "I'm not keeping this baby Dimitri." I waited for a reply and when it didn't come I continued. "I thought we couldn't have a family, I excepted that fact. I never even thought I would want kids, I don't even know if I like them. Just because we made a mistake and allowed this to happen doesn't mean we have to let it ruin our lives Dimitri. I'm not saying I would kill it, no, that's wrong but we can give it up for adoption, give it to parents who could really love it." I had to stop to catch my breath it had all came out in one big rush.

Please let him be okay with this I silently begged to whatever god might be out there listening. Please let him see what I see, that this is a mistake.

"I would love it," he finally spoke, but not the words I wanted to hear. I closed my eyes trying not to cry. "I'm the baby's parent and I would love it."

"Dimitri… I can't." I shook my head. "I can't be a mother, not now, maybe not ever, if you choose this baby, then you choose not to be with me." I couldn't help the tears that escaped my eyes. I was about to lose him, lose everything. I could already tell by the look in his eyes, he already held too much love in his heart for it.

I didn't stand a chance.

"Don't make me chose Rose," he paused and took a deep breath his face became hard with determination, "because it wont be you."

I looked down at the carpeted floor of his room, wishing for it to swallow me up and save me from this heartache and then it did. Surrounding me in sweet blackness, taking me away from that terrible moment.

The moment where Dimitri stopped loving me.

(end Flashback)

I thought I was still being swallowed by the blackness only to realize I was in bed looking up, it was dark out and my lights were off, leaving my room in complete darkness. I just lay there while my mind raced thinking about the past 24 hours so that I wouldn't think about my dream. I scowled and sat up in bed. Why the hell was I doing this? Why was I depressing myself? Some people may think of me to be a bit of an alcoholic, and some may even claim that I was a slut as well. Not that I would argue with them, but one thing I was not, was a mope. Ro Hathaway did not do pity parties. The only partying, she did was the loud, drunk, sexy kind.

With that I threw my covers back and rushed to the side of my bed. I knew what my problem was. After my earlier activities and that long ass nap, I must have worked off some of that alcohol I have consumed. I needed more. Getting on my hands and knee I pulled out a suitcase. Opening it I smiled, it was empty, except for a bottle of Tequila. I smiled at my friend and unscrewed the top, taking a nice long drink, letting myself be soothed by the familiar burn of the alcohol. After a few more drinks I frowned, something was missing… Music! I didn't have a radio so I grabbed my phone, turning the volume up as loud as it could go, which wasn't very loud and clicked the first song on the play list. Some loud song talking about drinking and getting hoes. It didn't matter. I smiled and danced, twirling around, bottle still in hand, taking long pulls from it. Then spinning again only to make myself dizzy, causing me to fall numerous times. Which only seemed to make me laugh harder.

I don't know how long I had been drinking or dancing but that first song changed to another than another than another, until the play list started over back to drinking and getting hoes. Eventually I stopped dancing only because I had a dire need to pee. Placing the bottle on my dresser I rushed to the bathroom, faster than I should have. I was beyond drunk and I stumbled into the bathroom successfully banging my left knee and shoulder into the wall that seemed to appear out of nowhere. After finally sitting down to relieve myself, I sighed feeling a million times better and a little less drunk. I flushed the toilet quickly and made my way out of the bathroom only to freeze right outside of the doorway. Standing by my dresser, holding my half empty bottle of Tequila was my mother.

The phrase if looks could kill popped into my drunken head.

"Why are you in my room?" I snapped reaching for the bottle she had in her hands.

She was a lot quicker than me in my current state and moved the bottle out of my reach. "You missed your training session." She said flatly.

"And that's your business because?" I tried again for the bottle thinking I would catch her by surprise. No such luck.

"You're drunk," she set the bottle back on my dresser but pushed me backward so I couldn't reach it.

"Again, that's your business because?" I scowled. What was this gang up on Ro day?

"Because you're my daughter." She replied like the answer was obvious.

"Oh? I'm you daughter, now am I? Not when I needed your support four years ago though? I was just some random girl to you, someone who didn't mean shit to you. You're not my mother you're an egg donor. You only had me to fulfill some sort of "duty" to repro-" before I could get the word reproduce out of my mouth I felt her hand collide with my cheek. Hard.

"Shut your mouth. I'm here because I'm your mother and I've let you get away with acting like a child for too long. I thought you would snap out of this immature stage a while ago but obviously, I was wrong," she gestured to the half empty bottle I had on my dresser.

"I'm sorry, if you think I wasn't there enough for you as a child. Boo-who Rosemarie," I cringed. I hated my name. She continued, "But it's time for you to take responsibilities for your actions, and stop passing them off to people like Dimitri."

Again, I cringed at that last sentence. That was just low. I knew she had never forgiven me, but I had hoped after four years she could just let the go. Surely, she couldn't expect me to take care of a child when I was still a child myself? No one seemed to understand; it was the main reason I had to get away, the biggest reason I ran to California.

"What do you want from me? Why are you here?" I asked exasperated, I turned away from her angrily, but I lost my balance and the floor rushed up to meet me as I fell on my ass, Hard. Ouch.

"Look at you?" she yelled gesturing to my crumpled self on the floor. "You're acting like a child! I'm trying to help you Rosemarie. Help you grow the fuck up!" I stared up at her wide-eyed, I didn't even try to get up. She was cussing, my mother was losing it and I knew a terrible storm was about to be unleashed.

"Get up!" She yelled. When I didn't move fast enough for her liking she grabbed my arm and despite our height difference she yanked me to my feet and dragged me to the bathroom.

"Let go of me!" I fought against her hold but there was no use so I just stumbled along behind, until we were in my bathroom and she finally released me. "What are y-" I knew she was pissed but I was not expecting what came next.

My mother's arm pulled back and shot forward effectively letting her fist collide with my stomach. I instantly fell on the tiled floor and threw up all the alcohol I had just consumed. I heard her walk out of the bathroom but I couldn't turn around as I heaved over and over into the toilet until I felt like my throat was completely raw and my stomach was beyond empty. I stood up shakily my legs sore from kneeling. How long had I been throwing up for? An hour? Two? Was my Mother even still here? I moved to my sink and brushed my teeth quickly trying to rid my mouth of the taste of tequila and stomach acid. While I liked the taste of tequila going down, I was not really a fan of it coming up. I shivered in disgusted; I wouldn't be drinking that for a long time.

When I walked out of the bathroom slowly, I silently prayed to whatever god existed that my mother would be gone.

He ignored me.

My mother was not only still in my room but had searched through it and found about five other bottles of alcohol that I had stashed throughout it.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked hoarsely my throat was scratchy and unappealing.

"Yes." She said simply. I blinked waiting for her to continue, but she didn't.

I sighed, and moved to grab a water bottle from the dresser near her, her eyes narrowed at it and I rolled mine. "It's water." I informed her dryly, sucking the whole thing down. "Why are you even here?"

"I'm here to help Rosemarie. Contrary to what you may think, you are my daughter and I love you." That would have been almost nice if she had left the next sentence out. "Even when you make horrendous choices and ruin the Hathaway name."

"Gee thanks Mom, I missed you too." I replied, sarcasm embedded in every word.

"You may think I don't know you Rosemarie but I do, and I know you have the same sense of duty to the moroi that I do and if the Academy was attacked again only this time you weren't able to help, then you would feel horrible, like a failure. If you think that partying and California is more important than your oath to your friends and family, you're wrong. I know you already have a list of regrets, don't add to that list."

I looked away from her piercing eyes. She was right if anything happened and I was too out of shape, or too drunk to help then I would feel immensely guilty. So, I decided then, I would go to my training sessions, no matter how stupid I think they are. And I would abide by the no drinking rule no matter how boring Missoula could be. I was sick and tired of everyone thinking I'm a horrible and useless person. I wanted to prove to everyone that I wasn't. I wanted to prove that I was right for the decision I made. I wanted my respect back.

"I'll do it," I said solemnly.

She nodded in confirmation, grabbing the bottles and making her way to the door. I held it open for her since her hands were full.

"And, Mom?"

"Yes?" She asked pausing right outside of my doorway.

"I don't have ANY regrets." It needed to be said, because I didn't.

"We'll see…" she replied lips pursed, and with that I closed the door.

So that was one of the first long flash backs we've seen, and don't worry there will definitely be more to come.

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