And here is more Lily and Rose love!

HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME

I picked up my speed putting myself a couple paces faster than my Mother. I wanted to finish my running so I could get to the elementary campus slightly earlier today. Lily promised to teach me a few Russian phrases today since I spent all last week teaching her to raise one eyebrow. She looked so adorable doing it. It made her look even sassier than before. She was like my little prodigy. She did everything I did, copying even my wardrobe and hair. I even caught her putting catsup on her tacos. Seriously? Who serves tacos without salsa?

I stopped by my dorm building leaning against the cold brick wall. We started running around campus instead of around the track after I had almost ran into Dimitri there.

"Good Job Rose." My mother panted from beside me. I was progressing well in my training. It was a lot easier getting back into shape this second time than the first time when I had run away with Lissa. My mother didn't have to slow down for me anymore and she actually left panting after our training sessions. I even manage to pin her twice so far during our sparing matches. Pretty amazing for only a week and a half of training, if I do say so myself.

"Thanks" I said extending her my water bottle cheerfully.

"Well, you're in a good mood today, and every day this week actually," My mother commented looking at me from where she stood cooling down after our run.

I just shrugged absent-mindedly playing with the bracelet Lily made me in class the other day. "Yeah, I guess I am, are we done for today? I need to shower before I head to the elementary campus."

"So, you like working there?" My mom asked eyeing me in an odd way.

"It's okay I guess. The kids are cool, not little gremlins like I thought," I told her.

"I see that," she nodded to the bracelet that I had around my wrist I smirked thinking of Lily's sassy self.

"Oh, a kid made me this," I smiled.

"Which one?" she asked with absent-mindedly drinking more water.

"Her name is Lily and-" I started to say fondly, but then my mother started choking on the water. "Are you-" I started to ask but she put a hand up.

"I'm fine," she pinching the bridge of her nose.

"What?" I demanded, placing my hands on my hips.

"I thought you didn't like kids Rosemarie?" she asked all of a sudden serious.

I rolled my eyes and started stretching my legs so they wouldn't cramp later. "I don't like parents either." I said grumpily. Great she ruined my good mood.

"I'm serious Rosemarie," She stopped to look me in the eye. "You should leave this kid alone."

I stood straight up, "What? No, she's my friend," I protested then cringed when I realized how completely pathetic it sounded. I know it sounded crazy for me to have a friend that was four but she was a lot more mature then the other booger eaters in her class. There's just something about her that's just familiar like I've known her all my life, even though that's impossible considering my age and hers. Lily makes my crappy day a little better she, I don't know, makes me happy. Which is something I can't say about anyone now a days. Everyone here just wants to yell and boss me around. If it weren't for Lily I would have left already.

"Rosemarie, have you thought about what happens in a couple of weeks when you can go back to guarding? Kids need stability not people coming in and out of their lives." I wrinkled my nose, I hadn't thought of that.

"I… I'll visit her. It's not like I'm moving away anytime soon. I'll go see her maybe even work it out with her dad to go on like girl dates, how cute would that be?" I asked smiling. I thought it was a great idea but my Mothers face paled.

"Right like you visited us when you left for California?" She crossed her arms.

"That was different…"

"Look, all I'm trying to say is that you have never been one to accept responsibility. When you detect an ounce of trouble you bolt. I don't know where you get it from, but that's just how you are. I'm sorry," She shrugged like what she was saying to me was no big deal but I looked down ashamed.

Was this what everyone thought of me? That I was a flake? I hugged myself without realizing it. "I got to go," without waiting for a response I turned on my heel and rushed to my room to shower and change, the whole time thinking of what my mother had said.

Would I always be like this? A flake? Would I always just run when the going got tough? Would I run for the rest of my life? I don't want to be like that I want to be stable. Someone that other people could depend on. I wanted to fall in love again, even though I knew I'd never have another great love like Dimitri.

I had no shot with him now. The last moments we were together I treated him like shit. Hell, the last nine months we were together I had treated him badly. He never deserved the way I treated him, just because I was an irresponsible brat. He was doing the right thing and I treated him like crap because of it. I didn't deserve him and I still don't. I don't know that I ever will. He was always too good for a fuck up like me. Even though most people don't get to get close to him like I did, if they were lucky enough to then they would know he had a big heart and a beautiful soul to match.

Without realizing it I had already left my room and made my way to the elementary building.

I stood outside the building trying to pull myself together. I wouldn't let Lily see me like this. I actually cared about the little girl. Just as I was about to enter the building I bumped into someone.

My hand shot out to catch the person, "I'm so-" I stopped when I recognized the blonde headed green eye Princess who dragged my sorry ass here. "Sorry." I finished.

"Rose," I held back the face I wanted to make at the sound of that name.

"What are you doing here?" I asked straightening up.

She gestured to the baby she had in a carrier with a blanket over it.

"Oh, that's your um..." I couldn't get the word out it was too weird to associate that word to Lissa.

"Daughter," She finished for me. "I'm dropping her off at daycare."

"Yeah," I flushed.

"So why are you here?"

"They're making me work here until I'm back in shape to be a guardian," I explained and as I talked to her the more I missed her, and the more I wanted to break down the brick wall I had built in my head to keep her out. I missed my best friend, but how could I ever want her back after the way she treated me? The way she took Dimitri's side instead of supporting me?

"Here? With Kids?" She looked at me uneasily now.

"Yeah at that room at the end of the hall. I think those kids are four," I shrugged. I had only gotten to know one kid. The only one that mattered really, the rest were sticky little gremlins that I wanted nothing to do with.

Just like my mother Lissa's eyes widened. "What?" I asked annoyed.

"Nothing I… just didn't think you liked kids." She replied hesitantly.

I was going to reply but Lissa sudden spoke, saying she needed to drop off he daughter, weird, and go to work. I watched her scurry off into the building. Why was everyone acting so weird about me working here? They were probably shocked at the fact you can be around kids after you abandoned your own. I flinched at my internal voice scolding me. Where had that come from? I shook it off and walked into the building.

"Miss Marieeeee!" A little voice squealed when I walked into the room.

"Inside voice Lily, I reminded her like I had to everyday.

"Miss Marieeeeee!" she whisper-shouted. I tried to keep my disapproving face in place but I couldn't help but laugh. The kid was just too cute.

"Hello Lily, how has your morning been?" I asked, taking a seat. It looked like the other kids were just having free play so I was free to do what I wanted at the moment. Lily took my smile and greeting as an invitation to chatter on and on about her morning.

As Lily chattered on she mentioned showing her Dad her new trick. She was so proud of her self she was glowing. A few of the other kids came and watched her trick, she was smiling so brightly you could tell she loved the attention.

Lily was putting on a show for her friends, showing them how she lifted her eyebrow but never explaining how to do it, she would just make comments about how "it wasn't as easy as it looks" or "it takes practice."

I couldn't help but think about Dimitri, she reminded me of him at the moment with her Zen life lesson like words. At that moment I thought of our daughter. I wonder whom she was like? Sarcastic and upbeat like me, or centered and disciplined like Dimitri? I wondered what my daughter looked like. Did she look like me, or Dimitri? What did she like to do in her free time? I used to love going to the playground. Playing tag was my favorite. Probably because it was the only time I could hit people and get away with it. Yeah, I was a little shit.

"Miss Marie, are you ok?" Lily's voice asked me, as I came back to reality.

"Huh, yeah." I tried to sound convincing but my voice cracked.

Lily came up to me and pressed her tiny thumb to my cheek and wiped something wet away. My tears, I was crying. How did I not notice that? Was thinking about Dimitri and our daughter making me cry? Or maybe it was allergies. Yep, definitely allergies.

"Don't be sad Miss Marie. Everything will be ok." Lily tried to reassure me. God, she was such an angel. Until then I had only really seen her sarcastic playful side, besides the time I almost made her cry, but now I saw her soft enduring side. She was a caring little girl I realized.

I looked at Lily but I saw Dimitri's face. It was odd to say the least. That probably happened because I was thinking of Dimitri. He used to care for me at the academy. He wiped away his share of tears from my cheeks as well.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Am I starting to regret my decision? Did I want to be with Dimitri? And be a mother to his child? Shit, I don't know.

Four years ago, I was so sure about myself. So, sure that I knew what I wanted to do. Well not exactly, but I knew what I didn't want to do and that was to be a mother. That just wasn't for me. And now, I don't know what the hell I want. I don't know what I'm looking for. But I know I'm looking for something. Love? Acceptance maybe? All I know is I'm definitely not happy with the way my life is turning out now. In California my life was perfect, but now being forced to sober up in Missoula has opened my eyes to the chaotic state my life is in.

If I died now, what would I have? Nothing. Who would miss me? No one. Because I have no one, and I have nothing. I left everything behind when I left the little girl I gave birth to.

Lily gave me a hug, and admittedly it made me feel better.

We then continued with "The Lily Show."

Lily really impressed me she's a fast learner. Not to mention her little nose looked so cute when she wrinkled it in concentration. I talked the other kids through the process of lifting an eyebrow and let them attempt to do it themselves. It was a no go, they all just blinked their eyes and convinced themselves they were doing it. Whatever.

The rest of the day went by the same as the others. Violet read multiple stories. Then we both started teaching the kids to write their names.

Lily did hers in the most correct way, never mind that her name was the easiest, she's just smarter than the others in the class. Everyone else wrote their names in backwards letters and scribbles even. It safe to say Lily was the sharpest crayon in this box.

After that she had them coloring. And while the other gremlins scribbled all over the page, Lily colored nicely. She even mostly stayed in the lines because she was smart and outlined the image with the crayon first, and then colored it in.

She was just so much smarter than the other children. And I know that's not fair to say because all kids learn at a different pace, and blah, blah, blah, but I couldn't help it. I definitely saw a few kids making a meal of buggers and crayons. Just Ew. After I saw that I took away Lily's crayons and gave her some markers and told her not to share with the other kids. Call it playing favorites if you want but I wasn't about to let Lily catch a disease because I let her share crayons with the rest of the riff raff.

"Lily, your dad is here." Violet called out.

"Yay! Miss Marie, you get to finally meet my Daddy." She was so thrilled it warmed my heart. It was too sweet that she liked me enough that she wanted me to meet her father. She had talked about this since the first day I met her and I wanted her Dad to like me. I just knew he would be great. He'd have to be, to raise such an amazing kid like Lily. I mildly wondered if her dad is cute, cause Lily sure was a little beauty. The little girl obviously got it from somewhere.

I turned around to walk Lily to her cubby to get her jacket.

I saw a tall man with tanned skin.

Lily ran up to the Man and launched herself into his arms.

I noticed the man had long brown hair and my heart panged.

I loved Dimitri's long hair.

Lily then turned to the man and said, "Daddy this is Miss Marie."

"Roza?" the man asked incredulously.

And I couldn't breathe...

Dun Dun Dun... Sorry for the cliffy!

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