This is kind of a filler chapter sorry but it's not completely boring. It's just setting up what's to come in the next chapter.

Enjoy!

HUMAN

I'm just going to put it out there that I'm feeling particularly bitter, today. Then again when am I not lately? It's like ever since I got here, my life has been full of ups and downs. I'm on this emotional roller coaster and I'd like to get off.

It's been two weeks since the "latest" Dimitri incident. And I haven't seen him since, which means I hadn't seen Lily either. I wasn't the one avoiding him. For once it was the other way around.

When I got home that night I just went to bed. I pushed passed anyone who got in my way on the way to my room. I did not look at anyone. I did not pass GO. I did not collect $200.

I heard people grumbling as I roughly shoved through them, but I didn't give a shit. I couldn't face anyone, especially my mother. I didn't want her to look me in the eyes and see the horrible thing I had just done. I didn't want her to see how I just broke not only my own heart, but Dimitri's too.

When I went down to the gym the next day my Mother and I ran practically silently, only the sound of our footfalls to break the awkward silence. Once we ran up to my building she broke the silence.

"You're an idiot," she said calmly like we were discussing the weather.

"Excuse me?" I had started my cool down stretches and stopped in surprise at her words.

"You heard me Rosemarie." She narrowed her eyes at me. "I'm not stupid, I may not know exactly what you've done or said this time but I've noticed the way you've been acting all week. You've been mopey and moody and kind of bitchy."

Did my Mother just call me a bitch?

She continued before I could ask, "And I've seen Dimitri too, he's a mess."

What the hell? She'd seen Dimitri? And he was a mess?

"What are you talking about? Me telling him the truth about our relationship?"

"The truth? What exactly is the truth Rosemarie?" She asked.

"That we can't be together because I don't..." I trailed off but my Mother's face grew hard knowing what I meant.

"Bullshit! That's a lie and you know it. Are you honestly going to stand here and look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love him?"

"Of course, I love him, just in a platonic way." I tried to force the lies out of my mouth hoping they would appease her.

"You're acting like a child Rosemarie. Lying is for children. I thought you were past all that. Lying is the absolute worst thing a person can do in a relationship. Do you know why Rose?" I just stared at her, unable to move as my motor functions were down "Because that shows your partner that they can't trust you. It also shows your partner that you don't love and respect them enough to tell them the truth. Once that line of communication is broken down there is no relationship. And if there is, it's not a healthy one. If you're going to act like a child, a novice, then I'll treat you like one."

How dare she say that to me! When she hasn't even had a healthy relationship with her daughter until a few weeks ago. And what the hell did her last sentence mean? She was going to treat me like a novice?

"I don't know what to say. What do you want me to say? Huh? That I love Dimitri? Fine done, I love Dimitri, and no, not in a platonic way. Are you happy now? Does that make you happy? That I'm still in love with him and I completely fucked up my chance with him?" I spat at her.

"You're missing the point, as usual. Everyone else knows you love him. Except for the one person that really matters, Dimitri. What I'm saying is that he loves you so much, even after all these years. And I think you do have a shot to be with him, one last chance." I looked into her honest eyes and for the first time I felt hopeful. "But you have to be quick about it."

"Okay, I'll tell him as soon as I can." My Mother left then, nodding her head at me.

Once she disappeared my shoulders sagged. I felt like pulling out my own damn hair. How was I supposed to fix this when Dimitri wanted nothing to do with me? I thought I was doing the right thing in giving him his space. I didn't want to make things worse, but of course like always, no matter what I do, I fuck up everything I touched.

With a huff, I hauled my sweaty ass up the stairs and threw myself in the showered just standing numbly under the warm water until my stomach protested, against skipping breakfast this morning and was demanding I eat lunch now.

Once dry and dressed I headed for the Dining Hall. I just wanted to grab a sandwich or two… or a dozen. I wasn't sure; I'd see when I got there. I just know I did not want to stay there, and then I'd have to deal with all the staring. Ever since I got here people looked at me oddly, but ever since my scene with Dimitri people full out stared when I passed by. I guess the scene over Lily reminded everyone exactly why I had left, and that coming back was obviously not an original idea. I shuddered to think what I would do if some dared to talk to me. God, I was in no mood today. I walked briskly up to the counter and notice with delight they were serving breakfast for lunch.

Score!

I grabbed a tray and piled it high with food. I realized I had put together the exact breakfast that I had eaten two weeks ago. The first morning I spent with my daughter and Dimitri. I came to the startling realization that not only did I miss Lily, but I missed Dimitri too. It's been two weeks since I've seen either one of them, and my heart ached because of it.

I showed up for work every single day. But Lily didn't show. Apparently, Guardian Belikov's daughter was home sick. On Monday, Lily Belikova had a cold. On Tuesday, she had laryngitis. On Wednesday, she had an ear infection. On Thursday, she had the stomach flu. And on Friday, Lily had the chicken pox. It's a good thing there was no school on Saturday because Guardian Belikov would most likely call in saying his daughter was on her deathbed. The next week he gave up on his excuse all together. Only calling to say she wouldn't be there.

Dimitri is by no means a stupid man. He knew there was no way someone could have all those sicknesses in the same week. He was sending a message. He didn't want to see me. Well, message received.

Those two weeks of school were complete and utter hell! And shockingly enough not just because Lily wasn't there.

It was Violet. She looked at me differently. Like she was trying to decide whether or not I was the horrible person everyone talked about. She must have heard all he rumors and I'm sure she heard Dimitri and I arguing in the hall, we weren't exactly quiet. Sure, she was still nice, she'd smile when she saw me. But would slowly walk away from me never turning her back to me like I'd pounce or something.

"So... Did you fuck your baby daddy yet?" I heard a male voice say from behind me. So, startled by the interaction I choked on my orange juice. As I turned I saw the familiar jet-black hair with breathtaking baby blues that sat upon none other than Christian Ozera.

"What the hell?" I asked

"Language Christian!" Lissa scolded.

"She's 6-months-old Lis. She has no idea what anyone's saying." Then he directed his attention to the baby that I now noticed was in his lap, "Right? Tell Mommy you have no clue what Daddy's saying!" I stared slightly afraid at the sound and sight of Christian using "baby-talk".

Fucking.

Weird.

"Are you going to sit or just stare Rose?" Christian asked moving his attention back to me.

"I uh—" I looked at the door only a few yards away, I was so close to escaping here unscathed. I looked to Lissa then and her eyes were wide and hopeful. Damn. I sat down with a sigh and dropped my tray on the table nosily, earning a giggle from the drool machine in Christians lap.

"So, did you?" Lissa asked shaking me from my thoughts.

"Did I what?"

"Did. You. Fuck. Your. Baby. Daddy. Yet?" Christian repeated each word as if he was questioning an ignorant child, Lissa rolled her eyes, I assume at his language, but looked at me waiting.

"Don't call him that!" I deflected.

"Oh my god, you did!" Lissa gasped a little too loudly, I looked around paranoid and glared at a few nosey people who looked our way.

"Shut the hell up!" I hissed.

"Oh Yay! That's a week's worth night time feedings for you Christian!"

"What?" I questioned looking back and forth between them. Christian was scowling shaking his head and Lissa was doing a happy dance swinging her daughters' chubby arms back and forth to make her dance along with her. "Did you two bet on whether or not I'd sleep with Dimitri?" I asked my jaw dropped. "Lissa you really have so little faith in me?"

That halted her happy dancing. "No Rose, I just knew you two couldn't stay apart, you love each other." She smiled at me sweetly.

"I had no faith in you Rose, Adrian's a big gossip," I blushed at the fact that they knew about that.

"Then why?" I asked confused

"I had lots of faith in Dimitri, obviously, it was misplaced." Christian shook his head again, grumbling the last part.

I took a bite of my toast, "You two are unbelievable," I glared at them both.

"Oh, don't be mad Rosie," Christian taunted. I glared again at that name. "How can you be mad at this cute face?" Christian lifted Chrissa up. I looked at the baby, and she giggled again blowing a spit bubble, which popped and sent her into another fit of giggles. Disgusting.

I leaned away not wanting the thing so close to me.

"Oh my god, Is Rosie afraid of babies?" Christian laughed extending the baby out further. I leaned back even more

"No, of course not," but I couldn't bring myself to lean back in. She was within spitting distance. Lissa tried to stifle a giggle and failed. "Okay, very funny, now take her back."

"Why don't you hold her?" I stared at him dumbly. Was he fucking serious?

"No thanks…" I shook my head. I was not holding that thing.

Christian just extended his arms out farther, "Take the baby Rose." Oh god, he was serious.

"No, take her back Christian." I extended a hand touching the baby's stomach and pushing her away slightly, being very careful to avoid touching the drool on her shirt.

He seemed thoughtful for a moment. I breathed a sigh of relief thinking he was going to take back the baby. "Catch," He said loudly letting go of Chrissa.

I gasped in shock, but my hands shot out to catch the baby without my brain's knowledge.

"Christian!" Lissa shrieked punching him hard in the arm, "what if she hadn't caught her! Are you insane? That's our child!" Her face was red with rage as she hit his arm again.

The jostling of the baby and the sound of her parents fighting seemed to upset Chrissa and her face scrunched up. "Umm… guys?" I asked weakly. Oh, fuck I knew what was coming next. I had the baby in my hands but they were still outstretched, holding her over the table.

"Oh, common I knew Rose would catch her!" He defended himself.

"What if she hadn't? Do you even think? I swear sometimes you—"

They continued fighting and Krissa's face started to turn a shade of pink, her lip trembling. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Guys," I said a little louder, still ignored.

By now Chrissa had opened her mouth taking a huge breath as in preparation. "Guys!" I practically yelled. My yelling must have been the last straw and she let out a loud wail that turned more than a few heads in the dining hall. "Fuck! What do I do?" I looked frantically between the two, who now gave me their full attention.

Lissa looked at me oddly, "Rose… have you held a baby before?" She asked astonished. I mean yeah, I get it. I had a four-year-old daughter it was hard to believe I had never held a baby before, but I also gave up said daughter the day she was born. I was too panicked to speak so I shook my head violently back and forth.

"Hold her closer to you," Lissa directed me. She wanted me to bring the possessed thing closer to me? So, I could what? Go deaf?

"No way!" I refused finding my voice. "Just take her!" I begged.

"No Rose, you can do it." She smiled sweetly and all I wanted to do was toss the baby across the room and cry along with the thing in my hands. I looked to Christian for help, but he held his hands up in a gesture that said you're on your own. Bastards.

I squeezed my eyes shut and brought the baby to my chest in an awkward cradle.

Fuck she was still wailing.

"Now what," I opened my eyes and peaked at Lissa.

"Bounce her," came a reply.

I bounce up and down begging for the crying to stop, but it only got louder.

"She's a baby not a damn rocket ship, what are you trying to do? Take lift off?" came another snarky reply. I mentally flipped him off but slowed my bouncing like he said. Finally, the wailing quieted to a whimper, and I could breath again. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at Chrissa. I had to admit, she looked kind of cute. She had quieted and was now staring at me with bright green eyes; she was studying me probably trying to figure out who the hell was holding her.

"Awe Rose! I think Chrissa likes you," Lissa squealed, practically bouncing in her seat.

"I have to admit Lis, you make pretty babies." Lissa smiled and looked to Christian proudly. "I mean she could've gone horribly wrong with having half of his DNA," I jerked my head to Christian to clarify. "Luckily it seems she got all your good-looking traits." I stuck my tongue out childishly at Christian and laughed. It was obviously a joke, Chrissa didn't have much hair but the hair she did have was coming in an impossibly dark black, just like her Daddys'.

"Come off it Hathaway and give me back my baby," As he said that I smelled something horrific and knew instantly where it came from.

"Here," I said practically shoving the baby at him. Disgusting. The baby lost all her appeal to me after that. Sadly, so did my food, I forced myself to swallow my eggs and drink the rest of my orange juice but there was no way I was eating anything else after the bomb that baby had just dropped. "Well now that I'm thoroughly grossed out, I'm off to another training session."

I jumped up and snagged a piece of bacon from Christian's tray, smirking at the glare he sent me. I wasn't even hungry and I had my own bacon on my plate. But after the bitch move he pulled today he was now on my shit list.

I jogged lightly back to my room noting I was already late but I swear my shirt smelled like baby shit and I just could not wear this another minute so my mother would just have to wait. Maybe I'd get lucky and she would even cancel the session today. That would honestly be a blessing, now that I was out of this shirt and tugging on a sports bra, a pair of spandex shorts and slipped on my running shoes from this morning. I felt better. I jogged to get to the gym so I wouldn't be too late.

I had to admit despite the bomb Chrissa dropped. I was happy I had held her and even got her to stop crying. It made me feel like maybe I could do this mommy thing and not be too terrible at it.

I pushed open the gym doors and immediately began apologizing for being late. "I know I'm late but I really had to change. Chrissa-"

I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized it wasn't my Mother standing in the gym.

"Hello Rose," Dimitri greeted me.

I just blinked. "Hi." I squeezed my eyes shut then opened them again. Shit he really was there. "Where's my Mom?" I asked dumbly.

"She had a conflict, so she asked me to take over your training sessions until she resolved it." I nodded dumbly.

"And did she say when that would be?" I asked hoping it would be sometime soon.

"No."

That Bitch! That's what she meant by treating me like a novice. She was going to force Dimitri to train me again until I told him the truth. I gulped. How was I supposed to train with him again? In this gym. Where we first fell in love.

Dimitri turned around and picked something up from the floor. I tried, I really did try to avert my eyes from Dimitri's ass but I'm weak and I couldn't help but ogle that perfect ass. Dammit. We hadn't even been together in this gym 10 minutes and I was having impure thoughts.

So caught up in my thoughts I just barely noticed when he threw a pair of padded gloves at me. I guess we were sparing today. I slipped on my gloves and took a few minutes to stretch before making my way into the circle.

At first no one moved, then I got tired of waiting, knowing whether I made the first move or not my ass was probably going to end up on the mat.

And it did.

Again, and again and again.

I had beaten my mother a few times, and by few, I mean 2. Dimitri was another story though. I had forgotten how fast and agile he was, plus I was a little distracted, halfway through our training session he took off his shirt. How was that fighting fair? I mean I didn't get my ass completely kicked, but I didn't last too long up against him.

The last time he pinned me he shook his head at me.

"What?" I demanded still trapped below him.

"You aren't training enough."

"It's only been a few weeks," I defended myself. I was completely off my game today, but I couldn't tell him why.

He pursed his lips, still looking at me. I wanted nothing more than to press my body against his. To feel his lips against mine again, but I held myself back.

"There's something I want to tell you." I breathed out tenderly. I didn't really want to tell him here. But I wanted to say what I had to say before I chickened out.

"Me first." Dimitri must have realized he was still on top of me and sat up, bringing me up with him. "Listen I'm really sorry about last week. It was unfair to spring all of that on to you. You know, all that stuff about us. It was childish of me to avoid you as well. I don't know why, I let my emotions interfere with my life. So, I'm taking your advice, Lily is all that matters right now. In fact, we're going to the park tomorrow afternoon and you should come." He smiled slightly at me.

He was possibly the only person who could apologize and make you feel worse about yourself. And on top of all that I was about to "grow a pair and tell him" and he tells me I was right all along. Why the hell is this my life?

I wanted nothing more than to tell him I loved him. I wanted nothing more than to tell him that I needed him. That, I didn't want to live without him. But I couldn't. After all the times I've rejected him it wouldn't be fair to try to get what I want now. Not again. What if this really makes him happier? Who am I to take away his happiness yet again just because I'm selfish?

So, I just smiled and nodded my head, "I'd love to come… to the park, I mean. I'd love to go to the park with you and Lily," my face had to have been bright red by that point.

Dimitri just chuckled and winked, "I'd loved for you to come too Roza."

Fuck me. Literally.

Rose's and Dimitri's POV will be in the next chapter.

If you read it, review it.