I'm so pumped that I'm almost done re-vamping these chapter. I thought I was going to change a lot more than I actually did. There were so many mistakes though, and I'm glad I combed through it all.

Happy reading!

PAPER HEARTS

ROSE POV

I volunteered to pick up the gym after the training session with Dimitri, I needed time to think. Well so I thought. I moved silently around the gym picking up the equipment that we had used, it was so quiet I thought I would go crazy. So, I did a half assed job of cleaning and decided to go on a run that I didn't really need but I had to keep myself busy. I didn't really think about where I was going. One mile morphed into another. I have no clue how long I had been running for but I knew it had to have been at least an hour. I tried hard not to think about Dimitri and how royally screwed up our situation was. I didn't even know how to fix it anymore. Did I want to be selfish and claim not only to need my daughter but Dimitri as well? He seemed to have moved on. Do I really even deserve his love anymore? If it was even still there. The answer was hell no I did not. I stopped near my building to catch my breath. I was panting hard. I hadn't even realized how tired I was. I groaned and bent at the waist struggling to catch my breath. I was so lost in my own misery that I almost didn't notice someone approach me. I groaned when I looked up to see Adrian's lazy smirk.

"What the fuck do you want?" Maybe I was being a bit rude but I had been having a shit day and was in no mood to socialize, unless it was with a bottle of tequila.

Oh, how I missed tequila.

"Aren't you cutting off you air supply bent over that way?" He commented.

"Aren't you supposed to like be working or something?" I asked annoyed that he was in fact right, and I straightened up placing my hands on my head.

"I got sick. Had to come home." He winked.

"So, go home."

"I thought that maybe you could help me feel a little better."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because that was a one-time thing."

"Really? I think I recall you saying the opposite a month ago."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't argue Adrian, you sound like a child."

"Oh I see, this is about Lily," I stood straight up at the mention of my daughter's name.

"Don't even say my daughters' name." I bit through clinched teeth. I turned on my heel and entered the building. I stomped through the hall and to the stairs trying to pretend that Adrian was not behind me.

"Oh, now she's your daughter? It didn't seem that way for the past four years." He taunted from behind me but I ignored him still.

"He will never let you truly be a mother to her."

I had begun to open my door at this point and stopped my head snapping towards him. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Oh please, you really thought he would let you be a mother to the daughter you abandoned."

I shook my head and pushed my door open, "you don't know what you're talking about."

Adrian just laughed, "You actually thought after four years you could come back and play Mommy? I feel so bad for you." I looked down self-consciously, that had been what I thought would happen.

"You don't know anything about Dimitri and our daughter," I spit. I couldn't believe I was actually letting him get to me.

"Oh no, it wasn't just that though." He took a step closer to me and I took a step back entering my room. "You actually thought after four years you could come back not only to play mother but to play devoted girlfriend to Dimitri." He was laughing again.

"Shut up," I growled, my jaw clenched tightly.

Adrian took a few steps towards me. I didn't move. He came to stand directly in front of me grabbing the tops of my arms so I couldn't step away, his mouth was dangerously close to mine.

"Come on, Rose," he purred. "You had to know that wouldn't happen. One day Lily will have a mother, but she won't be you. Once Lily's older, Dimitri will explain to her about her biological mother, maybe even naming you, then he will find someone who won't ever abandon her the way you did."

I didn't even speak I just lifted my hand and slapped him across the face. Hard. I would've punched him if I weren't so close and had room to recoil my arm to land a good one. There was fire in his eyes.

"Fuck you," I told him in a low voice that sounded nothing like mine.

Before I could even detect the motion, Adrian had me pressed against my door, and was kissing me roughly, holding me against my will, not that I couldn't break his hold. I moaned into the rough kiss when his tongue pried my lips open, pushing his tongue into my mouth and stroking mine with his.

By that time, I was shaking. I didn't know if I was angry, upset, or what, but I was letting Adrian get to me. Before I knew it, the back of my knees hit the bed and I sat down.

How the hell did that happen?

Adrian smirked at me and crawled on top of me kissing me and pushing my legs open so he could settle himself there.

What the fuck am I doing?

Could I do this? I was a single, twenty-two-year-old woman. What if Adrian was right and Dimitri would just replace me with a new woman? He seemed to have moved on from me today. I internally cringed at the image of another woman playing with my daughter, taking her to school, kissing her boo boos. Even worse than that was imagining another woman sharing a bed with Dimitri. The love of my life. If he was going to have someone, why couldn't I? But I didn't want Adrian. I had never wanted Adrian. In my anger, frustration and flat out jealousy I just couldn't bring myself to make him stop.

Adrian began trailing open mouthed kissed down my body and began to slowly undress me. I had to close my eyes. I couldn't look at who was actually doing this to me. I wanted it to be Dimitri. It should have been him. But I was too late. I completely fucked over my chance with him. It would never be him.

I groaned as I felt Adrian's fingers enter me. I wasn't into it, but it didn't matter. I just imagined myself with Dimitri. I imagined his fingers inside me, griping his long brown hair, and cumming on his warm wet tongue. And as time went on it wasn't Adrian who fucked me all night long and slept naked by my side, but Dimitri. The man I would probably never have.

Unfortunately, it was also Dimitri who woke me up the next morning.

"Rose!" I heard someone scream.

Oh Fuck! This is not happening.

I was startled, sitting up quickly holding the bed sheet to my bare chest as Adrian fell from the bed in shock. I looked at Dimitri, whose face looked both mortified and livid. And then I saw his hands. I nearly threw up at the sight before me. Lily was there. My daughter and her father had just walked in on me in bed with another fucking man.

Please someone kill me now.

Dimitri started to leave. I had to get to him. To explain? To beg? To cry? I don't know, probably a combination of all three. He wouldn't even look at me and then he was gone, taking my daughter with him. I wanted to fucking punch something, but I had to get rid of my problem first. That asshole knew exactly how to get me to cave. But I was the dumbass who let him get to me. I threw on my clothes from yesterday despite how dirty they were, and tried to follow Dimitri out of the building but Adrian got in my way.

"Get the fuck out Adrian."

"What?" he laughed like an idiot.

"I said go home."

"But Rosie we were just getting started," I rolled my eyes. He was only saying that because he knew Dimitri could hear him.

"I don't give a shit. Get out." I stated again.

"Jesus Rosie, I don't get it. It's not that big of a deal, lets just go back inside."

"First of all stop calling me Rosie. Second of all, my four-year-old daughter and her father just caught me naked in bed with another man. What part don't you understand? It is a big fucking deal. I never should've let you in, in the first place. Now go the fuck home!" I was seething and shaking I was so mad, and finally the dumb fucker left me alone to cry over what had just happened.

By the time Dimitri returned that evening, I was ready for anything he could throw at me and he didn't disappoint. His ability to lecture me and make me feel like a child was completely on point today. It was just what I needed to light up my temper. My mother's temper. The same one I gave to me daughter. For almost an hour, we screamed, we yelled, we name called, and we threatened. He wasn't backing down, so neither would I.

When Lisa came in and added to the mix, I was ready to pull my hair out. I was so consumed with jealousy and frustration that nothing else mattered. Now, I was going to have to get reamed from everyone. Ugh, I definitely hoped my mother didn't hear about this.

By the time Lisa left, Dimitri had calmed down. My anger had faded significantly, but everything else remained; the embarrassment, the guilt, the pain, the fear. I was absolutely petrified that Lily had seen something. I didn't know anything about child psychology, but was concerned what the outcome of my stupidity would be for her. The worst part, however, was the fact that I was not fit to be a parent. Now that I actually wanted to be one, the idea that Dimitri would take her from me was agonizing. His assurance before he left that he wouldn't did little to comfort me.

I thought that if I gave him space it would be easier. I needed space too. This whole situation was still so fucked up. I sulked in my room for the rest of the night, not bothering to even go down for breakfast, lunch or dinner. No one bothered me either. Lisa must have told them to leave me alone. I'd have to thank her for that later.

The following day I went to breakfast, and training, only to find out that Dimitri cancelled our training because of meetings he had to go to all day. Luckily, this meant that Lily was at school when I got there. We played and hung out together like normally but unlike normally I was extra careful about what I would say around her and how I acted. At the end of the day Lily was the last one and I told Violet that I would wait with Lily until her Dad came. This was met with a little hesitation, but a stern look from me had her hustling to get her things together and leave.

Lily and I hung out for about an hour and I made it a point to talk to her. She didn't act any differently than usual. She told me about her new favorite movie freeze or frostbite or something. I don't know, she just kept talking about snowmen and warm hugs and singing about how I should let it go. I didn't understand, but I supposed I didn't need to. At least she didn't ask me what I was doing naked in bed with a weird man. Finally, after an hour Dimitri showed up and Lily glared at him. I had to hold back a laugh, Lily was furious.

"You. Are. Late." She stomped her foot.

"Daddy was in meetings all day Liliya," Dimitri answered her, she allowed him to pick her up in a hug, but she was still visibly upset. "I know Lily do you want Roza to come and watch a movie with you tonight?" he asked her, trying to cheer her up. It worked.

"Yes! Can we watch Frozen? Daddy can we Please?!" she begged with all of her little heart.

"Ask Roza, Lily," she then turned those big brown eyes at me and I was toast.

Before I answered I raised my eyebrows at Dimitri in question, why would he want me to come over so late? He looked to me in desperation and I couldn't say no to both of them.

"I would love to Lily!" I said smiling.

"Yay!" Lily wiggled out of her Dad's arms and ran into the hall to collect her back pack.

"Why the invite comrade?" I asked smiling when he realize that I had indeed called him by his old nickname.

"Honestly, I'm only on a break right now, I have to go back for another hour or so, just enough time for dinner and a movie with Lily, then I swear I'll be back." He explained in a rush.

"Wait, you're going to let me baby-sit Lily? Alone?" I gulped.

"That's what I was thinking." I guess my apprehensiveness was written all over my face. "Unless you don't want to…" he trailed off.

"No, I do. I'm just nervous. It's our first time alone together. You really trust me?" I asked almost afraid of the answer.

"After everything that has happened I can tell you've learned your lesson and how are you going to be able to take care of Lily if I don't give you the opportunity to."

I was slightly speechless. I wasn't house sitting or watching someone's cat. Dimitri trusted me, despite all of my fuck ups, to watch over our daughter alone. "Thank you, really Dimitri," I wanted him to know just how much I appreciated him giving me a chance.

"Let's go! Let's go! Lets go!" Lily called from the hall obviously excited about me coming over.

So the makers of Frozen should be punished. Like medieval style beheaded or stoned or drowned. I'm sorry I know this movie was supposed to be a mega hit with the kids but fuck me if "let it go" isn't the most annoying song known to man. The song wouldn't have been so terrible to listen to if I didn't have to stop and rewind the movie eight times so Lily could sing and dance along. Like literally she acted out the whole scene. I was going to have a talk with Dimitri about how much TV he was letting Lily watch because obviously, it was too much. It was so adorable the first time and I was so amazed at how into it she got but damn my ears were bleeding after the fourth time. The song wasn't bad, it was those damn high notes that Lily insisted she could hit. My little girl was cute and sassy but a singer she was not. After the eighth time, I refused anymore reply's and made her sit her ass down on the couch so I could make her something to eat. That and because I couldn't take listening to the retarded snowman bitch about wanting it to be summer. Why wouldn't someone just tell that dumbass he would melt and die?

"Hello? Anybody home?" Dimitri's voice called from the front door.

"Yeah! In here!" I called from the couch where Lily and I were AGAIN watching Frozen.

Lily's head didn't even shift away from the screen. Her Dad apparently wasn't as important as watching little Anna annoy the shit out of her sister about building a fucking snow man.

I swear if I were Elsa I would've choked her out.

"So, how'd it go?" He mouthed, nodding in Lily's direction. "Any problems?"

I shook my head, and rose from the couch, moving to stand in the kitchen beside him. "Nope. She was perfect."

"Did she eat?" He asked, taking in the status of his tidy kitchen.

"She did. She wanted ice cream; we agreed on mac and cheese and fruit."

His eyebrows slid upward. "I'm impressed. You cook?" He asked, suddenly interested.

"Nope," I replied, popping the "p", "It was from a box."

"Still better than ice cream," He point out, smiling.

"You could have warned me about that horrid movie you know," I wrinkled my nose in annoyance when he laughed at me, which in turn only made him laugh harder.

Dimitri's arms folded across his chest and he leaned his hip against the counter, staring at me.

"What?" I smooth my large sweater self-consciously. My shoulders were bare since it was off the shoulders. They were sun-kissed now from my time spent running in the mornings. My bare feet show the early signs of a farmer's tan from my tennis shoes.

He shrugged casually. "You and Lily have the exact same expression when you're annoyed."

I lean forward to check on Lily again, smiling at the way she mouths all the words. To the songs and the movie in general. I knew she didn't need to be checked on Dimitri could easily she her from where he stood with his height and all but I didn't know what to say.

"Hopefully she doesn't have all of my expressions, or she'll be a handful in a few years." I laughed. Dimitri laughed lightly with me, and I bit my lip, looking down. God, I loved this man's laugh. He pulled my chin up with the tip of his index finger.

Oh, lord, don't look into those eyes! He searched my eyes. The expression on his face was soft.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

Where was this coming from? I mean, hadn't we only a few days ago talked about him being basically over me? And I for sure didn't feel beautiful. I was wearing a large old sweater over leggings. I was bare foot and my hair was in a knot on the top of my head. I had no makeup on my face and honestly, I needed a shower as well. Beautiful I was not. He studied my face for quite some time, his thumb brushing over my chin while my cheeks hallowed out with air.

"Thanks," I blurted out.

Dimitri's hand caressed my cheek, thumb still soothing my skin, his eyes glowing to a deeper brown. I had really wished I knew what he was thinking. He glanced at my mouth, my lips parting in that hope of a kiss.

He sighed.

"It's getting late; I don't want to keep you longer than I already have. Plus, Lily needs to be headed to bed."

I blinked. That, was it? I mentally groaned, but didn't protest right now. I mean he just saw you in bed with Adrian, Rose. I mentally chided myself. He's probably a little grossed out by your slutty behavior. Although I wanted to bitch slap the voice in my head, it was probably right.

"Yeah, I'll see you in the morning," I smiled half-heartedly. I kept my eyes down as I moved silently to kiss Lily goodbye and grab my things to leave.

I moved out of his apartment and groaned aloud once I was safely behind his door I had never been left feeling so disappointed.

I hope this chapter explains Roses questionable behavior and I just want you guys to know that Rose and Dimitri's relationship only goes up from here!

If you read it, review it!