I got some comments about my mention of Frozen in the last chapter and I just wanted to say that personally I LOVE frozen, I have it downloaded on my computer and watch it all the time! But I also work with children and the level of obsession with that move is unreal. So I know personally how annoying watching one movie over and over is even if it is the best movie ever! Lol just wanted everyone to know I had nothing personal against frozen the way Rose does!

So this is the chapter that some of ya'll have been begging me for, for oh so long. It is the beginning of telling Lily about her Mommy! YAY!

TURN TO YOU

DIMITRI POV

It was after our morning training a week later that I asked Rose to have lunch with me.

"Sure," She answered me panting. We had just finished running and she was splashing her face with water. I watched as a drop of water ran down her neck and disappeared into her sports bra. What I wouldn't give to disappear in there with it.

Focus.

I had to physically turn myself around to stop my ogling of Rose's body. Ever since being back and forced to train again she was gaining her muscle back and finally stopped looking so skinny. I couldn't help but notice her breasts were fuller and her ass was rounder. I ran behind her today just so I could discretely watch it sway with every step.

Hey, I was a man.

I stripped off my shirt and threw on a clean one, before grabbing my bag and turning around to face Rose again. "Are you not going to put a shirt on?" I asked when I notice her still bare upper body. I needed to have a serious conversation with her and I don't know how much I would be able to focus with a view like that.

"No, I'm hot." She replied simply.

I just rolled my eyes and moved out of the gym walking the short distance to the Dining Hall, making sure to put myself ahead of Rose to keep my head clear.

I didn't even look at the food that was being served today. I would've rather cooked myself but I didn't have time for that. We piled food on our trays, Rose's pile obscenely high for someone her size, and took a seat toward the back so we could have some privacy.

"Okay, I can't take it anymore, what is it you need to tell me?" Rose asked the moment we sat down. There was never a need for icebreakers with Rose around.

"I wanted to talk to you about Lily." Rose smiled at the mention of our daughter. I couldn't help my returning smile.

"What about her?"

I was nervous and I don't know why, I looked down for a moment and instantly regretted it. Even seated I was much taller than Rose and from our positions at the table I could see directly down her sports bra. I tried. I really did, but I was only a man, and I could not help myself when there was a pair of breasts in my face. Especially Rose's breasts. A cough caught my attention, my head snapped up to meet Rose's knowing smirk. Shit, I had been caught.

"I told you to put a shirt on," I grumbled.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. Look Rose," I started trying to move the subject away from my visual molestation of her chest. "This is hard for me."

I saw Rose's confused look so I clarified, "sharing Lily. For so long it was really just she and I. I've been everything to her. I've been the only parent she's known, and I've never had to share her. I see how much Lily loves you already and I even get a little jealous." I admitted embarrassingly. Rose laughed but let me continue. "As much as I miss being the center of my Liliya's world, it just wouldn't be fair of me to deny her a relationship with you. Because, Rose I may be her Dad but, I can't ever be her Mom. That's your role…if you're willing to take it."

"I am," she said without hesitation. "I want nothing more than to be a Mom to Lily, I…just…I don't know how." There's honesty and vulnerability in her admission; a reminder for me that this is something I've taken for granted. I've had four years to learn how to be a father to Lily, and I can't expect her to understand how to be a mother overnight. She's going to need guidance and instruction; and patience, most of all. From me, from herself and from Lily.

"Well," I said. "I think that's something we're going to have to figure out together. The three of us. I think the second step we need to take here is talking to Lily about you, and I think, if you're alright with waiting a bit longer, that's something I need to do alone."

"Wait do you mean like tell Lily I'm her mother?" Rose's eyes went wide with this realization.

"Yes, that is exactly what I mean." Her laugh was filled with joy and I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Then yes! I'm good at waiting. I've waited years, what's a few more days?"

Her words remind me of a question I've wanted the answer to for several weeks now. "When did you…" I trail off, suddenly insecure in my scrutiny.

"When did I what?" she pressed.

"I just…I wondered when you…you know changed your mind. About Lily." The words rush from my mouth, anxious to escape. I've spent years perfecting the act of not caring, and it's suddenly freeing to admit that I did; that I still do.

"About being a Mom, you mean?"

"Yeah."

She clears her throat softly. "The moment I met her. I won't lie though… it took a few years for me to really start regretting my decisions, though I would have never admitted it to myself or anyone else, to wonder what I'd given up. My years in California were…intense. I didn't allow myself much time to think about anything beyond where I was going to party next." Her words are painful, but also expected. I obviously didn't think that she'd spent the past four years abstaining from typical college clichés.

"But the moment I met Lily, even before I knew who she was I started to increasingly regret my decision. I loved her and I didn't even know she was my own. It made me think if I could love this little girl, then maybe I could love my daughter…" She trailed off blink away tears.

As moved as I was by her words I still had one, major stipulation for Rose before we could move forward. "There's no out, once you're in. Lily's life will not include a revolving door mother. If you choose to tell her, there's no turning back." I explained to her. Rose's head was bobbing up and down vigorously.

"I won't leave her ever again," she promised. My heart panged selfishly that she promised not to leave Lily, but made no such promise to me. t's a big decision and an even bigger commitment, and I'd been prepared to give Rose as much time as she needed to come to terms with what it could mean for her future, but she assured me she's had plenty of time to decide and she's not changing her mind. Not now, not ever.

There's no easy way to have a conversation of this magnitude with your four-year-old. I've skimmed library books for topics about separated parents and absentee fathers and mothers, and I've accepted advice from Vasilisa and Christian. But our situation is unique, and there aren't many books of the "how to tell your daughter her mother finally decided to be a mom" variety.

Rose and I had discussed how we'd like the conversation to go, at length. She seemed delighted to be included in the planning, and her enthusiasm made it surprisingly easy to allow her input. Our first time working together as co-parents was, seemingly, a success.

We'd agreed that the less information I dump on Lily, the better. She's too young to understand the details, and her self-worth is the most important factor in all of this. As the time for me to talk with her neared, my fears seemed to grow stronger. I worry that she'll realize she was unwanted, even temporarily, and that she'll feel the first pangs of an abandonment that she didn't even realize she was a part of.

As is the case with most things in parenting, no amount of over-analyzing and extensive planning can prepare you for a child's questions. It may have been for the best, in fact, that our conversation happened organically the next Saturday, without much fanfare at all.

"Kady's Mom broke her leg," Lily announced, out of the blue. We were side by side at the kitchen table, coloring, her idea not mine. Rose was planning on babysitting again later in the afternoon leaving Lily and me to fall into a quieter, calmer time of togetherness in her absence.

"That's awful," I said, as I carefully colored in a puppy's face with purple, again as requested by Lily. "How'd she hurt her leg?" I asked even though I knew already. Kady's mother was a Guardian here on campus and had an accident in one of the senior combat classes.

Her tongue peeked from the corner of her lips as she concentrated on staying perfectly within the lines of her coloring book. She was a little OCD and hated to make mistakes. Every time she went out of the lines I saw her nose wrinkle in annoyance. "I don't know," she shrugged.

"Well that's too bad," I replied. "I hope she's okay soon."

"Kady has a brother." She announced randomly. Her brother is funny. He never wears pants!" She covered her mouth to giggle, and I placed my hand against her stomach keeping her from almost slipping out of her chair. She regained her balance, and I returned my attention, once again, to coloring my purple puppy.

"I want a brother," she announced.

If she noticed that my crayon deviated from the picture and made a long dark purple line across the dogs' face, she didn't mention it. "A brother, hmm," I acknowledged, allowing her to carry the conversation.

Her tiny fingers picked up another crayon as she shook her hair from her face. "Yeah. Just like Kady, except I want my brother to wear pants, and I want my brother to be a girl." I lifted my shoulder to hide my smile; she hated being laughed at.

"You mean a sister." I corrected her, she nodded her head vigorously.

"Well?" she pressed. "Can I have one Daddy?"

"One what?"

She wrinkled her nose. "A sister!"

"Hand me a blue crayon will you Lily?" I pointed to the one I meant, in an attempt at buying myself an extra moment of time.

Once I had the crayon we went back to our coloring. "A baby sister would need a mommy and a daddy," I told her gently.

"Nu-ah," she argued. "I don't have a Mommy and I used to be a baby." Her words implied that she's far beyond babyhood, and my heart tugged a little at the reminder.

I put my crayon down smoothly and turned to face her. My hands smoothed her hair back from her face, and her innocent brown eyes pinned me down, awaiting my explanation. "You do have a Mommy, Princessa," I smiled at her to show her that I was okay. She was okay. We are okay. "All children have a mommy and a daddy. It's just…sometimes, they can't be there."

She grabbed the dishtowel sitting on the table and began twisting it in her hands. I recognized the gesture as her way of processing what I'd said and busied myself with my coloring again, allowing her as much unscrutinized time as she needed.

"Why can't they be there?" she asked finally. Her voice was strong and clear, and for that, I was grateful. While she was obviously giving our conversation plenty of thought, possibly even comparing it to her own situation, she didn't appear to be upset about anything I'd said.

"Well," I said, turning my attention back to my sweet girl. "Sometimes they might get sick and die, like your gold fish. Or sometimes they might have to go away for work."

"Like Kady's Uncle? He's a Guardian like you Daddy, but he doesn't get to stay here."

I smiled at her softly. "Exactly."

"Did my Mommy die?" she asked, quietly. I knew where this line of questioning would take us, and being prepared didn't make the actuality of it any easier.

Bending over, I gathered her up and sat her on the table so that we could be eye to eye. I wanted her to know she had my complete attention. "No," I answered her, I could have lied and said her mother was in fact guarding someone else far away but I didn't want to lie to her and have her figure it out in the future and have my lie hurt her even worse than the truth would have. "She didn't die. And she didn't go to be a guardian somewhere far away. Sometimes, mommies or daddies might feel like they don't know how to be good to their babies. Sometimes they might be too young to know how to take care of them."

She played with the towel some more and I gave her time to process all of this. "Did my Mommy know how to take care of me?" she asked.

"She didn't." I told her, placing my hands on top of hers. "Your Mommy was so young when she heard that you were going to be born. She wasn't sure if she could be a good mommy to you, and that scared her." I tapped her tiny, upturned nose. "But do you know what?"

She giggled and swatted at my hand. "What?"

"The very first time I saw your face, do you remember what I said?"

Her giggles turned to full-blown laughter, but still, she played my game. "What?"

"I said, "Oh what a beautiful little girl, I wish she was mine.""

"I am yours!" she squealed, as though we hadn't done this a million times.

"Oh yeah!" I pretended to remember. "You are mine!" Tickling her sides, I lifted her from the table and tucked her small body into mine. "And do you know what else?" I whispered against her head.

"What?" she replied, her little voice muffled from its place in the crook of my neck.

"I will never, ever stop loving you."

"I love you too, Daddy."

"So, what'll it be this afternoon? Cheese or pepperoni?" I ask changing the subject smoothly.

Her little face screwed up in disgust. "Cheese only! I'm a vegenarian, remember?"

I fought to control my smile and set her back on her chair. "Oh, a vegetarian," I pronounced the word correctly for her, "right. That hotdog you had yesterday made me wonder if you'd changed your mind."

"It's one of my exceptions," she says seriously. "I allow myself five."

"I see," I say, the picture of complete seriousness. "Why don't you finish coloring and Daddy will make you dinner?" I suggested moving into the kitchen.

We busied ourselves with pizza making and coloring for a bit, and when the pizza was in the oven and I had washed my hands I moved to sit by Lily again. "Hey, Princessa?" I said getting her attention "Are there any questions you'd like to ask me? About your Mommy?"

She had a thoughtful expression on her faced as she colored, trying to decide what she should ask. "Where is she?" she asked suddenly, a question so broad in its directness that it momentarily took me aback.

"She's here, actually," I told her, and then quickly adjusted my statement. "She lives here, like us."

Her little eyes went wide with surprise. "Is she still too young?"

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "She's not. She's all grown up now." I bent down to her level, and held her little hands in mine. "She'd like to meet you, Princessa. What do you think about that?"

She shrugged her shoulders and went back to coloring "Sure," she said, already preoccupied. "Is Roza coming over? Her abrupt change of topic was typical, leaving me pleasantly surprised that I had managed to get as far with her as I had.

"Yes Liliya she is." She gave me a quick nod before completely focusing on her coloring again.

We were sitting across from each other at the kitchen table. Rose had come right as Lily went down for her nap which left us with a few hours to kill, the perfect opportunity for me to finally fill Rose in on today's conversation with Lily. Rose blew out a breath as soon as my run-through came to a close. "Whew," she said softly, and it occurred to me that she was nervous. "Was that…good? Her reaction?

"I think so," I shrugged, grabbing another piece of pizza. It wasn't too good, it was from a box but it was Liliya's favorite meal. "She didn't seem too upset, but she also didn't seem…obsessed, which is a good thing, I think."

She frowned. "So what's next?"

"We'll give her some time," I said. "To see if she brings it up again. If she doesn't, and everything seems okay, then we can tell her who you are." I paused, pizza halfway to my mouth. "If that's what you want, I mean."

"It is," she said simply. "I can't wait to tell her."

I return my eyes to the pizza between us, half of which Rose had already eaten. Alone. "What are you eating your pizza with?" I asked as I saw rose dip her pizza into a thick white sauce.

Rose shrugged her shoulders. "Ranch."

I snorted. "You're kidding."

"It's good, try some." She extended her slice out to me and I shook my head.

"No way," I chuckled.

"Oh come on, try new things," she scoffed, pointing to the small bowl of white between us. "Come on. Try it."

Her hand extended half way to my mouth before I even had a chance to think about the level of intimacy that feeding another person entails. My eyebrows shoot up as the ranch-laden slice nears my lips. Embarrassed, I quickly take a bite and Rose retreats to her side of the table. "There," She gestured toward the bowl again. "See? It's good."

My brows pull together in distaste as I chew with unnaturally exaggerated force. "'S mwful," I mumbled, mouth still full. Finally, I force the slice down with an audible gulp and reached for the water I have sitting near my plate.

"That bad, huh?" She laughed.

I nod my head and laugh with Rose then smile at her silliness. It's so rare lately—and fun—to see her laid back and smiling. After all that we've been through it's nice to get back to our normal selves. To get past all the awkwardness between us.

After leaving Lily with Rose, I go to my last-minute shift. My walk there passes by in a hazy blur. My body drives itself mindlessly, while my brain picks apart my conversation with Lily, about her Mommy. Despite my body and my mind, my heart flutters on, hope and history giving it an extra beat on occasion.

I learned to deal with hardships at an early age. Even before Lily, I was mature beyond that of my peers, but I hadn't known true commitment until Lily was born. Life handed me a bundle that I wasn't prepared for and I did the only thing I knew how to do. I faced it head-on and gave it my all.

These days, my hardships looked like an older, more mature Rosemarie Hathaway, and despite my heart still wearing the battle scars from the last time it opened up and let her in, I'm ready once again to face it head-on and give it my all. Only time will tell what this means—for me, for her, for us—but I know friendship, and eventually, co-parenting, sounded like a pretty great start.

The thing about being a Dad, though, is that you'd rather die than watch your child suffer. There is literally nothing I won't do to protect my little girl. And so, I'm torn. Equal parts relieved about finally letting Lily in on the secret she didn't even know I had been keeping. Also, conversely, terrified to my very core that Rose may hurt her or expose the secrets of her accidental anomaly of a creation that will make her feel unwanted, unloved, or unnatural. Because, admittedly, she was unexpected, but she was never unwanted or unloved.

Soooo? What did you guys think of Lily's reaction? Are you excited to see how she will react to finding out Roza is her Mommy? And are you ready for even more Rose and Dimitri love? Because I think I am!

If you read it, review it!