Dick Wolf owns the characters of Law & Order: SVU. I own my story.

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That afternoon in Paris at Julia's, she had just answered the video call.

"Hey, Tess" She said as she sat at the kitchen counter with her pump attached to one breast while she held Chloe who drank from the other.

"Have you seen the news?"

"I'm currently pumping while my daughter is feeding from me and it's been that way all day" she made a silly face at Chloe, who smiled and Julia lost it, so happy. "Are you smiling at mama?!"

Tess was unamused to say the least. It's not that she didn't like children, but...well, she just really didn't like children and had no time for Julia being lost in mommyland. Meanwhile, Julia was fawning and cooing over her beautiful little girl.

"Hey, Jules, I'm up here…" she said, snapping her fingers to get Julia's attention. Julia laughed as she looked up from her daughter and at Tess.

"You know, the old me would have fired you for that, just so you know" Julia half-joked. All too many times, Thomas had snapped his fingers at her to make her jump to his demands, and when she didn't do it fast enough...

"Well, I guess I have to thank miss Chloe for job security." She grinned." But seriously, Julia…"

"You're scaring me, what is it?"

"Not what; who? And its David Haden. Julia he's in a coma."

The first time they were allotted a weekend together, they flew down to Miami to be alone. Down on south beach after they dined and danced one night, Nick couldn't keep his hands off her, nor she him. And before they knew it, they were out on the beach, just the two of them in the sand, away from any eyes that may be prying. Olivia sat astride on Nick's lap, facing him as they kissed wildly, Nick catching her lips between his and sucking.

"You are so damn beautiful!" He whispered to her as he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her neck sensually.

"Tell me again"

"eres tan…" He said as he looked in her eyes. "maldito…" a kiss to her lips, "¡hermoso!" He said as he got inside her and she drew her breath while moaning.

"Oh God...don't move baby!" She began grinding her hips against him while she cried out. She was so filled...

Four thirty in the afternoon and she had just woken up with a start from a deep sleep, disoriented, her eyes crazily looking around the darkened room to see just where she was before she she sighed, realizing that she was in her own bed.

Now, getting her bearings, she ran her hand through her hair while she rubbed her large swell with the other. The baby was kicking exceptionally hard. Still very sleepy and looking it every bit, she glanced down at her belly.

"I'm scared for daddy too." She whispered as she thought about David. He was still there in that hospital bed. Still so still. Less than 24 hours ago, he had been so vital, so strong. Would he be that way again? She wondered.

"Hey, I told you mami, stop worrying…" the voice came so softly as the lamp came on and a strong, naked arm crept around her middle.

"Of course you're right, but I can't help it" She said as she turned her head to face him, lying there without a shirt, under the covers with her.

"I know you're scared, but David will fine."

"You think so?" She always felt so at peace with Nick. That, plus the way he was rubbing her belly, the baby had stopped kicking finally and settled down.

"You always were so good at that"

"I know another thing I'm even better at!" He said with a knowing smile as his hand that was on her belly, traveled slowly beneath the covers and found it's way between her parted thighs. "My God, you're so wet already!" He kissed her lips as he pushed his fingers in, causing her to gasp. "Is that what this pussy needs, some attention?" He whispered against her lips.

She moaned, long deep and sensual. This man made her body sing whenever he touched her and right now, she was singing! She opened her legs wider, drawing them back to give him more room… "baby!" She whispered and sucked in her breath as Nick's fingers went deeper, and her legs began to shake. "OH GOD!"

"So that's it, you're just gonna pretend that I'm not here?" Another voice came from her right- David's voice. Immediately, she and Nick stopped, both of them scared to even move. His just drawn out finger dripping with her arousal. They couldn't speak. And just as she turned to look she woke up. This time for real.

Breathing heavily, she immediately turned on her bedside lamp as she pulled herself into a sitting position.

Her dream felt so real. She thought as she felt her son kicking as she put a hand through her hair...again and she quickly took it back.

Why was she having this dream now? David certainly didn't know about she and Nick- did he?

"No… I would've known if he'd known." She said to herself, not putting any serious thought into it. She knew exactly why she was having the dream. Unresolved feelings. She loved David and yet she loved Nick. She didn't think it was possible to be in love with two men, but here it was; her reality. Even though her reality had cost her dearly, she was reminded as she looked at the photo on the nightstand of David and their girls. When she thinks of how she came so close to losing them...

She knew yesterday, when she was on her way to Nick's that she was having valid thoughts of maybe not jumping into leaving just yet.

"What are you thinking? Hell, what are you doing?" She asked herself in her head. She figured that once everything was out in the open, once she would tell David, that everything would be fine, except, now she wondered if it was what she needed to be doing. There were still feelings there that she hadn't considered; her babies- yes, kids are resilient, but did she need to put them through something like this so suddenly? It's not as if she had been preparing them for this day. They had never known about her and Nick; even long before David and she were together. Just when they were ready to tell their girls about their plans for a life together, everything fell apart! Now, as she sat in the back of this cab, thinking about the last few months (she had only decided that she would leave David for Nick, six weeks ago); she was thankful that she had that time with Nick because she probably would have lost her mind if she hadn't. But this morning, things looked clearer, mainly things with her girls.

"...we don't want to go back to you guys living apart. We like all of us together!"

How could she tear that away from them?

Suddenly, the door to her room opened and the twins walked in, Sophia carrying a bottle of juice.

"Mommy?" Aria called.

"Hey, babies!" Olivia smiled, though smiling was the furthest thing from her mind.

The girls' nanny had come, thankfully and kept the girls busy so that Olivia could get some rest, an order that Fin gave to her when he showed up to the hospital this morning to find her sleeping in the chair at David's bedside.

She hated to admit it, but he was right; she was more tired than she knew and after a long, hot shower where she washed the memory of Nick off her skin, she settled in for a nap while the girls were downstairs with the Nanny. The first thing she did was to text Fin to get an update on David and was relieved when he texted her back saying that he was holding steady.

"We brought you some juice." Sophia said.

"...apple" Aria kicked in.

"I see!" Olivia said as she reached out to take the juice and twisted the cap off, taking a sip before sitting it down on the nightstand and hugging both her daughters. "Thank you, girls"

"You welcome" the said in happy unison, then Sophia asking:

"Mommy...is daddy going to be okay?"

"Come here, both of you. Sit down… so you know how I said a long time ago that I'd be honest with you guys if you ever needed to know something? Well, the truth is, I don't know. But the doctors are doing everything they can to keep him strong and here with us,"

The twins got quiet for a moment. "it was scary" Aria said as she leaned against Olivia's belly."

"I know honey. And I'm so sorry that I wasn't there when you guys needed me" she kissed the top of Aria's head and Sophia asked:

"Momma, is the man that hit us going to jail?"

"For a very long time if I can help it." Just then, her phone began vibrating and she picked it up from the nightstand. When she saw that it was Nick, she froze and sat for a moment staring at the phone until the girls brought her back to reality.

"Mommy?"

"I'm sorry!" She apologized as she hit the decline button on her screen. "How about I go pee, and then we make a recording for daddy? I bet it'd do him really good to hear your voices…"

Maybe she was right in her thoughts yesterday; no matter how much it may hurt Nick- or her.

Over at Nick's precinct…

"Hi, it's Olivia. Sorry I can't take your call right now, but please leave a message after the beep."

"Liv, hi. I was just calling to see if you guys are okay, and if there's anything I can do… Anyway, I um, " He wanted to say that he loves her. That he's sorry for what happened to David but they've come through too much, but he knew that right now, she didn't need to hear those words and so he just said, "...I guess now is a bad time so I won't keep you."

"There you are. Amaro, captain wants your input on a case" Detective Samms said as he popped his head into the locker room.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute" Nick said as Samms nodded.

"Hey, you alright? You seem off. Anything I can help with?"

"No. And thanks man, but I'm fine" he lied.

"You sure? Cuz we got guns, we can go make trouble for whoever's it is, I'm just saying" Samms joked and Nick couldn't help it, laughing.

"You're an ass, you know that? come on, you know cap hates to wait." He said as they walked out of the locker room.

"We love you." The twins said, then silence before Aria got one last thing in before stopping the recording.

"Daddy, please wake up..."

Olivia cried as she played the twins' message for David. She thought it was tough hearing it when they'd recorded it, but now, here with David listening to it; listening to those little voices try to be strong...it overwhelmed her once again and by the time the recording was finished, she sat at his bedside in tears.

Now, she looked for any sign that he'd wake up, but so far nothing as she watched him lying there so still, with so many tubes coming out him at every direction and hooked up to so many machines. Their repetitive beeping filling the deadening silence of the unit.

There was a machine that breathed for him because he couldn't do it on his own. A machine that monitored his heart, one for his brain, blood pressure...

"We have a baby coming soon David; don't you dare give up on us!" She said as she held his hand.

He was so cold, almost like he wasn't in this life. But she knew that he was with her; with them. She felt his presence and as long as she did, it gave her hope. Even when she looked over him and saw this shell of a man.

When she thought about yesterday and how she practically rushed him out of the house, being so focused on getting away from him to be with Nick.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, her eyes heavy with tears. "I should have come to you, I should have let you hold me, let you comfort me when we lost Logan, but I was so wrapped up in my own pain and what I was going through… I shut you out when you just wanted to be there for me and I will never forgive myself for that. I've done nothing but think since this all happened; I will give this one hundred and ten percent if you'll just come back! You've never once given up on us and our girls and I need that from you now, I need for you to come back to them...come back to me!" She cried.

"I can't help but feel like she blames me" Nick said as he and Fin sat in a diner having a somewhat-late dinner of burgers and fries.

"I hate that I know this. I hate that the two of you made me know this! And she doesn't just blame you, she blames herself...I mean, what the hell were the two of you thinking?"

"We were thinking that we love each other"

"Don't gimme that. If you really loved Liv, you wouldn't have put her in that predicament in the first place. She just lost a baby, and I know what an emotional wreck she's been, even when she tried to keep it in. Not that that makes it any better in her part."

"Look, I admit alright, I couldn't see past what I wanted, but I'm starting to see the bigger picture and Liv can't handle this guilt"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, I'm letting go. David has to live through this. The girls need their dad and so does this baby and I'm ready to give Liv up; I told God I would if he lets him be okay"

"And you think you can stick with that?"

"She's my whole world world, Fin. But I love her too much not to. I can be happy being just a friend as long as I'm in her life." He said as he took a long sip of the ice water he'd been drinking.

"You're in Australia, Alex is working a huge trial in California and Amanda…"

"What can I do, Liv?" Elliot asked as they talked over the phone. He felt terrible that he was so far away from home when she needed him so much.

"You could get on a plane…" She said, halfway serious with tears in her voice, but she knew the seriousness of this trip.

"If I could… Hey, how are the girls?"

"They're with Gina but they're not doing too good; they're scared and they want me to be with them but I need to be here… They just want their daddy to be okay and I can't promise them that…"

"Liv, please don't cry" He'd heard her tears burst and he felt horrible that he couldn't do anything to comfort her.

Wiping her eyes as the tears continued to flow… "I should go, I've gotta get back to David. El, thank you for calling, I really needed to hear your voice."

"Stay strong."

"I'm trying." She wasn't off the phone two seconds when she heard it. An alarm from one of the rooms telling the doctors that they needed to get there, NOW!

For just the briefest moment, she froze before something told her, pushed her to move and she began running all while her head screamed "no. Not David. Not David, not Davi…" but when she turned the corner, it was like something out of a movie. Doctors and nurses in his room, all trying desperately to save David's life! And that same force that pushed her to move, kept pushing until she was fighting to get in the room.

"David?"

"Mrs. Haden, we need you outside" A nurse told her as she blocked her path. Olivia lost it when she saw his bare chest and the doctors cutting into his side to get a tube in to drain the blood that was filling up rapidly in his chest.

"Call the OR…"

"NO! DAVID PLEASE!"

"We're losing him!" She heard someone say as the nurse got her out in the hall and she stood, against the wall outside just watching with tears running down her face.

TBC...in the meantime, a review would be great.