"I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river; to me you're everything that exists, the reality of everything." - Virginia Woolf
He had to look away from Padme's small sobbing form, it made him feel weak and out of control. Like he was going to get on the floor beside her.
Vader walked instead to the window, to the expanse of star-studded black that stretched before him. She would come to realize the importance of what they were doing, who their child would be. She still loved him, he could feel it in the force no matter how much she pushed it away or tried to conceal it. Maybe she didn't care for him the same, or was upset by what he'd had to do to further the Empire, but the love was there. And he knew it was strong, not something to be doused and ignored. His own was, so strong it almost scared him. The Emperor had been relentless in his questioning, his extra training.
Vader was not to allow Padme to become a weakness, but rather a tool. To wield their relationship and their love as a weapon, something productive for the Empire.
But hearing her sobs continue behind him, he was afraid of the line he was walking. Could he love her without allowing the vulnerability to weaken his power? This, he knew, was The Emperor's test.
He would. He had to.
Padme awoke with sore wrists. She was handcuffed to the bed frame.
"What…" She blinked sleep away, finding Vader coming out of what she assumed was the bathing chamber moments later, fully dressed.
He made a face. "I told that droid to loosen those."
"Why am I handcuffed?" She didn't even remember falling asleep, or getting into bed. Her last memory was… drinking a glass of water. "Did you drug me?"
"You were hysterical and exhausted. It was a sleeping tonic."
"Uncuff me. Now."
Vader waved his hand and there was a click at each of her wrists. "I can't yet trust you to sleep beside me peacefully."
Padme rubbed where her skin was red, rage threatening to spill out. "I won't be chained up like a dog."
"You can sleep uncuffed when you earn my trust."
"Earn your trust? As a prisoner?"
Vader rolled his eyes. "You're not a prisoner, you're my wife."
Padme scoffed, and reached back to jingle the handcuffs. "Thanks for the pretty bracelets, but they fucking suck." She moved to sit at the edge of the bed, lowering her voice. "Don't ever drug me again."
Vader smirked, and got so close that she had to look up at him. He pushed her hair away from her face. "There's the Padme I know and love." He left a hand in her hair, and when she yanked back, his other hand grabbed the back of her head. "Play nice."
They held eye contact for a moment before he dropped his grip on her. Padme considered spitting on him. "You need to get dressed, it's already seven pm, and we have to be somewhere soon."
She stood at that. Seven, at night? She'd slept through most of the day with that damned sleeping tonic. "What? What're we doing?"
"You're coming with me to talk to Lord Sidious."
"About what?" She asked flatly.
Vader tilted his head like her question was obvious. "How you're so happy to be reunited with your husband and are enthusiastic about procreating for the Empire."
Padme thought maybe she was going a little crazy, because she almost laughed. "Yeah, no." She plopped down back into the bed. "I'm not going anywhere near that manipulative, narcissistic asshole. I get enough of all that with you." She stretched out dramatically. "Think I'll have a day in. Do you get cable in here?"
Vader didn't smile, but he did watch her. "Did that sleeping tonic erase your memory?"
Padme said nothing, but watched as he walked slowly to his desk and clicked the hologram on. Her family glitched onto the blue light, and she checked Vader's face. She couldn't read him, couldn't call his bluff. Could she risk their wellbeing, their safety? Could he? Would it be death, or torture?
On the blue hologram, her mom was crying on her dad's shoulder. Had her little nieces always been so thin?
"Remember our guests?"
Padme wanted to scream when he said guests.
"Three days, Padme." He cocked his head, clicking his tongue. "Your antics aren't as cute anymore. You're wasting time. I would think you'd be begging to convince The Emperor of your undying love for me."
He held her gaze, challenging her. Padme's plan would have to change now, drastically. She'd have to not only survive long enough for Luke and Leia, but to get her family out safe, all five of them.
Padme rubbed at her still sleep-swollen face, walking to the window to stare into the glittering black. It felt like the only bit of freedom she had left, the freedom of endless possibility. But not of choice - She had to go. For a million reasons she could name, but mostly because of the gut feeling that she needed to do this. "When do we leave?"
"Now. There's droids to help you dress."
Fifteen minutes later, fully dressed and primped, she clicked out into an empty bedroom.
Vader came up behind her, and she resisted startling. He gripped around her upper arms, and brought his lips close to her ear. "You're stunning."
Padme knew she was wrapped tightly in red fabric and that her shoes hurt her feet and that was all.
"Don't believe me?" He waved two fingers before them. A three-paneled mirror folded out from the wall, and she almost gasped.
She was indeed wrapped in a gaudy red gown, but her hair was also intricately braided back, studded with rubies, black lines swept across her eyelids. Padme hadn't gotten dressed like this since before the Republic had fallen. When there was something left to fight for.
If she ignored the horrible circumstances, she could almost trick her brain into believing they were in her apartment on Coruscant, Anakin standing behind her before she left to a council session.
But, the memory was soured by reality. This gown wasn't to reflect Naboo culture and tradition, it was to be a moving target. Bright, Sith red. She would stand out anywhere.
And she didn't recognize the man behind her as Anakin, either.
He stood at least a head taller than her, even with her heels, in full black; a dark Jedi, a Sith Lord incarnate. Fully Vader. His golden gaze was so piercing and off-kilter from his normal blue, her heart seemed to clang painfully in her chest.
"There will be no sneaking away, hiding, or escape plans, do you understand?" Vader spoke from behind her, his grip on her upper arms tightening.
"And what do we tell Palpatine?"
He didn't correct her, and she felt smug with the small win. "The truth."
"That he's a sadistic coward?"
He spun her to face him, putting his hands on her arms again. "He's a great leader, Padme. Don't be stupid." His anger was so sudden now, so flashing, then, gone in a blink. He lifted his chin. "It is him and I who are finally bringing order to the galaxy, how it should've been done a long time ago. So I don't want to hear any of your insults or old democratic opinions." She tried to speak but he cut her off. "We tried it your way. Look where it got us. The galaxy is in shambles and The Emperor and I are here to repair and build it back up stronger than ever. It's a huge responsibility, and a huge honor. You're lucky to be even this close to it."
Survive long enough to get herself and her family out. Then, find Luke and Leia. "I understand."
If Padme hadn't spent so long studying Anakin's face, she might've missed Vader's glimmer of surprise. He tilted his head slightly, studying her. "You do look very beautiful."
Padme looked down at herself, he dress was striking, in a harsh way. Although her breasts were pushed too far up and against her chest, and the color didn't suit her at all, it made her look pale and sickly. Like it even mattered. Her eyes flashed to the desk but the hologram was now off.
He tilted her chin up with two fingers. "Are you afraid?"
"For myself, no."
"For your family, then?"
When Padme didn't reply, Vader sighed, and the sound was so familiar, so close to Anakin that her eyes burned just to hear it. "It's still me, Padme. I didn't want to have to bring them here, but it is my final effort in keeping you safe, and alive." Vader pulled her to him so that they were pressed together at the waist. He lowered his voice to what Padme figured was his attempt at being reassuring - "I'm trying to protect you. Just, try to see it my way. Listen to what The Emperor says today. I think you'll have a change of heart."
Translation: He wanted her to come to him willingly. To come to his bed willingly.
It made her sick that the idea was not completely repulsive, despite everything. Who was she becoming? Had she lost all sense of right and wrong? Realizing Vader was waiting for an actual reply, Padme just nodded. She could play the part of broken, grieving wife, for now. It wasn't too far fetched.
He heaved another sigh at her response.
Padme swept her eyes down and back up, taking him in. Vader was dressed in black head to toe, save for the silver of the new saber on his belt. He was so different, but still so much the same. She remembered the feeling of wrapping into a hug around his torso every time he returned from a battle, the smell of him enveloping her, the rush of joy. It was so far away, yet right in front of her.
"Look at me." His eyes flashed to the door then back to her face.
His gaze fiercely gold, pinned her, his voice dropping an octave. "Stay close to me. Answer his questions directly, no stalling or games. Kneel, low. Twice, once when we approach and once as we leave." He let her take that in then continued. "Do exactly as he says. Do exactly as I say. There are powers at play that you have no idea about. His handle on the force is… beyond what you can comprehend." He took her hand in his, making toward the door. "Whatever he asks… it is more dangerous for you to deny him. Trust me."
He said the last bit so earnestly, quietly. Padme nodded again, wondering what Palpatine had put Vader through these past months, what he'd endured. She'd spent so much time considering her own problems, she hadn't really thought of his.
Before she could think too far on the topic, her considerations were replaced with an undeniable, primal fear, as Vader placed her hand on his arm, and guided her to The Emperor's throne room.
Senator Palpatine was not at all how Padme remembered him to be. What had happened? His skin hung, drooped from his face, and had grayed deeply. His hands were clutching the arms of his throne, the air was oppressive in his presence, like anything light and airy was sucked out and turned to dust.
Every step closer brought his rotted, yellow gaze into harsher clarity. Padme thought she'd feel the fear from earlier clutching at her throat, but instead rage ignited at the sight of him. This was the man that manipulated her husband, twisted his mind until it was putty to be shaped at will.
Something brushed the side of her leg, and she was drawn from her angry reverie. Padme looked down to Vader, already kneeling, his head low.
As she was supposed to be.
Before Padme took another breath, her knees slammed into the hard floor, forehead pressing against the cold metal a heartbeat later. She breathed out harshly, unable to move, to twitch a finger. Her neck was bent at an awkward angle, knees barking in pain.
Footsteps sounded before her until Padme felt a presence only feet away.
"This is no longer the Republic, Senator Amidala."
Vader was tense beside her, still frozen in a kneel. She wondered if he was held as she was, or doing it out of sheer loyalty. Considering the ladder made her pity him.
Padme knew she couldn't speak even if she tried. A chuckle sounded, then. "Rise, my apprentice."
A beat.
Padme heard a slight shuffle and Vader rose. She was still pinned to the ground, the force smothering her with it's power.
"I see you've finally brought me our guest."
"We've been anticipating the reunion, Master." Did Vader sound… unsteady?
"I sense no life force within her."
"Not yet, but we are persistent." Padme tried not to let the confusion of Vader's reply shoot through her so blatantly.
"Clearly, not persistent enough. Does Senator Amidala lack the proper… encouragement?"
"She is happy to know her family is safe, in the care of the Empire."
"Good." Padme felt his eyes boring into the back of her head as he drew out the sound of the single word, her neck aching. Then, the sudden release of pressure. "Let's hear it from her own lips. Rise, Senator."
Senator, senator, senator. He was mocking her, spitting on her life's work, her old dreams. She wouldn't give him an inch.
Padme stood, on shaky legs, and she half expected Vader to reach a hand out and steady her. But he didn't.
Palpatine, Sidious as Vader had referred to him, was standing far closer than she anticipated, his hands clasped together before him nearly disappeared beneath his heavy robe.
Padme raised her chin, even as she felt crippled beneath the power of his stare, his full attention. "Senator Palpatine."
He gave her a serpentine smile, like he expected this insult. Like she wasn't clever to risk saying it, but instead predictable and boring. "It's Lord Sidious, actually." Padme could've sworn she felt the ghost of a hand at her throat when he spoke, but it was gone in a blink. She prayed it was pure imagination. "I'm so very happy you've joined our cause, Senator. How is your dear family?"
Padme swallowed. "I was pleased to see them."
"I'm sure you were very… grateful to Lord Vader for the opportunity." His gaze dropped, and bore into her lower abdomen, like he was trying to see through her there. Padme crossed her arms. "But the question still remains… why has no life force been created?" His words hung in the air in-between them for an uncomfortable amount of time.
Vader took a side-step toward her, putting an arm over Padme's bare shoulders. "Not for lack of trying, Master. I believe we just need more time."
Palpatine's sagging mouth twitched like he would laugh, but instead he frowned deeply, voice sharpening. "I'm not facilitating a young lovers' honeymoon. This is an Empirical matter, a duty. I only need results. And I'm sure you've relayed to our clever Senator that in three days time, our cell block will be too full." His eyes cut to her. "We'll be forced to unload some precious cargo."
Padme thought about clawing his yellow eyes out, but she stood beneath Vader's heavy arm, simply trembling with rage. "Yes, Master," was all Vader replied.
"Senator?" He baited, his voice drawing an air of faux innocence. "You seem angry. Tense."
Padme decided she couldn't say anything without it being a yell or a threat or a screeching curse. So she shook her head once, twice, and downcast her eyes like the cowardice she was now claiming. Her knees still ached from where they had slammed down minutes before, and she hated to admit she was a bit afraid he would press her beneath the force again.
Palpatine tilted his head, a serpent, a predator. "Perhaps that is why life cannot be created. An unwilling, stubborn half. The force needs free flowing will, a vessel of sorts. Thankfully, I have a solution for that."
Padme stilled, but her eyes remained downcast. A solution? What was worse than the threat of her entire family dead in a matter of days? That alone had her on the brink of destruction. What other cards could they play?
Vader shifted his weight beside her. He didn't know of whatever new development this was, either. She didn't know if that was a good thing or not.
Palpatine snapped his fingers and a droid buzzed over, holding out a vial on an ornate cushion. If Padme was less afraid, she would have rolled her eyes at the dramatics.
"Lord Vader, recall that sleeping tonic I provided for you? To help the young Senator unwind?" The black out sleep from last night.
"Yes." He sounded unsure, hesitant, which she hadn't heard since she arrived. Maybe he was as afraid of the next words from Palpatine as she was. His arm was still around her, and she begrudgingly accepted it as a shield, a slight comfort in the face of pure evil.
"A similar concoction, all the way from Corellia." He held the vial up to the light, its amber liquid glowing. "Releases the natural pheromones, the imbedded…romantic memories that might be locked up or suppressed by an individual." His eyes flicked to Padme and back. "Which, appear to be needed in creating a life force worthy of holding your immense power, Lord Vader."
"We- " began Vader, then he stumbled over his words, backtracking. "I… don't believe that would be necessary. It's only a matter of time before - "
Palpatine's gray, bony hand went up and Vader abruptly stopped speaking. Padme's heart quickened, was he choking him? She didn't feel the arm around her tense, or his breathing stop. But her own almost did when Palpatine handed her the vial, a small smile on his drooping face, with one simple command - "Drink."
Now Vader was looking at her as well.
She met his eyes but couldn't read them. Was he as afraid as she was? Did he truly have no idea Palpatine had planned this encounter? She wished it was Anakin's steady blue gaze that met hers, his comforting arm around her shoulders.
Wishing Anakin was here was not productive. The vial in her hand, Padme settled her thoughts long enough to consider her realistic options: Shatter the glass vial on the floor, and face the wrath of the two Sith Lords that were standing before her. If she was lucky, maybe only Sidious would attack. But her family… The second option: drain the vial, and be inevitably overcome with some kind of animalistic need, and….
Padme swallowed. She couldn't bear to finish the thought. Both Sith Lord's stared at her, and she felt in that moment as if her world was tilting on its axis, teetering on an edge of no return.
She thought of her family in the cells, their fear. She thought of Luke and Leia, their sweet faces and blushed cheeks. Padme wouldn't risk either. Not the safety of her family, or the location of her babies.
So she did what she could control, tipped her head back, and drank the vial until it emptied.
Vader knew two things: He knew that Lord Sidious had planned to do this from the start, introduce this new tonic at a time where neither could deny him.
And secondly, more importantly, Vader knew that he had to get Padme away from him before he could present any more surprises.
In the few seconds between Lord Sidious handing Padme the vial and her finally putting it to her lips and tipping it back, Vader feared what she might do. Her eyes were terrified, her hand trembling. Still, he wasn't convinced her fire had completely gone out, her spite and anger. She had not yet fully given herself to the Empire and its cause, as he had. Maybe she had partially, but in her own way she still resisted. In fact, he was sure she did. He expected nothing less of the woman he married, to stand by her convictions. But, he had been afraid of the punishment that would imminently and swiftly follow, had she done anything beyond drink the tonic in that moment.
He was thankful she decided to drink for that reason alone, until she fell, fainting, seconds after draining the vial.
Vader caught her midair, looking to Sidious. "Oh, shame." He said casually. "Her frame is quite small. Perhaps it was too heavy of a dose."
Vader put a hand to her throat, her heart still beat. "Is she alright?"
Sidious scoffed. "As fine as she needs to be to get the job done." He flicked his head up. "Go, then. I don't want to see her again until there is a powerful force child growing in her womb." He turned his back, steadily ascending back to his throne.
Vader lifted Padme in his arms and headed quickly back to his chambers.
Once alone inside, he lay her carefully on his bed, her crimson dress spilling around her like a pool of blood. He checked her heart rate again, and it seemed low now, barely pumping.
Despite her weak heart beat, her face was flushed. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching her. Her hair hadn't moved from its braids, her lips full and slightly parted. Her breasts were wrapped so tightly it looked almost painful, and they nearly spilt from her dress in the way she lay.
His eyes flicked back up to her soft face, and she stirred, only slightly, her own eyes dashing beneath the lightly dusked lids. A murmur fell from her lips, and Vader drew closer, trying to catch what she said.
Padme moaned, shifting. She was trying to say something. Her eyes stayed closed, but she moaned again. Still taken by sleep, her face flushed deeper, her head turning toward him - "Anakin, Anakin."
Rage shot through him but settled quickly. She called for him, or rather, who he used to be. There was no sense in jealousy. He almost answered but waited for what else she might say.
She groaned, deeper this time, his name running through her lips again and again. The more she said it, the less it bothered him. It was… familiar. A warmth he hadn't known in a long time.
If she would not accept him for who he was now…. he didn't know what could happen then. How he would lie to The Emperor, how he would convince him to let her remain here. He thought of the small chip he had had beneath his bed, Padme's likeness lighting up the hologram. The only sliver he had of her for months and months, and through the unrelenting grief of what he believed was her death. But Padme was now here in the flesh, alive; whole.
He crossed the bed and lay beside her, selfishly, wanting to soak in that bit of light she radiated. She stirred but did not awaken. Vader didn't want to wake her, even if it wasn't his new self she called out for - it was still he she longed for, he she desperately needed.
"Anakin, yes… Anakin, my love…"
He stared at her, and didn't recognize the stirring in his chest. Didn't know what that pull inside him was. Envy? Of his former self? No, it wasn't, not envy.
Longing. He wanted her. Whether she was calling him Anakin or Vader or cursing his very existence, he needed her. All of her. He was done denying himself, denying her of what she so clearly wanted but was afraid to take.
The early morning light shone in through the window, and Anakin's head was between her legs. He hadn't come up in hours, and Padme thought she might die from sheer pleasure. She had lost count of how many times she'd came now, and was just basking in the bliss of being licked again and again, Anakin's mouth and tongue against her both relentless and passionate.
He dipped in a finger and curved it upward, pulling out to add in a second and curving again, rocking his hand into her steadily. She needed this. He worked the pleasure through her in heavy strokes, drawing out every ounce of ecstasy.
He brought her to the edge of orgasm again, his warm, wet tongue circling her center right where she needed him. Anakin knew her too well, knew just how to work her into a frenzy. She was moaning her pleasure, panting and groaning, gripping one of his forearms in one hand and the sheets in another, the licking becoming unbearable, pure pleasure crescendoed in her hips-
He stopped, his golden head came up, blue eyes finding hers.
"Wake up, Padme." His soft voice floated to her.
She panted a bit, eyebrows slightly pulling together, annoyed that he chose that moment to stop. "What?"
"It's time to wake up now."
She breathed an uncertain laugh. "I- I don't understand."
"Come back to me, love. Wake up."
Padme's eyes fluttered open and she looked down, her body not naked but clad in a tight blood-red gown, her breasts pushed uncomfortably high… and no golden-haired, blue-eyed Anakin between her legs.
But Vader was laid beside her, studying her carefully. They locked eyes, and Padme's core turned molten pinned beneath his gaze.
This was reality, this Sith Lord in bed beside her. Before, Anakin, that was all a dream, a memory. Not real.
Vader was propped on an elbow over her, and she was panting as she had been in her dream, her breasts feeling full and heavy with need. His eyes flicked to her lips, back to her eyes. She turned slightly toward him, her breasts overflowing from the corset.
His gaze didn't leave her eyes, but they darkened. Not to blue, but to a cooler toned gold, like warmed whiskey.
Padme's brain felt hazy, blurred. The one thought she could grasp was that she wanted him to kiss her. Wanted his full weight on top of her, wanted him inside of her and all over her at once.
His face drew near and she craned her neck, dying with the need of tasting his lips, wanting his warm tongue roving over her own, taking her mouth fully.
When their lips tentatively brushed, lighting struck through her very core. This was a high she had never felt, the purest of pleasures. She sensed every nerve in her body jump, tingle. He pressed into the kiss a bit more, his lips soft and reassuring, searching. His tongue swiped the seam of her lips and she opened her mouth, exploring his tongue with her own. At the same time, his hand dropped from where it had cradled her head, down to her breast, freeing it from constraint and palming it in his large hand.
He rolled a hardened nipple between his fingers, and Padme groaned deeply. It shot pleasure down through her, alighting her sensation, and she thought for a second she might come from that alone. Every piece of her was intent on ripping her gown off and letting him pump into her again and again.
He gripped her breast more firmly, just as she needed, his other hand wrapping underneath her waist and pulling her down so that she lay beneath him.
He moaned slightly as his tongue did another sweep through her mouth, and she matched his pleasure with her own sounds. There was no way she was getting out of this corset in time, her breasts had barely been released. Vader's head dropped as he pulled a nipple into his mouth, lightly sucking. Padme's head fell back into the pillow, groaning. He moved back up quickly to kiss her, like he couldn't leave her mouth, like he would devour her whole. His hand replaced where his mouth was on her breast, working her between his calloused fingertips.
Padme hitched her skirt up, now desperate for friction where she needed it most.
His hips quickly met hers. The only thing separating his hardened length from her was her own red panties and his black pants. He pressed himself against her and the hardness made her moan again, as well as she could with his tongue still in her mouth.
A voice sounded over the comlink beside the bed "Lord Vader, your presence is requested in Cell Block 371."
Vader pulled back, annoyed, blinking. "Um… repeat order."
"Your presence is requested in Cell Block 371."
He shook his head, angry. "I'm - otherwise engaged. Fuck off."
He lowered to kiss her again, but before his lips touched hers - "The request is from The Emperor himself, My Lord." It sounded like a droid on the other side of the com link. Padme panted, desperate for him again after this pause.
"Fucking shit." Vader rose from where he was atop Padme, sitting on the edge of the bed for a second, his head in his hands. He turned to look at her. Despite his anger, his eyes looked sad. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
He was out of the door before Padme could respond. She lay, staring at the ceiling for a moment, her head spinning.
She had to get out of the fucking corset before she lost her damned mind.
Her hand moved to her chest to rip it off but she brushed her own breast, drawing her mind somewhere else for flash. Vader's hands pressing into her, kneading her heavy breast, his hard length firm against -
She flung herself from bed, calling for droids she knew were on standby in the closet. She even had the wretched shoes still on. Padme ripped them from her feet, throwing them across the room. She went to the bathroom where the frantic droids met her.
"Off. All of it, I want it all off. Now."
They all tittered around her, untying her corset, undoing her braids, removing her ruby earrings and hair pieces. Admist the chaos, one small droid, barely more than a slip of silver she didn't notice before, pushed a folded piece of paper in her hands.
Padme's eyes brows drew together, but seconds later she was wrapped in a simple black silk robe, the droids bidding good bye and filing out neatly.
She sat on the floor of the bathroom, pulling her knees to her chest, and unwrapped the small paper.
Anakin's mouth on hers, his tongue moving against her - Fuck this tonic was strong. She shook her head, struggling to focus on the words before her.
"Go, now, before he returns. Three doors down there is a light beside the door. Take what's inside, it will render you infertile."
And at the bottom, scrawled even messier than the first few lines -
"Destroy this."
There was no signature. Padme flipped the paper over. Nothing on the back. The edge was jagged, it looked like it had been ripped from something else.
She swallowed, her mind already flicking through her options. She feared if she left the room in this state, she would hunt Vader down. Or he would return, find her missing, and hunt her, thinking it was an attempted escape. She shook the thought of his heavy weight on top of her, his hips pressed into hers, rubbing the paper between her fingers to pull herself back to reality. This…. could it be a trick? Was it a sick game from The Emperor? Or could she really be so lucky as to have a way out of this nightmare? Her mind hadn't even allowed her to think that far - if she did get pregnant… what would she do then?
The door to the hall wasn't locked, which she figured she could attribute to the little silver droid, or perhaps whoever wrote the note. There were no guards in the hall either.
Should she just try a full on escape now? No, there was no time. Vader could return at any moment, Sidious could round the corner and kill her… And she had to ingest this tonic or whatever it was the note referred to that would prevent a pregnancy. When Vader returned, there was no doubt…. she couldn't stop herself.
Shame hit hard. It wasn't that she couldn't…. Padme wouldn't. She wanted Vader, all of him. And this pregnancy prevention was just what she needed to alleviate just a fraction of the guilt that came with what she was about to do. It lifted that final fear, that mental block she had been hiding behind.
She snuck quickly though the halls, barefoot and silent.
It was a while before she saw even one door, the note had said three doors down, hadn't it? Or was it two? Does Vader's rooms count as door one? She had already ripped the paper to bits and flushed it away before sneaking out here.
No one was in the hall; she figured she might as well check this first one. Padme stood on her tip toes and tried to reach into the cylinder light fixture but was met with a pane of glass closing it on top. She continued on, passing only one cleaning droid that did nothing but buzz past her.
She approached the second door, reaching over the top of the light - her hand hit glass again. It must be the next door. She hurried on, feeling exposed in her thin robe and so far away from Vader's room now that she was worried she'd get turned around somehow. Everything looked the same, there were no windows, occasional small vents, and metallic paneling on every wall.
As she walked for the last door, her head empty of thoughts for half a second, the tonic Palpatine had forced her to drink took over once again. She swallowed thickly as images of Anakin, down on his knees in front of her, tongue at the apex of her thighs, drowned her mind and senses. She felt herself growing ridiculously wet at just the thought, and she bit her lip to cut off an exhale. Fuck, she just had to get to the last door and find this thing.
Finally, she saw the black trim outline of the third door ahead, hurrying to it. On her toes once again, reaching over and into the light - there. No glass barrier. She reached further in, then withdrew quickly, drawing in a hissing breath. The side of her pointer finger already red and stinging, she blew on it, then shook it out. But there was something else in the fixture, something she had felt with her pinky - something plastic. Padme blew out a breath and reached in again, this time slowly, anticipating the pain of another burn as she went in blind.
She twitched when she again brushed the bulb accidentally, but quickly snatched the plastic baggy up and out of the cylinder fixture.
It was a single baby blue pill, no inscriptions. She looked up and around her, seeing no one in the halls. It was now or never. Did she trust whoever wrote that letter? Another wave of the tonic crashed through her, along with an urge to run through the ship and hunt down Vader, no matter the stakes. She took in a deep breath that maybe only made matters worse, and tried to focus on the little baggy, holding it to the light.
The worse that could happen was that it killed her. Instantaneous death wouldn't be too bad. A slow death would hurt but would have to end eventually. Padme decided to trust her gut again and take the note at face value. Still, she prayed she wasn't falling into an obvious trap.
She opened the baggy, placed the blue pill on her tongue. Perfect, one thing down. Now, she just had to get back to Vader's room, undetected and without dying from the mystery pill. As she swallowed, the door she stood in front of slid open, a stormtrooper stepping out.
"What the-?" He lifted his blaster, then lowered it slightly after seeming to take in her state. "What're you doing out of your cell, prisoner?"
Shit. Her luck had just ran out. "I- I'm not a prisoner. I'm a guest of Lord Vader."
The stormtrooper laughed. "Yeah, my ass. Guest of Lord Vader…Where did you get these clothes?" He motioned to her robe with his blaster.
Padme lifted her chin. "I am. I'm… here for… Lord Vader's entertainment." She tried her best to draw an air of authority into her voice, like she had so many times before, what felt like ages ago. "I'm sure he would be displeased to hear that you've kept me from his company."
The stormtrooper seemed to hesitate a moment, then looked her up and down again. It was hard to read him with his helmet on, to tell if he was convinced of her story. "What kind of company is that, miss?"
"Of the personal sort."
The stormtrooper seemed embarrassed then, shifting his weight and angling away from her. "Oh, I see. Well, why don't I escort you back to your - I mean his… are you currently residing in Lord Vader's chambers?"
"Yes, I am. An escort won't be necessary, but thank you."
She turned to leave, but - "Wait a second, let me see your credentials. I'm starting patrol on this hall. Need to log it."
"Uh - I, I left them in the rooms."
The trooper tilted his head slightly. "What did you say your name was again?"
Fuck. She was almost free. Does she say Padme? Is it common knowledge that she's aboard this ship? Or does she give a fake name? Padme started stuttering, and the Stormtrooper tensed, like he might grab her. Before she could decide to run or dig her lies deeper, someone sounded behind them.
"You don't need to know her name." The voice came from down the hall a bit, Vader was walking in long strides toward them, his robe billowing out in a dark wave. He stopped beside them and grabbed Padme's upper arm. "Leave before I crush the air from your lungs."
The stormtrooper nearly hit the wall trying to put space between himself and Vader.
Vader half dragged her the other direction, back toward his rooms. "What the fuck are you doing?" He said, so low it was hard to hear.
"I came to find you," she lied smoothly. It wasn't that hard, as she was actually quite pleased to see him. For the first time in a long time. Padme bit her lip. His grip on her arm had already had her soaked, she could practically feel herself dripping. Fuck, she thought again. She had no self control on this tonic. Padme walked with her legs closer together - She had nothing underneath the black robe, even the red panties were taken away with everything else. Thorough fucking droids.
Vader's firm grip on her arm, the gravel of his voice hitting her just right, his anger…it all had her needing him more.
Needing him now.
"Why are you walking like that? Stand up straight." He pulled up at her arm a bit. He started going on about what The Emperor would do if he thought Vader did not have her under control, but Padme was barely listening.
They were still so far from the room, only just at the second door. "What's in here?"
Vader made a face. "Enough of the escape plans. We're almost back."
Padme planted her feet to stop his near dragging of her, and he turned, angry of course, face questioning. She couldn't wait another second - every cell in her body was screaming at her to take his clothes off, lick him head to toe, eat him alive. And now that she'd swallowed the pill…"Take me in there. Now."
He angled his head, but let her back him up to the door. Padme reached up and kissed him fully, pressed her body into him, her back arching - it was so sweet, so satisfying. He pressed back, grabbing the back of her head roughly as he kissed her. The door behind him slid open and they nearly fell inside.
It was a darkened armory of sorts, tables and cabinets filled with blasters and weapons of all kinds. There were no beds. Every space was a hard, flat surface. Tables, walls, benches.
And she wanted him to fuck her on every single one.
He grabbed her hand and made to go deeper in the room, but noticed her flinch. Vader turned back quickly, stopping. "What happened to your hand?"
"What? Nothing." She held her hand up and wiggled her fingers. "I'm fine."
He took her hand from the air and pulled her closer. Examining, he found the angry red line down the side of her forefinger. "Is it a burn?"
"Oh, yes I forgot, the water was too hot in the bathroom earlier."
His eyes narrowed slightly at her explanation. Padme felt the empty plastic baggy in the pocket of her robe like a branded weight, like Vader could see through the fabric and into her lie. "That water doesn't get scalding."
She almost pulled her hand away from his inspection. "Well, it did when I used it."
Vader, slowly, brought her injured finger to his mouth, and blew a cool breath across the skin there. It was a temporary balm, but it did provide relief for a few moments.
And the vision of his eyes set on her, his lips so close to her skin… the air he exhaled now sent goosebumps up her arm. He stopped and smiled slightly, pulling her by that hand gently closer to him, setting it over his shoulder. "What happened to the red dress?" She tried not to show too much relief that he dropped the line of questioning.
"Hopefully, it's somewhere in shreds."
He hummed his agreement, leaning down to nuzzle into her neck. The act reminded her too much of how he used to seduce her, slowly, gently.
She did not want to be reminded of Anakin. This was not Anakin, and she had made her peace with that. Kind of.
The tonic made it easier to skate over any of her past protests, and just ride out the feeling building inside her. Padme did not want slow and gentle, not right now, not with Vader.
He palmed her breast through the thin silk of her robe, far too slowly, and brought his mouth back to hers, lazily roving his tongue, exploratory.
She tried to force the speed, pushing against him hungrily. But he nearly groaned, pulling away enough to sigh and ask - "Is…" He exhaled again before speaking, like he was wrestling his own inner inclinations. "Is this what you want? Or is it just the shit Lord Sidious made you take?"
Padme didn't take long to consider; she'd already decided. "Actually, no. You're doing it all wrong. This is what I want. " She took his hand and put it exactly where she wanted it; the frustrating ache between her legs. "Now stop taking your sweet time and fuck me already."
It only took Vader half a second to register what she'd said before his lips crashed into hers, his hand circling the apex of her thighs, right where she needed him to be.
He backed her into a wall, something clattered off but she didn't care what. Her robe was dropped to the floor, and she clutched at his back to stay up, his broad shoulders towering over her, overpowering her. Vader hefted her up so that only her tip toes on one foot touched the ground, the other leg hitched. Two fingers slid in easily, and he moved her hips with the motions he rocked into her, his thumb still circling her clit.
Pleasure neared so quickly she had no time to hold it off. Release crashed through her so strong she bit into his shoulder to stop from screaming. Through every peak, his devilish fingers moved into her, against her, again and again.
Normally, she would need a few minutes to recalibrate and come to her senses. But this was not a normal situation. And she could feel Vader's excitement and need even stronger now, her own rising in response. Her legs were almost useless, but she didn't get the chance to even try to walk before Vader lifted her effortlessly, throwing weapons off a nearby silver table with the force. He lay her on her back there, taking off his belt and throwing it to the side, then his pants, where she could see the length of him straining in his black briefs.
Her mouth watered at the sight, and she swallowed. He turned her to the side so that her head hung upside down from the table. Vader met her on that side, finally removing that last piece of fabric that separated them from total contact.
His cock was just how she remembered it - the skin velvety soft, pulled tight around how hard he was, how ready for her. She took him in her mouth eagerly, and he groaned at the first dip. "Mmmmm fuck yes," Vader moaned between clenched teeth.
She only had him in her mouth for a few strokes before he pulled away, his cock already glistening, dripping with her spit. She panted, coughing a bit at how deep he'd just been.
Vader spun her once more, pulling her hips to the edge of the silver table. Padme's legs were spread, bent at the knee. Vader put one hand just above her knee, the other guiding his cock toward her entrance. He tapped the head of it over her clit, rubbing circles there that drove her mad in anticipation.
Just before he gave her what she was dying for - "Wait, just wait." He hit his knees, licking a broad stroke from the bottom of her cunt, straight to the top. Padme almost came again right there, the warmth and pressure delicious. She would lose her mind if he licked her again.
His tongue dipped inside her then, its wet warmth an overwhelming pleasure that she rocked toward.
Vader came back up, pushing his hair back with one hand and wiping his mouth with the other. "I had to taste you," he said quietly, leaning over as they shared breath. His eyes now on her lips, he claimed her mouth with his own.
His tongue was pressed into hers when she finally felt his hard cock nudge at her entrance, both so wet that it slid in fully, drawing a groan from them both.
Fuck yes. This was exactly what she'd been craving, more intensely the past hour, but really for days, weeks, for months. Her mind and soul and body was melded with him at last. The fullness of having Anakin with her again, in total ecstasy.
Her thought cut short when she met Vader's heavy lidded golden gaze looking down at her reverently, like she held the deepest power and he was begging for just a taste. Vader was the one fucking her, the one dragging out every illicit moan from her lips.
But this time she didn't feel the weight of shame in her gut. Instead, Padme decided she liked the feeling, loved it; keen pride gliding through her as the Sith Lord rocked into her relentlessly, the sensations utterly decadent and sinful.
After a blissful eternity, they came together, Vader's hand around her throat and his mouth to her ear, whispering filthy praises that had Padme biting her lip and clutching his back to keep herself from shattering completely.
Afterwards, the pair lay on the metal table, chests heaving and stuck together, slick with sweat. She hadn't felt so completely herself in maybe forever. She held him to her, old memories flicking through her head.
The moment was made even more perfect with the realization that they lay panting in a fully stocked armory, that Padme now knew was fairly accessible and neighboring Vader's rooms.
When he kissed her temple, her smile was genuine.
Once showered and back in his bed, she crawled under the cool sheets and nearly passed out from exhaustion. This bed was infinitely more comfortable than the one in her cell, and she felt a little insane wanting to laugh at the comparison. From a mat in the corner to a massive, sprawling bedroom suite. She tried not to think of herself as a sell out, but rather as a formidable player. She was playing chess, and this was a move that had to be made.
Vader lay beside her and watched her every move, but not in a suspicious way. He looked… curious. She turned on her side, propping her head on a hand. "Were you lying to Palpatine about us?"
Vader's eyes darkened at the whispered question. "I told him… what he wanted to hear."
"That we were already trying to…" She trailed off, watching his face.
"Yes."
"Why?"
His eyes left her face to stroke her bare arm for moment, and his golden gaze was sorrowful - a rare moment, when she could tell what he was feeling. "Because… I could not bear the alternative. I lost you once." His eyes flicked back to her. "I won't make the same mistake again."
"But the risk… if he knew you were lying…"
Vader considered his wife's question, but decided not to share everything outright. She didn't need more to worry about.
He suspected Lord Sidious did know, somewhat, they he was working to conceal Padme from him, and wasn't exactly giving his best effort at… procreating for the Empire.
There had been plenty of extra "training" sessions to keep his force power focused… Vader swallowed thickly. But that was nothing compared to the punishment Lord Sidious would surely plan for him should he know fully that Vader wasn't being entirely truthful. Worse, if Sidious questioned where his loyalties lie. With who his loyalties lie.
But he looked over to his wife, her eyes calculating and clever and caring, the warm brown in them melting away the very edges of his fear.
And decided that regardless of the punishment, it was worth it.
Vader fell into a deep sleep with an arm cast over her chest, leaving her wrists free and uncuffed. She rubbed at the still-raw skin there, eyes closed but mind flying.
Tomorrow, she would find out Vader's schedule and how to get into the armory. She would not be here much longer, she would get her family out and return to Luke and Leia. Padme would not allow them to continue their suffering as prisoners, to be forced to live in fear and uncertainty. Her children wouldn't live without their mother there to kiss them and pick them up, encourage and love them.
Her babies. Her family, her little nieces. Their lives were in her hands.
She ignored the small voice that prodded at the edge of her thoughts: But do you want to leave? It whispered.
Padme thought of Luke and Leia's tiny pink hands when they wrapped around her finger, of her sweet sister's loud laugh and her parent's kind eyes.
She thought of the warmth from the man beside her.
Yes, she finally snapped. Yes, of course I want to leave.
Do you? The voice whispered back.
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?