Chapter 14: A Shared Memory

Hannah's Perspective:

The sky was dark and the air was cool by the time I returned to camp. My stomach didn't long for food anymore. I had lost my appetite and couldn't manage to keep my thoughts straight. The only thing I really longed for was some peace and quiet. The fire sizzled and crackled in the middle of the camp with boys sitting around it, conversing and chatting. Of those boys included Julian, who sat with his hands resting on his knees, staring into the orange and yellow embers.

My focus was drawn back to getting to my hut. It was easier to find now that I had been here for a few days. Unfortunately, I still hadn't quite been able to get any quality sleep. Every time I entered the hut unexplainable shivers crept up my spine, only now I had a credible reason to feel this way. The door creaked as I swung it open, letting the cool air infiltrate the otherwise warm hut. The candle was lit on the bedside table, just barely illuminating the hut for me to see. Hearing the laughter of the boys around the campfire reminded me to shut the door behind me. Doing so, I strolled over to my already made bed and plopped myself down, my head laying on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling.

I exhaled a heavy sigh. For once in my life, I wish I hadn't been so nosey. I would never say it out loud, but what Brett told me really got me to question my strength. How is it that these strong boys can be overpowered by a few middle-aged men? What kind of sick, twisted people murder a teenage boy in front of his best friends?

And what were the odds that I'd end up sleeping in his bed…

Replacing him?

I shut my eyes and exhaled another heavy sigh. Could this day get any worse? I humiliated myself, I was betrayed by someone I trusted, I learned that this place is full of cold-blooded killers and demons, what more could a teenage girl ask for? All I wanted right now was to talk to someone who understood me—someone who understands what it feels like to be stuck. It seems like I'll never get out of this rut of not being enough. From then it didn't take long for my body to feel as though it was being dragged through a tub of molasses. First, my arms, then my legs felt like they were sinking deeper into the bed. My breathing slowed with every breath I took. A sudden warmth overtook me, making my eyelids feel heavy. At first, I resisted, but not before long my eyes had shut for good and my subconscious took control.

I opened my eyes to reveal an open field before me. The sky was golden and the long grass in the field blew with the wind. Looking around myself I took a few steps forward, hearing my feet step on the greenery beneath me. I couldn't tell whether or not I was in Neverland, but regardless, it was quite peaceful and relaxing. Resting my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath and slowly released it. When I reopened my eyes I felt as though a hundred pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. Ever since I arrived here in Neverland I've felt like I've never belonged. I've felt…lost…So why am I here? What is my purpose?

A light, cool breeze interrupted my thoughts. The scent of wooded pine and honey filled my senses. It seemed familiar to me in such a way I couldn't quite remember where it was from. I stood in question for a moment, feeling a chill brush across my back. I turned my body to the opposite direction, feeling as though I was being watched. But as I turned around and the sun glared into my eyes I saw nothing standing before me except the wide open field. I looked upon the field in wonder and confusion.

I feel something…someone…

It seemed insane to think, but I didn't feel alone. I know what "alone" feels like, and this isn't it. I felt a presence with me. Not like a ghost, but something…more real.

"Hello?" I called out, only to hear my voice echo through the field. "Is someone there?" My voice continued to ring throughout the empty field. It appeared as though I was talking to myself once again, but deep down I knew that wasn't true? Building the courage I continued to speak. "I know someone's here. You don't have to be afraid…" As I looked in front of me I could feel myself losing hope. Maybe I was crazy. But as though I acted from my heart, I lifted my hand with outstretched fingertips in front of me. A breeze sent a chill across my wrist, causing my fingers to flinch. But all of a sudden a burst of energy rushed through me, starting from my fingertips moving up my arm. A bright white light flashed before my eyes, causing me to shield them with my forearm. My body fell backward as images flashed before my eyes. Standing before me in this vision was the stubborn brunette with brown eyes, Lea.

"You're such as asshole" she laughed, a grin stretching across her face, revealing a white smile. "How can you guys be so mean to Sam like that? I mean, yeah, it's Sam, but still. Doesn't he deserve some pity points?" Lea turned around as she walked further through the field. I could tell that I was seeing everything from someone else's perspective, but whose? How was I seeing this? They jogged to keep up with her as she continued to speak.

"So, what's next? A secret ambush on Julian? Another rope trap set for Ryan? My personal favorite was when you guys took Brett's clothes while he was out for a swim" she chuckled, her white smile shining brightly as she turned around to look in my direction. She slowly came to a stop and looked out to the pink sky.

"Thanks for everything today. It really beats having to put up with Pan's demands. It's just nice to feel like a normal teenager sometimes…" Lea raised a brow. My God, she acts like she's all stressed…She literally does nothing but watches everyone from a distance. "'Course I can't say I've ever really been a normal teenager I guess." Her eyes fell to the ground before looking back to the sky. My view was fixated on her as she looked out the sky. It's strange how it feels as though all of this was actually real.

My heart skipped a beat when all of a sudden the same white light flashed before me, blinding my eyes as I fell backward, hitting the rough grass and ensnaring myself in tufts of weeds. I grunted and exhaled a heavy breath in an attempt to center my breathing. However, my breathing only seemed to get heavier as I examined where I was. I sat alone in the field with nothing before me except for the sun that was nearly set, just sitting slightly above the horizon. A swift breeze blew strands of my long blonde hair in front of my eyes. Something was going on here. I wasn't crazy.

"Who are you?" I spoke loud and clear, my voice still echoing through the field. I began to grow frustrated, for I knew I wasn't being delusional. Whatever was happening was happening for a reason.

"And why did you show me that girl, Lea?" I called out in question, still wondering why I had seen her in some sort of cliche flashback sequence. It's insane to think that she can still haunt me even when she's not around. But that thought made something in my head click. Something obvious that I didn't realize until just then made a shiver race up my spine. I was dreaming. None of this was real.

A heavy wind began to roar through the trees and grass, whipping my golden locks everywhere. My stomach dropped, and as I closed my eyes I reopened them to find myself shooting up from my bed with beads of sweat dripping from my forehead. I gasped as the sharp pain shot through my body, making me unable to breathe. In a panic, jumped up from my bed and stood up. Shuffling over to the vanity, I tightly grasped the edge of it and attempted to inhale and exhale as best as I could. The world and everything around me appeared fast and jagged. I could feel a hot flash coming, just creeping up from my wrists.

Hannah, just breathe.

Breathe…

My forearms began to tremble and I squeezed my eyes shut. My head started to pound like a beating drum and I felt the fear consume me. My body was filled to the brim with a darkness I couldn't escape from.

"Hannah, honey, you need to breathe."

I could hear her tender voice speaking to me. But my body continued to ignore my pleading thoughts. My god, why won't my body listen to me?!

"Sweetheart, I need you to do this for me, okay?"

God, please! Make it stop! Goddamn it Hannah, breathe! I was now out of air and unable to breathe. I was suffocating and there was nobody that could help me.

Everything's going to be okay…Just trust me…

I grit my teeth and took a sharp breath in before letting it out slowly. The world around me appeared to slow down and my racing thoughts ceased. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I maneuvered through the dark hut back to my bed before throwing myself of the warm sheets. Well, that was a blast from the past…I breathed slowly as I brought my head to my pillow, my eyes feeling watery and dry at the same time.

I used to get panic attacks all the time as a child—

And my Mom was the only one who knew how to handle them.

Jake's Perspective:

There's no way to describe how sickening it is to hear someone you care about scream your name at the top of their lungs in desperation and agony. When you hear the fear in their voice…you can never forget it.

Even if it never actually happened.

Her body dangled off the side of the cliff, helpless, holding onto a single outstretched branch. My feet moved as fast as they would carry me; right, left, right, left, inhale, exhale. My heart pounded in my chest as beads of sweat dripped down my face.

"Jake! Jake, help me!" Her shouts and cries got louder and louder the closer I neared. I exhaled heavily as I pushed myself to run faster. I was almost there. Just up ahead I could see the sparse trees, and beyond that, the cliff that she held onto for dear life. At the bottom of the cliff, which the Lost Boys knew of well, was hundreds of sharp rocks that would slice your hand if you so much as poked it with the tip of your finger. It was now that I passed the sparse trees and found myself out in the open, standing in front of the rockslide. "Jake, please hurry!" her desperate voice pleaded.

Looking about myself I headed in the direction of the voice and threw myself onto my knees. My fingertips rested on the edge of the rock and soil as my head swung over the side of the cliff. A few feet below the edge I was met with her earthy brown eyes full of fear and trauma. Reaching my hand down over the cliff as far as I could I tried to grab her hand.

"Jake, please! I don't want to die!" She begged as her eyes began to water. "I'm not ready to die!" Her breaths were heavy and her arms began to shake.

"Everything is gonna be okay! I've got you!" I exclaimed. "I would never let anything happen to you," I assured her, looking straight into her eyes that reflected the light of the Neverland sun. My reach was just short of her hand, so I stretched my hand to its absolute farthest it could. "You need to let go of the branch" I grunted as I could outstretch my arm no further. From the look in her eyes, she doubted my judgment.

"Jake, I can't—"

"Yes, you can. You can do this!"

Exhaling heavier I grunted once more in frustration. She was at my fingertips. Seeing the doubtful expression on her face I spoke.

"You're just gonna have to trust me." I had all of my faith in her that she could do this. Scrunching her eyes she quickly let her left hand go from the branch and grabbed the fingers of my outstretched hand. It was then that the snapping sound of the branch echoed through the air. Her body fell from the branch as her fingertips slipped through mine. Her eyes were wide as she fell through the air. She screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Jake!" My body trembled in fear and disbelief.

"Lea!" I screamed aloud as her body plummeted toward the sharp rocks at the bottom of the cliff. Every moment was slow and painful. Her arms clawed at the air as her long brown locks rippled in the falling wind. I quickly looked away toward the trees beside me. Her screams suddenly came to a halt. Gathering myself I looked below me to find myself in horror. I couldn't describe what I saw. My heart burned and tears streamed down my face.

She was at my fingertips! I let her fall! I let her die! My stomach was uneasy and I could have easily thrown myself off that very same cliff. And actually, that's what I did. My stomach flipped several times as my body plummeted toward the sharp rocks. But before I could meet my deserved fate my world went black.

My eyes shot open.

I laid in my bed with sweat dripping down my face.

"Jake! If you don't get your ass outside and start working I'm going to make you wish you were never born!" My father shouted from the kitchen. Truly, never gets old…I sighed and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. These nightmares I've been having seem to have no end. The last time I even remember dreaming had to have been at least a month ago. Some days I don't even bother confronting my father. Nothing has changed. Gail told me to find a different ending, but there aren't any other endings.

I had no desire to work, nor speak to my father today. I felt completely exhausted—physically and mentally. It's come to the point where my father doesn't scare me as much as he used to. After experiencing him for as long as I have my emotions have begun to fade. Nothing has meaning anymore…

My eyes closed as I sank deeper into my bed. Exhaling a heavy breath I clenched my sheets in my hands and turned over on my side. Why can't all of this be a dream? Just one, big, awful nightmare that would soon end? Lord knows I'm not that lucky…I sighed and nuzzled my head into my warm sheets. Deep down I knew that if I didn't find a lead on how to get out of here I would go insane.

As if I wasn't already insane…Just talking to myself like I'm my own best friend…

I could feel myself drifting off as I began to feel light-headed. My fingertips grew numb and my thoughts wandered. I sank even further into my bed and released one last sigh.

When I reopened my eyes I was blinded by a golden light and a cool breeze dancing across my skin, creating patches of goosebumps along my arms. The air was otherwise warm and oddly familiar. Observing my surroundings I instantly knew where I was. I was standing in the field of Neverland where Lea and I hung out all the time. There were so many good memories here…So many hours spent chasing each other, watching the stars…Was I actually having a good dream for once?

A sudden shuffle of weeds caught my attention, startling me. As I turned around to investigate the source of the noise my jaw dropped slightly in awe. In front of me was a girl with golden blonde hair facing the opposite direction, slowing walking through the field. I hardly moved nor breathed. Where the hell was I? Was this real? How is this happening? I slowly and carefully approached her, one step at a time. It would appear she wasn't aware of my presence. She suddenly stopped walking and stood in her place, her eyes scanning the field.

My heart beat a thousand times a minute. Who is this girl? And how is she in Neverland? I continued taking small steps toward her until I stood directly behind her. My heart began to pump even faster as I raised my hand to her shoulder, lightly tapping it. Suddenly, she turned around to face me,her bright blue irises looking right at me. I gasped in shock at her sudden reaction to me. I spoke to her in a calm voice.

"What are you doing here? Who are—"

"Hello?" She questioned aloud, cutting me off. "Is someone there?" Her blue and green irises scanned the field several times.It was in that moment that I realized she wasn't looking at me. She was looking through me. I was invisible to her. And it was obvious she couldn't hear me either. She had this certain curiosity emanating off her. Her pin-straight blonde hair fell down past her shoulders toward her elbows. Her face was composed of a small nose resembling a button, defined cheekbones, and a strong jawline. Her cheeks held the slightest hue of pink, complemented by a few scattered freckles.

I wanted to speak, but my mouth wouldn't let me. There was no point. She couldn't hear me, so why bother trying? She continued looking straight through me, tilting her head in confusion.

"I know someone's here," she said. "You don't have to be afraid."

My eyes widened. Could it be true? Did she know I was here? Or was it a coincidence? I watched as she lifted her hand in front of her, outstretching her fingertips. Her eyes glimmered with the setting sun. With caution, I slowly lifted my hand towards her, stretching my fingertips to their furthest ability. I was reluctant and nervous; God knows why. But in the pit of my stomach I somehow just…knew. I knew that something was going to change.

And it did.

The moment our fingertips touched a bright white light flashed before my eyes. Air forcefully escaped my lungs, leaving me breathless. When I forced my eyes open my lips parted and my eyes opened. In the very same field, I saw a girl full of curiosity, bliss, and adventure standing before me. Her brunette hair held loose waves just as I remembered it. And her eyes…her eyes…were just as full of wonder as I had always seen them. But as she spoke I had realized that she wasn't actually here. It was a memory from a long time ago. Everything was exactly as I remembered it, and I re-experienced it all.

"You're such as asshole" she laughed, a grin stretching across her face, revealing her pearly white smile. "How can you guys be so mean to Sam like that? I mean, yeah, it's Sam, but still. Doesn't he deserve some pity points?" Lea turned around as she walked further through the field. Her grin was still visible even as she faced away from me. I jogged to keep up with her as she continued to speak.

"So, what's next? A secret ambush on Julian? Another rope trap set for Ryan? My personal favorite was when you guys took Brett's clothes while he was out for a swim" she chuckled, her white smile shining brightly as she turned around to look at me. It's crazy that I've forgotten how bright and uplifting her smile is, or was. She slowly came to a stop and looked out to the pink sky before us.

"Thanks for everything today. It really beats having to put up with Pan's demands. It's just nice to feel like a normal teenager sometimes…" Lea raised a brow as she eyed me. "Course I can't say I've ever really been a normal teenager I guess." Her eyes fell to the ground before looking back to the sky painted with pink and orange hues. While she looked at the sky my eyes were fixated on her as they were the day this took place. It's strange how real a memory can feel to someone. But at the same time, as my eyes observed her rosy cheeks and stray pieces of dark hair framing her face, it brought back the same dread in my heart. For I knew that if I was truly in hell now, she must be suffering a different fate. And God knows that it was my fault for not protecting her.

At that moment, the same white light flashed before my eyes. When I reopened them, I witnessed the blonde girl laying on the ground propped back on her elbows, breathing heavily as her bright blue eyes scanned the area in confusion. It was then that I began to wonder…Did she just see…my memory?

"Did you just see that?" I asked aloud. The girl stood up from the ground as her eyes hectically scanned the field. It seemed that she still couldn't see or hear me, but from the look on her face, I could tell that she had just witnessed everything I saw.

"Who are you?" The girl spoke loud and assertive as she observed her surroundings once more. "And why did you show me that girl, Lea?" A look of concern was plastered across the girl's face. But what concerned me most was what her last words were. She knew Lea. There truly was a new girl in Neverland, and she knew of Lea! She must be okay! My god why can't I just talk to this girl?! Why is the universe pinned against me? I took a step towards the girl in an attempt to try and find a way to talk to her, but I flinched in surprise when in an instant her entire being disappeared into thin air.

No…No!

I blinked my eyes as I heard the familiar shouts of my father. I shot up from my bed and looked around me. The day had started over once more. What had I just done? Did I find a flaw or a cheat in the cycle? As I continued to mull over things in my head a strange memory surfaced.

Gail raised a brow.

"The perks to not being dead or alive; you're almost like a ghost. Except you can only contact through or see people's dreams. It's really hard to contact people in their dreams who are outside of Preternal Neverland. I've never been able to do it."

No way…

I think I just saw that girl's dream…outside of Preternal Neverland…For me, this was a big deal. If I can find a way to contact someone from Neverland…I might just have a way out of this hell. The thought of being able to get back to Lea made me fill with a new motivation. That memory was the closest I've felt to being with her in what seems like forever. I'm going to do it again. And once I get out of this living hell…

I'm going to run a blade right through Hook's cold, non-existent beating heart.

—

A.N:

Hey guys! Wow, I actually updated twice in one month…0.o Hope all is well! I'm so glad I got another chapter done in a respectable amount of time! Lol, does anyone even read these author's notes? Comment "Brett's a baguette" if you do (I'm a curious bean LOL). Anyways, what'd y'all think? What's going on with Hannah and Jake? Was it real? Was it fake? Let me know your thoughts and predictions in the comments. I hope you liked the chapter and I'll see you in the next update!

-Agm3