Chapter 5

"So how are you feeling now? Are you sorry we came?" questioned Mary as she and Matthew drew up the drive to the abbey. They were home. Properly home.

The coy smile from her husband to her told her the way he felt right then. No he did not feel sorry.

"We have not been here since we got married." On the day they had got married, the grass had been thick with snow but it was spring now and the grounds of the abbey was lush green. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

The thought made her feel as romantic as it did him.

She remembered in that moment the trouble they had deciding where to have the wedding. Matthew had a church in Manchester where he had worshiped as a lad and though it was not traditional, he had put a word in for the two of them to marry there.

Then there had been the church in London. It had been the biggest and it had been the most central for all of their friends.

Downton though for their history and the family's history had won out. And he had never had cause to regret that choice for a minute. They had had a beautiful wedding and a wonderful day.

As the two of them drove down the drive, he could see a figure in the distance. As they got closer, he, for the figure was that of a man, came into perfect view.

Of course he was there to met them. Where else would he be?

"Carson, it is so good to see you!" said Mary with a great big smile for her old friend as she got out of the car. If it was a normal day, she would rush to greet him and give him a kiss on the cheek. But for the first time, she paused.

She wasn't sure that she should do that anymore.

He had been waiting to see her. He knew that Hughes was feeling down but he had also known Mary was not going to be.

She always had a smile on her face when she was in Yorkshire.

For just a moment he was hurt that he had not been greeted more warmly – but then he remembered the situation as well.

So things were beginning to feel rather real to her as well.

"It is good to see you, Lady Mary, Mister Matthew," he said with a nod. Though he was familiar to her, he also was strangely formal, as only Carson could be. "How was the drive up?"

"We had a fabulous run. I trust that we have your company for the duration?" she said to him the duration being of course that of lockdown. She did not want him to rush off into the night.

"Yes, milady you do."

"I am so glad of it." She said as their eyes met for a moment. "I trust mama and Edith arrived safely?"

"They did – they are settling in already."

"I think we will go and join them."

"Would you like any help with your bags?"

"Thank you Carson, but I think we've got them." She said as she looked at her husband. "If you've any particularly good gossip though, feel free to impart that."

X x x

Cora knocked on the door to her youngest child's room. When she had got to the abbey, and when she had seen the green grounds around her, she had felt as if she was being engulfed in the happiest, most secure part of her life. As an American, she felt as if she should wish to go home to her native Connecticut but – but right now this was where she wanted to be.

But when she looked at her young daughter in the front of her desk, she could not feel the same confidence. It seemed to her as if Sybil was not in a safe place.

"Mama," said Sybil as she saw her come into the room. She had to say she had been expecting her.

"This place is looking tidy."

Sybil could not help but smile. When she had been younger, the state of her room had been a real battle between them. Whereas Mary had been perfectly tidy and Edith had had a place for everything, Sybil had not. Things fell where they fell and it almost annoyed Cora that despite her mess, Sybil never seem seemed to lose anything – at least not for long.

But that day, there were minimal clothes on the chair in the corner, Sybil's small amount of make-up was in the bag and her desk, rather than being litter with pens and notebooks, was tidy. Pens in her pen holder, notebooks stacked neatly in the corner. It was as if she had had some big decision to make – and as if she believed a tidy room would aide a tidy mind. In fact her mother was sure that was the case.

"Well, I have had to get it ready for inspection," her daughter said tongue in cheek. She knew she was coming.

"Passed with flying colours, my darling," Cora beamed as she put her arms about herself. She knew what she had come here for – she did not know how successful she was going to be but she felt as if she had to try.

"Listen Sybil, it is not so often we all get to have this much time together these days. I wondered if there was any chance you might take a little time off from work whilst we are here so we can have some time together."

Sybil looked at her mother with love for all she had said and what she had not said. But she knew what the answer to that had to be.

"Mama, I am not going to ask to take time off from the hospital at the moment," said Sybil as she took her mother's hand.

She had known she was going to want her too but she couldn't.

"You and your principles," her mother sighed. She should be so proud of her and she was - but she wanted to keep her safe as well.

"I am in this together with my colleagues- but I don't want you to think I am in any immediate danger mama. I am working on the maternity wards and women are not going to stop having babies any time soon…"

"Darling I just want you to spend time with you," Cora said, trying to go back to her first tactic for just a moment.

"I am not going to abandon my colleagues," her daughter said softly but calmly.

There was no wiggle room on that. She would not give her mother false hope. Cora had known it was going to be easy to change the bridle with Sybil for it never was.

But now Cora could see it would be impossible.

"I – I"

"I am young and I am a women and I am going to be so careful."

Sybil did not need to ask to know all of this was coming from a place of fear for Cora. She was her baby and Cora had always been protective. Not just over her but all three of her girls.

"And it is not as if I am going to be working on a covid ward. Women are going to stop giving birth." She repeated. Through all of this, she had to keep the women she was looking after at the forefront off her mind.

She would remain on the maternity ward. But what she was not going to say was there could well be a mother who came into the ward with the disease. They were not going to get away without that situation, of that Sybil was sure. It was simply a bridge they were going to have to cross at some point.

"Then if you are not going to stay home I need you to promise you will talk to me and tell me what is going on with you." Cora knew that things would be bad and her daughter would see things she wished her baby didn't have too. She wanted her to stay young and innocent and safe. But it did not seem as if that was going to be the case. It wasn't possible.

"I promise you mama," Sybil said and with that she threw herself into her arms. She was a wonderful mother and she always had been. Sybil was just so glad she was hers.

"I love you."

"Love you too."

X x x

The conversation she had had with her mother weighed heavily on Sybil's mind, among other things, even after Cora had left the room, so it was no surprise to her she found it hard to turn off somewhat that night.

Ever since she had been a young teenager she had had the same answer to such moments – hot chocolate.

Definitely hot chocolate.

She hadn't been in the kitchen long when she heard footsteps coming towards her.

She looked up at the entrance to the kitchen and saw Mary appear.

"You beat me to it," her elder sister commented as she thought it was only too clearly a case of great minds think alike as the pot of Cadburys sat on the kitchen counter as Sybil grabbed the milk out of the fridge.

"Not ready for bed yet?" Sybil asked slightly surprised. Mary had driven up that day and Sybil had done that drive. She had to say she was almost always exhausted by the time she got here.

She was surprised Mary was not.

"No – I will sleep better tomorrow night when Papa is here and when Anna has had this baby." She was worried for her friend and it felt rather odd for her not to be there without their father. The abbey and Robert Crawley were one of the same in an odd way. "What about you? Don't you have a shift tomorrow – I am sure you need your rest for that at the moment."

"Mama, has already had that chat with me," she said.

"Well just because she has doesn't mean I won't as well," she said as she looked at her darling younger sister. She knew her. "Is anything else bothering you?"

Sybil smiled. Trust Mary to see the truth of it.

"I got a call from Tom today and the garage he has been working at has laid him off," He had worked for a small independent garage. Now he wasn't.

"He very good mechanic from all you have said," said Mary reminded Sybil in an attempt to comfort her.

"The thing is Mary I do not think it matters how good he is, I just do not think people are going to be hiring right now. And if we are in lockdown, less people are going to be using their car," and Mary could see Tom's worries and they were not just his worries. They were Sybil's as well.

"Something will turn up."

"It is going to have to or he is not going to make his rent this month."

Mary had little to say to that and was therefore almost glad when Edith walked in.

"Hot chocolate?" Sybil offered.

"Yes please," said Edith as she came into the kitchen and sat with her sisters.

"Can't turn off either?" Sybil asked.

"Not yet but I think part of it is being - well – being glad to be home."

Mary knew her sister did not think they were going to be there for long and it almost hurt her not to tease her right there and then but there was something in her voice which told her not too.

"How was Mama on the journey up?" Mary asked instead.

"I think she would be a lot happier if Papa was on the train with us."

It was not very often that Cora and Robert did something without one another so she knew their mother was a little unsettled when they did.

"I am sure he is going to be up with us soon."

Sybil smiled with hope that was the case. Their was a pause between the three sisters.

It was time to change the subject.

"So are you two looking forward to working from home together? You could take over the drawing room." Sybil said – she had to admit she had begun the question as a bit of a tease. But that was just what they were going to have to do she thought to herself.

And that meant spending more time together.

She put the milk back in the fridge before returning to her sisters.

"Yes – we better had think about where we're going to work," Mary said as she turned to Edith. They were home, but they were not on holiday.

Edith was about to say it wasn't as if they had to set anything in stone when there was a vibration.

Sybil could not help but be drawn by the flash if Edith's phone and she saw the name Bertie flash up. If she had been asked what her sister was going to do right then she would have said she was going to exit the room and take the call but – but then Edith did something which Sybil did not expect her too.

She ended the call.

The blondes eyes stayed on her phone for the minute as if she would long to answer her phone and to talk to the man who was clearly trying to contact to her.

But she didn't.

What had gone on between the two of them had not been missed by Mary.

But by god Edith knew she was not ready to talk to her about any of this.

"Why do you not want to talk to Bertie?" Sybil asked. She had always been a straight talker and she was not going to let her off the hock then..

"I just can't – not at the moment."

Mary had always thought that Edith had been dramatic but she knew she had no right to say that after the way she and Matthew had been at times.

"I am going to go and see if I can get some sleep." Edith said as she picked up her mug. "Thank you for the chocolate Sybil. Good night," she said as she as she kissed both of her sisters on the check and left the room.

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