Fifteen months and a big apology later, here is chapter 11 guys. Sorry!
Chapter 11
Needless to say, Matthew did not feel the best he ever had done when he got back to Downton Abbey. It was not only the fact he had missed saying goodbye to his mum when he could. It was also the fact he could then not offer proper comfort to Dickie Merton, who had looked as if he was ready to fall down of a broken heart when his mother had driven away.
Dickie was not his father and he had never tried to be. And that was why they got on so well. Dickie, he knew, would miss his mother more than he could say until she could move home.
As would he. God only knew how long it would be before he saw her again.
So he needed to, he felt, see someone he could hold as he arrived back into the abbey and went into the library to see both Edith and Mary hard at work - it still felt an odd set up to him. Both wore headsets to save arguments over music and overlapping zooms. It seemed to him they were working out, working from home, rather quickly.
Someone had clearly already been on Amazon already as a small coffee machine sat on the communal table.
As soon as Mary saw Matthew's face she took her head set off.
"Darling, what is it?" she said as she got up. No one needed to tell her something was wrong with her dear heart. Anyone could see it.
"It is my mother," he said with a deep sigh and ran a hand down his face. "She has moved out of Crawley House and into the care home."
Mary matched his sigh with her own.
If she had been asked, she would have said that was the most Isobel thing that the woman could do. She did love a good cause. Then so did Mary's husband normally, but she could see his pain.
"Well, I guess it is a good thing for the patients – she is going to keep them safe." Mary understood why she had done it. Not just for her charges, but for her husband as well. No one was meant to be going in and out of different places after all. "They are so lucky to have your mother," she said as she took his hand.
He could not disagree with there. Yet the most selfish part of him said as long as they had her – he did not. That was the way of the world right then.
None of it mattered as long as his mother was safe though, he tried to tell himself. But was she? Were any of them? Yes the nursing home was forming a bubble but bubbles burst.
"They are – I just pray to god she is going to be ok." He knew for a fact that she was going to be hurt so much more than she was going to let on. The distance from Dickie, from him…
"Why don't we go and grab some lunch?" Mary suggested. There were times when the one you love needed you. She was perceptive enough to know when she was needed.
"You're working my darling; I should not have disturbed you."
"I can log off for thirty minutes. I am sure the fashion industry won't stop without me."
X x x
Elsie Hughes, as everyone else was, was having what could only be called a shaky day, as they got used to the new normal. Emotions were running high.
She felt it every time that she looked out and saw that the grounds of the abbey were empty. She felt it when she looked at her outlook and saw there was nothing new in her meeting diary. She felt it every time she remembered she was not allowed to plan for her future right then.
She especially felt it when she looked at the news. She felt angry and sad and worried.
Worried about the statistics. Sad about what people were going through and powerless to change it and angry because of the sheer stupidity of people. Panic bloody buyers…
But the anger she felt at the people on the news was nothing compared when she found evidence of it within the walls of the abbey.
X x x
Ivy and Daisy were sitting together in what had once been the servant's kitchen. Daisy had brought down the tablet which the two sisters shared had quickly got into a true crime documentary. It was for now her preferred way to pass the time. As for Ivy she had picked up a book to read, as it was, without a lot of success. Her concentration she hoped would return with her school work. But even that could be a while yet.
That was when they saw Elsie fly into the room. She was furious, that much was clear. It was a state neither of them could deal with her in.
"Who on earth did it?" she asked.
Her tone was such that the backs of the two girls went ram rod straight. The commotion was such it had immediately attracted everyone in the vicinity, their mother and Mr Carson included. Ivy felt better knowing her mother was there to defend them if needed. Not that she could think of anything they or she had done wrong.
"Who did what?" asked Mr Carson from where he stood in the door way with a furrowed brow.
Elsie felt her pulse rise.
"That – that storeroom," said Elsie as she tried to control her emotions. "Was all but empty when I looked in it yesterday. But now – now it is full to the brim with baked beans and spaghetti and sodding toilet rolls."
They had all heard about the idiot panic buyers. It never occurred to her that one of them was under their roof.
"Now one of us has been panicking buying and I want to know who it is."
Elsie looked as if there was soon going to be steam coming out of her ears and Charles did not look as if he was going to be long behind her. This was something that it was clear both of them were going to struggle to tolerate.
The sisters looked at each other as if to ask if it had been them but when the answer was clearly no, they looked to their strong and sensible mother for her to defend them – but she was red and flustered and did not look as if she was far from tears.
Then she ran out of the room. The mood change in a heartbeat.
X x x
Elsie found her crying in the courtyard.
Beryl had her face in her hands and had the air of someone who would be glad if the ground swallowed her up.
"I know it was a bloody stupid thing to do, you do not have to tell me that. Please don't…." Beryl broke off as she looked up with red eyes. It was clear the chef did not feel as if she could take a whole lot more that day.
When Beryl had run from the room, Elsie had felt it as a kick in the stomach. All the anger had left her and she wished she had handled all of this differently. Beryl was her friend and in these troubled times she did not think any of them should turn on one another.
She had made all this worse than it had had to be.
"Talking of doing stupid things, I should never have flown into the kitchen screaming like a banshee," she was not sure what she had thought she would achieve by that. She could have dealt with it a whole lot better.
Beryl felt her shoulders drop a little as she felt the ease between them return.
"You weren't wrong in what you said." Beryl sighed. Deeply. She had known it when she was filling the trolley. Stupid and selfish but she couldn't stop herself. She had been embarrassed by her car load, wished she could take it all back to the shop but instead had drove it home. To her it had felt as if it was nothing short of a compulsion, though she was not sure anyone was going to buy that if she was to tell them.
"I was bloody stupid."
There was a silence between the two of them until Elsie spoke once more.
"Why did you do it?"
"Because – because it was something I could do."
Ever since all of this had been going on she had felt as if nothing was in her control. She felt powerless, unable to do anything to make anything right. For her daughters.
She couldn't tell them it would all be ok or if or when it would be over. She couldn't tell them when they were going to be able to get back to their education or when they were going to be able to spend time with their friends again. Or when they were going to go back to their home even. All she could do was make sure there was enough toilet roll when they need it.
It was a little thing yet it had felt important when she had been at the shop. Though she had to admit that was not so much the case right then.
"Oh Beryl."
They were living in unusual time and so they were having unusual conversations.
And if they were doing things that they would not normally who could blame them. This was weird and alien and unexpected in too many ways.
"I am not going to buy anything else – not unless we actually need it. I am not going to do anything like this again – ever." She shook her head as her friend too her hand in her own. Elsie pressed it.
"I dare say that more than one of us will do or say something we would not normally before all of this is over." And until it was all done maybe none of them should be throwing stones.
Beryl could not admit how grateful she was she had said that.
"We are still friends then."
"Of course we are still friends – and we always will be. For what it's worth – I'm sorry too." She had not meant to make her cry and if she had done, she had not meant too upset Daisy and Ivy. She had just wanted to get to the bottom of things…
After a wee quiet sit together, Beryl went back into the house to go and explain to the girls what she had done. Elsie herself went further out into the gardens and ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head as she did so.
What a day. What a week…
The trials of living together… Beryl, the kids, Carson and she were all used to their own rooms and their space. She had not been aware that the pressure cooker effect had begun already. As one of the adults in the situation it was up to her to try and keep her cool.
But she would do her level best to going forward.
As she headed out to find her solitude, she saw she was not the only one who had had that plan.
The Countess of Grantham was sitting on the very bench she had been heading for.
Elsie had thought she would still be inside trying to settle her girl's in. But then Elsie sometimes forgot that now the girls were women grown, not like Daisy and Ivy. They did not need the countess all the time.
When Elsie had heard his lordship was not going to the abbey she had felt to rather conflicting emotions. One was that actually she did not care either way. Two was that smarting as she still was from her ladyships email; she wanted the gossip as to why that was. Now she was sorry she had had that attitude - it was clear the countess was hurting. Since Cora had got back to Downton Abbey they had not had much of a chance to talk. Both had been busy.
Now it was time to change that. The last of any anger Elsie had for Cora drained away.
"Getting a bit of air milady?" she asked unsure of how ready she was to talk.
It seemed as if she was very far away right then.
"Oh – oh dear, Mrs Hughes forgive me, I did not see you there," Cora smiled gently as she turned her attention to her.
"Not at all. In one way or another I think we are all far away," she was surprised by the next words out her mouth. "I wanted to say thank you for letting us stay here. It was very kind of you and I can't tell you how much having the extra space means to all of us. Especially Ivy and Daisy."
Elsie swallowed, feeling ashamed as she said the words she had never thought she was going too. What shocked her more was that she meant them.
"Ivy and Daisy?"
"Yes Mrs Patmore's girls."
"Oh of course, I do hope they are settling in ok."
Elsie nodded. "I think so." She said as she thought of the events of the morning. She'd have to say sorry to them. "Living all together can be a bit of a learning curve and I guess – I guess I am just taking a bit of time to process how I feel about that," she admitted.
Cora smiled at her typical, Scottish frankness.
"Well I too am taking some time to process. Only for me, I am trying to work out why my husband did not wish to lockdown with me," she said and the pain in her voice was audible. "Sometimes it must pay not to have one," she joked to lighten the mood.
Yet the truth of it was Cora's love hurt her right then.
Elsie was not sure about that. Yes, she had her freedom but you did pay to be on your own in other ways.
"I guess but – but I do work with Mr Carson so maybe I have a small idea."
They shared a smile and a small laugh.
"You are quite right Mrs Hughes. That must be quite enough for any women."
They fell quite for a moment and were enjoying the breeze. Elsie was listening to the bees buzz when Cora spoke once more. "If there is anything any of you need at the moment, you must not hesitate to ask."
"Thank you milady – thank you very much."
They were one community at that moment. And so they would act. Cora mused that in time maybe they were going to be able to help and support the wider community. It was not as if she was going to have her husband to spend time with while they were locked down. So she was going to have to find a way to be useful.
And that was something she was determined herself and the household would be.
X x x
Mary had been halfway through an email when her phone vibration on the table disturbed her. She turned it over and was not entirely surprised to see her father's name appear. She looked over to where Edith was working and wondered whether to tell her he was on the phone – but ultimately she wanted to talk to him on her own.
She got up and left the room, entering the beautiful tall hall which you stepped into when you entered the abbey.
"Papa," she said coolly, answering her phone.
"Mary, my darling, how are you?"
"Confused."
From the start of the call she would bring him up short then.
"And how is your mother?" he asked as he moved on. There was not a lot he could do for her right then. And at least it was one way he could still prioritise Cora.
Mary could only be relieved he still cared enough to ask.
"Furious and rightly so. I still do not understand why you did not come to Yorkshire. Nor does she. Especially not after you said you were going to come." Mary said as a reprimand.
When she had been a young girl, all the telling's off had been one way but that was not the case now.
Robert felt the shame his daughter intended him too.
"I – I have to be in London for work, my darling," he said as way of excuse.
"Well, I will just say the rest of us are managing to work from home and leave it at that." She was not going to get into an argument about whether he could work at home or not for it was clear they were going to have very different ideas on the truth of that and she did not want to argue when they were so far away from one another.
"I just – I did not meant to hurt your mother – or you girls for that matter."
"Well, a bit of honesty might have prevented a lot of that." Mary pointed out as she ran a hand down her face. It was far too late for all that.
"Mary I have no right to ask this but – but please fight my corner when you can."
Her eyes went wide.
"Papa, that is a much bigger task than you seem to describe right now."
He had said it as if it was nothing – but fighting his corner would be difficult, even if she wanted to. Quite frankly, she wasn't sure if she did want to or not.
"Well – then, at least try to think kindly of me in your own head. And do look after your mother."
She had been about to remind him that too was his job. But that wasn't likely to improve matters either.
"I will do my best."
She could not say much more than that and she was not going to. He did not deserve it.
"I do love you all Mary. And I miss you dearly."
She sighed, angry for it had not had to be this way. Not at all.
"We miss you too. It is just such a shame when all of this could have been so easily avoided."
He paused. No she would not let them away with any of it.
"I will talk to you soon, darling," he said to her before he hung up.
"Goodbye papa."
Mary felt as if she had been turned to stone without knowing why. If things were normal then she would have sorted what was going on. But things were not normal.
She breathed in deeply, composed herself and went back to her lap top.
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