When I say I'm okay, what I really mean is, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that lies have torn us apart and turned us into monsters.
I'm sorry that you think that everything you are is a godsend.
I'm sorry that I could achieve more than you despite that fact that you have everything.
When I say I'm okay, what I really mean is, I'm wishing.
I'm wishing that you weren't so blind to see the truth.
I'm wishing that you took the time to see my side of the story and understand my pain.
I'm wishing that you would take a step back and look at all the pain you've caused me.
When I say I'm okay, what I really mean is, I'm happy.
I'm happy that you're happy at watching me cower in pain.
I'm happy that you no longer have to be "burdened" by me.
I'm happy that you can finally move on knowing that I am no longer in your way.
When I say I'm okay, what I really mean is, I'm hurt.
I'm hurt that you took all my friends away from me.
I'm hurt that you took my social life away from me.
I'm hurt that you've "converted" everyone onto your side.
When I say I'm okay, what I really mean is, I hate you.
I hate the fact that you have brought up past problems and used them against me.
I hate the fact that you have triggered so many mental problems for me.
I hate the fact that I have to get pushed, cut and bruised only for you to still be blinded by the lies.
When I say I'm okay, what I really mean is, I'm okay.
I'm okay with you destroying my life.
I'm okay with you making me feel useless.
I'm okay with you making every breathe I take, a living hell.
But I still put up with all your shit because I know that one day I will come out on top over all of this and you be the one in my position. However, unlike you, I will be there to pick up the pieces. I know I shouldn't be, but I will always be there for you.
Basically, I've been going through a lot of shit these past weeks and I've lost everything. All my friends hate me and no one wants to know me anymore. It's gotten to a point where I can't even move schools because words spread and all my local schools hate me.
I want to continue writing for these books but I've gotten to a point where where all this stress is killing me so I'm going to be putting all my books on hold for a while, I'm sorry. (I wrote this little poem thing for all those 'difficult' people in my life).