The Horvitz incest surprise
Horvitz House is a nice and simple story, compared to a relaxing ride by an online friend of mine. In fact the only thing they mentioned that could ruin the experience would be if the baby came out with white hair and there was mention of 'fun juice' at the family reuinion nine months prior…
Well now wouldn't THAT be a twist:
"Dammit Leni!" Groaned Lincoln. "Why did you even tell me? We would have guessed it was a gene on your side!"
"Well Chaz's man-berries were empty-"
"Infertile sweetheart, I'm infertile but they're not empty-"
"And you were totes into it-"
"Drunk Leni!" Lincoln snapped. "I was drunk enough for this to sound like a good idea."
"And now he gets to have two Dads and Mommy! It's totes progessor!"
"... I can't stay mad at you." Lincoln sighed. "Just don't tell anyone else; your/our kid doesn't need this over their head. And I don't want to be known as-"
SMASH!
Lynn Loud came through the door like a deranged drink advert, followed by a smattering of sisters as she carried a bottle of Jack Daniels in her other hand.
"Hey Leni!"
"Hi Lynn!" Leni waved with her non-baby bearing hand. "Did you come to see my baby?"
"Aww yeah I did, but I also heard the sperm bank was open for business so me an' the girls here are taking Linc for a spin later- gotta get the squirt out before the Olympics you know!"
"What the fuck?" Asked Lincoln in a flat voice, his processing centres having given up on life.
"Not in front of the kid!" Declared The Chaz. "Take it outside!"
"Yeah, yeah no swearing or fun times in front of the baby boy" Lynn leaned down to her first nephew. "Heya squirt; guess who's favourite auntie came to see you!"
Leni's progeny said nothing. Because it was only a few days old and still questioning why it has been evicted.
"Ahh he'll come around," Lynn dismissed with one hand.
"He totes will!" Agreed Leni "But maybe he could use some cute cousins..." her attempted coyness would have been pitiful on anyone else but was merely cute on her.
"Don't worry; that's what the incest juice here is for!" Lynn brandished her bottle.
"Ohh; I thought it was 'fun juice' though?" Questioned the new mother.
"It's probably a branding thing." Affirmed The Chaz.
"Incest jui- Lynn I'm still processing everything but no." Affirmed Lincoln. "I- what the hell even happened? How did we get here?"
"Same way we're going to get into the Alabama hall of fame; some help from Jack and a whole lotta fu-"
"Language!" Reminded The Chaz.
"Sorry Chaz. Anyway girls grab the sperm bank and lets go!"
The half a dozen mob of sisters promptly grabbed the protesting platinum blond man and dragged him away as Leni cheerfully waved them off.
"Do you think he'll be alright?" Asked The Chaz.
"Totes!" Confirmed the happy mother. "And you get to be an Uncle with Auntie Leni in nine months!"
Dust cloud Brawls in Horvitz House:
Do you think Dust Cloud Brawls still happen in the future? Does Leni still participate even while pregnant?
Well obviously.
"Leni no you're pregnant!" Chaz desperately tried to hold his round wife from the vortex of raging siblings.
"Lemme go honey!" Demanded Leni. "That so and so made everyone think Jorts were in season!"
"They are!" Asserted Lori, moments before Lynn's fist filled her mouth. Leni broke her husband's grip with sudden ease and jumped in with a finesse that no one would believe could have come from a pregnant woman.
"Don't worry son," Lynn Sr reassured his son in law with a firm pat to one shoulder. "That's a Loud baby, they're made of tough stuff."
"I sure hope so- WERE THOSE EYEBALLS?"
"Ahh, looks like Lisa done both of them now!"
A theory about Lisa Funtime Machine
Omega Ultra's: Lisa Loud's Funtime Machine! Is a fun porn story about the various Louds having their various fanon fetishes fulfilled under the waver thin justification of Lisa testing an invention. In chapter 6 however it is revealed that she was doing something else at the same time as her siblings were 'occupied'.
This was one proposed purpose to her antics:
One month after chapter 6:
"So let's get this straight; you tricked at least two (probably a lot more) of your siblings into pregnancy with some random person's jizz-"
"I prefer the term 'anonymous donor' ."
"Shut up Leese."
"Very well, continue your inane moralising at will."
"You impregnated your sisters with a 'sperm donation' for unknown purposes, and you expected us to be fine with it? Why? How? WHAT THE FUCK LEESE!?" Lori's eyes bulged, behind her the distressed and disturbed siblings gathered in judgement.
"Please cease your pointless emotional outbursts-"
"LISA!"
"- street phrase: 'calm your tits' ."
"Lisa I think she's actually going to kill you if you keep this up," the sole boy warned.
"I ain't stoppin' her this time neither." Confirmed Luna.
"I was more concerned with her blood pressure causing further issues in her advancing age; but I digress." The scientist pointedly took a sip of tea as Lincoln and some slightly less angry siblings prevented a homicide. "Now as I was saying there was a very good reason for all of this-"
"But not one we could know beforehand, otherwise we wouldn't agree right?" A now broken lipped Lincoln snapped. "How did you get all this stuff set up anyway? Why use us, hell why did you want my cum-"
His eyes suddenly widened.
"I suggest you calm yourself dear Brother, you will have your answers and more if-"
"Shut the fuck up Leese; why did you want his baby juice?" Lynn demanded, a new dread forming alongside her future offspring.
"Those are contradictory demands-"
"Where did you get the sperm for this in the first place Lisa?" Lincoln's voice shook. "I need to know-"
"Half the room needs to know!" Asserted Lori. "So yeah, let's start with that question."
"... Well, my main reasons aside, there are certain debates in the scientific community about the merits of 'Line Breeding'-"
The beating that followed is how Lisa finally learnt to hide her experiments a bit better.
A/N
Just a series of ficlets that I shot between myself and some other writers, one of them encouraged me to publish them and so I complied them into this. The next chapter is entirely based on a darkly funny version of my fic 'Tattling', and after that we'll see what happens.
LAT is up for updating in a week or two, it's far more plot heavy than I orginally planned but the outline and plans are all there. It's all a matter of making sure the execution goes well :)
