Without Sin is an interesting fic about how a Safehouse Lincoln might see the Sin Kids verse, of course in that story Safehouse is utterly miserable due having to live in what he sees as a weird incest cult and all the dicking over he gets at the hands of circumstance.

Why does that have to stop when he gets home? :D

Without Sin: Safehouse's Sad Salutations.

"Mr Loud?"

"Hnng" Lincoln felt himself moan, turning away from the voice.

"Mr Loud!" He suddenly felt himself pulled onto his back, and blinked into the summer glare. "Sorry but- you nearly rolled into traffic!"

Above him was one of his neighbours, a middle aged woman that occasionally gave him the stink eye when he smoked. Right now she was looking unsettled and more than slightly distressed.

"I- what are you even doing?" Her polite facade cracked and she jumped back as he drew himself to sitting position.

"… Where am I?" His head was pounding, whatever machine Lisa had used was obviously not as refined as his sister's.

"Where ar- you're on the sidewalk, my sidewalk," the neighbour lady huffed, and threw her hands up as she pointedly walked back into her house. Lincoln shook head, and as his eyes cleared sure enough; Franklin Avenue.

The street looked nigh identical to the one he had seen a day ago, save a few ornaments here and there were missing or replaced. That and the Loud House.

His Loud House, absent of the assorted detritus that accumulated with a house of a dozen children. Unlike the one he had just been in.

It had worked, the perverse counterpart to his sister had finally succeeded! He couldn't help but let out a childish whoop of glee as he bounced up like he was still eleven and rushed across the street to his home, barely remembering to check both ways to avoid an embarrassing end to his interdimensional ordeal.

He nearly tripped twice, once on the lawn and again on the steps up to the porch but he caught himself both times. Neatly landing with both feet he threw himself at the door and-

Landed with a thump into it, oh right there's a lock.

He facepalmed at his own giddy stupidity, sure he was in regular clothes unlike his last 'trip', but he'd emptied his pockets of all the alternate Lincoln's keys and belongings that the pervert would need when he returned. Good for him, as for the non-kiddie diddling version he was stuck outside his own house-

Wait, was it his house?

There was the sound of multiple people mulling about indoors, and since the house didn't look stripped of what valuables it had outside they probably weren't thieves. Did Lisa get more renters?

It would make sense if anyone had wanted to share space with a national scandal. There were a lot of people indoors from what he could hear, but the likelihood of the Loud family having a reunion at their old house at the exact moment he managed to get back his home dimension -shut up mental Lisa I know that's a direction not an alternate universe- were slim to none.

They could maybe have gathered together if they found out he was missing but that was dependent if they had noticed. It had been a long time since any of them had been closer than irregular acquaintances and most of the time they seemed to prefer to pretend he didn't exist outside of mad-scientist wrangling.

Well maybe that was unfair. But, the bottom line was that their lives had diverged a long time ago and for better or worse and whosever's fault it was; he wasn't really part of any of theirs anymore.

But reminiscing on his long separated family wasn't going to help anything, if they had gathered to discuss his predicament they probably would have done it months ago. Alternate Lisa had mentioned their relative times were synced, so it wasn't like some fairytale thing where he spent months there to come back to a week having passed here.

So who was in the house?

If he had to guess… Lisa had lost the house after his counterpart had probably failed to pay the bills. Pedo-Lincoln might have been some towering figure of respect and all round family love (in all the worst ways) in his own dimension, but unless he could make up for years of sweat and effort then there was no way he could have done the actual Lincoln's job. After that, Clyde probably couldn't make up the shortfall if he wanted and Lisa wouldn't be able to either with her accounts frozen/seized and another weird machine that in hindsight would probably have been frowned upon by the government.

She might even have been taken away in chains for breaking parole if they thought it was dangerous, which would both explain why the fuck it had taken her chemical weapons making terrorist of a counterpart to fix the problem. The thought brought a bitter smile to his face, then a scowl as he thought about where else Pedo-Linc would have gone after that. Even if the rest of his sisters didn't want him, which would have made sense if he finally proved them right about not being able to make it, his parents had probably taken him in. But if they hadn't…

The man clearly had no issues touching children or with incest with anyone that wasn't his own kid. Lincoln began to sweat; if Pedo-Linc had tried to spread his 'gospel', or had just tried to satisfy himself with a kid then-

He could be a convicted criminal, his alternate could have vanished from his cell and left Lincoln to take the heat. Hell, he could have just tried putting on the moves on one of Lincoln's sisters and have gotten him branded a pervert permanently if Lisa wasn't around to confirm the swap.

So there he was, standing outside what might not be his house, with no money, no I.D. and possibly on the run for paedophilia that his other self had gleefully indulged in.

He started laughing to himself, of course this is what he came home to. Well, might as well see if I know who's inside.

The front door windows were cleaner than they'd been the last time he'd seen them, but there was no one directly behind them. Instead he pressed himself to the right of the front door and carefully snuck his head to see directly into the dining room, seeing first a curtain, then a carpet with some shoe-clad feet standing upon it and finally-

There she was, just hidden behind a blond woman- Lisa Loud. The Crazed Cloning Cunt who sentenced him to months as a Burpin' Burger Manager because she'd clearly lied through her teeth about the chances of this going tits up. There was also the minor issue of the deranged incest cult, the constant emasculation from multiple paedophilic alternate sisters, the baseless judgment from a (albeit reformed) Lushy Luna and the… thing with Lily.

God he wished he'd never known.

On the other hand he'd finally gotten a good roast in:

"What's that Luna?" He bitterly laughed, "Lemy's still a child? Yeah it's just awful that someone would do that to him. Say; how old was the other me when you made Lyra again?

Just a bit older?

Okay, let's let Lily know she should have waited for the pubes to finish growing in first, she might be confused though since you didn't with her."

Then he drained a beercan before dropping it like a microphone.

Yeah no; it hadn't actually gone anything like that but the sentiments were there.

But all of that was suddenly chased from his mind as Lisa suddenly stopped blabbering with whoever the fuck she liked to chit-chat with rather than work on fixing her mistake and spotted him. Apparently white hair doesn't make for good concealment; who knew. For moment they were both frozen in shock, then she smiled for a moment and… giggled?

Whatever expression he switched to seemed to make her reconsider, and her own features suddenly shifted to something like dread as she looked him over.

Good.

He still didn't know what the fuck was going on, what 'fun' Pedo-Linc had gotten up to in his absence or if he should expect to go to jail for it. But the answers were right there for the taking.

He promptly shoved himself to the front door again and considered his course of action: for the first time in months he felt true freedom to decide his own life, rather than being 'convinced' to be the Chief Burger Fool of the town and live the lie of being the father to multiple rape children.

"DING! DONG! WHO ORDERED A BEATING!?" Yeah no; whatever merits sanity had faded in favour of the knowledge that Lisa was in strangling distance and in that meant he could at least get in some payback before the paddy wagon came for his ass.

He didn't bother waiting for it to open and prepared to smash it in like the cheap wood it was- Suddenly he found himself breathless on the floor, looking up into the eyes of Lynn Loud.

"Nice try dickhe- Lincoln?" She released his arm in confusion and let it flop beside him, from his position he could see the ceiling, and very quickly the heads of his sisters as they came over in a seemingly thunderous wave.

His sisters, or at least ones without the haircuts of their incestuous counterparts. He quickly put it together, Lynn had heard his battle cry and opened the door to throw the assumed burglar inside, knocking the wind out of him in the process. Now she and her sisters were confused as to why their brother had tried to break into (presumably) his own house.

"Hey guys, long time no see…" he wheezed, feeling every vertebrae throb as one.

"You saw us ten minutes ago dumbass," Lynn's eyes narrowed, but she grabbed his arm to pull him up in one movement. "How come you tried to go cool-aid on the front door?"

"Because-" wait; ten minutes ago he'd been passed out and before that-

They'd been speaking with Pedo-Linc.

He quickly tried to assess the situation, his sisters seemed concerned but not disgusted or infuriated. All ten of them had gathered, a rare occurrence before he went AWOL- well absent with a monster in his place anyway.

"Linc- Linc?" Lynn was snapping her fingers in front his face. "Jeeze I didn't hit you that hard!"

"I dunno my dudes," issued Luna's thankfully rough and tumble voice, not the slightly weaker one of her alternate. "We came running cause of how loud it was, sounded like you were throwin' a bookshelf around."

"Maybe we should let Lisa take a look," Leni's concerned face melted his heart. The first bit of true familial affection and worry he'd had in… years.

It had been years even before the swap.

Wait; LISA! His eyes found the disarrayed mop from the crowd in a second, she'd tried to hide in the back but as their eyes met he knew his new goal in life. Fuck comics, his career was probably toast anyway; time to earn a homicide charge.

Okay maybe not; but at least an assault was in order for her fuckery.

"Maybe we should take him to a professional instead," the business-suited Lori corrected. Yes, good Lori, be sane and sensible; not a child grooming loony who guided her family into madness….

"Yeah maybe," Lynn suddenly grinned, she'd apparently had an idea and lightly kicked the door closed. Lincoln raised an eyebrow in curiosity then-

Why was his mouth suddenly filled with a wet snake?

How come Lynn was so close?

Why was this so familiar-

This time Lynn was the one thrown aside, stumbling into the wall as Lincoln choked on her spit.

"WHAT THE- I was just getting a kiss!"

"YOU DID AGAIN YOU INCOMPETENT BITCH!" He screamed, hot tears running down his face. "NEVER TRUST- FUUUCK!"

"Who did what again?" Lola asked in confusion.

"Like, has Lynn been cutting in on our Lincy time for extra kisses?" Leni pouted.

"I think we need to have a sit down." Lori sighed, attempting to take charge as the crowd started to murmur.

Lincoln threw himself back against the door, and his eyes found Lisa again. There- there was the…

No. It isn't her.

It was just another alternate, between Lynn's kiss and Leni's words obviously whatever world he'd been sent to was another one with some kind of incest-arrangement. His head throbbed, but his logic quickly assembled itself into cohesion.

"Fuuuck…" he moaned. "Round two it is!"

Okay Lincoln, last time we got off on the wrong foot with the Alabama Louds, let's keep this civil and maybe we can skip the ball busting.

"What're you blabbin' about bruv?" Luna's hand was guiding him to the couch, concerned sisters surrounding him while giving the protesting Lynn the stink eye.

"I just- I think it's going to be a long story." He sighed as he plopped down, the family sans their parents and whatever next generation they'd popped out arranging themselves around him.

"Ahem!" Lisa cleared her throat and produced one of her many scanners. "I believe I can shorten it, if you allow for a sample of-"

A quick observation confirmed it was a similar scanner to another one the other incestuous Lisa had produced in her efforts to get her Lincoln back and him home. Seems this Lisa is as sharp as the others at least, maybe she'll have better luck. "Sure, whatever you need."

Lisa nodded and carefully plucked one of his head hairs with some tweezers, then fed it into the machine. The rest of the girls looked on the machine with… dread? Why do they even know what it is- the machine suddenly let out a confirmation beep.

"It is as I expected," Lisa confirmed with sudden coldness to her tone. "This is the original Lincoln."

"Yep, sorry to tell you this but your Lincoln is- wait what?" Lincoln twisted his head back to her upon fully processing her words.

"Does mean the other Linky is gone?" Leni's sad voice queried.

"So it would seem," Lisa adjusted her glasses with clearly false impartiality. "If I would guess, it would seem that my counterpart has finally managed to reverse the initial swap. Ladies; we have our brother back."

The room was silent.

But Lincoln's mind span in circles.

"Soo… this is my home." He finally asked.

"Yes, you are the Lincoln native to this universe as proven by my device and your… heavier physique compared to your alternate." Lisa confirmed, switching off said device with a sharp click.

Something was very wrong. "But Lynn kissed me."

"Again, another fact." Lisa's tone remained cold, infuriating something inside him but still drowned out by the wheels of his mind.

"And you're all here, just on the same day that I come home?"

"We've been living together for months," Leni corrected with half hidden sadness. "All us, together… but we're really happy you're home Linky!"

Her voice warbled with clear deceit.

Lincoln's mind came to a conclusion, rejected it, and re-presented it as a theory for the outside world to hopefully disprove. He looked around at the depressed faces around him and remained calm for now.

"Lisa, I think you should start at the beginning."


"FUCK THEM!" He slammed the beer down.

"Son I don't disagree, but you're not doing yourself any favours with how fast your-"

"FUCK YOU TOO- " he looked at his father's broken eyes and his mother's drained face. "No, no you're right; I'm sorry."

Lynn Loud Sr sighed. "It's okay, I'm just glad I have one child that hasn't gone completely cracked."

"It was awful," Rita Loud sniffled. "Just one by one, each would just abandon her life and move in to the old house, the rest would be as angry as us but then the last one would come and invite someone else to come and see and the cycle would start again until no one was left."

"Then we found out what really happening in that old house- we tried to get it back you know but it was in your name-"

"Not anymore," he grimly corrected. "Lori had Pedo-Linc-"

"Pedo-Linc?" His father's eyebrows drew together.

"What I'm calling that bastard, you know why. Anyway Pedo-Linc signed it over when they moved in so Lori could take of everything. So I'm homeless now on top of jobless and everything else," he sighed.

"You can stay with us honey," his mother reached forward. "You have no idea what seeing you, the real you is like."

"I can't imagine what living in that hellhole was like," Lynn Sr seemed to have aged another decade since he'd last seen him. Lincoln could empathise, at least his white hair helped disguise whatever grey ones had sprouted from the madness of being sent to the other world.

And coming home. Then losing home, and most of his family for not being him.

Also his career, considering he was basically blacklisted for producing garbage. You can come back from a lot of things but continual fuckups as a noted illustrator? Nah, stick a fork in it that dream's done.

"Thank Mom, thanks Dad," he sighed. "I just… you know what happened?"

"Only what they tried to justify to us," Lynn Sr drew in a long drag from his own beer. "I take it they gave you a bit more?"

"Did they tell you about the swap?"

"Nah, we just knew something was off when we saw the…" Rita took a drink from her whisky; she was drinking slower so they remained at the same level of inebriation.

"The Bastard," father and son said at the same time, they looked at each other across the table and Lincoln let himself laugh. His father snorted and let out a chuckle of his and when his mother joined in the small apartment felt full.

Finally the blessed joy passed. "How did you know?"

"We didn't know details, but the way he talked and moved; it was all wrong. You don't just change like that, not without something going wrong up in the brain" Rita nodded with Lynn's assessment. "We actually thought Lisa had gone and topped the cloning thing, maybe replaced you with something from a vat, and when the rest went…"

"You thought it was some Pod People thing?"

"Basically," Rita slurped more whisky. "Or she was brainwashing you for some.. purpose."

"Well you came close I guess," Lincoln drained more beer. "At first it was an accident, then when he came along both Clyde and her hated him as much as he deserves."

"She sure seems to like him now," his father gruffly remarked.

"Fuck them both." He snapped. "Anyway he eventually managed to worm his way in with Lisa, don't ask me how; she just said 'arguments based on logic' and something about the 'artificial nature of societal morality'. Clyde did what any sensible person would when Pedo-Linc tried to put the moves on him, no I don't know if he's bi or whatever. Maybe he was just pent up, but either why Clyde fucked right off but didn't tell anyone since they were the only chance he knew I had of getting home."

"Leni was the first one," Mom whispered. "She was worried since you didn't return her calls."

"A shame she didn't call before then," Lincoln grimaced. Yes Leni, show an interest just after I leave the dimension. Nah I don't need any help, I'm just the guy you all dumped the clone crazy sister on. "Anyway apparently she was easy pickings compared to Lisa, then Lori came in to investigate and…"

"They fell like fucking dominoes," Lynn sighed. "I don't get it, he's just you-"

"He's not me," Lincoln snapped.

"Sorry Son, but what I meant was that he was normal except for the… thing."

"Your father's right honey, if you didn't know any better you would think he your average man, just with white hair." Rita reassured him.

"Well apparently he's very persuasive," Lincoln grimaced again as the bitter beer hit his throat. "That and it turns out that the rest of the family were apparently missing the old closeness, looks like that was his 'in'."

"The girls were lonely?" Lynn Sr raised an eyebrow. "They all had their own circles, their own lives, some even have kids-"

"They hate me by the way," Lincoln stared off. "It's worse than you'd expect because I'm pretty sure some are disappointed like their moms-"

Rita nearly vomited in her mouth, spilling some whisky.

"Yep, that was how I reacted too," the nonplussed Lincoln took another sip, before handing her a paper towel. "So it looks like it wasn't so much they were lonely but that they missed being together like they used to, and Pedo-Linc exploited that to remake the old family."

"Did they actually admit that?" Lynn Sr helped his wife up as she went to clean herself off with some towels.

"I read between the lines," Lincoln muttered. "So anyway eventually their kids came home from school and Lisa hid me in the basement to avoid explaining why 'Uncle Lincoln' was 'heavier' than this morning, and I noticed that the machine was dusty. She tried to escape the question but when I asked her if she'd stopped looking for me she couldn't look me in the eye, so I just left instead."

"Damn," Lynn Sr shook his head. "I guess she must of thought it was a two way thing, get one Lincoln and you lose the other."

Lincoln tried to drink more, but found his can empty; his father stopped him when he reached for another and the white haired man let his hand fall to his lap instead. "It made sense, she already had the machine that sent me there, so she should have had a way easier time finding me than the other Lisa who had to start basically from scratch. The only reason that the other one could have made it first was if she'd stopped in the first place."

"I'm sorry Son."

"Thanks Dad," Lincoln sighed. "I guess if nothing else I still have you two."

"Do you think they'll go back to normal now?" His father asked, pleaded really.

Lincoln tried to match his eyes, but looked away. "I don't know Dad, I hope so."


Lori Loud stood before an old projector screen in the basement, her sisters and their more 'enthusiastic' offspring in arrangement before her. She wore her old army jacket and snapped her stick to the projected words;

"Very well ladies; we have established that retrieving the other Lincoln is not an option."

The crowd groaned.

"I feel the same way, but we can overcome this, and we must. Surely the other Lisa and her sisters are no less tenacious than we, and any conflict would be a stalemate." Lori sighed. "Likewise for other alternative Lincolns that match the general profile."

"If I can reliably find them at all," Lisa informed, standing on the other side of the projector screen. "Trans-universal navigation is considerably more difficult than you can appreciate."

"Yes, that" Lori rolled her eyes. "But luckily, Leni has proposed a solution-"

"OHHH!" Leni squee'd. "Are we going to seduce our Linky!?"

"That was the core of our strategy yes," Lisa confirmed.

"But," Lori raised a finger to silence the incoming questions, before using her clicker to change the projection to outline the issues with seducing Lincoln. "We quickly realised that a simple seduction wouldn't work; our Lincoln has years of societal programming to undo and unlike our alternate counterparts we don't have the luxury of getting him when he's young and hormonal."

"So how're we gonna get him them?" Luna asked, her daughter sitting beside her with rapt attention.

"We had two plans, our first was a long term plan to gradually condition him across a period of months to relax his 'boundaries' to the original ten sisters with look a likes," she clicked and revealed a series of photos including Carol Pingrey. "They would seduce him, first getting him used to multiple relationships, then pushing him into more taboo areas."

Lisa spoke up, "finally, we would swap ourselves with said look a likes while emulating their appearances, and enjoy a mass orgy upon the completion of which we would reveal the setup. Then; use any and all identifiable mental fissures our dear brother has developed from his time in the other world to collapse whatever reservations he has left. There was a mild chance of complete catatonia, but I believe that with enough preparation we would be able to remould him even if a complete breakdown occurs. Indeed we may be able to reshape him into being more like the man who we knew a few days ago."

"So what are we waiting for," Lynn grinned. "We've got our game plan, let's go!"

"Actually we decided not to go with this plan at all," Lori switched off the projector.

"Aww; why not?" Lola whined.

"Yeah, it sounds fun!" Lana asserted.

"Are we respecting Linky's personal boundaries?" Asked a confused Leni. "I thought we didn't do that."

"Yeah no we're not," Lori shook her head, and snapped the projector screen up to reveal a white helmet. "It turns out Lisa has a brainwashing helmet so we're just using that instead."

The room erupted into cheers, and Lincoln Loud suddenly awoke on his parent's couch in a cold sweat.

A/N:

I actually quite enjoy Without Sin, flaws and all. But Safehouse seems to survive in that world by clinging to hope of going home, so what better way to properly shaft him by taking that hope and turning it the nightmare he escaped from but without hope of a wholesome end.

Lily having Lemy's child is a theory at the moment, but we'll see how it actually plays out in the fanfic proper. I doubt that Safehouse could get away with that kind of roast anyway considering the tensions between him and the sisters without the explosive emotions that scenario would entail. But this Lincoln can pretend for a moment, he's having it rough.

LAT should be up in a few days, I was expecting it to be faster but sentiment crept in and somehow Lynn's chapter is having more 'feels' of various sorts than Luna's. The tomboy had far more soft feelings in her than was anticipated, and while I think it improves the overall fic it does take more time to do properly. Fortunately Luan is canonically something of a less R-rated Jigsaw when she's allowed, so her chapter should be easier to write (save for her puns of course).

Special thanks to Nuuo for reading over the chapter before uploading :)