Nuuo was kind enough to suggest that the 'Blond Hunters' from the fourth chapter might not only comprise more than just Stella and Ronnie Anne, but actually be something of a 'club' started by a younger pubescent Luna. From there it expanded into a back on forth where it was decided that in that ficlet's timeline that the entire nonsense started with a younger Lynn Sr, who has calmed down after ten children, and the obsession has been passed down in the blood of every Loud, but mainly manifesting in the brunettes of the family.

Of course; this would also probably the only way that the girls would consider the fragile boy who moved in dating material any time soon anyway. Even without the incest problem that they usually have, they've only known him for a few days and he's a bit of a mess.

But this raised the question of how he would deal with his home life once they found out about his hair…

The Family Curse

"Just stay on Leni's bed," Lori sighed. The boy dutifully sat on the bed of the second oldest, trembling as he tried to cover his white locks with both hands. The poor boy's clothes were in tatters, shredded by the constant pulling between sisters that his return home had devolved into.

He had been first chased from school by the blond-crazed girls (and the odd boy) from Luna's club, then rushed home with a deranged Luna herself on his heels. Finally upon entering without his precious beanie (for it had been torn from him earlier) both Lynn and Luan's ovaries had apparently been triggered and the inevitable mobbing had begun, ending when Lori had come in, understood the situation and just grabbed the boy and dragged him out of the creepiest dust cloud brawl the house had seen.

As it was; he sat there in white undies and some rags that could have been a shirt at one point.

"LET US IN LORI!" Her door suddenly shuddered as the crowd of siblings tried to break through.

"GET LOST!" The eldest's commanding voice brook no nonsense, and the crowd devolved from rampaging screams to disaffected murmurs. "I've blocked the vents too, so don't bother sending Lucy to open the door!"

"Dang it..." Lucy sighed from the tied up vent grill, Lori suddenly glaring at her before the false brunette retreated.

"W-w-what's happening?" The traumatised boy stuttered, too utterly destroyed to try and repress it. "I-I"

"It's the blond thing," Lori groaned. "Look, we don't like each other; and that's fine because I'm going to college next year anyway. But apparently no one bothered to let you in on the 'family curse' so it's up to me- like always- to do it instead."

The shy boy peaked from under his hands, still visibly shaken. "C-curse?"

"Well Lisa thinks it's just- look there's a few different 'theories' floating around," Lori using finger quotes around 'theories'. "But all you need to know is that our family REALLY likes blondes, like to a disturbing degree."

"I-is that why-"

"That's why they were banging on the door and trying to-" Lori stopped and considered his age. Boys were perverts, but Rita would probably get on her case if she heard that Lincoln had learned some new words from her. " 'Unclothe' you a minute ago."

"A-and at school?" Lincoln relaxed slightly, pulling his arms from his hair to instead try and arrange his tattered shirt into something to warm him a bit. "There a-a bunch of girls who tried to chase me into the boys bathroom when they saw my hair"

"Hunh?" Lori blinked, then remembered. "Ohh, is Luna's little freak club still going? Yeah she started something like that when she hit puberty. Heh... literally went from trying to shave off the hair of every blonde in the school out of jealousy to trying to... um... 'get their number'."

"Oh.." the boy relaxed. "I thought they were going to beat me up, or do something else. Maybe I overreacted-"

You know what, Rita would be angrier if she mislead the brat into getting molested than if he knew some bad words. "Look, I was being evasive. They're gonna rape you."

"... what?" His squeaked.

"Rape you." Lori shuddered, "they'll hold you down, shove a carrot or something up your butt to get you stiff and take turns. Trust me; it's happened before and now Jim Harrison is paying child support at 12."

The boy stared at her in horror.

"Yeah, Luna's little club doesn't fuck around." Well actually they did- that was the problem. "Just stick with your friend group and-"

"One them is part of the-"

"Jesus Chr- just get a vasectomy from Lisa."

"I'm 11!"

"So was Jim." Lori sighed and flopped on her bed. "Look, they'll get over the worst of this in a few days. Even Luna didn't actually try and go full non-con on someone, that stuff started after she left. Once they get used to the white hair they'll calm down -not the ones at school I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with them- but until then just avoid the brunettes of the family and you'll be golden."

She heard him shuffle a bit, and saw that he was approaching her, half holding up his 'shirt'. "So it's only the darker haired ones?"

Lori rolled her eyes and sat up again. "Lucy dyes so she's fine when she's not being bribed to help the others, but yeah. Literally everyone except Dad and the blondes go nuts when they see someone like you. Dad used to be worse, but he mellowed out after he met Mom- my Mom."

The boy hesitated, trying to say something. He honestly looked ridiculous, like some cartoony Lion had mauled him but somehow left his skin only scratched rather than ripped open. His jeans were long gone along with his shoes, but he had valiantly retained one sock. His white underwear was on clear display with a suspiciously stretched look to it and his torso was almost bare if not for the ragged remains of his orange polo, a single white chest hair gleamed in the light from one of the bare patches it bore.

He was too ridiculous to hate.

Lori sighed and invited him onto the bed, the traumatised child gratefully scooted next to her. Lori summoned all of her well-honed big sister practice and let an arm fall around him, waiting a second for his tensed shoulder to relax before pulling him in to her side.

It was easier than she expected.

"Look, twerp. I'm not going to lie and say that I liked having you and your mom come into our lives, but you're here now. For better or worse it looks like we're going to have to live together, and at least for year... I'm going to have to be your big sister."

The boy stared up at her with a question in his big eyes, and for the first time he seemed be a bit like the cute doll that Leni claimed he was.

Lori shook off the thought, "I guess- most of the time I don't like other people in my room. But as long as you don't try anything stupid then you can hide in here, I'll let you have the code for the lock and you can just come in I guess- but only if the others are being stupid again."

The boy nodded gratefully but kept a bit of distance between them. This annoyed her a bit; she wasn't trying to jump down his throat anymore so-

Oh right; she hadn't been treating him exactly well.

No time to start like the present though.

She let her arm loosen for a moment, then swept it under the boys arm to pull him in close. Accidentally her fingers and palm clasped through one of the bare patches and grabbed his bare skin just where his soft stomach began and ribs ended, but she ignored the smooth skin and drew him in. The snowy haired doll next to her gave a little eep and looked at her with another question.

"Like; we're bonding I guess," Lori shrugged, not entirely sure herself. The boy accepted this and awkwardly tried to rest against her. Tried being the key word, for some reason he was still hanging back a little.

Lori sighed and gently stuffed him in against her, letting his snowy head rest against her chest and in turn rested her own chin on top of his fair locks. Absently she started hum to him like she would one of the littler twerps after Mom died and he relaxed a bit more, and as he did she lay back jostling him a little to shift her legs up beneath him. It took a moment, but there they were; Lori laying on her bed with both arms wrapped around the boy, long legs half clasped around him as she hummed a lullaby to lull him to rest

Despite himself Lincoln couldn't help but finally relax, enclosed in the protective arms of someone he never thought would help him. It looked like Mom was right, sometimes people aren't looking to hurt you they just needed time...

Lori smirked as the boy fell into a nap, snoring a little from the position. She couldn't help but giggle as she felt him twitch a bit and get comfier, and his head lolled into her chest. Cheeky little boy was using her tit like a pillow.

Yeah, she would too in his place; she'd finally inherited Mom's figure and while they were heavy on her back, her girls were prime snuggling material (certified by Santiago Snugglers, trademark pending). Now blondest boy in the world was squishing half his face into her soft flesh.

Heh, half an hour ago she would have ripped his balls off, now she was letting him live the dream of most of the greedy boys in High School. She snuggled in a bit more herself and breathed in his surprisingly clean scent, she'd be a filthy liar if the locks tickling her nose weren't as every bit as soft as Leni had squealed about.

The boy nuzzled her a bit, and she was pretty sure if she wasn't wearing a bra that his mouth would been right at the position to-

She froze, and her humming stopped.

How the fuck did I get here?

She was half clamped around the twerp- Rita's brat, practically letting him suckle her like a baby! To what, make him feel better? She was going to shove him off when something caught her attention; she was warm.

Her first thought was that he might have wet himself, for all she knew he still wet the bed. But it was with dawning horror that she recognised the sensation from somewhere else, even as a new pang rushed through her as his white hair filled her vision.

"Oooh fuck." She moaned, and like a broken dam she was suddenly all too aware of every exposed inch of the boy's body, his white hairs, the tighty-whities enclosing-

No. Fuck that. She tried to force the thought away, but a part of her was very much against ignoring it.

Was this what they felt like when puberty started? Did they have some crises when they knew what was happening but were helpless as they turned anyway- No! She was supposed to be immune to their stupid 'curse' but…

He's sooo blond- would our babies have his eyes or-

No! Bad Lori, remember sweet Bobby and his cute… smile and dark hair and his not being in elementary school… not being a blond little angel utterly helpless in her locked room, semi unwrapped by her considerate sisters and ready to be pinned dow-

She tossed Lincoln off the bed, and he woke with a start.

"Oww!" He whinged and rubbed the sore spot where he had landed. "I-"

"Look twerp- I," ooh his big betrayed eyes melted her heart, all she wanted do was sweep him up and-

Lori suddenly slapped herself, the loud crack shocking Lincoln. She glared down and forced herself back into line. "Look, it seems like I was wrong."

"About what?" He asked, but suddenly his eyes shifted down and his pupils shrunk.

Lori took a quick glance down and- well it wasn't like she didn't have literally half a dozen of the same shorts. "About that; obviously. Apparently you're so blond it's even getting to me- so what we're going to do is-"

"One of Us!" Luan's voice cackled through the door.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP LUAN!" She screamed.

"No, she right; One of Us…" Lynn's gleeful voice came through the vent, before Lorj marched over and kicked it.

"It won't be long now Bruv…" Luna's voice was the one through the door this time and Lori advanced to give it a thump but.

"What the- Luna!?"

"Yeahhh sis?" The rocker's cheeky voice confirmed.

"I thought you were over this!" Lori practically screamed again. "You have a girlfriend! And she's also blonde!"

Luna laughed, "sorry Bruv, I tried to 'work it off' with her but it only took the edge off… we were at it all for hours but Sam put up the white flag a while ago and told me to 'go get it out of your system before you lick me bloody!'"

Lori shook her head in disbelief as her own heat steadily rose, "so you came here to go full Bad Touch on the twerp instead!?"

"Yeah, I guess; but have you seen just how blond he is? Dude's literally the platinum standard, and he'll like it sooner or later anyway… and so will you Bruv. 'Cause get what Miss High Mighty? We can see your 'special sauce' all over your shorts so…" Luna took an audible breath, and the others took it a que;

"ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!" The voices chanted as one, leaving the elder sister twisting between the two points. She caught sight of Lincoln staring at her, he suddenly scooted back on the floor away from whatever he saw in her expression.

Poor boy thought he was going to be eaten up… he probably deserves it dressed lik- Lori shoved the thought down and marched over to him. He paled and froze, shaking in fear as she stood over him and-

Slammed her foot down onto Lynn's 'stealthy' fingers. The jock drew them back with a sharp yelp and hissed from the now loose vent, her eyes seeming to glow like a cat's.

Lori ignored her and grabbed Lincoln by his nearest arm and drew him next to the window, half dragging him as he started babbling nonsense and cold sweat slicked his skin. Lori dropped him and quickly tried to fumble with the lock, but her fingers were thick and unsteady.

"Twerp? You listening twerp?" She growled, his visage in the corner of her eye. The heat from her belly was growing every second he was near, and she didn't dare look at him directly. Nonetheless she saw him twitchy nod. "I'm not sure how long I- stupid genes make-"

"Lori?" He whimpered.

"Not now, I'm trying to think straight!" Lori finally got a good grip on the lock and flicked it unlocked. "I'm going to get you on the roof. The climb looks scary but trust me, it can hold me so you'll be fine. Once you're on there you can make your way into the attic and hide out there until Dad gets home, did you get all of that?"

"L-Lori…" the pleading tone this voice drew her eye, and her stomach dropped and rise in equal parts as she saw the three oldest brunette girls holding the boy onto Leni's bed. The smirk from Lynn only confirmed the obvious; with the vent off the jock would have been able to just open the door from the inside.

Not Horny!Lori would have realised that.

A shame she was out of commission at the moment.

"Sorry sis, but Lynn coulda' gotten in the attic anyway," Luna grinned. "But y'know what, this worked out fine 'cause now we can welcome you to the club together!"

"Yeah, no more judgment after today!" Luan smirked. "Because…"

"You're one of us now," Lynn finished.

"One of us! One of Us! ONE OF US!"

"SHUT UP!" Lori wailed, feeling her resolve start to crack. It was three on one, and she was fighting a losing war against her insides; surely anyone would understand if she…

Betrayed Bobby? Herself?

Her shoulders sagged, and she let out a shuddering breath.

And moved forward, the giggling cheers grew as she reached for the terrified child, now bare save for his underwear, and gently touched his face.

Before grabbing his hair and tossing him metres through the air, the will of Lori Loud drawing out her inner strength.

The sisters deranged expressions shifted to shock for a moment as their object of affection sailed past them with confusion and pain upon his face. He landed on his near bare backside and gazed up to find himself in the hallway just past Lori and Leni's doorway. His look of surprise was only topped by Lori's own.

She was sure the touch would have broken her for real. As it stood her fingers twitched for a moment, and it took another show of willpower to force them to relax and release a few sacred threads of white hair.

"GET LOST TWERP, I'LL HOLD THEM OFF!" Lori Loud faced the perverse horde before her and prepared to tussle.

To her surprise though, Lynn just clapped and the others laughed again. "Dang dude, you got us good!"

"But it's pointless Bruv, you're just makin' it harder on yourself." Luna rested her hands on her hips. "We can see it in your eyes, it's already started and there ain't no goin' back!"

"Because once you 'pop' you can't STOP!" Luan giggled.

Lori shuddered and felt something twist inside her as a glance revealed Lincoln was still picking himself up, her glare prompted him to skedaddle out of view from her doorway and presumably out of the house if he wasn't entirely stupid.

"Well I'm still me right now, and I've decided not to be a raging pervert today," Lori snarled back at them. "And if you want to pull this shit in this house you have to get through Lori Loud first!"

Luan shook her head. "Okay you say that, but we've all seen your internet histo-"

"BOBBY LIKES IT LIKE THAT!"

"Well I guess we can try it with Lincoln too-"

The beating that followed ensured that Lincoln would have plenty of time to hide, and for Rita and Lynn Sr to make some arrangements to deal with living with the girls 'curse'. While Lori still fell into the same attraction, she would manage to retain her faculties and help maintain order until the elder three got over the worst of their 'attraction'. Rita would thank Lori personally and they would begin the process of bonding properly at last.

All in all, one of the better results of the traumas the boy would suffer over his hair.

A shame it was nowhere near the last.

A/N:

Special thanks to Nuuo for the beta-reading of this chapter, and the initial inspiration.