Safehouse Has a Bad Day:

The white helmet gave a suspiciously oven-alarm like sounded ding, and Lisa advanced to remove the reconditioning device from Lincoln's head.

"Now then, if all has gone well our brother should now be free of the social conditioning that previously plagued all of us!" Lisa allowed a bit of cheer to enter her voice. The women surrounding her had no such reservations and let out some form of victory cheer.

They were presently in the Loud House basement, with the previously struggling Lincoln tied to chair so that the helmet could be jammed on and work it's science (because Lisa Loud refused to involved with magic after the last incident) without interruption.

Now, as Lincoln blearily opened his eyes he saw Lisa before him, Leni and Lori beside her to await the results of their experiment.

"Elder brother, how do you feel?" Lisa tentatively waved an instrument over him, noting the now regular brain waves.

"I feel… better." Lincoln smiled. "Thanks for helping me see things a little clearer."

There was a chorus of squees from the women and girls in the basement, before Lisa raised her hand to quieten them. "Before we begin any celebrations, I think it would be prudent to test for any-"

Leni was already untying the last of Lincoln's bindings.

"… errors in programming." Lisa lamely finished.

"Yeah, maybe wait until after next time Leni," Lori sighed. "But now that you're free Lincoln, what do you think about this, about us?"

Lincoln was already standing, massaging his wrist with one hand as he turned to her with seemingly sparkling eyes. "Aww Lori, why don't I show you instead?"

The man walked forward with a seductive smile and raised a finger from his left hand to tilt Lori's face to put her lips at the same height as his, Lori felt her legs weaken a bit and couldn't help but let her jaw rise to his command.

The girls the background let out 'oohs' and happy cries.

"Aww, Lori gets to go first!" Leni muttered.

"Well she was born first, big sister privileges remember?" Lincoln's voice purred, and Lori's lips tingled as he approached. She closed her eyes in anticipation.

Which only made the sudden snapping pain from her cheek all that much worse.

She gasped and found herself on the floor, Lincoln already slamming the basement door closed before the shocked Lynn could outpace him. The sound of something heavy being thrown in front of it guaranteed they would be stuck in for some time.

"NICE TRY YOU PSYCHOTIC CUNTS!" A voice dripping with bitter rage and spite came as a parody of the dream that she'd been woken from. "BUT YOU'RE MONTHS LATE TO THIS MINDFUCK PARTY!"

There was a vague whooping sound, and they heard the front door slammed open as their brother surely ran away.

"Lisa, what just happened?" Lori herd herself ask numbly.

"If I were to hazard a guess," Lisa replied in a more depressed voice than usual. "I would say that our brother managed to resist the programming in it's entirety."

"Brah, I thought you said this thing was foolproof." Luna pointed at the helmet. "You even had that scanner thing in case somethin' went wrong."

"I don't understand it either," the scientist admitted to the disappointed face of her sisters. "The only way he could have fought the helmet is if he had extensive experience under the effects of a similar devic-"

Lisa stopped and a dark look came over her face.

"Wat'cha thinkin' sis?"

"It occurs to me that if our counterparts in the other world grew fearful of never regaining their Lincoln, then their first natural choice would likely be the same as ours." Lisa declared, then clarified for Leni. "I think they might have tried to do the same thing as us at some point."


Months previously;

"So it's time to discuss date nights-"

Lincoln got up to leave. "Well I think that's my cue to leave; enjoy yourselves I suppose. Preferably with someone legal, but I'll settle for them just having pubes at this point."

The room remained as cool to him as ever, the assorted sisters having 'invited' him in to discuss planning the monthly duties in the basement while Lyra acted as the deputy to organise the semi-controlled chaos above.

"Cute," Lori rolled her eyes. "But you're not done yet Mr Prude."

"Oh I'm pretty sure I am," Lincoln started to move to the basement stairs, only to find himself blocked by a smirking Lynn. A trickle of sweat ran down his spine as he saw eagerness in her eyes.

"Yeah no, sorry fake-o-ln; we've got stuff to settle with you!" Her grin grew teeth, and Lincoln reluctantly returned to his seat. Nothing that Lisa was suddenly closer and she'd brought the off-white helmet with her.

"Are we all going to behave ourselves?" Lori asked in a sickly sweet voice, and Lincoln could only grit his teeth as he nodded. "Good. Now; for the past two weeks I and Lynn have worked the most charity so it's our turns next-"

Lynn's hand suddenly clamped down on his shoulder, and she breathed heavily into his ear. "I sure hope you're ready, I know I sure am."

Lincoln shuddered at the implication. "How come you're acting like I'm involved in this, in case you don't remember; I'm not him-"

"Yeah trust me; we noticed," Lori dryly eyed his stomach, which was reportedly bigger than pedo-Linc's.

"The why am I here?" Lincoln groaned.

"Because you're our substitute, obviously." Lori's façade cracked, and some of the women giggled.

Lincoln felt more sweat come from his brow. "… We've talked about this; I'm not doing anything like that with you, any of you."

"Oh yeah?" Lynn's voice became sadistic. "See that white hat over there; that gizmo… actually, why don't you tell it to him instead Leese. You always get a better reaction."

Lisa pushed her glasses up by the bridge. "Very well; this is a mind-control helmet. We use it to temporarily alter your mindset to one less primitive to accept our coupling as the healthy release that it is. As yet the effects are impermanent and the memories of the events are all but erased within a week, but with time I believe the results should become ingrained."

"Hopefully anyway," Lori indicated to the chart behind her. "We all do charity work to improve our lives and those of the people around us, but also-"

"To get extra date nights," Lincoln could feel her hot breath on the back of his neck again. "Trust me, I've earned mine!"

"You certainly did," Lola nodded to her. "I thought discounting that Ms Burnbite would put me over, but that thing with the disabled children? Quite impressive."

Lincoln gazed at the chart with horror; "... How many times did you do this to other me?"

"None, this was something we made just for you after all the shaming you kept doling out!" Lori assured him with condescension. "Now are you going to go quietly or fight this time? I know Lynn likes a rumble before a tumble."

"..."

"..."

"... You said that thing will make me forget at least?"

"What do you think we've been doing for these past few months?"

"Dudes, why do we have to have this conversation EVERY TIME!?"

"Because that face he makes is hilarious- look! That's it now!"


A/N: Well Safehouse's sequel wasn't exactly the same tone as the previous ficlet and I wouldn't necessarily consider it canon to that ficlet considering the characterisation but I still had fun writing it so I hope you had fun reading it.

The majority of the Lisa Loud's Funtime Machine ficlets have now been seperated into their own story, leaving only those not in the same 'canon' remaining here. Some of the other ficlets moved around to fit the space their once occupied so if you're confused as to where some may have gone then you can find any individual ficlet in the index at the start of this Collection.