A/N:
Nuuo was the one who actually wrote most of this chapter, only the non italicized parts are my own contriubution. This addition is an expansion on the non-canon Safehouse's Sequel, so enjoy the silly fun as you like:
Safehouse's Sad(der than usual) Time:
The sessions downstairs were starting to feel repetitive.
Lincoln got up to leave, until Lana opened her mouth before he got to. "Well I think that's my cue to leave!" Lana quipped. Ice ran through Lincoln's veins, he was just about to say that!
"Enjoy yourselves I suppose. Preferably with someone legal." Lola said next with a bored expression on her face. She was inspecting her nails after that. "but I'll settle for them just having pubes at this point! You thought that was clever the first time after we learned who Lily's mystery man was, huh mate? That's what you're thinking!"
The room remained as cool to him as ever, the assorted sisters having 'invited' him in to discuss planning the monthly duties in the basement, Lincoln was just about to leave but not before expressing his contempt.
Lori rolled her eyes. "Sit down. You're not done yet Mr Prude."
"Oh I'm pretty sure I am, is what you were about to say next, right Linky?" Lincoln started to move to the basement stairs, his eyes on Leni, Luna, Lola and Lana.
Only to find himself blocked by a smirking Lynn. How did they know what he was gonna say? Did Lisa invent a psychic helmet? A trickle of sweat ran down his spine as he saw eagerness in Lynn's eyes.
"Yeah no, sorry fake-o-ln; we've got stuff to settle with you!" Her grin grew teeth, and Lincoln reluctantly returned to his seat. Noting that Lisa was suddenly closer and she'd brought the off-white helmet with her.
"Are we all going to behave ourselves?" Lori asked in a sickly sweet voice, and Lincoln could only grit his teeth as he nodded. "Good. Now; for the past two weeks Lucy and Leni have worked the most charity..."
Lincoln got up to leave, until Lucy opened her mouth. "Well I think that's my cue to leave." She sighs. Lincoln was confused, he was just about to say that!
"Enjoy yourselves I suppose. Preferably with someone legal!" Luna sang while playing her acoustic. "but I'll settle for them just having pubes at this point!" The rest of the sisters laughed.
The room remained as lively to him as ever whenever the sisters have gathered, the assorted sisters having 'invited' him in to discuss planning the monthly duties in the basement, Lincoln was just about to leave but not before expressing his displeasure.
Lori rolled her eyes. "Sit down. We're not done yet Mr Prude."
"Oh I'm pretty sure I am,!" The sisters chorused with Lincoln. He was getting creeped out now and started to move to the basement stairs, his eyes on Leni, Luna, Lori and Lisa. Only to find himself blocked by a smirking Lola. How did they know what he was gonna say? Did Lisa invent a psychic helmet? A trickle of sweat ran down his spine as he saw eagerness in his sister's eyes.
"Yeah no, sorry fake-o-ln; we've got stuff to settle with you!" Her grin grew teeth, and Lincoln reluctantly returned to his seat. Noting that Lisa was suddenly closer and she'd brought the off-white helmet with her.
"Are we all going to behave ourselves?" Lori asked in a sickly sweet voice, and Lincoln could only grit his teeth as he nodded. "Good. Now; for the past two weeks Lana and Luan have worked the most charity..."
Lincoln was getting a weird case of deja vu, and not because of being in an old fashioned sibling meeting like when he and his sisters were younger.
"So it's time to discuss date nights-"
Seriously, deja vu. The room remained as lively to him as ever whenever the sisters have gathered, the assorted having 'invited' him in to discuss planning the monthly duties in the basement, Lincoln was just about to leave but not before expressing his confusion.
Lori rolled her eyes. "Sit down. We haven't started yet Mr Prude."
"Oh I'm pretty sure I'm done!" Lincoln heard himself say, along with Lily and Leni who shared a giggle after seeing his confusion. He was getting creeped out now and started to move to the basement stairs, his eyes on Lisa, Lynn, Lucy and Lori. Only to find himself blocked by a smirking Luan. How did they know what he was gonna say? Did Lucy use magic to predict what he was gonna say? Was he being controlled even now? A trickle of sweat ran down his spine as he saw eagerness in his sister's eyes.
"Yeah no, sorry fake-o-ln; we've got stuff to settle with you!" Her grin grew teeth, and Lincoln reluctantly returned to his seat. Noting that Lisa was suddenly closer and she'd brought the off-white helmet with her.
"Are we all going to behave ourselves?" Lori asked in a sickly sweet voice, and Lincoln could only grit his teeth as he nodded. "Good. Now; for the past two weeks Luna and Lola have worked the most charity..."
Eventually; Lincoln started to remember and resist; but it only resulted in Lisa adjusting the helmet. Knowing discretion is the better part of valour, the man eventually negotiated the 'dates' down to him willingly sharing just a night out with the woman in question, no sex; just talking and eating.
Much to his surprise, he actually didn't mind too much...
"Not so bad huh?"
"I guess not, as long as we don't do anything more than that."
"What about some dancing?"
"I dunno..."
"C'mon Linc, you danced with us before, haven't you?" The Scene changed faster than he could understand, thinking he had too much wine to remember the taxi ride. He found himself dancing without remembering what spurred it.
He observes his sister dancing recognizing her less and less as she continues moving to the beat. He couldn't tell her from one sister to the next, he's finding himself out of breath but unable to stop dancing. Even feeling pressure on his chest...
In the real world Lisa noted some minor aberrations in Lincoln's brainwaves and adjusted the helmet accordingly. The man was lying on a sterile bed, some alternative versions of his sisters nearby.
"Is he waking up?" Lynn gasped, 'dancing' with the man in a more intimate way.
"No, but compensating the 'dinner' portion of Luan's date for her own 'flavour' required some creative configurations." Lisa mused.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Luan groused.
"It means that convincing a grown man that ice cream is meant to taste like fish is a difficult task,"
Of course, this charade could not last forever; and eventually such nonsense must be revealed. For the devil is in the details.
Like the fact that unlike his alternative counterpart, this Lincoln had never had a vasectomy…
"Well congratulations on making a branch in the Family Tumbleweed I guess," the bleary eyed Lincoln drank some more beer upon seeing Lynn's swollen stomach.
Lynn regarded him with another of those smug looks she'd been giving him recently. "Yeah, I wasn't exactly expecting it either but hey; I'll bet you anything the Dad's jaw is gonna drop faster than mine did."
Lincoln's eyes narrowed. "Why? Did you fucking pedos touch Lemy again, or did Leni whore out Lyle?"
Lynn snickered and walked away.
"Damnit, get back here- I need to know which child needs therapy!"
