Burger Hero 5: Hunted Hero!

"Ow!" Lincoln winced as a quick jolt went through his suit, "again Brainbox!?"

"Sorry BB," Lisa's remodulated voice came through in his ear. "The suit detected another tracker and reacted accordingly."

Lincoln could only grumble at that. It wasn't like it was avoidable; ever since the Mayor had put a bounty on Burger Brawler people had been trying to catch him, and while he was easily fast and sneaky enough to escape from any trap or evade any helicopter his enemies had tasked their goons with putting little sticky trackers on his suit if they got close enough. And they got plenty of chances since while Lincoln was fast and strong enough to beat them up without a problem when 'burgerfied' ("can't you call it something else Leese?" "Yes I could, but I see no reason to step down to a less fitting descriptor") he still had to get into close quarters to bop them one.

"Perhaps I could look into applying a non-stick formula to the suit, I'll look into it when you return to base," Lisa suggested.

"Sounds good," Lincoln grumbled. Honestly he did appreciate his sisters efforts, heck; they were probably the only reason he hadn't been killed or caught ages ago- but it wasn't just electronic gizmos that were the problem.

No, there was a bigger source right at home…


"Oh, hi Linky!" Leni waved at the visibly tired boy sidling through the front door. "Do you wanna be detectives with us?"

Lincoln's eyes blinked one at a time, reactions slowed by a night of crime fighting and an immediate school day filled with hard revision. But as his pupils adjusted to the indoor light Leni, Lynn and Luan came into view sitting around the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"Uhh… maybe later- I'm kinda tired right now so…" Lincoln scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"Oh…" Leni looked down with disappointment. "Well if you have something else to do then I understand…"

Lincoln took in her sad face and readied his resolve for the task at hand. "Thanks for unders-"

Her eyes were so big.

"Thanks for under-"

Her bottom lip trembled.

"Thanks…"

The fact she was being genuine.

"… Dang it, why not."

"Yay!" Leni's demeanour instantly brightened, and with a speed that would should have required Lisa's formula she crossed the distance between them- grabbed his shocked form and suddenly dropped him on the couch next to her in a matter of seconds. "This is totes going to fun!"

"Sure thin- wait you're bringing in Lincoln?" Lynn jumped up and pointed with clear annoyance. "He's not getting any of my cut!"

"Your cut?" Lincoln blinked in confusion, and then glanced down to the object atop the coffee table.

Between the three girls, Leni upon the couch and Lynn and Luan crouched on her right and left respectively was a marked map of Royal Woods. As he leaned down with narrowing eyes he realised the assorted dots had little dates and timestamps written next to them…

All of them being places where and when the Burger Brawler had been active.

But the girls (apart from Leni) weren't fans of BB, so the only other reason why they would tracking him down...

"Yeah- not mine either!" Luan groused. "We've been grinding away for hours!"

Lincoln's mind pulled the pieces together "… you're after the bounty!"

"Wow- maybe we should bring you in after all!" Luan gasped in clearly false amazement, then pointed at the map. "But maybe it was just in-sight!"

"Can it clown," Lynn's eye was twitching- and from the rate of it Luan had been punning for a while. "But yeah; we're trying to catch Bun Boy so Hazeltucky will finally stop memeing us!"

"And get a lotta dough," Luan rubbed her fingers together as if feeling imaginary notes between them. "Seriously; the bounty would cover all my Funny Business losses and put us through college!"

"I thought we were going to give him a hug for all his hard work?" Leni put her finger toi her lips as her face screwed up in confusion. "And get him a new costume?"

"Oh we are we are," Luan got up and assured her, drawing her hands into hers. "We're going to give him a big hug- and then the police are going to take him to the station where he's gonna get 'hugs' from everybody! He he!"

Lincoln winced at exactly what kind of 'hugs' Luan was implying, but looking down at the map he had more important things to address. "There's so many places here- how did you even put this together?"

"BurgerBuzz," Lynn flashed him her mobile screen. "BB's got himself a fanclub."

"Really!" Lincoln explained excitedly- he'd never had fans before! "That's awesome!"

"Awesome for us," Lynn smirked. "There's basically only five nerds on the whole website- but they're really into him. As in creepy stalker into him-"

"Oh." Well that took some of the wind out of his sails.

"- and these crazies just go around hunting police reports and stuff to try and find BB sightings- they basically did all the work for us- we just needed to make a map to track him!" Lynn smirked. "His own fans are leading us straight to him- It's gonna be like if your cheerleaders got you benched!

And there went the rest of it.

"Aww, don't be sad Linky," Leni drew him in for a 'reassuring' hug. "He just needs a fashion makeover, I mean; his outfit is totes cute in it's own way- but people aren't food! I promise he'll totes thank us later!"

"Yeah… sure Leni," Lincoln's voice was slightly muffled by his older sisters form. "But maybe he has a reason for the suit?"

"Doesn't matter." Leni looked down at him with uncharacteristic seriousness.

"But-"

"He's a step away from Jorts, that's how bad this is Linky. The Burger has to go." Leni nodded with resolve, before melting into her usual enthusiasm. "Don't worry though- I've already got so! Many! ideas!"

"Uhhh," Lincoln drew himself out of the hug with a nigh audible 'POP' while he tried to think of a way to diffuse the situation. "Don't you need his measurements first? Maybe you-"

"Oh I totes already have it covered!" Leni clapped her hands together and grinned. "130 centimetres, and abooout 30 kilograms!"

Lincoln froze at his own rough measurements. "What?"

"URRGH, Leni!" Lynn groaned. "We told you to use American measurements!"

"Oh, right umm" Leni put her finger to her lips as she started thinking. "I think that's six feet and a hundred pounds!"

Thank you God for making Leni… Leni, Lincoln sighed in relief.

"I'm pretty sure that's- whatever," Lynn shook her head. "Anyway the point is- we've got this pretty covered already. Luan's doin' the research- Leni's kind of figuring out his body type since she's good at that kind of thing and I'm puttin' it all together, there's nothing left for you to do so scram- we're not cutting the reward into four!"

Lincoln eyed her triumphant grin with skepticism, then regarded the map again. Honestly he would have been doubtful- but it was actually pretty well put together. Too well put together. If Leni ever got the right measurements through to the others and if they realised that Burger Brawler was more or less coming from their own neighbourhood it wouldn't take long for them to go through process of elimination to suspect him- and then he'd never live it down!

Or maybe….

"Girls how could you!" Lincoln gasped as he was lead out from the house in cuffs, a police car waiting in front of Vanzilla.

"Sorry Lincoln- we need that Funny Money!"

"It's for a good cause Stincoln!" Lynn grinned as she counted out her cut- "MINE!"

"Enjoy your hugs!" Leni waved him goodbye with a smile.

"Yeah boy, you're gonna get a lot of hugs," the police officer snickered as they lead them into the dark car. "All those guys you put away are really looking forward to it."

Yeah, he could easily see these jerks selling him out for the money (except for Leni, but she was still kind of helping anyway...). He had to diffuse this- and fast!

"But how are you even going to catch him?" He pointed out, "Brawler's super strong and fast- even the police's cuffs couldn't hold him!"

"He's gotta sleep sometime." Lynn shrugged. "We just have to catch him unawares and BAM!" She suddenly pulled out a thick set of cuffs, "we get him with these!"

The cuffs were ugly manacles, each individual cuff being a thick disc of metal about as big as his arms with a nigh comically smaller hole for someone's wrists to go into. "We got Leese to make 'em!"

"That's- what?" He leaned down, and sure enough, machined into the metal around the left cuff there was a little 'Loud Lock, made by Lisa Loud, US Patent-

He didn't need to read anymore. "Dang it Leese, why?"

"Don't feel too bad Lincoln," Luan 'assured' him. "It cost me all my Funny Money savings- but with these even Mr Mascot won't break free!"

"Yeah, these things can hold down anyone!" Lynn gave an almost shark like grin. "And then we'll make our money back ten times over!"

"You'd better!" He heard his father's voice come from the kitchen. "That money was supposed to go to your college fund Luan!"

"Dad you're encouraging this?" Lincoln gasped. "They're going after a-a dangerous vigilante!"

"Well your sisters are dangerous in their own right, I'm sure they'll be fine." Rita Loud mused as she moved past the couch with a laundry basket. "Besides- Luan's April Fools funds are drained now so we won't have to talk to the Police again next year!"


"Why did you even help them?" Lincoln groaned as he continued his nightly patrol. "If I go down they'll catch you too!"

"We needed the funding for more formula materials," Lisa's voice informed him. "Additionally they made a severe oversight in only asking for a set of hand restraints- even if they somehow manage to apply the cuffs you would still be able to 'run away' as it were."

"But they're trying to find my secret identity," he pointed out. "What if they find out who I am?"

"A colleague of mine provided with me a tool for modifying memories, it will not be a problem to-

"It's not the Brain Blaster is it?"

"… Beggars can't be choosers BB."

"Dang it Brainbox!"