Burger Hero 6: Town Icon!
The last goon slumped over, clearly done for the night, or day since the dawning sun was starting to peak over the horizon. Around him in the alley were his fellows, all bruised and battered from their brief tussle with the costumed vigilante standing the middle of the beaten baddies.
"And that's that," Lincoln dusted off his gloves.
Lisa's voice came through in the comm, "BB, your last Burger was fifty five minutes ago- you'll need another dose within-"
"Yeah, yeah; I'm on it-" Lincoln grumbled and started fishing around in his well secured burger bandolier for another meal. However, even though the secure pouches easily opened to his registered gloves, there were only a few tubes of formula where the assumed Burgers should have been.
"Umm, Brainbox?"
"Yes BB?"
"How long would it take me to get back to base?"
"Approximately ten minutes at your usual speed, why?"
"Well, remember how we tested the new invisibility formula earlier?"
"Hmm," Lisa's voice mused. Lately Lisa had been experimenting with different formulas for the boy to try to see what the different results were. One of them happened to be invisibility- which was awesome until he realised he had to run around naked or people would be able to see his suit floating around in mid-air. Plus it didn't give him his usual power set, so he'd needed to eat another one to get his regular powers too (so he'd had to fight bloated and worried he'd make a mess of himself if anyone hit him in the tummy).
"Well I only have six burgers on my belt," Lincoln fruitlessly indicated to the empty bandolier. "I used one for the invisibility formula test so I'm all out. Plus the sun's rising so I don't think I'll be able to just run home without my powers."
"I see." He heard some rapid typing sounds across the comm. "Fortunately there is a simple solution, please reach into the utility pouch and withdraw the satchel marked as 'emergency 2'."
Lincoln's eyes widened and he promptly scrambled for the one permanently Burger free pouch, "what's inside; a teleporter?"
"No. That would be expensive."
"A mask so I can get home through the sewers?"
"The sewer system is far too small to allow for such conventional travel."
Lincoln's gloved fingers fumbled through the assorted tools "… another Burger?"
"Not quite."
Finally he found the particular little satchel, alongside two others that he ignored for now and pulled it out. The contents however was nothing he could have expected.
"… Seriously Brainbox?"
"Hello and welcome to Burpin' Burger how can I- Jerry?" The Burpin' Burger employee behind his checkout machine blinked his sleepy eyes to be sure of the sight before him. "I thought you weren't on for another hour- Morning rush isn't even due for-"
"Who's Jerry?" Lincoln asked in confusion, Lisa's 'contingency' clenched in hand.
"Jerry's our mascot guy- are you filling in or something?" The Burger Fool queried. "And what's with the voice thing?"
Lincoln raised an eyebrow, then looked down at his still donned costume. "… Burpin' Burger uses Burger Brawler as a mascot now?"
"Along with half of the town- what, are you just wearing that for fun?" The Burger Fool crossed his arms.
"… You know what- sure." Lincoln sighed, and deposited the five dollar note in front of the Burger Fool. "One Burger please."
Lisa Loud's great backup in case he ever ran out of Burgers.
No special super-science or clever maps to get around Royal Woods undetected. Just a single five dollar note and directions to the nearest open fast food joint.
"Okay..." the somewhat suspicious but not paid enough to care employee started pressing buttons to register the order. "Do you want it in a meal or-"
"Just a Burger."
"We have-"
"One. Burger. For five dollars or less." He would have been more polite, but it had been a long night- and Lincoln wasn't looking forward to having to explain why he couldn't eat breakfast again to Mom ("I was actually fighting bad guys all night long and filled up on superpower-juice flavoured junk food!" probably wouldn't fly) or the school day to follow. "I don't care which one."
"Sure thing." The Burger Fool shrugged and inputted an order for a standard Burger while Lincoln went and sat at an empty table. It wasn't long before the tired employee deposited the single burger in front of the sleep deprived boy and Lincoln went about his well trained ritual of opening up said Burger (at least this one was warm), applying one of the tubes of formula to the patty before munching away, feeling himself energised with every bite.
Alas, while Lincoln Loud had a brief moment of respite to allow the nigh supernatural warmth of Lisa's miracle Burgerfication formula to flow through him and ease his bruises- that moment was short lived as a very sour and portly man marched through the front door of the Burpin' Burger and spotted the munching boy. Instantly his face, lined with years of disappointment and regret grew bitter and he marched over with intent.
"Jerry!" Lincoln was started and looked up as the man, bearing a uniform that revealed his manager position. "How many times do I have to tell you? You're not supposed to wear the suit before your shift!"
"Excuse me?" Lincoln gave him a blank look, though how much of that got through the cowl and opaque lenses over his eyes was anyone's guess. "I think you're mistaking me for-"
"And what's with the voice changer- kids hate that thing!" The man growled. "If another one shits himself because-"
Lincoln Loud had had quite enough for one day. Not only because he'd been up since before said day had actually started bopping baddies, not only because Lisa's 'contingencies' were clearly made with less care and foresight than a Blarney Special Episode but now this horrible middle-aged manager was ruining what little peace he had managed to scrounge from the situation.
He stood up from his chair and glared up.
"- What, you got something to say minimum wage?" The manager sneered. "Because so do I- and it's shape up or go get your resume- HUULG!"
The man found himself hoisted a metre into the air, Lincoln's re-empowered hands easily grasping around his expansive waist to lift him. He stared down in shock as the little superhero's eyes bored into him.
"I'm. Not. Jerry."
And then he dropped him.
It wasn't a long drop, and the middle-aged manager's fat backside easily absorbed the impact- but the shock made the point well enough.
"Y-you're him," the man scrambled back.
"Yes." Lincoln learned forward, his short height meaning that he needed only bend a little to look into the other's eyes at level. "And I don't like being talked down to."
"I-I-I'm sorry!" The man gasped. "I thought you were-"
"Your mascot guy right?" Lincoln folded his arms. "You know, being 'minimum wage' is hard enough already right?"
"Uhhh," the man was visibly sweating, and from the corner of his eye Lincoln could see the Burger Fool from before half hiding behind the counter, but with a vindictive smirk on his face as he watched the proceedings. "I-I wasn't serious about the resume' thing, Jerry's a good worker and-"
"We'll see," Lincoln started pacing around the fat manager. Internally his inner Ace Savvy looked on with disappointment, but his inner MidKnight promptly shushed him- intimidation could be a tool for justice if used correctly- and if this manager learnt to treat his underlings better from this encounter then that was sure some kind of justice!
That it let Lincoln get some of his steam off was completely a bonus.
But 'justice' aside, Lincoln did have some other questions at hand. He stopped in front of the manager. "How come you thought I was 'Jerry'?"
"Uhh…" the man looked him up and down. "You're wearing the suit?"
"My suit?" Lincoln at the ridiculous thing he bore again. "What about it?"
"Dude," the Burger Fool spoke behind him, drawing his attention. "Every burger joint in town is using you like a mascot- you're kinda a town icon now."
Oh right; the Burger Fool had mistaken him for his coworker for the same reason, but Lincoln was still taken aback by something else; "wow, really? I mean, I know some were using it but all of them?"
"Yeah," the Fool nodded. "I don't know a place in town that doesn't have their own guy in a BB suit, Jerry's ours. I'm surprised you haven't noticed"
"I'm usually busy," Lincoln admitted. And it was true, between his late nights (or early mornings in this case), the sleepy half awake lessons at school and the unrelenting demands on his time from his sisters he didn't really have any time to notice any daylight changes in town. "But… this is actually kinda cool!"
"I'm glad you think so," the manager muttered. "The royalty fees sure aren't-"
"Royalty fees?" Lincoln raised an eyebrow, then realised that they probably couldn't see it under his cowl. "I haven't gotten any royalty fees! Who are you paying!?"
"I dunno," the manager shrugged. "The company pays off some guy that trademarked the suit. They make everyone who uses the mascot cover the costs though-"
"Someone trademarked my suit!?" Lincoln gasped. "But how?"
"First come first serve I'd guess." The manager gingerly stood. "From what I hear, someone just showed up and claimed it at the agency. Maybe you can go talk to them, but unless you can prove your identity I don't even think you'll get in."
"And I'd probably get arrested…" Lincoln sighed.
"Arrested-" the managers eyes widened. "Shit there's the bounty out on you!"
"Well yeah, that would be bad for me." Lincoln tiled his head in confusion. "How come you're…"
Lincoln followed the manager's eyes to The Burger Fool, who was frozen over his phone.
"Chris?"
"Yeah Boss?'
"What did you just do?"
The Fool sheepishly tried to pull his phone down. "Nothing."
There was the sound of screeching tired in the distance, and when Lincoln whipped his head around his enhanced sight could see a small fleet of Police and unmarked vehicles heading his way. "You sold me out!?"
"Dude, have you seen what minimum wage is like in this place?" The Fool lamely defended himself.
"Chris is this place gets a scratch on it-"
"Oh- OH SCREW BOTH OF YOU!" Lincoln growled and turned away. Before him was a nice, easily openable glass door, with glass panels for a wall on one side and hard brick leading away on the other. He turned and pointedly looked the Burger Fool in the eyes.
He kept staring at him as he walked forward- and effortlessly through the brick wall. The heavily materials resisted for a moment, before buckling with a sharp crack and falling down in piles of rubble and dust as the boy pushed through, the Fool and Manager both gaping at the sight of such casual power. Then, with both feet firmly on the concrete sidewalk, he turned away at last and bounced forward, almost breaking the sound barrier with a single jump that left visible marks in the concrete.
"… That's coming out of your wages."
