Lisa Ex Machina: Just Some Extra Money Edition

Lori Loud sat on her bed, woefully disappointed by her bank account. While she certainly had plenty to be secure for her basic needs when she moved out, and a reasonable cushion to fall back on if she couldn't find work at college for a few months it certainly wouldn't provide for the kind of college experience she wanted to live. And what after that? Lori's ideal life involved jet setting, expensive parties and ease of mind- not the stress of climbing the corporate ladder and all the rungs between her and the good life atop it.

No; Lori Loud wanted the good life now, she wanted to look at her bank account and feel assurance that even if she spent a good decade without work she could reasonably expect a good standard of living. The problem with that was that well…

So did everyone else, and a high school graduate with nothing but Burger Foolerly on her resume wasn't exactly competitive. What's more, she wanted her riches fast, the kind of fast that was probably...

Illegal.

The eldest sister's mind lingered on that thought.

Recently her ex-boyfriend had mentioned that his cousin had gotten herself and his kid sister into something 'interesting' that he heavily disapproved of- but nonetheless kept quiet of except for Lori (who of course was completely trustworthy). Lori cringed at the thought of doing it herself- her body was a temple to be cherished and protected- but Carlota wasn't doing it herself now was she?

No, it was little Ronnie taking one for the team (and by one she meant an entire other team up the butt every other night from what Bobby had said).

All Lori had to do was act as the handler for someone else, someone she could control and command with the right 'persuasion'. And Lori had nearly a dozen siblings, siblings that she had spent her entire life 'persuading' for various (mostly selfish) reasons.

Of course, some might consider actually going so far as to literally pimp one of them out to be utterly out of character for the eldest. Even at her lowest she had only gone so far as to trick her probably mentally disabled sister into attempting vehicular homicide to maintain her petty favour extortion racket and inflate her ego. Which was admittedly horrible, but it was mostly because she was acting on emotion and failed to properly think through the potential consequences of her actions, simply rationalising any possible harm away with the assumption that Leni's tester would have stopped her long before she caused any real harm.

Apparently however Lori L. Loud had taken a rather massive enema made of pure evil in the past few weeks- so her usual moral scruples were being politely but pointedly ignored.

With such ideals out of the way- the only questions were how she could achieve such a brilliant scheme and who she would be 'persuading'. Obviously Carlota would make for an excellent instructor, as she was both experienced and known to Lori so that was sorted- but which of the ten twerps would fall on the sword of Lori's ambition?

Being the evidently evil thot that she was, age wasn't an issue- except for Lily who even Carlota would probably balk at training. So it was a matter of whittling down her candidates to who the lucky one was…

Leni would be the easiest to control and convince, if she phrased it as 'giving hugs with your insides' she could probably get her to do it without any compulsion whatsoever. But there was no way for the ditzy girl to keep a secret, sooner or later she would let something suspicious slip and Lori would be behind bars (or at least lose all her money).

Luna would never go for it even at her most baked, and she'd probably scream blue murder at Lori for even suggesting it. She'd have to find something to blackmail the rocker with, and honestly there probably wasn't anything that Luna had done that would be worse than taking a train's worth of loads on a nightly basis.

Luan was… terrifying. Sure she seemed harmless (if annoying) enough most days, but the deranged prankster that lurked beneath the surface reminded the family of her true nature every April First.

You don't try and pull something like this on Jigsaw Jr.

Lynn… no. She'd fight like hell, Lori might not even get to 'training' before the enraged Jock broke her neck.

Then there was the sole boy. A prize to be sure with his cherubic appearance, naturally white blond hair and buttocks so firm and plump that not even the loosest of pyjamas could prevent it from swelling to make an 'm' through the material. What's more, she knew from the many times Leni had used the boy as a model that he made as pretty a girl as he did a cute boy- he was the perfect little trap!

Even better, he was well used to taking orders- both from herself and the rest of the girls. From the moment he could talk and walk he'd been roped into all kinds of things willingly or otherwise- from the brief glances she'd taken at his schedule there wasn't a single day when he wasn't doing something for one of them. He'd been practically conditioned from birth to accept being shafted for them, if any of them could be dominated to do this, it would be him!

But…

He was also a devious, meticulous planner with a habit of going so far overboard that even Luan would sometimes be taken aback. Sure; those plans usually blew up in some way- but if Lincoln decided that he didn't like being raped on a nightly basis then all he needed was to draw attention to the racket and Lori would be smoked. Maybe she could try and blackmail him into submission with the threat of tying Mom and Dad into her scheme by using their laptop for the racket- but there was nothing stopping him from trying anyway, and his attempts alone could screw her.

Plus he could also just go to Lisa and-

Lori's eyes narrowed.

With her genius and disregard for safety Lisa Loud was easily the most dangerous person in the house, possibly the planet. If she heard what Lori was doing, if she even so much suspected it then there was sweet fuck all that Lori had in her arsenal to stop her. All her ideas about implicating Mom and Dad to 'persuade' her prospective victims to stay quiet would melt away before the sheer prowess of the wunderkind's technical abilities, and it would only be a matter of time before her victim (whoever they were) to realise that Lisa was a walking, talking win button waiting to be pressed to resolve the issue like some cartoon wish granting fairy.

She slumped over; it was pointless to consider any of the younger siblings. It was pointless to even consider it all. Lisa Ex Machina ensured that any great scheme should could come up with would be undone in weeks if not days!

Unless, Lori pondered, remembering various 'incidents' that demonstrated a certain… immorality to her second youngest sibling. Lisa could be reasoned with…


"Hmm." Lisa contemplated her older sister with a seemingly neutral expression. "To ensure that I have not misunderstood you; you wish for me to aid and abet you in prostituting our siblings?"

"Well yeah," Lori nodded. "You'll get a cut too-"

"I was not done," the small scientist silenced her with a raised finger, leaning back in her miniature office chair in the process. "You wish for me to aid and abet you in prostituting our siblings, most likely against their will, for the sole purpose of enriching us despite the fact that I have ready access to funds through my numerous patents and you have financial security through your scholarships, employment and assistance from our parental units."

"I have some money, but not enough money," Lori insisted. "Not for the kind of lifestyle I want."

"… So your true motivation is simply greed?" Lisa quirked an eyebrow. "I must admit, your psychological profile certainly denotes an inclination towards it, but even in my most extreme projected scenarios did not include such a plan."

"Yeah well, you're not exactly above exploiting the others either you know!" Lori insisted. "You're always experimenting on everyone, you've literally done surgery on Lincoln to steal his kidney and pretty sure you've done something like it to the rest of us. Heck you even burned him with acid over a ticket to Dairyland!"

"And what exactly is your point with this line of reasoning?" Lisa's eyes narrowed. "My expedient methodology is well established at this point."

Lori smirked, "that you're just as ruthless as I am when you want to be, and I know you'll want to be for this little scheme of mine."

"Oh?" Lisa asked with dry scepticism. "That I find highly doubtful, but I'll humour your proposition. Why would I want to be part of this particular brand of degeneracy?"

"Look around you," Lori waved around the lab. Rolling her eyes Lisa followed the eldest's arm, seeing her sticky taped beakers- scavenged equipment and innumerable bills piled up in assorted piles of urgency. "Tell me Leese, just how far are you from the black?"

Lisa flushed. "I have patents I can sell, it would take a day to put myself in the clear again!"

"Then why haven't you?" Lori sidled up next to her. "I mean, if it's that easy then you'd have done it by now."

"I have my reasons, I would remind you that I'm the one who balances the household budget and pays the bills," Lisa curtly replied. "Monetary management is a well-practised skill of mine."

"True, true" Lori placed a hand on the chair and slowly turned it around to face her. "So if I had to guess… these patents you have? You don't want to sell them right?" She leaned down with a grin. "These are the special ones, the ones that can change the world- but not if some corporation buys them and keeps it off the market- like a cure for the cold that would take billions out the drug companies hands!"

Lisa squirmed slightly. "Well, I can't deny that such circumstances might have-"

"But either way, it doesn't matter-" Lori backed off with a smile. "You don't have the money, so you have to make do- just like everyone else in the house has to make do. Except for you it's far worse- all those experiments of yours keep going wrong because you have to make do with cheap alternatives to what you really need right? And you have to cover costs for all those repairs when they go wrong with a bang- you know those explosions that literally happen on a bi-weekly basis-"

"I would remind you that last week-"

"We were away at Ruth's for most of it," Lori purred. "And you had three this Monday anyway. But the thing is- you really wouldn't make all those explosions if you just had the right materials. I mean- its not like you're dumb right?"

Lisa glared up. "No."

Lori paced as in contemplation, "then it seems to me like the real problem is that you're stuck in a trap. You have to make do because you can't afford better, and you can't afford better because you have to make do. If only there was a way to get that big check for the really good stuff you need, then you'd get the ball rolling all on your own..." Lori sighed dramatically. "What to do? What to do?"

"Enough!" Lisa growled. "Remind me of your proposition so that I can properly assess this 'arrangement'."

Lori practically squealed at the taste of victory and twirled to face her little genius sister. "Carlota and I already have the basics sorted, she'll handle the training and the venue, we provide the 'material', transport and security. All you need to do is help me set up the cybersecurity so we don't get caught and help me control whoever we pick for the 'job'. Right now I'm leaning towards Lincoln since he's basically everyone's bitch already-"

"Lincoln's assistance will not be necessary," Lisa pushed up her glasses. "Your plan is workable, albeit with adjustments but I see an obvious point of improvement, one that will reduce the chances of discovery and increase our profits considerably."

Lori blinked, "okay, well if you're in then-"

"It will necessitate a larger cut for myself of course," Lisa cut her off, but give a little smile of her own, one with an odd twitch to it. "But I believe you will find the benefits more than worthwhile."


Never in her wildest, most ambitious dreams did Lori think that Lisa would volunteer herself for the job. Sure, she would be a hot commodity given that she was (SOMEHOW AGED UP TO BE LEGAL IN YOUR JURISDICTION) years old, but the fact that she made Roombas with Death Beams to clear out pests on her weekends had put any such ideas firmly in her 'Suicide' folder.

But there she was- wearing the dress that Carlota had provided, waiting with a bored expression in the condemned hotel room for the two 'trainers' that Carlota had recommended. Apparently it had only taken one session with them to break and tame Ronnie Anne, and while they weren't exactly doing the same thing with Lisa they'd at least show her the ropes.

Lori herself was watching on her special laptop in a room downstairs, the training session could work as a test for the streaming setup while they were at it- even if Lisa assured her no such thing was necessary. Of course, Lisa had assured many things in her short life and any one of her siblings could say that she was far from perfect with her predictions, even Lily vould probably find some way of communicating an incident where-

"Gentlemen," Lisa's voice broke Lori from her thoughts. "I've been expecting you."

True to her words, the men that Carlota called Bill and James had entered the room, seemingly taken aback by their target's age- though it could have simply been her nonplussed demenour.

"Uhh, sorry. We weren't expecting to work tonight," Bill confusedly apologised.

"Not that we're complaining of course," James added.

"I wouldn't expect so," Lisa indicated to the bed. "Please prepare yourselves."

The men seemed to get a laugh out of this and moved to the provided bed, packets of lube and condoms in hand. "Are you sure that you're not the one training us?"

"Oh I'm quite sure," Lisa gave a smile, and pulled out a glowing vial from somewhere Lori had sworn she'd checked. "That you'll be learning many things tonight."

Lori knew that smile.

Lori had seen it many times- usually when tentacles were involved.

Lori knew she'd been had.

Instantly she dropped the laptop and rushed upwards- throwing herself from the room and towards the stairs- but skidded to a halt as she remembered they had holes from where the last person had tried to use them. Instead she went to the old but still somehow powered elevator and started punching the button to call it. It took an agonising ten seconds for the obsolete thing to trundle down and open, and another fifteen for it to arrive at Lisa's floor.

She squeezed through the doors before they fully opened and raced down to Lisa's door and kicked it open- and landing facefirst into the grimy old carpet as she remembered that the men hadn't bothered locking it at all.

"URGGHHHhhhhllllg," she hear a chilling groan, and looked up to see a mountain of meat. The mountain trembled and moved, and as Lori's eyes traced out a human pattern she realised she was looking at an incredibly well muscled body's backside as it rhythmically thrust forwards.

She was confused- neither of the men were that well built- it looked that like angry muscleman from Lincoln's comics and not only that but the figure had to be over eight feet tall. But as her eyes looked over the figure the remains of Lisa's dress stretched and torn into a pitiful excuse for a G-string over the hard buttocks caught her eye.

"Oh no," she groaned, and tried to pushed herself up on her palms. Suddenly the thrusting buttocks stopped, and another horrified moan echoed through the room along some disgusting GLORP, GLORP, GLORP!

"Ah," Lori drew her eyes up as the figure turned to her and saw that atop the utterly ripped body was Lisa Loud's head. "I see that you have arrived dear sister, thank you for coming here under your own power- I'm not sure how well this form actually runs."

Lisa's body was a horrifically muscled thing, with bulging veins and ballooning muscles at every possible position. Lisa's head alone remained unchanged, comically small atop the enlarged triangle of flesh that qualified as a neck. Below was a decisively masculine body that would put any man to shame if they weren't outright repulsed by the grotesque absurdity of it, but Lori couldn't help but be distracted by the man she knew as James staring up at her with blank horror upon his face.

It took her a moment to realise his position, as he was hanging horizontally from something. She followed the line of his bare back down to where his hips were being held by Lisa's meaty hands, then further down to the buttocks presently pressed to her crotch. Another GLORP sound issued from Lisa's crotch and his eye rolled up into the back of his head.

"W-w-what did y-you do him?" She gasped.

"I think a demonstration would be more effective," Lisa smugly replied, and suddenly pulled the man forwards, revealing a terrifyingly huge penis where her feminine parts aught to have been. Granted there were no testicles to accompany said penis, but that didn't seem to matter for the foul substance she evidently produced from the phallus.

As the man was pulled upward Lori was treated to the sight of his bloated, seemingly pregnant stomach for but a moment before he was unceremoniously flung upon the bed, landing with a meaty thud upon his fellow who moaned pitiably. The two Human Fleshlights lay in a disgusting pile, and from where James had landed Lori could see his newly expanded anus leak a continuous torrent of semen upon the already ruined bedsheets.

"Wordless, elder sibling unit?" Lisa queried, Lori could only nod dumbfoundedly. "You only have yourself to blame."

Suddenly Lisa's arm shot forward and Lori found herself behind lifted with a terrified squeak. "W-what's happening!? I thought we had a deal!"

"Then you should apologise to Leni for every disparagement upon her intellect you have made," Lisa glared down. "Though considering that you were planning to broadcast the probable underage gang rape of your siblings to the internet with a conventional laptop- that goes without saying. Spare me your look of betrayal, it should have been obvious- if I was so morally bankrupt as to go along with your scheme at all I could conduct a far more effective criminal enterprise than Ms Casagrande could ever hope to conceive."

"Then why?" Lori blurted. "Why didn't you just stop me-"

Lisa leaned down as best she could given her muscle mass. "Because I would have had no evidence that you were the complete waste of organic life that you are. As it is, the recording software on the laptop you so foolishly used for this 'escapade' has documented every conversation between you and Ms Casagrande (whose name shall be very fitting given her next residence), as well as enough incriminating evidence to put away these charming fellows for quite some time."

"B-but you're on camera too, doing this-" Lori desperately grasped.

"A single patent from me to the right official and every piece of evidence against me will be sealed." Lisa remarked with as little care as if she was brushing lint from her shoulder. "Believe me, I've done it before."

"Oh…" and like that Lori Loud felt her future suddenly flush down the toilet. "I'm… sorry?"

"Sorry you were caught I have no doubt, but before I involve the police, I really must have a question of mine answered." Lisa's eyes bored into hers. "When you were planning to have our siblings raped for your benefit- were you going to partake in it yourself?"

Lori felt her blood run cold. "W-w-why?"

"I can see the truth in your avoidance, and as for why?" Lisa's mouth twisted into a bitter smirk as her other hand effortelessly ripped Lori's lower clothes away. "Because turnabout is fair play, soon to be disowned sibling."


A/N:

Just Some Extra Money is a disturbing story, with a somewhat convoluted plot. It's not for everyone, but if you enjoy a dark story where genuinely terrible things happen to Lincoln, it certainly fulfils that niche.

Of course while I was reading it, it occurred to me that Lisa Ex Machina could easily resolve the entire mess (which to be fair, applies to most fanfic scenarios, but this in one particular stands out), so I decided to write out this darkly comedic version of how she could have cut the plot short within the first two chapters.