Lisa Ex Machina: (Not) Making It Wit Chu

It was a lovely Sunday morning, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and the Loud House was just starting up the daily grind. The bustle hadn't yet peaked with the usual resounding rock music or ongoing controlled chaos from the combination of multiple highly extroverted individuals trying to make their way through the relatively small dimensions.

Of course, the house was already down a member thanks to the family patriarch currently being miles away from work. And yet somehow that couldn't account for the increasingly rare musical tunes from upstairs or the reduced pranks from the silly sister's hands.

It wasn't obvious at first sight, and if you were the now doubly busy Rita Loud you might not even notice it at all; but the atmosphere of the Loud House had changed in some vital way- and it wasn't simply the absence of Lynn Sr that had poked such a wound through the spirit of the house. Rather the very foundation of the house, the familial warmth that once held the occupants together had been warped in an entirely unnatural way.

Lincoln Loud was being raped by his big sisters.

Not at that very moment of course, it was still a secret between the sisters who had given into their dark desires and doing so in the open, or when the matriarch was still up and about in the house was simple suicide. Rather the mornings of the house when Rita remained within was a rare escape for the only boy, as otherwise she would be occupied either with her own job far into town or busy with one of his younger sibling's activities.

Thus it was that Lincoln Loud was doing homework in the kitchen as Rita went about making the large pot that would serve the family dinner for the rest of the week now that her husband could no longer feed the family. On the surface it was perfectly innocent; the irresponsible young man had left his homework to the last minute and now he had to cram for a test the next day- but of course Lincoln had his own motives.

Simply alerting his mother to his predicament was out of the question for the same reason he couldn't go the police; he didn't want his sisters to go to prison. It was a brutal reality, Lincoln knew intellectually that what was happening to him on a nightly basis was wrong, he could feel it viscerally within. But as with many victims in his situation, he still loved his family despite all they did to him and so simply recording the monstrous acts and using the footage to fix the problem was an impossibility.

What was not an impossibility, was managing the mess.

Lincoln Loud had spent all of his life working around his sisters to survive the controlled chaos of the Loud House, so in a way adding in a few new details to his set of schemes wasn't that difficult.

Stay away from the big sisters so they couldn't corner him. Always have non-complicit company like a younger sister (sans Lucy) or a friend over when he could so that if one of them appeared they had to keep themselves to benign movements. That's what he was doing then, and he had a good excuse prepared just in case anyone asked- Mom had only needed to know he needed some time to study and that the kitchen while she was preparing things was a good place to escape the ruckus from upstairs.

Otherwise he would be seeking any chance he could to escape the house, usually with what friends he still had left so that Mom wouldn't be worried that he would be 'beaten up' like he was on his last solo walk.

And finally…

Keep the schedule.

The older sisters wanted their 'love' on a semi-regular basis. If his schemes were successful enough to keep him out of their grasp for long enough, then they might scheming themselves (or at least Lori would) and when they did get their claws in him, they'd get what they wanted with interest.

So every other night Lincoln Loud went up to his room without complaint and just did what they wanted.

It was a simple system of avoidance and engagement and it worked well enough for him to survive.

You'd be surprised what the human mind can adapt to. And putting the torment to a schedule gave him a façade of control that comforted him.

"Lincoln, I need the table- could you go and finish up in your room?" Rita smiled at him while holding a bag of potatoes.

"Uhh," Lincoln quickly looked over his textbook. "C-could I go to the library to study?"

"Well if one of your big sister-"

"Alone!" He blurted.

Rita sighed. "We've had this conversation honey, not after what happened last time."

Of course the last time he'd gone out alone, Lynn had raped him on the basketball court.

And not just in the game either.

Oh good, some part of his brain could still find things funny.

"O-okay then." He surrendered, and stuff the book under his arm.

"I'm sorry Lincoln," Rita put the bag on the newly freed table. "Maybe after we move?"

The only reason they were moving was because Lynn was rough with him. Of course now when they moved he'd have no friends at the new place to take him anywhere, so it worked out well for them anyway.

"Sure thing Mom, sure thing" Lincoln resigned himself to leaving the table and made his way into the dining room, empty of his little sisters except-

He sped along before Lucy's unseen eyes caught him.

The living room was next, and so were the stairs if he could just-

"Greetings elder sibling unit."

Lincoln froze for a moment as Lisa spoke from the couch, her little face poking from around the side of the couch back.

"Uhh, hi Leese." He relaxed. Lisa wasn't going to hurt him- at least for now. Heck, as long as she was talking with him the others couldn't get at him anyway. "Do you want something?"

"Evidently yes," the scientist pushed up her glasses. "Would you be so kind as to join me in the bunker?"

"Sure," it didn't matter what she wanted- if he was experimented on maybe it would be bad enough that the girls wouldn't want him for a few nights. "When do you want me to-"

"Now if you wouldn't mind." Lisa features seemed to gain an edge. "We have matters to discuss."


In hindsight it should have been obvious that Lisa would quickly realise what was going on. She had access to the same cameras that Luan did, and the very act of turning them off once Luan herself started participating would have gleaned the genius's attention.

What Lisa actually wanted from him, was details.

In a way Lincoln was surprised. On some level he almost expected that she'd somehow follow the pattern of girls who had first discovered the thing and then fall into joining her older sisters in violating him in some display of twisted love. Sure, Lisa Loud was really young at only [SOMEHOW LEGAL IN YOUR JURISDICTION]- but so was Lucy and that hadn't stopped her, and who knew what Lisa could do to herself to make it work.

But Lisa didn't want that, or at least it didn't seem like it. She just wanted to know.

And Lincoln Loud didn't have the strength to keep a secret anymore.

So he told her, sitting in the Bunker. He spoke of Lori coming into his room that night, he recounted how Leni's misunderstanding and jealously lead her to her disgrace. Luna's comprehension of his confession and her own drunken sin that followed it.

Luan's strange rejection of reality and how she proved her fantasy to herself.

Lynn's brutal envy and how she'd worked through it.

And then finally Lucy's fumbling following of her elder's footsteps, and how he'd been too broken by Lynn to resist.

And then they were there in the silence. Lisa's impassive features lit by the cold blinking lights of her many screens, and Lincoln dead to everything.

"This is a true tragedy."

Lincoln looked up.

"I would never have imagined that Lori's mindset would devolve to this extent, even taking her breakup into account," Lisa walked over to her computer and started pulling up documents to type in her findings. "I can only assume that she invested too much of her own sense of value into the relationship and fell back upon her next best fit to 'fill the void' as it were."

Lincoln licked his lips. "What?"

"Leni is easier to understand, she simply failed to comprehend that what Lori was doing was an inappropriate display of familial 'love' and followed suit in her ignorance.

Luna drowns her insecurities in petty hedonism regardless and from the Hugh situation it can be inferred that she would turn practically feral upon realising her 'desire', the alcohol and understanding of Lori's and Leni's actions can be then assumed to have merely 'ignited' a previously repressed attraction likely induced by her pubescent state misattributing familial love for sexual attraction.

Her resulting violation of a target of her 'affections' is not that difficult to understand with these factors in mind."

"Lisa.."

The scientist continued her assessment, typing in more as she continued. "Luan's mindset is less clear, her seeming motivation to 'prove' the theoretical joke true by her own actions is utterly absurd. But that is the nature of the situation, and clinging to whatever flimsy justification she can is hardly above Luan's established persona.

Lynn is clear cut; she has a long established pattern of ignoring and overcoming her insecurities with belligerent and irrational behaviour. Upon understanding that the societal taboo against incest had been seemingly rendered moot by Lori's actions, or at least so within the context of the family, there was nothing stopping her from pursuing her existing 'desires' (likely more familial affection being mistaken under pubescent desire) in the same way.

As for Lucy..." Lisa tapped her chin for a moment. "Simply copycat behaviour coupled with a precious crush, again likely more mistaken famial-"

"Lisa!" Lincoln reached over and turned her around. "Why are you typing all of this down? I explained that we can't go to the police!"

"True, but I need to detail the events for the sake of my records." Lisa brushed his hands away.

"Why?"

"You shall see," Lisa pointed to a bed in the middle of the bunker. "I suggest you get some sleep."

Many questions went through his mind as he looked on.

Was Lisa actually going to do anything?

Would she violate him like the others?

Was she just going to observe it all like some nature documentary, her family little more than subjects as usual?

Whatever the case was, Lincoln had given up at Lucy- so he trudged over without complaint and settled in for whatever awaited him.


"Dad?"

"Yes sweetie?" Lincoln turned to his third eldest daughter, smiling complacently.

"I'm taking Lemy and the younger ones to school," Lyra spoke softly like one would to a scared animal. "Try not to-"

"Aww, don't be a buzzkill songbird," an older Luna suddenly clapped his shoulders from behind. "I promise I won't wear him out!"

The musician laughed at her daughter's distaste. All around him the Loud House bustled as it always had- children running around while adults weaved in and out of the chaos. His oldest was somewhere on the upper floor of course, but everyone else was getting ready for their day out.

Except for him, he didn't really leave the house. Someone needed to be the homemaker, and the sisters all had their talents.

"I can only hope," Lyra was curt, but softened for a moment as she turned to him. "Just get some sleep if you can-"

"Yeah, yeah," Lynn nearby waved off Lyra as she feasted upon her toast. "Let Luna have her fun- it's her day you know!"

" 't's true," Luna playfully nudged her 'husband'. "Gotta make the most of it!"

Lyra's lips pursed in restrained disgust. "Well I hope that you get it out of your system at least- so that the rest of us don't have to hear it when we get home."

Lynn burped and grinned as she recalled her conquest. "What's the matter? Jealous?"

Lyra's jaw dropped and Luna snickered. "Heh, is that true Lyra? Is all 'this' you just gettin' pent up? You know all you gotta' do is say the word and we'll cut you in right-"

"I'm going now," Lyra stiffly interjected, before whirling to march out the door- Lemy and Lyle in hand. "God help us…."


His eyes snapped open and he heaved himself up from the nightmare- another vision of a future he feared would come to pass.

But in the present he was still in Lisa's bunker, and from his small hands and smooth cheeks still his child self. The genius herself was still in front of her computer, but there were some new forms huddled nearby.

"Who are…"

Lincoln blinked and they came into focus-

All six of the violating sisters- all in chairs with helmets on.

"Ah, you're awake." Lisa turned to him with a satisfied expression. "It seems your 'nightly activities' left you exhausted- I would recommend going to bed early for the next few weeks to recoup your deficit."

"Ahh, sure." Lincoln stumbled backward and allowed himself to fall onto the floor.

On the side without the six sisters.

"It's quite safe I assure you." Lisa calmly walked around the table to him. "They are in the middle of… 'correction' and thus will not be awakening for some time."

"Correction?" Lincoln stood up and looked over at the helmets as best he could without getting any closer. "You mean mind control?"

"Simple memory alteration." Lisa corrected. "While such things are theoretically within my grasp, the exact science remains untested. What I am currently doing is a providing a band-aid of sorts."

"A band-aid?" Lincoln queried. "How?"

Lisa elaborated: "The memories of the specific 'events' that have been occurring the past few months are being removed, as are several triggers that might result in their return. As far as Lori is concerned, she got over her breakup with Bobby in a relatively healthy manner involving a brief return to her 'awkward stage' shut in habits before learning to enjoy single life once again. It's nothing too drastic, just a few fabricated memories of her 'staying in' alone during the times the 'activities' occured and of the buildup to them. The rest will simply forget their actions as they would likely not have discovered their 'affections' without Lori's 'initiative'."

"So they're just forgetting everything?" Lincoln looked on in… mixed feelings. "Everything's going back to normal?"

"As normal as can be expected." Lisa gave him a pointed look. "I considered disregarding your wishes in order to have them locked up. It wouldn't have been hard- with my connections and the increasingly lax rights afforded under the current political climate it would been a single phone call to have them put away for life."

Lincoln swallowed. "But you didn't."

"No, no I did not." Lisa sighed. "There were a great many alternatives that I could have pursued as well. More… appropriate ones I feel given the extent of their crimes. But from what I understand, you would not have accepted any proper punishment for them- so a Tabula Rasa was in order."

Lincoln numbly nodded. Why deny it? He could have fixed it all himself if he could have stomach giving them what they… deserved?

How far gone was he that he questioned if they didn't deserve worse than to just forget?

"There is however one remaining question." Lisa indicated towards the helmets. "Do you want to remember?"

Lincoln blinked, "what?"

Lisa's expression remained stoic. "I have provided the simplest and more effective solution my technological capabilities can provide under the circumstances. Barring Lori undergoing a similar breakup in the future, and now that a coping mechanism has been 'provided' there is no reason to expect that you should need to feel wary of her or any of the other sisters involved in this catastrophe.

However, you still bear the mental scars of this ordeal. But you don't have to."

Lincoln's sluggish mind put it together. "You can make me forget it all."

"Every moment," Lisa nodded. "I considered doing it while you were sleeping, but I think it's time at least one sister gave you a choice."

Lincoln stared at the helmets, at the sleeping sisters all gathered there.

They looked peaceful. Like themselves rather than the monsters they had turned into.

He looked at himself in warped reflection of the metal surgical table.

He looked….

Tired.

Scared, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Like what they'd made him into.

"Are you sure they'll never remember? I won't need to watch them just in case?"

"I promise I will pay attention for any pattern like this and intervene accordingly," Lisa solemnly nodded. "There is no reason for you to suffer this harm."

"But you'll remember?"

Lisa nodded again. "Someone has to make sure this doesn't repeat."

Lincoln looked back and forth between the helmets and Lisa.

"… It's not the kind of thing you can do alone Leese."

"I have done a great many things you would assume impossible," Lisa stiffly replied. "Don't underestimate my capabilities."

And so he didn't.


The good Doctor was kind enough to give me a shoutout in his latest update of Turn Left, so I though I might as well return the favour to the best of my ability.

This was actually meant to be funny, but as occasionally happens it turned into something else instead. I do have two more shorts on the way for his works, and they should be far more humorous :)