How to End a Harem (How to Build a Harem)
It was a strange sight to say the least.
Or at least, it would have been before the pattern had begun. But for the past few weeks, one Lincoln Loud had been the subject of an unusual degree of affection from his sisters.
At first it had been only Lola making doe eyes of adoration in their less-than impressive brother's direction. Nothing too out of the ordinary, certainly Lola was prone to manipulation and Lincoln was assuredly the easiest target thereof so long as one presented the usual sentiments of kinship love.
However it began to become increasingly clear as time went on that Lola, was not in fact, faking it for the sake of some scheme. Someway, somehow- Lola Loud had developed some genuine appreciation for her older brother.
Suspicious.
Then Lucy had joined her.
The near-silent goth of the family was never open with her feelings, but of late she'd been far more open with her rare smiles. The elusive glimpses of her blue eyes had become surprisingly frequent, if not startlingly so for their blatant, joyous beaming upon finding the apparent source of her newfound joie de vivre.
Very suspicious.
After that, Lynn had gone from stealing Lincoln's bacon- to feeding him hers. Luan had shortly started sparing him from her daily alleged pranks (though intermittent psychological torture, as their traumatised father's speech therapy session bills could attest, would be more accurate description of her methodology) in a clear breach of her standard operating procedure. She even now stood behind Lincoln to seemingly wait on him hand and foot.
Luna's changes were more subtle, being as casually friendly to all her siblings as always. But she too had become decisively warmer towards Lincoln recently. Even going so far as to spend time with him that was previously reserved for her girlfriend, one Sam Sharp- who had since descended into a morose demeanour of her own at approximately the same time as Luna's own change. Logically it was due to a breakup, but Luna had neither declared such a thing- nor had she shown any signs of emotional trauma to indicate a relationship 'on the rocks' or any mourning of the loss of said relationship if it had ended.
Most unusual for a girl who had supposedly been so attached to her partner.
But those were not nearly so alarming as the differences in Leni and Lori's behaviour.
While the others seemed to have noticeably increased their shows of 'approval' towards Lincoln, the sweetheart sister had apparently determined that of all the things in the world she could have chosen to despise- Lincoln was the one most deserving thereof. It wasn't as obvious as the others' deviations, for the large part the 'special' sister acted within her standard patterns- but it was obvious to a keen observer that Leni had become as opposed to Lincoln as her sisters had been enamoured with him.
What's more, Lincoln himself seemed to relish these interactions, even as Leni's eyes glinted with an uncharacteristic glee when she denied him another helping, or curtly insulted him through some seemingly innocuous comment.
Finally there was Lori.
Lori Loud was being nice to Lincoln. Not occasionally while in between hormonal swings, not to get something out of the boy, not even just to get him to leave her alone; but seemingly out of a simple desire to please him. She had even seemingly dedicated herself to the task of being a 'good big sister' to him with the same fervour she had once lavished upon Bobby Santiago.
Bobby Santiago, who had seemingly been forgotten in the same manner Luna had casually ejected Sam Sharp from her life.
And now the bizarre status quo had seemingly settled. Lincoln sat at one end of the family table, openly doted upon by six sisters and held in casual contempt by the seemingly kindest of all- who for some reason still made a point to be near him whenever possible. Meanwhile Lisa, Lana and Lily sat at the other end with their parents, the five 'survivors' of whatever disease of devotion had so ravaged the household.
A disease, that one Lisa Loud had no desire to fall victim to.
"Parental Units," the prodigy hissed. "I would like to once again draw your attention to the ongoing travesty on the other side of the room."
"Yes Lisa, we know Lincoln's getting along with some of the others for a change." Lynn Loud Sr uttered behind his newspaper; face hidden as if in a blunt metaphor for his parenting style.
"I think it's sweet that they're being nice to each other," Rita Loud mused, happily plastering some toast with marmalade at an angle that also obscured her own features from Lisa's position. "I don't know why you find it so difficult to accept, but maybe you could try whatever it is they're doing!"
Lisa eyed the absurdity to the south with scepticism. "I think my resources would be better to determining exactly why such a massive deviation has occurred in so short a time."
"Yeah, I mean; isn't it kind'a weird that everyone but us went from treating Linc normal, to this?" Lana indicated to the same deviation Lisa had. "Lola's not even talkin' about anything but Lincoln this, Lincoln that and arghhh!" She grabbed both sides of her had and half dragged it across her face in frustration. "It's driving me crazy man!"
"Poo! Poo!" Lily seemed to agree. Or just need a diaper change, it was hard to tell with her most days.
"Fine by me," Lynn Sr took a sip of his morning coffee from behind his long-obsolete paper media. "Ah, maybe you'll find out that Lincoln's just growing up a bit. Who knows, maybe he's changed for the better and your sisters already saw it?"
Lisa once again looked back to the state of Lincoln and her elder sister units. Lincoln was presently being fed grapes by Lola while Lucy massaged his feet and Luan his shoulders.
"I find that a sincerely flawed premise," she dryly countered. "Perhaps you could create a more effective hypothesis if you were to cease the pointless obstruction of your ocular organs and perhaps attempt realising your parental responsibilities."
Lynn Sr's newpaper dropped enough for her to spot a set of disgruntled eyes staring at her own the top. "Look Lisa, your mother and I are just happy that most of you are getting along for once instead of getting into some crazy argument that gets Vanzilla destroyed-"
"Or someone kicked out of the house," Rita interjected.
"Or just results in thousands of dollars worth of damage over a nickel or something," Lynn Sr emphasised. "So your mother and I are going to enjoy the new peace and quiet while it lasts. If you're so worried about it, why don't you put that big brain of yours to figuring it out?"
And with that, he pointedly raised his newspaper over his eyes once more, leaving Lisa to stew.
But as Lisa's eyes narrowed at the sight of her Elder Brother Unit being indulged by yet another sister, she decided his suggestion might have merit after all.
"Perhaps I will."
Lisa Loud never regretted her functional visual and aurcial organs more than in that moment. For upon every one of her many screens was a different set of incestuous, inter-sibling intercourse in high definition and all the in depth sloshing and moaning her considerably upgraded speakers could offer.
"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!"
"I LOVE DICK!"
"Only bitches cry Lincy? Are you a bitch?"
"That was literally the greatest moment of my life."
The noise turned into background torment as under her computer desk, the stoic once genius of the family emptied her guts into a bucket she normally filled with dissection-derived detritus . Alas, the bucket was already well filled from her previous expulsions, and so a mess was formed from the thick liquid that sloshed over the sides.
Lisa's eyes stung from the proximity of the noxious fumes, and she was forced to draw back and let the bucket rest on the floor. She gasped in a breath of air and stared up blankly at her metallic ceiling.
"Never did I believe that there were things man was not meant to know, but only now through comprehensive regret do I comprehend the value of ignorance." She shuddered, and fished her glasses from her table to affix them.
Fortunately, while she currently burned with unwanted knowledge- there was an easy solution that had been provided by an exchange of services between herself and a blue-haired colleague. She pulled from her pocket a remote that would only respond to her, and first switched off the damnable influx that was displayed through her equipment. Then realizing the silence, she pressed a second button.
Instantly one of the bunker wall panels slipped away to reveal a hidden room with walls of shelves holding little glowing tubes, and in the centre a podium with an oddly shaped gun with a small box next to it.
Lisa sighed with sweet relief as she approached the Brain-Blaster, and gasped it with reverent hands.
"Hello old friend," she almost purred. "You know, I believe we've met before but I can't quite recall where."
She permitted herself a childish snort at the wordplay, for if Luan's travesties were to be allowed then what was the harm in her superior offerings?
"But from the evidence around us, I think you would remember me." She eyed the many tubes, idly curious as to what horrors, madness or simple travesties had brought her to the point of visiting so often. Contrary to her previous statement, she had often visited the room out of idle curiosity, or to determine that the gaps in her memory were self-induced rather than due to some growing ailment induced by her frequently radioactive work. There was even a kind of therapeutic monotony to shelving the tubes of trauma from where she'd left them in her post-blasted haze that helped her unwind.
But it didn't matter either way.
Obviously if her past self had chosen to be rid of those experiences, she had a good reason- and if there was anything Lisa Loud trusted it was reason, and above all her own.
Alas, her trust was soon betrayed.
For when she flipped open the lid of the box that contained the specialised tubes, her desperate fingers found only felt.
"What!?" She shifted her vision from the blaster to the box, and sure enough it remained sadly empty. "How, I'm the only one that could have-"
A dreadful possibility arose within her ingenious mind, and she darted over to the one shelf that was only partially filled, and started sorting through the dozen or so tubes that were closest. As per the Blaster's specifications, each time a memory was removed into a tube it automatically printed a label on said tube with a date and time of when the memories were removed, and sure enough…
"CURSES!" Lisa scowled, and let the tubes fall back onto the shelf.
No less than six of the tubes had been produced within the last hour. Clearly she'd been repeating the same process of Blasting the memories away, stumbling back into her chair in a haze then inadvertently re-traumatising herself upon fully coming back to herself.
And now she was out of suitable tubes to remove the miserable memories.
"Curses!" She repeated with venom. "It will take at least thirty-six minutes and 28 seconds to fabricate effective replacements! And even then…"
She shuddered and sighed, "… the initial problem would remain. I could expect to continue this cycle until dehydration to fatality and then a revival in a clone body hours later to repeat ad nauseum.
And knowing them," she cast a disdainful eye towards her family. "No. I'm the only one with the intellect and fortitude to end this nonsense, as by far the most capable and competent member of the Family Unit- the responsibly falls to me."
The little genius sighed as the weight of her self-adorned laurels fell upon her and reluctantly replaced the box and blaster to their pedestal, then stepped out of the little room.
Her eyes passed over her many inventions as she sought a solution;
"The Parental Units are functionally useless, given that their easily-influenced nature could be brought to 'accept' my Sibling Units degeneracy." She filed away simply handing in her evidence in the hopes that her parents would actually follow through on their responsibilities for once.
"Governmental intervention would be more dangerous than useful," she mused. "And their attention could either destroy the family completely or bring unwanted attention to my own activities…"
"Simply reasoning with Lincoln and his swayed Sister Units to discontinue their aberrant behavioural patterns is unlikely to result in success at best," She noted dryly, but finally her eyes settled upon inspiration. There upon a set of printed papers was the summary of a radical bodily reconstruction formula that she'd abandoned due to the temporary nature of the resulting transformation and unexpected mutations.
Her infamously clever mind started ticking over the discarded invention, as absurd as the circumstances were; then perhaps an equally absurd innovation might be the resultion?
"But perhaps…" a disturbingly vicious smile crawled across the Scientist's face as she dusted off her old formula. "Perhaps it is simply a matter of finding the correct method of persuasion."
All in all, life was good for Lincoln Loud now.
It was hard to believe it, especially after all the years of petty conflict and borderline (and outright) criminal conflicts between himself and his sisters- the sole boy had managed to somehow finagle his way into some criminally good relations with most of said sisters!
Namely Sex. He was fucking each of them (except for Leni, who more or less fucked him even if she didn't actually use anything but her feet), and with Lori freshly conquered he officially had a girl for every day of the week!
"Ahhh," Lincoln smugly drew in a breath of (reasonably, it was a suburban environment after all) fresh late afternoon air. Feeling a little indulgent, he looked off into nowhere and as was his habit; started talking to no one in particular.
What? Some people have diaries, others have therapists.
But Lincoln?
Lincoln came from a family where there was neither the money for professional help or the precious veil of privacy, and a book of personal details would become fodder for Lola (at least before the last few weeks)- so he made do with venting and blabbing to an imaginary audience. And for the most part, it worked well enough (mainly because he was still young enough for it to be considered quirky rather than concerning, but only just)
"Why hello there," he began with a smile. "You might be wondering; 'Lincoln, what's got you so satisfied with life?', or 'Lincoln, how come you're not stressed and bag-eyed like usual? Aren't your sisters going to start some problem that your expert planning skills will be needed to overcome?'." Lincoln shook his head with a smirk. "Not today, today or tomorrow or yesterday or any day from now on!
You see," Lincoln began recounting his previous big 'adventure' that had so changed his relationships with his sisters. "Ever since I brought all seven of the sexy sisters into my harem- life couldn't be better!
Lola's basically my slave now, Lucy's sighing over me and is also kinda of my slave. Lynn's playing ball with my balls, and Luan, Luna and Lori all left their 'partners' to be with the better man, namely the Man With A Plan!"
He snorted at the memory of Benny and Bobbie's forlorn expressions. "Ha! As if those bozos ever had a chance against me. Sam though…"
The image of the pretty blonde weeping as she pressed herself up against Luan and Luna's window, staring with eyes that asked 'why?'. He didn't know for sure how many times she'd done it but once he'd noticed her, he'd kept a sly eye out and so she hadn't missed a night where he and Luna 'put on a show'.
Maybe she was just hurting herself to try and understand. Maybe she was metaphorically poking an open wound, driving stakes into her own heart in sick curiosity.
Or maybe there was some part of her that still held out hope that Luna would suddenly come to her senses and throw herself off the mighty log. That she'd return to wholesome sapphic pursuits with her true love and forget all about her little brother's lance.
"Heh, well she's interesting," he nodded to himself. "She watches me and Luna, even though she doesn't really seem to like it. I don't mind though, never thought I'd say it but there's something special about cucking someone before their very eyes- like voyeurism or something? I don't know, but whatever it is, it's spicy.
And I'm ninety-nine percent sure that she's still got a torch for Luna, so I don't think she's going away any time soon!
And you know what?" he looked around as if he was about to share some special secret. "I've got some plans for that torch. I've got it all set up with Luna too, in a few days she's going to pretend to break up with me and go running to Sam. Then she's going to distract her with Lesbianism as Lucy and Luan help me sneak in the Sharp's back door and then-
BLAM!" He smashed his hands together. "I'm going to jam my dick right into her virgin, since y'know; girls don't count, cootie and fuck her until she cracks like everyone else! Boom, instant new haremette (he thought that was what they were called) to help spice up my nights with Luna."
He grinned as he fished out his phone, "I've even got a backup plan in case she's immune to my dick powers because of The Gay or something, Lucy's going to take photos when I'm raping her- but from an angle where it looks like it's consensual or something. That way if she decides to rat us out or something we can go to CPS and have her arrested for paedophilia!"
He laughed to himself at his evil genius, "ahh. Yep, I've thought this all the way through. I'm even thinking of trying the same thing with Maggie and Luan if it works out, since I'm pretty sure she's into Luan like that. Not sure if I'm going to though, it gets pretty hard keeping track of everyone after a while- but you never know if you don't try..."
He reached the crosswalk near to his house, before snapping his fingers as something occurred ot him. "Oh, you're probably wondering about Leni right? Well…
She's not exactly my slave, but we've got something worked out." He gulped in memory of countless succulent humiliations he'd 'suffered' under her hands. "Uhh, anyway- I'm just coming home from Clyde's now. Believe it or not, sometimes even I need a break from being waited on hand and foot by the girls." He sighed in good natured 'weariness'. "Yep, every now and then I still like to go to good old Clyde's and just play a game of battle toads for old time's sake.
Still haven't had the heart to tell him about Lori though, he's going to be crushed…" Lincoln shook his head again, then stopped as a nasty gleam came into his eye. "… But then again… I do kind of want to see if cucking people is really one of my things. Maybe I could work things out so that Clyde comes around to my house for a change and catches me and Lori in the act…"
He continued his perverse imaginings as he reached his house, "yeah, he'll just walk up and Lynn'll let him in like nothing's wrong. She'll tell him to go upstairs to my room and he'll do just that like usual, but what's that?" Lincoln exaggeratedly put his hand to his ear as he approached the front door. "He'll hear something gross, but enticing. At first, he'll shake it off since it could be something from Lisa's room.
But then he'll find mine empty, and realise that the only room upstairs with any noise is Lori's. Knowing him? He'll still have idea what's in store for him, but he'll think 'hey, why don't I go perv on Lori while I'm waiting for Lincoln to finish whatever he's doing'. Then slowly, but surely- he'll open the surprisingly unlocked door to find-"
"What exactly?" Lisa snapped as he opened his own front door.
Lincoln yelped in surprise and stumbled back. "Lisa! I thought you were off teaching this afternoon."
"Under the usual circumstances, you would be correct," Lisa replied with clipped words. She currently rested upon the bottom stair, staring directly at him. "However today I felt the need to take an unplanned intermission due to a family emergency."
Silence fell.
Lincoln swallowed as his mind raced. Lisa was sitting here, clearly waiting at the front entrance, so she was probably waiting for him- and there was only one thing, one very big that had changed in way to inspire her 'interest'.
But maybe he'd get lucky?
"W-what kind of emergency?" He asked hopefully.
The little eyes became almost lazerlike through her glasses. "The kind where one sibling embarks on a multi-month plan to rape and condition his other siblings into a cult of personality."
"Oh…" right, Lady Luck hated his guts.
To be fair though, for past few months he'd had a reprieve so he'd been willing to hope. But whatever vacation she'd been on; Fortune had evidently returned, parked her backside upon the mighty throne made up of those who stepped under ladders and broke mirrors and got back to screwing him harder than any of his sisters ever had.
" 'Oh'?" Lisa sounded almost amused. "Is that all your diseased mind is capable of producing at this time?"
"Well…" Lincoln breathed out and focussed. "Just give me a minute…"
He listened to the house.
It was empty, apparently he was first one home this afternoon besides Lisa. Good and bad in equal measures, since at least if one of his haremettes was in then he'd at least have some backup. But since it didn't seem like Mom or Dad were around…
He looked around. No parents in sight, and if Lisa had already told them then Mom and Dad would already be roasting him into oblivion before they sent him to the most distant boarding school for pervs they knew of.
Or just jail. Who knows, even Rita and Lynn Loud Sr might grow a spine under these circumstances.
Finally his eyes rested upon Lisa, who remained seated upon the bottom stair.
Her expression was locked into passive disdain, and her words had been a blunt condemnation. But her hands were empty, and there were no bulges indicating she was hiding a weapon. And despite that condemnation, she'd apparently told no one else otherwise Lincoln would already be on his way to pound town.
So… why hadn't she?
Lincoln's mind whirred again, before settling on an old groove. All the times when he'd faced a big challenge for the past few months, they'd all really only been solved by one thing;
His Dick.
What if Lisa had the same thing on her mind?
He blinked, and a grin almost crossed his face as the thought crossed his mind. Yes; it made perfect sense.
Why hadn't she already sent the police him? She didn't really want to.
Why she'd called him out when everyone else was out? Deep down she knew what she wanted and didn't want others around for the 'climax'.
That look of disgust twisting her features into something ugly? Denial over her true feelings.
Yes, he could see it in his mind's eye. She'd somehow discovered his and their girls well hidden activities, but something in her stopped her from just blabbing the secret. She probably told herself that she needed to find solid evidence, but when she ran her tests she'd found herself undeniably drawn to him and his natural manly musk and legendary log.
So part of her would have resisted, and disregarded her desires at first- but in her hours of toil those needs had grown under her scientific surface, ready to burst out like her occasional lapses of immaturity. But then, her tests were done and she knew for certain what he and the older girls were about.
She had what she needed to put him away for years if not life.
But something in her cried out against just telling the police, or even just their parents. She looked at some picture on her computer of one of their loving orgies and for a second she saw herself blissfully joining in. Of course she denied it again, probably just a hallucination from stress and long hours right?
But deep down she knew what she refused to admit consciously. There was a deep conflict in her now, one which needed resolution- so she'd told herself that she was enough to confront him. Maybe she even believed that in this moment, what she really wanted was to use her allegedly superior intellect to bring him to his knees in repentance for his sins.
But now as he saw her, Lincoln saw the hard lines of struggle upon her young features. The hard glare of determination barely holding in the inner turmoil.
And the façade of a little sister who had come to her Big Brother to be included, for the wisdom of an elder to show her what she really wanted.
Well, far be it for Lincoln "I have a Harem" Loud to deny her. Sure, he'd held off with her and had planned to for at least another few years, but hey; Lisa would be the first to say she was ahead of the curve!
"Oh Lisa…" he sighed and nonchalantly closed the door behind him, no need for the neighbours to get an earful of whatever was going to happen next. "You've got this all wrong!"
"I find that very doubtful," Lisa's voice sounded slightly confused by his suddenly casual demeanour. "I have extensive footage that proves otherwise."
Lincoln internally winced, and made a mental note to make Luan take down her cameras afterwards. Nonetheless he kept his features calm and his voice confident as he turned back to face her. "I think you're misunderstanding what you saw."
He approached her with a smile that widened as she seemed to inch back a little. Aww, her nerves are getting to her. "See, me and the older girls have a very special relationship-"
"I would suggest not patronising me if you wish to remain whole, Elder Brother Unit." Lisa snapped back, "and I would counter that you appear to be misunderstanding your own position. I am not here to debate ethics with a degenerate. I am offering you a chance to cease your activities and submit to a full Brain wave-modification and memory alteration procedure with your victims that will eliminate any trace of your collective deviancy and render all further interactions platonic.
In the name of sanity and simple self-interest, I suggest that you acquiesce." Her tone remained cold as he stopped before her.
"Leese…" he sighed and looked over the little girl he towered over. "You're a smart girl-"
"Indisputably." Lisa nodded. "Keep that in mind before you make your decision."
"-So I think we both know how this going to end," he examined her one more time, checking to be sure that she was clothed in only her usual outfit and was carrying nothing he was lethally allergic to (like a loaded gun for example).
"I have my suspicions," she sourly admitted. "But I remain hopeful that some element of the Brother Unit I thought I understood remains."
Lincoln nodded to her, "he does- it's just that he's grown up a bit now. And now he's having more grown-up relationships with his sisters than before."
Lisa's expression flatlined, but he still got a little closer. Just now in range of grabbing her if she tried to run off.
"… Don't you want to be a little more grown up too?"
Lisa's eyes narrowed. "Your intended method of persuasion is to molest me?"
"No!" Lincoln waved his hands in opposition- even though he totally planned to do just that (hey, it worked for everyone else). "We can start small so you're comfortabl-"
"This was an error." Lisa dropped down to the bottom floor with an ominous thud. "You are clearly beyond reason at best. I suggest you follow me if you wish to avoid harm in the process"
"Leese," Lincoln groaned, and then pointedly stood in front of her. "Look at yourself! You came here unarmed against your way older brother. There's no one else in the house and you're in arms length. Do you really think you were ever going to be able to just drag me off into your lab and brainwash me?
Maybe you should ask yourself why you came up here like this," he knelt down to her and tried to put all the compassion he could muster into his face. "Because I think you're denying-"
"Appearances can be deceiving." Lisa snapped back and glared up with venom. "And if you attempt to force me into sexual relations- I will punish you accordingly."
Lincoln nearly backed off at her tone.
But he knew now that whatever internal conflict was going on with her, words weren't going to be enough. And if he let her go now, she'd probably go rat him and the girls out- with Luan's footage!
No, he had to act fast.
He had to act now, and if persuasion wasn't going to go the job then good old rape would have to do.
"Sorry Leese," he practically growled with resolve as he pounced on her like he had so many other sister. "But humans are nothing but mammals so they should do IT like they do it on the Discovery Chann- URRRLK!"
His motion was stopped in mid air as something impossibly strong wrapped around his neck, leaving his body to swing back and forward uselessly.
Lisa's expression went blank.
Then she chuckled.
And yet, her face never moved.
"Oh dear brother…" an unusually malicious tone crept into her voice- and something flickered in her fce. Not like a human- but like a static image. "Did you really think I would leave any part of your 'reform' to chance?"
And like that, Lisa's hologram vanished- leaving her full form on display.
All eight, hypertrophic feet of her.
Where she had supposedly stood were a pair of bulging calves whose skin was laced with veins over dense muscles, either one being enough to match her previous mass in its entirety. The invisible manacle around his throat was now revealed to be her index and thumb finger holding him in place, the other massive fingers being too large to fit around his neck together.
The fingers way to an overmuscled hand, wrist and arm that would make any bodybuilder call the owner out for over-juicing. Her torso was easily four feet wide there was not an inch of smooth skin save for the surface of her pectorals, abs and all the other muscles that Lincoln couldn't name. Drawing his eyes up with dread, Lincoln failed to find Lisa's neck, but rather a massive triangle of muscle where it aught to have been with a tiny, regular-sized Lisa's head atop.
"Reconsidering your life choices Elder Brother Unit?" Lisa dryly mocked.
"Hrhhlllgggk!" Lincoln tried to reply.
Lisa rolled her eyes, and then loosened her grip enough for him to breathe properly.
"H-how?" He gasped.
"I am capable of conceiving of and then constructing a fully functional time machine within a week from the initial concept," Lisa mocked. "This was childsplay. As will be removing your deviant tendencies,"
Lincoln's eyes grew wide at the thought of returning to the previous status quo. Of being everyone's bitch again instead of every one (besides Leni) being his!
The congealed memories of a thousand smackdowns, beatdowns and mockery from The Hivemind flashed before his eyes.
His little Log shrunk at the thought of never getting any more incestuous playtime.
A lifetime of being boring old Lincoln, the chewtoy of the family mooed before him once more.
Bitter resolve sparked in him and he drew in a breath, then he suddenly tried to squeeze his way out of Lisa's iron grip. Her fingers tightened just enough that what little give there was almost vanished. He glared at her in defiance and then started punching at her hand.
He yelped as his little boy fists connected with muscles hard as stone, and one of his knuckles popped open. Despite himself, his fists started slowing as the refelex to pull them back after each hit grew ad grew.
"No, no, keep going." Lisa mocked. "I think you're leaving a mark- oh apologies. That's just your blood."
He gave up on trying to punch her, and instead brought his fingers to try and pull her thumb away with all his might.
He might as well have been trying to move a mountain. And Lisa's expression remained unfazed.
Alright, her muscles were clearly too strong for him to overcome, but maybe her skin wasn't! He tried scratching at her, hoping to maybe startle her into dropping him.
"Really?" She stared into his eyes as his nails scraped uselessly off her tough skin. "Is this the best the 'Man with a Plan' has to offer? No wonder you had to resort to Stockholm syndrome to obtain romantic partnership."
Finally, running low on air again, he just tried slapping away her hand.
She started him down as his slaps uselessly echoed off her arms, before slow and stopping.
"Giving up?" Lisa mocked. "Finally, a good decision on your part."
"Never," he gasped out. "I don't care what you do to me and the girls, you'll never be able to make us give up our love!"
"… Love?" Lisa suddenly lost all mirth. "You call your rape and conditioning love? Are you so completely absorbed into your own manipulations that you have genuinely convinced yourself that your violations are a form of love?"
"Just… ask them!" He insisted. "Any of them!"
"Yes, the unbiased viewpoint of the subject of Stockholm Syndrome," Lisa rolled her eyes. "Perhaps some of their initial responses when you violated them would be worth noting, but after-"
"They wanted it!" He forced out, his airways slowly growing tighter. "T-they just didn't know it yet, watch the videos- they all wanted it after I started!"
If it were possible, the sheer contempt upon Lisa's features would have twisted it beyond her biology. She opened her mouth to probably issue a blistering tirade.
But then she stopped, and seemed to consider what he said.
"Yeah, j-just watch the videos!" He insisted. "None of them regret anything!"
Lisa's eyes came bac to his after a moment of contemplation. "So; your premise is that because they consented after the fact, your initial non-consensual act was retroactively legitimised?"
Her voice was cold as ice.
"Umm… yes?" He squeaked out, not knowing what else to say.
"An interesting sociological proposal." Lisa's words were curt. "I would require evidence before considering the validity thereof however."
Her other hand surged forwards, and Lincoln yelped as his jeans and victory undies were ripped away in tatters.
"Ah- w-what!?" Lincoln cupped his boys as they shrivled from the cold, and by far the worst rub-burn they had ever been through.
Lisa brought him in closer to her face. "We're going to test your theory, Fool."
Lincoln paled as he realised what she meant, then grew aroused.
"Oh…." He shivered with delight. Apparently Lisa had come around to his way of thinking- in a roundabout way sure, but his theory about his dick solving all his problems looked like it was provding true yet again!
Sure- ultra-muscly girls weren't his thing, but he could work with-
Lisa seemed to read his intentions from the perverse grin crossing his face, "I think you are misunderstanding the situation again, Elder Brother Unit." And like that, she titled his position so he could see all of her now.
And his smile disappeared like a Liberal Arts Major's hopes for gainful employment.
There, sitting between Lisa's legs and previously obscured from his vision by the angle of her arm, was a massive phallus.
The thing was rigid, and bigger than Lisa's previous height and width.
The veins pulses ominously and the head's exposed, widened slit seemed to make eye contact with him.
"…" what could he say?
"I believe this is what one calls 'a taste of your own medicine', Elder Brother Unit." Lisa lifted him back up to look him in the eye. "Now, if I recall correctly; I promised you a suitable punishment if your attempted to violate me."
Lincoln whimpered.
"But," Lisa raised one of her other fingers. "I am still willing to avoid such distasteful measures, if you agree to submit to the re-conditioning process without further opposition, and to assist in the capture of your victims."
He weighed his options;
A: Give in, give up his girls and go back to being the Loud House's bitchboy, or…
B: Go down fighting like a man and get used as Lisa's Fleshlight.
He thought for longer than was really necessary, and then…
"… Why?" He gasped out.
"Excuse me?" Lisa asked in perplexment.
"Why give me a choice?" He glared up. "You said you can brainwash us back to normal right? What difference does it make if I go along with it?"
"Because the conditioning won't take as long if you go along with it," Lisa sighed. "And I will not have to battle your 'harem' to succeed, obviously."
Lincoln mulled it over, then smiled as something occurred to him. "Leese?"
"Yes?" Lisa seemed to be getting impatient.
"How long does your machine or whatever take to brainwash someone?" He asked 'innocently'.
"… Quite some time, I must admit." Lisa rolled her eyes. "However, if you are hoping for rescue by our parents or your victims- I would point out that my current form renders any chance of such utterly improbable."
Lincoln cowed in victory as he saw the path of success before him. "Improbable you say, but not impossible."
Lisa stared him down, and honestly; she was really intimating like that.
And the thought of her big boner made his buthole clench in horror.
But the girls?
The girls were smart, heck; Luan alone had probably wrecked Lisa's stuff more times than he could count. All seven of them though?
Yeah, yeah Lincoln was willing to bet his butt (literally in this case) that they could get him out of this mess before Lisa managed to expunge his well-entrenched inner perv.
"… You're not seriously considering this are you?" Lisa asked in disbelief. "I am about to use my phallus to give you a Colonoscopy Bag."
"Yeah…" Lincoln looked up with a smirk of resolve. "But I'll bet you'll fix everything you're going to do to me once the girls smack you down and I show you what you've been missing out on!"
Lisa looked at him with utter disgust, then her features hardened. "I gave you a chance Lincoln. Try to remember that when you're experiencing mass haemorrhaging from multiple perforations of your Colon."
Lincoln blinked, and looked a bit confused.
Lisa rolled her eyes, "street term; rip up your asshole."
Lincoln's shivered- but stopped and smirked with resolve. "Bring it."
Lisa gazed upon her brother forlornly for but a moment.
Then dropped him.
The grabbed him in mid-air by the hips with both hands, and flipped him around so he was facing away from her.
She leaned down to his ear, and let him feel her hot breath on his neck. "Just remember… you chose this."
And then she commenced the punishment.
She threw him face-first into the floor with a crack, instantly shattering his nose and leaving his iconic buck-teeth loose. While he moaned in pained surprise, he yelped as she began the rapening by inserting herself into his now-level to her groin anus.
The next hour was horrific to any observer.
The house was stained by blood and other fluids.
The furniture was rendered dank and smelly in ways no one would ever dare identify.
And as for the participants?
Lisa stood, skin slicked with sweat and huffing in the kitchen, half-heartedly pistoning Lincoln's mostly- limp body upon her Phallus like a Fleshlight. Lincoln meanwhile was damp as well, but mostly due to the times he'd passed out and been awakened by Lisa quickly dunking him in the sink or bath.
His butthole, of course, was now more accurately called a buttbore- and from the way his pelvis had started crunching, Lisa would need to outright replace some things before he could so much as walk again.
But still, now well into Lincoln's Punishment, Lisa was at last getting tired. She looked down at the boy suspended in the air by her new genitalia; "… have you reconsidered your position yet, Elder Brother Unit?"
His head lolled, and liquid dripped from his soaked hair. But a whisper of something reached her ears.
Curious, Lisa leant down, grabbed his hair and pulled him up enough to hear what he uttered.
"…ok… on…." His words were weak and disconnected.
"Speak up Brother Unit," Lisa boredly commanded. "Your current vocalisations are too impaired for comprehension."
The boy stiffened a bit, then slowly, he turned his head towards her as far as he could to allow her to see half his face.
"J-jooookkkess…" he gasped in defiance. "Onnn… you."
Lisa blinked in surprise, then scowled in comprehension. "No…."
"I'm…. I'm…"
"No!" Lisa snapped. "I REFUSE TO ACCEPT-"
"I'm… INTO THIS SHIT!" Lincoln finished his declaration with a howl of joy, and much to Lisa's disgust, her eyes caught sight of his own undeniable arousal.
Lisa looked down in despair and horror at the deliriously happy pervert she had speared, and felt herself deflate a little at the sight of her failure.
"Aww..." Lincoln bemoaned. "What's the matter…. outta steam already?"
"... No." Lisa sighed. "I merely need to change to plan B."
"Plan B-"
Lisa smashed his face into a nearby wall, silencing him nicely.
The scientist marched through the house, ignoring the remains of her efforts and calmly walked out the back door.
Nude save for the sibling decorating her dong.
"LOUDS!" Mr Grouse's voice caught her attention as she walked into the garden. "QUIT THAT RUCKUS! I'VE BEEN HEARING IT ALL…."
Lisa turned her head to look the pale-faced Mr Grouse in the eyes. The older man stood silent in shock over the fence as he witnessed a waking nightmare. The fist he'd been waving remained in the air, but slowly drooping as his mouth dropped open under his bushy moustache.
"Go home Mr Grouse," Lisa calmly advised. "You don't need to be part of this."
The old name numbly nodded, and the hulk-like figure turned and walked ot her bunker, 'treating' the elderly man to the sight of her sculped back and protesterior.
He closed his eyes, and slowly drove his mower back to his own home.
He stopped at the front door, and before he stepped off to go inside and Forget with his old friend Zack Daniels- he took a moment to look at his old flag.
Every now and then, the old coot felt nostalgic for the old days. When men were men, woman were women and America… well.
It was an easier time in many ways. Harder too though, and not just in the way that made you better for it (though Bud would never admit it to the smug youngins). But most of all, it was a sane time. A time he understood in a way that he just didn't this one.
A few days ago, his old T.V. had finally died. Some part had gone inside the ancient hardware that just wasn't made anymore. He'd stiffly chalked it up to cheap foreign manufacturing and asked for something American made.
There was nothing in the store that didn't come from a different country.
So now he had something that was probably made in a sweatshop sitting in his front room, still waiting for when he'd finally give in and watch a game with the sporty Loud girl. And for whatever reason, he'd felt like putting up his old flag to remind everyone that this is still his America.
But now, as he looked at that old flag hanging from the little pole he'd brought out to hang it from, it felt off. And for the first time he noticed that the Stars were wrong.
"Oh…" he scratched his head. "There's meant to be fifty now aren't there?"
And he looked around again, at his home. At the neighbourhood. At his flag.
"Sometimes a man has to know when he's lived too long for his own good." He shook his head, and went inside to Forget.
Meanwhile as Mr Grouse made a point to try and drown his ever-increasing discomfort with the world, Lisa had dropped off the last rung of her Bunker's ladder and laded heavily on her feet.
"Uhh…," Lincoln groaned, blearily opening both black eyes. "Where… where are we?"
"My Bunker," Lisa bluntly explained, and calmly walked over to her computer. Her keyboard clacked as she typed into in a series of commands.
Nearby, one of her wall panels slid back to reveal a large blue-glowing hole. Lisa nodded in satisfaction, and then reached under her computer table to withdraw something long that Lincoln couldn't see properly.
"W-what that?" His vision as still blurry, but his stomach lurched and the hole came into view as Lisa walked closer to it. "Is that the mind control thing!"
"In a manner of speaking." Lisa calmly replied as she grabbed the bac of his head. "Now hold still."
Lincoln would have done anything but, however his puny neck muscles weren't even a match for Lisa's pinkie in her current state. Instead she just shoved his head into the hole and ignoring his protests as high pitched whirr emitted.
"Hey, hey, hey- you don't need to do this! I bet we can come to a deal right- you want me to leave the girls in the house alone, that's fine I can do that I'll just stick to- AGHHH!"
A flash suddenly emitted from the hole, and Lisa's hand tingled where it was within the device.
Lincoln however fell silent, and blinked dumbfoundedly as Lisa withdrew from the device entirely.
"Ahh…." he moaned. "I… I'm… hunh?" The Boy quickly ran over his feelings towards his sisters. "I'm still a perv!" He twisted around to grin at Lisa. "Your stupid machine doesn't work Leese! Nothing can stop the-"
BANG
Lincoln's corpse flopped down sans a head, and Lisa set aside her shotgun before pulling out her ever-present recording device from somewhere. "... In spite of my best efforts Plan A was a failure, but stage One of B was a resounding success- as one would expect given the well noted effectiveness of a shotgun against a juvenile skull. Proceeding to cleanup and Stage two imminently."
The cleanup only took a few minutes thanks to Lisa's many robots. The blood stains were annoyingly difficult to remove, but it was simply a matter of time when the efforts of Lisa Loud, PhD (obtained four years of age, thank you very much) were applied.
Lincoln's corpse was simply thrown into her matter decompiler, and soon his useless flesh was remade into assorted base particles that could be assembled into something that could be potentially more worthwhile than the boy would have achieved in his own lifespan anyway.
Like a coffee machine for example.
The important part of Lincoln, what more suppositious members of society might dub a 'soul' had already been extracted regardless. Lisa's device had merely primed it for removal so that Stage Two could begin in earnest.
And as for that stage…
A thick tube arose from her lab floor, the surface parting seamlessly from the rest to reveal a glowing green fluid within the cylindrical glass. Suspended in the gelatinous fluid was what appeared to be a slightly younger, (and considerably more intact than the last time Lisa had seen him) Lincoln Loud.
The genius looked the clone body over with a critical eye... and determined that there was nothing that could not be easily explained by a minor lab accident- nothing was really implausible after The Incident with Mr Tentacles had demonstrated just how advanced her technology was.
She settled into her lab chair and opened up a file, containing Lincoln's brainwaves as per the initial scan approximately two years ago to the final moments of his existence. She raised her recording device with her free hand clicked it on as she prepared the editing software.
"Stage Two has been initialized, I believe that I have determined the deviant patterns..."
The sisters, fortunately, did not require any such extreme intervention. All that was needed was a relatively simple application of the Brain Blaster and as far they were concerned, the past few weeks had been the usual Loud shenanigans. All memory of their indiscretions and the deviant tendencies that had been induced thereof were safely stored away into a series of tubes that were promptly thrown into disposal.
Ashes to ashes.
Garbage to the sewer.
Lori and Luan returned to Bobby and Benny without issues, their sudden friendliness not being questioned by the grateful beaus.
Sam and Lincolns less consanguineous victims were a bit tricker, but aside from a minor incident or two they were all returned to their usual selves as well.
Minus a few oddities and subconscious paraphilias, but Lisa Loud had other priorities than whatever pubescent girls got off on.
Namely editing Lincoln's own memory to eliminate his deviant patterns to the best her abilities before the family caught onto the fact the 'Lincoln' they were currently subjecting to their interactions was a well-programmed android.
Alas, it was taking a great deal longer than she had anticipated.
"Experiment two-eight-nine, do you have any desire of coitus with any of your sisters?" Lisa queried the newest Lincoln as he blearily awoke from his tube.
"Well now that you mention it-"
BANG
Lisa sighed to herself as yet another body slumped over to be disposed of, before she turned to the fifth tube in a row with a Lincoln body floating within. A light on a nearby panel flickered on, indicating a full consciousness transfer had been completed, and then a second light joined it to confirm that yet another of her pre-determined modifications had been performed upon his mental state.
Hopefully this version would finally lack the deviant patterns.
"Attempting to revive experiment two-nine-zero..."
A/N:
Thanks to Blaze for Beta for Beta-reading, and Nuuo for providing a lot of the ideas and outright text that went into How to End a Harem, especially the line :
"But humans are nothing but mammals so they should do IT like they do it on the Discovery Channel", as well the last lines between Lisa and Lincoln Version 289.
