Lime Lisa!

"Lisa!" Lincoln called out as he made his way into her and Lily's room, "Lisa?"

The room was apparently empty of the little genius, though Lincoln was quite certain she'd been in there a few moments ago.

Mainly because of the sudden glow that had flashed under the doorframe upon their mother calling her to come downstairs so they could go out already. Of course, considering the destination in question, Lincoln was half-expecting her to have 'accidentally' teleported to the other of the galaxy.

But upon seeing a certain green shape upon her chemistry desk, he knew she'd done something sillier.

"Ahem!" Lisa's voice called out from the object. "Down here!"

Lincoln stared at the glasses-bearing fruit with dull surprise.

"It's me Lincoln!" Lisa crowed, "I did i- accidentally did it; I'm Lime Lisa! I'm...

Why aren't you reacting?"

"Eh..." Lincoln shrugged, "I mean, it's cool and all but it's also, y'know; been done before."

"No, PICKLES have been done before," Lisa hissed. "This is an entirely new and-"

Lincoln looked around the room, and quickly spotted a loose panel fixed above the chemistry table..

"Elder Brother Unit, what are you- hey, you have no permission to-" Lisa's balderdash was pointedly ignored as Lincoln puled the panel away from the wall to reveal a syringe aimed at Lisa along with a series of mechanisms that would probably have dropped the panel and fired said syringe at the Limey Lisa in around five minutes. "Ah, ahem, well that's- OOOW!"

Lisa found her lower half suddenly stabbed by a needle as Lincoln nonchalantly injected her. The boy stepped back and folded his arms as Lisa violently morphed back into a slimy and nude version of her usual self. The scientist blinked, then huffed in annoyance at her brother; "you do realise that could have contained something lethal to my en-fruited form, correct?"

"We know you have loads of clone bodies to reboot from." Lincoln shrugged, then out to Mom; "Lisa'll be down in five minutes Mom!"

"Thanks Lincoln!" Rita called back with relief. "Lisa, no more trying to get out of Family Therapy or we're taking your surgery privileges for a week!"

"Dang it." Lisa huffed and dropped down to march to the bathroom. "This is what I get for trusting Sanchez; 100% Get Out of Therapy Free Card my mutated left Gluteus Maximus!"


Lisa's Therapy Fix (Nuuo)

5 Minutes after entering office, wailing can be heard and the door opens to Lisa walking out and bawling her eyes out and the therapist looking confused and apologetic to the Loud matriarch. The Loud mother crouches down to scoop up her daughter, glaring at the doctor who was supposed to help them.

"What happened?"

"She-she-she called me retarded!" Lisa bawls even harder, finger pointing at the Susan Sarandon lookalike.

"I would never! I only suggested Lisa might have a learning or social disability-"

"What kind of monster are you? We're leaving and taking our deposit back!"

The family looks bewildered seeing their mom yell at the woman and the receptionist but follow her angrily stomping back to Vanzilla, hushing Lisa and putting her in her car seat.

"There there honey, don't worry, how about we go somewhere fun! I swear I'm going to sue that place." Rita mutters as the rest of the family enters the van and Rita starts the car.

"Can-can-can we go to Burpin' Burger?"

"Of course!"

"And get chickie nuggets?"

"We'll get you a Burpin' Meal and Chicken Nuggets for you, for my special girl!"

As the van drives away, sitting between Lola and her older brother, Lincoln just shakes his head as Lisa hands Lola an envelope of money.

"A pleasure doing business, as always!"

"I don't think your acting lessons is fooling the rest of the family." Lisa wipes her glasses and her nose, the hot sauce tablet Lola told her to take still making her eyes water and nose run.

"It's not about fooling them, it's about fooling mommy and daddy. And now we all get to have chickie nuggies!" Lola bounces in her seat while Lisa rolls her eyes.

"Also, I expect another payment by next week too." Lola nonchalantly says, inspecting her nails.

"What? Why?"

"You want me to spill the beans to mommy now or later?"

Lisa just grumbles in her seat. She'll just mindblast and take her money back from Lola later. Maybe mindblast the rest of the family to be on the safe side.


Baby Boogaloo Omake: Maggiecoln Wedding (latter half by Nuuo)

Lincoln awoke the next day, his last memory being him exasperatedly explaining that no, Magician and Mayhem were never meant for an 'endgame'-

And then nothing.

He groaned, and tried to move only to find himself unable to even rise because his lower back felt like he pulled every muscle in it. He looked to his side, and saw a bruised but satisfied Maggie staring at him.

"You said it didn't you?"

The woman sat up with her smirk, baring her infamously ample girls- their swaying motion would have been lovely if his Log didn't feel rubbed raw. "You were being lame. If you're going to pretend Mayhem wasn't the best character in the entire comic you might as well put your mouth to good use."

"... Did we at least use a condom?"

Maggie gave him a flat look, then pointed down. Lincoln winced as he saw what appeared to be white frosting coating the woman's naughty bits, fresh liquid dribbles coming out as she moved around.

"Dang it," he sighed. "We're running out of L names..."

"Well I named Gloom so-"

"And that's why I'm naming the next one."


Months Later
"We gather here today to witness this couple join, in holy matrimony..."
"Lincoln and Maggie are now getting married, everyone understood that this was meant to be. Lily was crying, Lisa was looking sour for losing her sperm bank, family and friends were happy seeing Lincoln and Maggie looking happy together.
"If anyone objects that these two-"
"YEAH I DO!"
The crowd gasps and murmurs when they see a guest stand up on a chair, objecting to the wedding when the preacher asks if anyone objects, who even objects to weddings in the middle of a ceremony? The one objecting no one recognized as family or friend, if he was from the groom or bride's side. It was a blue man objecting, no. A blue person?
"THIS SHIP WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! MAGGIE IS A TERRIBLE CHARACTER, SHE ONLY HAD FOUR MINUTES OF SCREEN TIME! SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A PERSONALITY!"
"The rest of the congregation were getting agitated now. Not only the family and friends from the bride's side but the groom's as well. Lincoln and Maggie themselves were getting livid as this strange blue person was ranting and raving.
"GET THIS LUNATIC OUT OF HERE!"
"While the men of the congregation were removing the nuisance, Lincoln and Maggie finished their vows without interruption and exchanged rings. And they all lived happily ever after.


A/N:

Thanks to Nuuo for Beta-Reading, as well as his contributions and the initial suggestion that lead to Lime Lisa.