A/N:
The first ficlet here is just a little scene that came across as too serious for A Loud Christmas (With Eggnog)'s tone, the rest however were collaborative efforts or just outright written by Nuuo.
A Loud Christmas (With Eggnog) Deleted Scene.
While Lincoln was attempting to make himself presentable, and the other denizens of living room attempted to peel themselves from the floor- Lori and Leni pried apart the pair of combatants battling their way across the floor.
Normally Ronnie Anne would have stood no chance against Lynn's literal decades of martial arts experience, and that was before mentioning her abnormal strength that had gotten her more drug tests than any other athlete in history. But her rage had unlocked something in her, like a mother who can lift a tree that had fallen from her child for just a moment as her body allows the full force of her musculature to come to the fore- Ronnie Anne's sheer salt had broken her limit.
Lynn meanwhile had a hangover and felt kind of bad about what she did last night so she wasn't putting her all in anyway. Thus the two were at a stalemate on the floor in front of the stairs- right up until Lori and Leni grabbed the two by their waists and ripped them apart.
"Lemme at her!" Ronnie screeched, her hands forming claws as she swiped for Lynn. "I'll rip your ovaries out with my teeth!"
But while Leni had to keep a firm hold of Ronnie Anne, Lynn mostly stayed put in Lori's grip. "Yeah, I think I'll pass on that chief." She looked back at Lori, revealing a few nasty welts on her face. "We should really go."
"Can't argue with that," Lori muttered, and released Lynn- who happily followed the Eldest deeper into the house.
"No- no, NOOOOO!" Ronnie wailed with rage, "I need to ki-"
"Ronnie!" Leni squeezed the other woman, whose limbs slowed as Lynn vanished form sight. "it's over, okay?"
Ronnie struggled for a moment longer… but finally gave up and sagged back into Leni.
"It's not fair…" she sighed, "I tried so hard to pretend all those rumours never got to me and then he goes and does this?"
Leni's arms loosened, and Ronnie Anne stepped onto the floor-only to find herself pulled into a hug. "It's okay, Linky and Lynn did something really dumb-"
"You can say that again," the sour Santiago mumbled.
"And they hurt you," Leni met her eyes. "But they didn't mean to, they got really drunk and did dumb things-"
"I know- I remember the stupid chicken game stuff!" Ronnie broke from the hug and threw up her hands, "I just thought it was some kind of sick dream!"
"Then you know they didn't mean to hurt you," Leni said softly. "Even though they did."
"… Yeah, yeah they did." Ronnie sighed, feeling more empty than angry at this point, she turned back with slightly running mascara and thumping headache. "Look, I'm sorry about throwing down with Lynn-"
"Oh, that's totally fine," Leni waved it away. "Like; someone tries throw Lynn through a window every time she stays over."
"… Really?" Ronnie
"Yes." Leni seemed entirely serious, and as Ronnie's tired mind mulled her knowledge of the Louds over- she realised that there as no reason for her to disbelieve the ditzy woman.
"Dang… uh…" Ronnie drooped slightly as the last of her adrenaline faded, and every muscle in her body burned- and her headache came back in full force. "Crap- I need a new bucket or something."
"Oh, for your party head, right?" Leni clasped her hands together, "don't worry- I have a totes awesome Smoothie that can clear that right up!"
Ronnie raised her eyes to see the blonde smiling, "really?"
She sounded sceptical.
"Totes," Leni nodded firmly.
"… Screw it, it can't make things worse." Ronnie sighed, and found Leni's arm suddenly around her so that the taller woman could support her weight. "… Thanks Leni."
"No problem…" Leni stopped for a moment. "Sorry about letting them do gross stuff last night. I was all caught up in how gross the incest was that I forgot about how it was cheating and all."
"Yeah well… there's nothing you can do now…" Ronnie sighed in bitter disappointment and her body ached in misery. "I… let's just go and get that smoothie, okay?"
Lisa Ex Machina: Lincoln Gets Creative (Nuuo collaboration).
Just as Lincoln was about to die from boredom, wondering if anyone even bothers checking up on Lisa, a portal opens. Another Lisa pops out, sees Lincoln tied up, and original Lisa giving a presentation of some sort."
"What's going on here?"
Lincoln loosens a binding over his mouth and gestures to his sister. "Lisa says my fanfictions are bad." Lisa Ex Machina just rolls her eyes and turns to the overgrown toddler.
"Write your own stories instead of criticizing others sometime."
Doesn't elaborate further, opens a portal, leaves. Lisa Sigma Grindset guides Lisa Ex Machina on her adventures.
Lincoln turns to his Lisa and asks "Yeah! Why don't you write your own stories hu-" only to get blasted by Lisa's Mindblaster.
Lisa waits till Lincoln stops blinking and looks back at her.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. So, as I was saying..."
And Lincoln goes back to thinking if anyone bothers checking up on Lisa while she's in her bunker. Regretting not telling anyone he was here. Dying from boredom. When suddenly a portal opens.
Out popped a man bearing a labcoat and the stench of long-term alcohol abuse, his hair was an inhuman blue and spiked save for a-
" *Burp* C-cool it Lovecraft, they get it." The Man clearly didn't much care for-
"I said cool it! God you can just do 'said' or something." He pointedly took a swig from his frequently-abused flask. "And again with the alliteration *Burp*, maybe-."
"Uh, sorry to interrupt whatever this is," Lincoln was visibly confused-
"As opposed to invisibly confused?"
"-who are you and why are you here?" The snowy-haired man appeared more tired than anything else, having gone through too much today to really be that enthused or concerned over a new mystery.
It was the Mysterious Man's turn to be confused, "eh? Should be pretty obvious for someone who does the fourth-wall break thing every episode."
Lincoln just stared.
"You know, when you do the whole talking to the audience thing?" The Blue Haired Hedonist indicated to the other side of the Bunker, ostensibly where an audience might be placed if the two were on a stage.
"Oh, that!" Lincoln would have snapped his fingers in recognition if he wasn't bound by dozens of steel arms. "Yeah, I went to therapy for that."
"Ah..." The Other Man took another drought from his flask. "Yeah, that was your first mistake. Anyway..." he turned his attention elsewhere, and pulled out a note from his coat to read off. "S *burp* so- this guy isn't a stand in for Flagg. Or at least not just Flagg 'cause that's not what the guy writing this was going for. All the stuff Girl-Dexter went on about was taken from a bunch'a writers, starting with roasting the slow updates and sadistic humour of the one writing all this."
…
"Uh…" Lincoln looked around again. "Is that it or-"
"Yeah, basically." The Discount Doctor Who shrug- "oh please, that Dude/ette Mary Sues so hard they're a f-fucking International Unit of Cringe - don't even try comparing us." He scowled, clearly discontent at his descriptions; "damn right. And another thing; you gotta stop using this guy as a stand-in for all those writers if you're gonna keep grinding him down. I mean, don't get me wrong; watching a guy get kicked in the balls is funny. But if you keep doing it after you even imply he's a stand in for someone recognisable? Yeah, people are gonna get the idea that you've got a problem with the other guy."
...
There was a moment of silence.
"So uh..." Lincoln appeared slightly disturbed. "C-could you let me up-"
"Uh no, sorry, no can do." The Superscientist pointedly pulled out his portal gun and blasted a glowing new doorway into the nearest wall. "I was just here to do the meta stuff, y'know? I- *Burp*- I don't really care about anything else around here anyway."
And like that, he pointedly stepped into his portal and out of the story.
"Well it was about time." Lisa huffed. "Now-"
"WHAT!?" Lincoln yelped in surprise as he noticed Lisa for the first time since the blue-haired weirdo had stepped in. "When did you get back!?"
"I never left," Lisa clarified. "I was just waiting for Mr Meta to get his cameo over with so I could continue telling you how you're wrong."
Nuuo's Sincoln send off:
While my degenerative behind wants to see the Sinhouse sisters each try to go to bat with Lincoln and fail before Lisa Deus Exes Safehouse home. And rather see Sincoln kicked in the nuts by each of the Safehouse sisters before returning home.
"So they ALL kicked you?"
"Yeah..."
"In the crotch?"
"Yeah..."
Lincoln lounges back in his own universe's family couch again for the first time in again in what felt like years. Never thinking he'd miss the grime or terrible lighting in his house.
"My mouth still works, and my "magic fingers" if you're interested, my sweet potato-"
"Yeah not gonna happen dude", Luna and Luan waddle into the room, legs bowed before finding a nearby seat and wincing in pain after sitting.
"What happen to you guys."
"Your Lincoln, other Lincoln, Mister Stick In The Mud, kicked us in our hoo-has, for no apparent reason!"
"No reason? That doesn't make sense. You guys didn't say or try anything to set him off did you?"
"N-No, what about you?" Luna smiles nervously as she deflects back.
"We were having so much fun, until I tried to kiss them. Lily was totally asking for it too! How would I know she was getting married and was a-" Lincoln shudders as he's recalling past events, "a Monogamist."
"Absolutely disgusting"
"Sacrilege"
"The body is a rock concert, not one person band man."
"Well it got me thinking, maybe we should branch out, get our lives in order, see other-"
Before being able to finish that sentence, Lisa brings a bat out to knock him unconscious.
"Good call dude."
"I am the smart one here."
"We should get that helmet of yours to make him forget everything about that other place, poor guy, he was starting to think for himself too almost."
"Affirmative, but I can't move on my own now."
"Don't you have a robot or something?"
"Do I look like I'm smart enough to build robots?"
"I swear I remember Lisa, turned herself into a lime."
"It was a dream Luan."
"Funniest thing I ever saw!"
