Basic Reason Ex Machina (The Taunting Hour):

"… the more I ignored him, the easier it got! Plus, why should I care about what he has to say? I'm doing what I love and that's all that matters!"

Lincoln nodded to himself, satisfied that his presentation of various humiliations at Chandler's hands would resolve the family's issues-

"… Okay but how does that help us?"

Lincoln stopped mid-nod, and saw an unimpressed Lynn folding her arms. "Hunh?"

"Dude, you're just telling us to just ignore our critics." Luna flatly asserted, dropping down a little on the floor. "If it was that easy, we would've just done it ourselves."

"Yeah, it's not like we can just plug in our ears or somethin' toots!" 'Mr Coconuts' folded his arms as well, and Luan piped up as well; "we have to keep an eye on the audience or we'll lose the crowd!"

"Our Elder Sister Units raise a valid counterpoint." Lisa shook her head, "this 'solution' is simply not one at all."

"Yeah- I mean, how am I supposed to know if I did good or not if I don't look at the judges!" Lola piped up. "Good feelings don't win trophies Lincoln!"

"There's something he'd know about," a mean voice snickered, but Lincoln's eyes and ears failed to find its owner before the snickers from all corners of the room started.

Eyeing Luan and her ventriloquist tendencies as the main culprit, he was stuck trying to figure out how the salvage the situation.

"Ahhh! Fine!" He snapped at the laughter, but the previous barb had a hint that his clever mind easily traced to a better solution. "Yeah, you guys have lots of trophies, but that's because you're good at what you do right?

If you're that great, then maybe you're not the problem!

Lynn, you're the best player on any of your teams- if you run like an emu then you're probably doing it because the way they run is super fast or something, like how those kung-fu guys act like bugs or stuff because they move in ways that work for people as well!"

"Hey!" Lynn brightened up, "that's not wrong!"

"And you two!" Lincoln pointed at Luan and Luna, "you both do artistic stuff. But that's the thing, different people like different art, some people like pranks and jokes, some people like rock, but not everyone likes those things- of course you're going to get people who don't like what you make!"

"Yeah," Luna snapped her fingers as. "Yeah, that that manager chick always seemed like a classical kind of gal anyway."

"Ahh, the kid's got a point toots," 'Mr Coconuts' nodded to Lincoln. "You can't get 'em all!"

Lincoln grinned as he felt the mood of the room lifting with every success; "Lola, that old lady judge's probably been judging pageant's for so long that there's nothing she wouldn't have seen before!"

"Ms Kranken has been around forever…" Lola pondered.

"Dad, you're a cook- there's nothing you can make would appeal to everyone's tastes now, would it?"

"It's true," Lynn Sr's brows furrowed. "I bet that old coot doesn't even know there's spices besides pepper!"

"Mom- people who expect paper editors to fix their lives are beyond help!"

"Well, yeah- but you're not supposed to say it." Rita chuckled. "But thanks honey."

"And Lisa…" he hesitated a moment. "… You cured two kinds of cancer last week, the other scientists can deal with Todd."

"I did in fact do that." Lisa mused, then her eyes narrowed. "… But I can't help but notice that you failed to refute their derision towards-"

"The point is that you're all pretty great, no matter what those other guys say!" Lincoln spread his arms out to indicate them all. "And if you're great, then it doesn't matter what they say- right?"

"Yeah, I'm still awesome!"

"Totally dude!"

"Can't say no to that!"

"I concur with your assessment."

"Well, I can't argue with that."

"I knew my cooking was perfect!"

"Aww, thanks Linky." Lola sighed in relief; "I guess you're not a life ruiner after all!"


From then on, the Louds returned to their usual activities- albeit now actively ignoring their critics for the most part rather than somehow remaining oblivious to them in a way that defied all logic.

Luna played alongside her band, and avoided inducing any new near collisions.

Lola twirled her ribbon with indisputable skill, and daintily deflected the murmurings from an older woman who had nothing else left in her life than spite.

Rita just ignored the majority of her trolls, but would occasionally pick one of the most prominent ones to verbally vivisect with her trained logic and insight to reveal them to be responsible for their own problems- a revelation that left them reeling away to apply copium until they'd employed enough circular reasoning to recover.

Luan started trolling her trolls, because that was honestly just good content.

Lynn Sr… well, he had his own method of 'taking care' of Mr Grouse:

"Euh!" The Older Man complained as he spat out his mac'n cheese. "This cheese tastes like it came out a box- I want a-"

"Oh, hi Bud." Mr Grouse jumped a bit as Lynn Sr appeared behind him. "I'm afraid my lasagne isn't on the menu today."

"What!" Mr Grouse groused, "how can this be Lynn's table if there's no Lynnsagne!"

"Because a chef has to diversify his menu now and then," Lynn nodded to somewhere behind Grouse, and the older man found himself surprised again as Kotaro neatly replaced the mac'n cheese with a similar, but slightly more orange dish. "Why don't you try this instead."

Mr Grouse look down doubtfully. "This isn't lasagne."

"No, but just try it."

Not having much else to do, and with no lasagne on the way, Bud obliged.

His eyes widened ."I- what the- I can taste it!"

Lynn Sr snapped his fingers, "ah- I figured that might be it."

"Might be what Loud?"

"Your tastebuds- they're too old to really taste anymore!" Lynn nodded to himself, "I worked it out when I compared all the stuff you don't like that other people do- but my Lynnsagne's so full of flavour it gets through even for you- so I tweaked my Mac'n cheese recipe to have a few more things, and viola; it worked!"

Lisa had a more aggressive approach:

"Greetings Colleagues- and less credentialed audience members." Lisa stood upon the presentation stage again, "I am proud to present my newest findings; liquified light- which as per precedent shall be presented by my assistant To-"

"Oh great," a certain audience member bemoaned. "That Dancing Robot-"

SHUK

A stage light suddenly lit him up.

Lisa's little eyes gleamed and she pointed at him, "Todd has presented new material in five years Matthew. Can you say the same?"

Matthew suddenly seemed less talkative.

"That's what I thought." Lisa snapped her fingers, the light disappeared, "I invite you all to enjoy the show."

And while Lisa's method was quite direct, Lynn Jr's was decidedly… controversial.

It happened in the same way as the saga had begun, with Lynn punting around a soccer ball in a match- easily leagues ahead of her opponents as they desperately tried to match her speed- but all failing as she sped up- and lined up her strike.

"Emu legs! Emu legs!" A certain, retirement village resident called out with glee.

But unlike before, Lynn simply smirked- and silently envisioned herself darting forward like she was an Emu- with all the astonishing speed one moved their legs with. It was so effective that for a moment, Lynn briefly tranced, and she swore that her legs were scaly- and half the crowd would later swear that they saw the shadow of the outback animal in the place of Lynn's.

And of course, Lynn Loud Jr sped up once more- easily outpacing the last defender to come within inches of the legal limits of the goal. The poor goalie looked miserable as he feebly opened his arms to try and intercept.

TKKK

Lynn's foot booted the ball with a terrifying force, and it shot between his right arm and leg before he could blink.

"YEAHHHHH!" The crowd cheered as the ball bounced in the net, and Lynn tipped her head to the goalie.

"Crikey…" he shook his own noggin.

Of course, the game wasn't done quite yet and Lynn returned to position while everything was getting set up again.

Scoots of course wouldn't pass up an opportunity to heckle once more;

"H-hey Emu legs!" She called out with cupped hands. "What's the matter- can't run like a normal person?" She cackled.

Lynn turned her head with merciless eyes; "yeah, can you? 'Cause after all these years, I don't think that scooter's a choice anymore, is it?"

Scoots went silent, and awkwardly dropped her hands.

"That's what I thought."


IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY (Nuuo suggested alternate Lisa Ex Machina: JSEM ending):

Lynn glared up at the giant, rippling mass of muscle that was Lisa. Her smug grin was barely visible over the possibly literal tonne of lean muscle that towered over the now smaller girl.

For a moment, she thought about assessing her foe- she who had stolen her prized title of Strongest Girl in The House- and strategizing a way to take down the 'Futa-Hulk'.

But then she stopped as she realised the answer was staring her right in the in the face. Specifically, it was the thing that made Lisa a 'Futa-Hulk' rather than just a 'hulk' in general that happened to be making a massive bulge in Lisa's pants, along with two smaller bulges that were slightly above Lynn's eye level.

Lisa's eyes caught a sudden smile crossing Lynn's face; "ah, have you come to appreciate the glory of my-"

Whap!

Lisa's pelvis jerked, and then she blinked before a light tapping sensation reached her pain centre. She looked down to find a dumbfounded Lynn staring at her slightly scuffed knuckles.

"Diminutive Sister Unit, did you seriously just-"

Lynn however was never one to simply give up, and her expression firmed up into new resolve as she braced herself into a new stance- and once again drove her fist forwards with perfect form-

Whap!

To harmlessly bounce back off the toughened scrotum of Lisa Loud.

And what an observer might have wanted to take a little time to think about what life choices lead them to watching this affair; Lynn allowed herself no such luxury. Instead, she drew back that right hand, and drove her left forwards with the same motion-

Whap!

And again with the right.

Whap!

And again-

Whap!

Whap!

Whap!

WHAP!

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

The Sportstar pummelled Lisa's jewels through her shorts, ignoring the pain in her knuckles and wrists to carve off even a 0.1% of Lisa's metaphorical health bar. But she wasn't some kind of machine who could maintain an endless barrage without a break, so with one final WHAM that achieved approximately sweet frick all, she bounced back on her heels in her boxer's stance to glare up at Lisa once more.

"…Why…?" She gasped, her knuckles visibly bleeding. "Why can't I hurt you!?"

Lisa took a moment to brush off her shorts, and tutted as she brought up her fingers to find them slightly damp with Lynn's blood. "Oh, it's quite simple dear sister, but I'll put things in terms even you can understand…"

Her mighty body rippled as she put her hands on her hips and flexed, prompting Lincoln (who was still trapped as Lisa's unwilling dumbbell) to issue a squeak like a toy.

"Super Steroids Tiny!" Lisa smirked down at Lynn. "Even my ballsack has more gainz than your ankle-biter body ever will.

Tryhard as much as you like; you can't hurt Deez Nuts Lynn!"